BigTom

I mean the photo galleries barely change. The conversations are stilted on male prostitutes and a member named Whitman wins (and is okay with winning) the leaderboard every day. 

I mean the photo galleries barely change. The conversations are stilted on male prostitutes and a member named Whitman wins (and is okay with winning) the leaderboard every day. 

I mean the photo galleries barely change. The conversations are stilted on male prostitutes and a member named Whitman wins (and is okay with winning) the leaderboard every day. 

Sometimes the last story at the bottom of the front page of the Guardian just sort of jumps out more than the headlines: 
 

Friend: “Bros before hoes!”
Me: “My bros…ARE hoes!”

MOV_4550.mov

Late addition
 
I was just released from the Spa (hospital) after another 2 weeks. Wanted to share a few things that have been sent my way in the last few weeks to cheer me up. Hope they do the same for you.
 
If you are old enough to remember the original Hollywood Squares, you may get a kick out of these. They were sent to me by my good friend in OHIO (oh no).
 
 
 
 
Hollywood Squares:
 
These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
 
 
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
 
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
 
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
 
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
 
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
 
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
 
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
 
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
 
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
 
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
 
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
 
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
 
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
 
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
 
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
 
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
 
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
 
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
 
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
 
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected..
 
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
 
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
 
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
 
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
 
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
 
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!

If you are
>30, or older,
>you might think this is hilarious!
 
 
>When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes
>about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five
>miles to school every morning.... Uphill...
>Barefoot... BOTH ways.
>yadda, yadda, yadda
>
>And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell
>I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
 
 
>But now that I'm over the ripe old age of 42, I can't help but look around
>and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared
>to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
>And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got
>it!
>
>1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to
>know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the
>card catalog!!
>
>2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with
>a pen! Then you
>had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would
>take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
>
>3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter
>of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere
>was safe!
>
>4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music,
>you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
>
>5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would
>usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players!
> We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject"
>it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause,
>hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
>
>6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
>and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
>
>7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you
>just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch
>with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!!
> Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then
>there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how
>annoying you are.
>
>8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no
>idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie,
>your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had
>to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
>
>9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution
>3-D graphics! We had the
>Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen
>guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And
>there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And
>you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster
>and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

It's the Law; Use a Pun, Go to Jail!

When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns.

This public service announcement brought to you by the National ROFL Association

STOP IT! You're PUNishing ME!

I love this type of stuff so i can't resist.
 
 
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.
 
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
 
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
 
Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
 
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
 
"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."
 
The devil led him to the door of the next room.
 
In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
 
"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Obama.
 
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
 
Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."
 
The devil smiled and said .. . . . .
 
 
 
"OK, Monica, you're free too go

Cartoons and other stuff
 
The items below are courtesy of my good friend in Ohio. The first one is from a cartoon. Since that is a visual medium, I ask everyone to bend a bit as I try to describe a cartoon that made me laugh out loud...
Apologies if I fail....
 
Imagine a picture of an A.A. type meeting for dogs. There are dogs seated all around a lectern waiting expectantly for the bull dog at the microphone to share...
The bull dogs says.
MY NAME IS REX AND IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS SINCE I HAVE LICKED MY BALLS....
 
Not even a giggle huh?
OK... let's try this one. I was tempted to put this in the thread about gays on ships...but, that's a story for another time...You'll get it when the story is over..I hope....
 
 
Manure... An interesting fact
 
In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.
 
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
 
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening
 
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
 
 
Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
 
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
 
Neither did I.
 
I had always thought it was a golf term.

A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country. Each summer the lawyer would invite a different escort friend to spend a week or two.
 
On one occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian escort to stay with him. The friend, eager to visit America, agreed.
 
Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their breakfast. As they went around the berry patch gathering blueberries and raspberries, along came two huge bears, a male and a female.
The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
 
The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town, and got the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer.
 
Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in that one," cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his escort's family danced in his head.
 
He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female.
 
"What did you do that for?" exclaimed the lawyer. "I said he was in the other one!"
 
"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"

Funny Stuff Jackhammer. Thanks for the laughs.

Thanks for the chuckles!

Last Tuesday...
 
This race in New Jersey last Tuesday had some interesting humor. check out the names of the horses....

With the recent path my life has taken, I have found it helpful to try to focus on upbeat things, especially humor (a relative term to be sure). Some of my close friends have taken to sending me jokes. I thought you might like to see a few.
If there is interest perhaps I will post some more along the way.
You might have a joke that would make me laugh out loud, so feel free to add it to the thread.
 
Here are few for today:
 
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
 
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
 
And then....

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
 
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."
 
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
 
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
 
Finally........
 
What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

True, I guess.
Madonna does not deserve this level of ridicule 

unless you've been living under a rock for the last 40 years. Yes, seriously 
You don't need to like her or her music to acknowledge her influence & activism   and I’m not a huge fan of the music - there’s a difference: Madonna the artist vs Madonna as a cultural force
to deny it is ridiculous - read the NYT piece, it’s all there 

most of us have grown up w Madonna always there.  She’s been a public figure for decades.  As gay men, I think most of appreciate her very public positions always in favor of & working on behalf of our causes. Very few celebrities of her stature can claim the same legacy.  
That said, in a way we feel like we know her almost as relative because we’ve seen her life through all life stages, marriages, breakups, children, success, public adulation/revulsion. And like a sister, if I’m being honest…..love/hate her at times for whatever her latest antics.
She’s been adored for her beauty, sex-appeal & glamour - it can’t be easy when age catches up and all the money in the world doesn’t stop the aging process.  who can blame her for trying to keep it going just a bit longer ?  
She will be remembered as one of the most brilliant ground-breaking entertainers ever. Thats Madonna.  
 
How Madonna became the queen of all queens
WWW.INDEPENDENT.CO.UK Never afraid of talking about sex, Madonna changed the way people perceived gay sex and vastly improved the lives of those having it by campaigning to publicise...  

I wonder how she has handles decades and decades (and decades) of people talking about her look. It also amuses me how she manages to create so many conversations about it. Like I said in the 80s, 90s, 2000s, and 2010s, I say in the 2020s: "You go, girl".

1
http://67.media.tumblr.com/acec880fb44bb4f6940dc7a5b0404bdc/tumblr_mr499yOX311rb53zlo1_1280.jpg
 
2
http://66.media.tumblr.com/565b9bf07819f10217e96fe252fd5938/tumblr_n94w95vSX61tcu92oo1_1280.jpg
 
3
http://65.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8oa5pRjrf1rrajnno1_1280.jpg
 
4
http://66.media.tumblr.com/557829aa6a6cc0096b142392f2dce053/tumblr_o6e08qooFV1rpsa4zo1_1280.jpg
 
5
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4ca2f70ef5977c93b1e221fd0f9fe974/tumblr_nkcfjn1WKi1si9dwuo1_1280.jpg
 
6
http://66.media.tumblr.com/6114257f37effacb7f63a1094a8577ae/tumblr_o0v7uvzFtN1sg130wo1_1280.jpg
 
7
http://65.media.tumblr.com/00e78ad40a1bf8d37606a4a2417166f2/tumblr_nc1xgeEE7z1sbydeco1_1280.jpg
 
8
http://67.media.tumblr.com/b5f03eb190aadc368697295d6183f8cf/tumblr_mniw7fwZpa1r9aj45o1_1280.jpg
 
9
http://67.media.tumblr.com/fc9094bda18782c73995325eef9c22c9/tumblr_ndgnbaDogy1sqtgrpo1_1280.jpg
 
10
http://65.media.tumblr.com/7b8f38c752ebc5b76c1359f06f5f3e10/tumblr_nw8m0sfnjd1rlvok5o1_1280.jpg
 
11
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4a3ae8b748f8c80483ae80332cee9e8b/tumblr_o4x8ru3Y3t1r6p4uho1_1280.jpg
 
12
http://67.media.tumblr.com/ce5784b8f55fc588f816a2d780515699/tumblr_o54tx4DGjp1u49xawo1_1280.jpg
 
13
http://66.media.tumblr.com/d68e071d187296e07f680828c5b31806/tumblr_o0c476vUla1s16pbgo1_1280.jpg
 
14
http://66.media.tumblr.com/5a8bb039593af1d1727d3bfa7327304b/tumblr_nuopfaF2kL1ubj4gdo1_1280.jpg
 
15
http://66.media.tumblr.com/6e524762ae654b31bbcb3289cd9fc411/tumblr_mlltmhDPhZ1s27ue7o1_1280.jpg
 
16
http://67.media.tumblr.com/08cf9cde3cd709f978ed43b10c732aee/tumblr_nww9czLkya1t043b4o1_1280.jpg
 
17
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0ba49e10d5945f527c1e6b9c3ddfb7df/tumblr_ndlr9yXFCt1r60ngyo1_1280.jpg
 
18
http://66.media.tumblr.com/22bfbaed29837eebb66d4748e9bc34e5/tumblr_o4y7zmHhbw1qbtj4fo1_1280.jpg
 
19
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c4b49e20c8705acadc1c0eca4e854838/tumblr_o52tkbFSpV1sza0qwo1_1280.jpg
 
20
http://66.media.tumblr.com/d9cf2218f74e86d0059138427779d64e/tumblr_nys20i4YbZ1rub8mlo1_1280.jpg