I think I have been discriminated against at work

[+ nycman]

Sounds like a mildly crappy place to work....that is...it sounds like most jobs.

 

My own two cents is that you don't have anything that even remotely resembles a case.

 

Asking for 3x your annual salary for percieved minor slights while employed....

that didn't bother you enough at the time to file complaints with HR....or to quit....

will only get you laughed at.

 

You didn't build a case while you were employed....and it's impossible to build one now.

 

Use your time and energy productively...stop eating sour grapes....and move on!

 

Look for a new job, a new life, volunteering, get a hobby....anything.

 

You're running down a dead end street based on your hurt feelings because you were fired.

 

Don't waste your time and don't give them the satisfaction of watching you make a fool of yourself.

Edited March 2, 2018 by nycman

[+ ArVaGuy]

I'm so sorry to hear of this situation. It sounds to me like you were discriminated on the basis of gender, age, and sexual orientation. In a right to work state it will be an uphill battle. I agree you should consult a qualified discrimination lawyer for proper advice.

 

I also suggest you check out the state of Nevada employment commission or equal opportunity office. Check out the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) website for guidance as well. These government entities are good sources for understanding your rights and how these cases can be resolved. The upside here is that this is free information and you can educate yourself for no cost.

 

Perhaps you can file a complaint with either entity. This would open a file on the company.

 

I was advised by a colleague friend in my company's legal department to never ever sign the separation agreement on first review. Request 24 hours to look it over and get legal advice if you can before signing. Most companies will play hardball on this but never hurts to try such a move.

 

Also post a comment on any and all of the corporate review sites like Glass Ceiling. You will find hundreds of ratings and comments about major companies and organizations. These insider reviews can be insightful for determining if a prospective employer is a good fit. And the added benefit is you could add a rating for your former employer.

[Tommygunzz]

Sounds like a mildly crappy place to work....that is...it sounds like most jobs.

 

My own two cents is that you don't have anything that even remotely resembles a case.

 

Asking for 3x your annual salary for percieved minor slights while employed....

that didn't bother you enough at the time to file complaints with HR....or to quit....

will only get you laughed at.

 

You didn't build a case while you were employed....and it's impossible to build one now.

 

Use your time and energy productively...stop eating sour grapes....and move on!

 

Look for a new job, a new life, volunteering, get a hobby....anything.

 

You're running down a dead end street based on your hurt feelings because you were fired.

 

Don't waste your time and don't give them the satisfaction of watching you make a fool of yourself.

 

Ouch. Thanks for your opinion. All comments are appreciated.

[Tommygunzz]

I'm so sorry to hear of this situation. It sounds to me like you were discriminated on the basis of gender, age, and sexual orientation. In a right to work state it will be an uphill battle. I agree you should consult a qualified discrimination lawyer for proper advice.

 

I also suggest you check out the state of Nevada employment commission or equal opportunity office. Check out the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) website for guidance as well. These government entities are good sources for understanding your rights and how these cases can be resolved. The upside here is that this is free information and you can educate yourself for no cost.

 

Perhaps you can file a complaint with either entity. This would open a file on the company.

 

I was advised by a colleague friend in my company's legal department to never ever sign the separation agreement on first review. Request 24 hours to look it over and get legal advice if you can before signing. Most companies will play hardball on this but never hurts to try such a move.

 

Also post a comment on any and all of the corporate review sites like Glass Ceiling. You will find hundreds of ratings and comments about major companies and organizations. These insider reviews can be insightful for determining if a prospective employer is a good fit. And the added benefit is you could add a rating for your former employer.

 

Thank you. Good comments. I thought I’d done a fair enough search when I decided to move my ass to Las Vegas, even though I’d advised many others to be wary of moving for a job. Btw I have moved myself many times during my career—WA OR AK NY TX NV. I’m done.

 

Tomorrow I’m emailing the VP contact and escalating it all up a notch. I’ll tell him again that I’ve been discriminated and harassed on the job. I’m ready to escalate to the CEO if the company and to the CEO of the investment company.

 

I’m not afraid of the consequences. I’d like a little justice, that’s all.

 

Thanks ArVaGuy. All comments appreciated.

[rvwnsd]

Here's my perspective...

 

...My boss's boss made a comment the first time that she met me that I was "nothing like she expected." I kind of laughed and pressed her why and she said that she didn't expect my gray hair and Dad-bod....

Not a particularly wise statement and could be construed as harassment or at the very least inappropriate and offensive.

 

...Same person continually addressed me (and others) as "Love". Like "How are you today Love?" "Yes, Love, what is it?"...

I would not classify this as harassment or discrimination. Inappropriate, maybe and it appears to have offended you. To me, relatively innocuous.

 

...My immediate supervisor told me the reaction of two other people who interviewed me. They didn't think I was "gay enough for (her boss). "You know how she likes her Gays."...

 

THAT is an inappropriate statement and, to me, discriminates on sexual orientation and gender. Wonder whether she would like any straight men?

 

...In a group conversation at work, one co-worker asked if I had ANY non-white friends....

 

If the topic of conversation was "non-white friends," I could see the relevance, but that is a topic that does not belong at work.

 

...Same co-worker asked to see my driver's license picture one day and checked out my birth date, then remarked that she had no idea I was that old....

 

Wow - that smacks of age bias. Quick question: why did you give her your license?

 

...Another co-worker, who knew I was Gay (I was open with everyone at work), made a comment to me one day in the hallway when I almost ran into her on my way to the men's room. Another man had just walked by us and I was checking him out. The co worker suggested that I should watch where I was going and not to be looking at other men...

 

I'm with your co-worker on this one. A man eyeing up another man in a work setting is as inappropriate as a man eyeing up a woman. Unwanted attention and leering apply to people of the same gender as well as people of opposite genders. In fact, in this year's version of my company's anti-harassment video one of the examples was a gay man paying unwanted attention to another gay man. If the other guy or the woman complained to ER about your behavior this might explain why you were fired. However, one is usually warned and coached/counseled first.

 

....This company is the world's largest in it's field. The workforce is diverse and inclusive, so I'm surprised at the comments that I received from people who should be more sensitive...

 

I am also surprised. However, in a recent training class at work we had a case study about a financial services firm (not the one I work for) where a New York-based employee observed behavior that appeared to be unethical and illegal, reported it to his supervisor, and was retaliated against. The employee was transferred to Chicago where he reported it to his new supervisor. The new supervisor immediately reported the incident to his management, the company's employee relations division, and its ethics office. As a result, the company had to disclose the behavior to a regulator who fined the company and the person in NYC who committed the bad behavior. The person who did the deed and the manager who did not take action were both fired.

 

That being said, I am surprised you did not consult with your company's employee relations team when the first offensive behavior occurred. If the company has a diverse and inclusive workforce it seems ER would have been interested in hearing about your experience. Is there a reason you did not say something?

 

FYI - I am simply curious as to why you didn't saying anything. I do not believe that not reporting the offensive behavior justifies it or the actions taken against you.

 

Did you happen to ask your former SVP what "performance issues" got you fired? For that matter, when you were fired did you ask? You mentioned that none were offered, but I am wondering whether they would have provided something if you had asked. Again, not excusing the vague reasons.

 

Nonetheless, it is unfortunate that you had this experience and I am sorry you had to endure it.

 

 

....I am not sure I would ever go as far as to actually take them to court. (They are based in another Country.) However, I would ask an attorney friend to write a letter intended to make them think I was serious. I am prepared to make comments in social media (Facebook, Instagram, blogs, Linked In, Glassdoor, etc.) to turn up the heat. I also don't want this to drag on too long, so I want them to make a decision quickly--let's say in a couple of weeks.

 

Advice?

 

In terms of seeking compensation, unless you file a complaint with the EEOC I don't see you receiving money unless you sue. If you ask them for compensation now they will likely say "no." They are also not likely to respond to threats of posting negative comments on social media. That can be construed as blackmail. Probably would not help if you chose to sue/file a complaint nor would it be helpful when finding another job. If you want to use social media to vent, I'd suggest checking out other comments first. If they receive consistently great comments about the workplace your negative comments will appear as sour grapes from a disgruntled former employer who was fired for cause. That's not to say the comments are without merit, just saying you might do yourself more harm than good.

Edited March 2, 2018 by rvwnsd

[ericwinters]

Hi Ben: Yes, Nevada is a right-to-work state and I was employed at-will. Even so, I didn't think that anti-discrimination covered by Federal law (age discrimination) would be included.

 

Some federal circuits are considering SEX to include orientation. Also if you are over 40 it could be to your advantage. I imagine state courts in NV would be just as horrific as TX, SC and so on ...

[Tommygunzz]

Some federal circuits are considering SEX to include orientation. Also if you are over 40 it could be to your advantage. I imagine state courts in NV would be just as horrific as TX, SC and so on ...

 

I am 63.

[+ sniper]

When you say the woman who hired you was let go after only 6 months, that almost makes it sound like it was a case of "cleaning house" because they didn't feel she was working out and she brought you in. It's not uncommon for the people an outside hire brings on to get canned when they do.

 

I think the other elements likely contributed but may not be primary. Or maybe they are. Just odds are it's not going to be sufficiently provable in court. Not sure how helpful the EEOC would be given the current president.

[top_guy_atl]

My advice and opinion: Let it go. Move on. Life is too short. You haven't described any systematic patterns of behavior that are actionable. Those in this thread telling you to pursue legal action are leading you down a road to frustration and ultimate defeat.

 

I'm also not advising that you forget about this experience. You should use it as an opportunity to look at your own behavior to see if there was anything you could do differently in the future.

 

In a long career, you will probably have a few places on your resume that might be considered bad choices as you look back. We all have them. Bad employment experiences (and job interviews as well) can be learning experiences that you can take with you in the future. Take some time to look back at the entire interaction with this company, including your initial interview. Were there any red flags that you see now that didn't stand out at the time? Are there any questions you could have asked in the interview that would help you avoid this type of situation again?

 

One thing that stood out to me in your OP was that you said "I was open with everyone at work". While I would never advise anyone to be in the closet, perhaps being too open, too soon, with everyone made other people uncomfortable. You should be VERY selective about the co-workers you choose to confide in about the personal details of your life. Remember, you're there to work, not socialize. I know that others will disagree, but I strongly recommend keeping personal life separate from professional life. I received this advice from a straight friend years ago and have repeated it to straight friends as well as gay friends and it has served me well. For the majority of your co-workers, you should not reveal that you're gay. It's none of their business and it has nothing to do with the work you're there to do. It's just not professional. They're co-workers, not friends. Don't blur those boundaries. And don't say "If they have a problem with me being gay, it's their problem." No, it's YOUR problem because you have to work with them. The conversations with co-workers you've described sound inappropriate for the workplace, to me. Don't participate. Maintaining your professional reputation should be one of your highest priorities. I feel this would work for you in the future, especially if you feel your co-workers were part of this discrimination.

 

One thing I didn't see in your OP was how you viewed your own job performance and the value you feel you added to the company. They didn't discuss any performance issues with you in 7 months. Even 3 months is too long to go without any feedback on your performance. Some companies don't do regular performance reviews or do them badly. Did you ever ask your supervisor for a performance review, either formal or casual? If it's not a regular thing in this company to have one-on-one meetings with your supervisor to discuss these things, be proactive and ask for it. Ask "How am I doing?", "What can I do better?". Be prepared for a negative response, but use it to modify your own behavior. The fact that you're asking will be viewed positively by your supervisor.

 

Finally, do NOT make any negative comments on social media. This will not hurt the company and can only come back to bite you in the future. It's common now for employers to do social media searches when hiring prospective new employees. This advice especially true if you're not yet ready to put an end to your career and head blissfully into world of retirement.

 

That's my advice for anyone building a career. For you, put a period on this, but use it as a learning experience for the future. You can take something positive from this experience if you're honest with yourself as you think about these 7 months. And I apologize if I read anything between the lines that's just not there.

[+ nycman]

My advice and opinion: Let it go. Move on. Life is too short. You haven't described any systematic patterns of behavior that are actionable. Those in this thread telling you to pursue legal action are leading you down a road to frustration and ultimate defeat.

 

I'm also not advising that you forget about this experience. You should use it as an opportunity to look at your own behavior to see if there was anything you could do differently in the future.

 

In a long career, you will probably have a few places on your resume that might be considered bad choices as you look back. We all have them. Bad employment experiences (and job interviews as well) can be learning experiences that you can take with you in the future. Take some time to look back at the entire interaction with this company, including your initial interview. Were there any red flags that you see now that didn't stand out at the time? Are there any questions you could have asked in the interview that would help you avoid this type of situation again?

 

One thing that stood out to me in your OP was that you said "I was open with everyone at work". While I would never advise anyone to be in the closet, perhaps being too open, too soon, with everyone made other people uncomfortable. You should be VERY selective about the co-workers you choose to confide in about the personal details of your life. Remember, you're there to work, not socialize. I know that others will disagree, but I strongly recommend keeping personal life separate from professional life. I received this advice from a straight friend years ago and have repeated it to straight friends as well as gay friends and it has served me well. For the majority of your co-workers, you should not reveal that you're gay. It's none of their business and it has nothing to do with the work you're there to do. It's just not professional. They're co-workers, not friends. Don't blur those boundaries. And don't say "If they have a problem with me being gay, it's their problem." No, it's YOUR problem because you have to work with them. The conversations with co-workers you've described sound inappropriate for the workplace, to me. Don't participate. Maintaining your professional reputation should be one of your highest priorities. I feel this would work for you in the future, especially if you feel your co-workers were part of this discrimination.

 

One thing I didn't see in your OP was how you viewed your own job performance and the value you feel you added to the company. They didn't discuss any performance issues with you in 7 months. Even 3 months is too long to go without any feedback on your performance. Some companies don't do regular performance reviews or do them badly. Did you ever ask your supervisor for a performance review, either formal or casual? If it's not a regular thing in this company to have one-on-one meetings with your supervisor to discuss these things, be proactive and ask for it. Ask "How am I doing?", "What can I do better?". Be prepared for a negative response, but use it to modify your own behavior. The fact that you're asking will be viewed positively by your supervisor.

 

Finally, do NOT make any negative comments on social media. This will not hurt the company and can only come back to bite you in the future. It's common now for employers to do social media searches when hiring prospective new employees. This advice especially true if you're not yet ready to put an end to your career and head blissfully into world of retirement.

 

That's my advice for anyone building a career. For you, put a period on this, but use it as a learning experience for the future. You can take something positive from this experience if you're honest with yourself as you think about these 7 months. And I apologize if I read anything between the lines that's just not there.

Can I triple "like" a post?

 

Such a well thought out, caring, and professional post.

 

When it come to being "out" at work...it's tricky. I believe we owe it to ourselves and

the next generation not to hide who we are. At the same time, my sexual preference has

little impact on my ability to do my job. It should be ZERO impact...but we are humans

at the end of the day.

 

Everyone at work knows I'm gay. It's not a secret and I treat it as a non-issue. I don't paste

Pride flags all over my work space...but the NRA gun toting right wing nut next to me ....

doesn't post his crap on the walls either. We are co-workers, who respect each other.

 

If it were any other way...I'd find another place to work.

 

I don't go to work to make friends. I go to work to get my job done (which I love) and to

make money (which allows me to do other things that I love). Discrimination can be subtle

and pervasive, but you can also start tilting at windmills. Careers have ups, downs, and

many unforeseen turns. Don't let a bump in the road...send you into a tailspin.

[rvwnsd]

...One thing that stood out to me in your OP was that you said "I was open with everyone at work". While I would never advise anyone to be in the closet, perhaps being too open, too soon, with everyone made other people uncomfortable. You should be VERY selective about the co-workers you choose to confide in about the personal details of your life. Remember, you're there to work, not socialize. I know that others will disagree, but I strongly recommend keeping personal life separate from professional life. I received this advice from a straight friend years ago and have repeated it to straight friends as well as gay friends and it has served me well. For the majority of your co-workers, you should not reveal that you're gay. It's none of their business and it has nothing to do with the work you're there to do. It's just not professional. They're co-workers, not friends. Don't blur those boundaries. And don't say "If they have a problem with me being gay, it's their problem." No, it's YOUR problem because you have to work with them. The conversations with co-workers you've described sound inappropriate for the workplace, to me. Don't participate. Maintaining your professional reputation should be one of your highest priorities. I feel this would work for you in the future, especially if you feel your co-workers were part of this discrimination....

I neither completely agree not completely disagree with this comment, mainly because I'm not completely sure what you are trying to say nor am I sure what the OP meant when saying "I was open with everyone at work."

 

I consider myself to be "out" and "open" at work. I haven't made a formal announcement, but I was open about my previous volunteer work as the facilitator of a coming out group and, when in a relationship, would discuss what my partner and I did on the weekends. My group managing director and I have discussed the notion of me carving out work time to plan and implement a coming out group in my current city which could lead toward starting an LGBT center. That said, I don't introduce myself as "Rvwnsd, Homosexual Director of Operations."

 

In terms of being "open" or "out" at work, my advice to members of our group was this: do what feels right to you. For me and for many colleagues, being open and out means having the same types of conversations our heterosexual colleagues had. What we did with our spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends/friends/kids/neices/nephews; new restaurants we tried; TV programs we watched and so forth. A female colleague recently got married. We met her wife and she refers to her as such. No one bats an eye. However, it is completely inappropriate for anyone, regardless of sexual identity or gender, to discuss pursuits of a sexual nature or to pay unwanted attention (such as leering, checking them out, touching, and kissing) to colleagues. Period.

 

When a member of our group asked the group for advice on what to do about a male co-worker he found to be attractive we almost universally said "nothing." Two members, one very young and the other very elderly, asked the guy what he would think of a man checking out a female co-worker. The member who asked the question got the point.