Cumming with someone else

[gallahadesquire]

I figured I'd post this where the more professional of you might find it.

 

I have never cum with someone else. Even in a mutual J/O session (which have been fewer) or in some of the hottest sex I've ever had. I'm just not wired that way.

 

My ED doesn't help that at all, needless to say.

 

Anyone have suggestions for how to "get off" with someone else doing the work? I've learned to make others happy, and I've been told I give an incredible blow job.

 

Thanks for listening.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

First of all, relax, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If youre having performance anxiety that is going to block your success. Second, try a good prostate massage session with someone who REALLY knows what they’re doing. Your ED will be completely irrelevant, and you can perhaps cum much more forcefully than you ever have in your LIFE! (Assuming you are new to prostate stimulation...) No hard-on required, and the prostate stimulation, if performed by someone talented, will really take control of the timing of your orgasm completely out of your hands...

[+ nycman]

I have never cum with someone else.

Honestly, I find this fascinating.

 

I assume you can get off solo when you’re alone?

 

If so, that pretty much rules out your plumbing as the

source of your problem and points to your brain as the

“problem” organ.

 

I’d suggest hiring one of the older and more experienced

escorts listed here. Ones that specialize in sexual health

and/or healing. You need someone who’s willing to take

the time and effort required to get your cock out from

under the control of your repressive brain.

 

As we’ve seen here...sometimes painfully....the cock is

always the stronger organ....if he’s given 1/2 a chance.

 

I predict once you manage to get off with another man

2-3 times...the “issue” will gradually solve itself. It’s

going to take long hard work...both mentally and physically

....but come on....it’s the most fun homework assignment

you’re EVER going to get!

[Guest Listen for the pop]

I figured I'd post this where the more professional of you might find it.

 

I have never cum with someone else. Even in a mutual J/O session (which have been fewer) or in some of the hottest sex I've ever had. I'm just not wired that way.

 

My ED doesn't help that at all, needless to say.

 

Anyone have suggestions for how to "get off" with someone else doing the work? I've learned to make others happy, and I've been told I give an incredible blow job.

 

Thanks for listening.

OMG!!! I seriously thought I was alone in this! I haven’t cum in front of someone since I was 22! I’m now 45! I have always known it’s a mental thing. Being a dedicated bottom, I have never made it a priority to cum either. I also have ED. Most of that is due to anti-depressants, and one of them makes it even harder to cum. I have recently been trying to train myself to cum at least 3-4 times a week. I got one of those Doc Johnson masturbator sleeve things. I feel like an idiot using it, but damned if it doesn’t work! Of course porn helps. I have 1,oo1 dildos, vibrators and prostate stimulators. I’m REALLY nervous because I’ve hired again for this week and I don’t want to say it’s important for me to cum. It’s an overnight, so hopefully I can get up the nerve to ask for some help. Thank you for posting this!!!

[+ Eric Hassan]

I figured I'd post this where the more professional of you might find it.

 

I have never cum with someone else. Even in a mutual J/O session (which have been fewer) or in some of the hottest sex I've ever had. I'm just not wired that way.

 

My ED doesn't help that at all, needless to say.

 

Anyone have suggestions for how to "get off" with someone else doing the work? I've learned to make others happy, and I've been told I give an incredible blow job.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

This is not as uncommon as you think - you're not alone.

 

Your post brought up a lot of questions for me, and I'd want some more information before I start to throw out my thoughts. I feel like that back and forth could take place over PM, if you're interested. It's ok if you're not, too.

 

But back to you not being alone. There are many people who have ED to some degree or another, and many men who can't cum ever, or with others, or only occasionally, or whatever.

 

The great news is that sex is much more than a hard cock and a cumshot. Any guy who's ever had trouble getting it up or getting it off - even once - has had to deal with the confusion, frustration, anxiety, what-the-fuck-ness, depression, anger and so on. If we have honest, upfront conversations with each other, we can take some of those negative feelings and look for some positivity - we can find ways to relax about it a little, find buddies to vent with, and explore all the other ways we can experience sex and sexual satisfaction. Even if you can get it up and get it off, it's really fun to try doing things that are sexual without thinking about whether or not you're hard, or even intentionally not cumming.

[+ freecahill1965]

You are not alone at all. I am a brain tumor that I am being treated for. The meds sometimes make it hard for me to cum. Both Dominiking and Wickedboy have spent their own time trying to do the impossible. I did not complain. Having someone suck your dick in every way possible way for long periods of time feels awesome weather you cum or not.

Edited February 27, 2018 by freecahill1965

[+ ArVaGuy]

Recently, I had a prostate and bladder cancer scare during the holiday season. After a few tests the symptoms turned out not to be cancer related. Huge relief.

 

I learned during this test series that an enlarged prostate can impede ejaculaton. Longer periods of stimulation may be needed to cause a release.

 

My cancer scare turned out to be a ruptured blood vessel in the prostate. This caused nearly all the symptoms of prostate cancer. It eventually healed itself. A rupture can be caused anal sex, vigorous athletic activity, and even extended period sitting during a long flight. (I had just returned from an international trip btw.)

 

I’ve dealt with the problem of not cumming with a partner by abstaining for a few days prior to a scheduled hire. This sometimes builds up enough tension that ejaculaton is a bit easier.

[MartyB]

I figured I'd post this where the more professional of you might find it.

 

I have never cum with someone else. Even in a mutual J/O session (which have been fewer) or in some of the hottest sex I've ever had. I'm just not wired that way.

 

My ED doesn't help that at all, needless to say.

 

Anyone have suggestions for how to "get off" with someone else doing the work? I've learned to make others happy, and I've been told I give an incredible blow job.

 

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for posting this. I admire your honesty. This board allows us to air things we couldn't anywhere else. At this point in my life my cum shots don't hit the ceiling like when I was in college. Feels the same but it's a reality. I've gotten past that and enjoy the sex and let go.

[Reluctant Daddy]

I think because I went without sex for such a long period, I'm well making up for it. I get hard the minute I'm with a partner. I cum easily (sometimes a little too easily), and I can cum multiple times with the right person. I think, at least for me, it's being incredibly turned on by a partner and wanting to please them. That, in turn, pleases me.

[+ JEC]

While I don't have difficulty in this area, I agree with the suggestions so far

- Communicating up front this is part of the experience you are looking for. Have them explain how they have dealt with this in the past.

- Finding someone patient who really wants to make it happen for you - this is where the more experienced guys probably rate

- Good communication what's working and not for you and a provider who listens and responds.

- I wonder if any toys might help? Anal vibrator, or vibrator on the balls, taint or some vibrators which have a dick ring? Masturbation sleeve / fleshlight?

- There are meds for ED....assume you know that and have taken care of that...there's lots of info and opinions out there which ones work better (to some extent depends on your own physiology)

- do some situations get you off more than others? Nothing gets me going like a tea bag hanging in my teacup for example

 

Thanks for being so open/honest....hope the feedback helps you reach your "nirvana"

[Guest Listen for the pop]

While I don't have difficulty in this area, I agree with the suggestions so far

- Communicating up front this is part of the experience you are looking for. Have them explain how they have dealt with this in the past.

- Finding someone patient who really wants to make it happen for you - this is where the more experienced guys probably rate

- Good communication what's working and not for you and a provider who listens and responds.

- I wonder if any toys might help? Anal vibrator, or vibrator on the balls, taint or some vibrators which have a dick ring? Masturbation sleeve / fleshlight?

- There are meds for ED....assume you know that and have taken care of that...there's lots of info and opinions out there which ones work better (to some extent depends on your own physiology)

- do some situations get you off more than others? Nothing gets me going like a tea bag hanging in my teacup for example

 

Thanks for being so open/honest....hope the feedback helps you reach your "nirvana"

Tea bag in a teacup! LOL classic! I’ll remember THAT for a long time! Thanks for the imagery!

[+ JEC]

PS are you willing to try 420? In "legal" states you can now get this in the form of cookies, rice krispy treats etc....can be a real aphrodisiac.

[Guest Listen for the pop]

PS are you willing to try 420? In "legal" states you can now get this in the form of cookies, rice krispy treats etc....can be a real aphrodisiac.

Willing to try... LOL the “try” ship sailed long long ago! LMAO This is not a legal state though. It was so long ago since I have done that I wouldn’t have a clue on who to call even if I wanted to. I don’t think I’ll have trouble getting “in the mood.” I am going to try going in with no expectations anyway. Just a good time with a hot guy.

[+ Reisr30]

My problem is I tend to cum too fast and once I do I tend to want to be alone.

 

Also I’ve noticed the companions I have met never cum during our meetings. That always makes me a bit sad but I never say anything because I don’t want to sound demanding...

[+ freecahill1965]

My problem is I tend to cum too fast and once I do I tend to want to be alone.

 

Also I’ve noticed the companions I have met never cum during our meetings. That always makes me a bit sad but I never say anything because I don’t want to sound demanding...

You can ask them to cum as part of the session. Once in a while I will ask.

[+ JEC]

My problem is I tend to cum too fast and once I do I tend to want to be alone.

 

Also I’ve noticed the companions I have met never cum during our meetings. That always makes me a bit sad but I never say anything because I don’t want to sound demanding...

It's not demanding, you are paying dearly to get the experience you want. Agree with @freecahill1965 be clear about what you want from your session before....and escort worth their salt will work hard to provide it. Take your time...and have fun!

[+ Tarte Gogo]

My problem is I tend to cum too fast and once I do I tend to want to be alone.

I had that issue when I was first hiring or doing hookups, and then I found that isn’t the case if the guy is stunningly beautiful (which usually means expensive). So it was an issue when the guy was only so-so (I started hiring on the cheaper side).

 

With a stunning guy that keeps very clean, I could hug him and caress his body for a good 30 minutes after coming without feeling any boredom, or wanting to be left alone.

[TruthBTold]

I discussed part of this in another post and I apologize for doing so.

Because of my medical condition and medications because of my condition it is hard for me to cum with another person. The medications are similar to ones that they prescribe for depression. I have no problem cumming by masturbation once or twice a day (tho the medication has made the "return" much less than I was used to.) The gentleman I hire worked really hard to make me cum by being fucked over many, many years. He has told me that he felt bad that he has been able to do so. Then finally out of the blue it was able to happen but only by jacking off. I certainly was OK with that. It was tremendous to feel connected, even if it was just by masturbation. Perhaps it is too much to ask that he come during the session no matter what and no matter how it happens but that is what I like. I do not complain how it happens, just that he make himself cum. He does not seem to mind.

[+ saminseattle]

The mind-body connection when it comes to organism is fascinating but inexplicable to me. I’ve just learned of a condition called Traumatic Masturbation Syndrome, or TMS, which comes from masturbating in the prone, facing down position, to the point that this is the only way orgasm is achievable. You could say that this condition, which I’d never heard of until a week ago, is actually how (in a very indirect way) I ended up on this forum. Apparently, an inability to reach orgasm in the presence of another is also commonly associated with this condition, which has both physical and psychological components. http://www.healthystrokes.com/

[+ VictorPowers]

I had that issue when I was first hiring or doing hookups, and then I found that isn’t the case if the guy is stunningly beautiful (which usually means expensive). So it was an issue when the guy was only so-so (I started hiring on the cheaper side).

 

With a stunning guy that keeps very clean, I could hug him and caress his body for a good 30 minutes after coming without feeling any boredom, or wanting to be left alone.

I'll interpret this as a compliment

[mike carey]

I'll interpret this as a compliment

Of course! *Pours bottles of GB over Victor*

[+ OliverSaks]

The mind-body connection when it comes to organism is fascinating but inexplicable to me. I’ve just learned of a condition called Traumatic Masturbation Syndrome, or TMS, which comes from masturbating in the prone, facing down position, to the point that this is the only way orgasm is achievable. You could say that this condition, which I’d never heard of until a week ago, is actually how (in a very indirect way) I ended up on this forum. Apparently, an inability to reach orgasm in the presence of another is also commonly associated with this condition, which has both physical and psychological components. http://www.healthystrokes.com/

Just wanna say, TMS is NOT a recognized medical condition (in the establishment) and people have been masturbating in a variety of ways for centuries... probably - LOTS of men have ED and issues with moving to playing with partners, to be fair, but this is the pseudo-est of psychobabblery

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-traumatic-mastubatory-syndrome-How-is-it-treated

 

Inventing a diagnosis from a total of four case reports would not be considered kosher. I hope that some information from your searching has been helpful to you as a sexual being, and I’m not trying to diminish your experience, and at the same time, I take issue with bad science and snake oilists.

[+ saminseattle]

Just wanna say, TMS is NOT a recognized medical condition (in the establishment) and people have been masturbating in a variety of ways for centuries... probably - LOTS of men have ED and issues with moving to playing with partners, to be fair, but this is the pseudo-est of psychobabblery

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-traumatic-mastubatory-syndrome-How-is-it-treated

 

Inventing a diagnosis from a total of four case reports would not be considered kosher. I hope that some information from your searching has been helpful to you as a sexual being, and I’m not trying to diminish your experience, and at the same time, I take issue with bad science and snake oilists.

 

I should have mentioned that it is a controversial theory. Obviously, Nurse Meissner from Quora.com is a skeptic, but beyond that I am aware that many people are critical of the idea for one reason or another. Personally, I am not aware of any real research supporting it or refuting it. All I can say is that I have some limited, purely anecdotal, reason to believe there may be something to it, at least in some cases. And I mentioned it in this thread because in the case I recently learned of, the two things (masturbating exclusively in the prone position and an inability to achieve organism in the presence of another) appeared to be related to each other, or, at least, the treatment for one correlated with a breakthrough in the other, after more than a decade of frustration.

Edited March 16, 2018 by saminseattle

[+ HornyRetiree]

Thanks for posting this. I admire your honesty. This board allows us to air things we couldn't anywhere else. At this point in my life my cum shots don't hit the ceiling like when I was in college. Feels the same but it's a reality. I've gotten past that and enjoy the sex and let go.

 

Same here, I no longer put it over my shoulder and hit the headboard or the wall. AND ejaculate volume is greatly reduced. Same great orgasm sensations but it takes a while for all the semen to exit.

 

IF I am extremely excited and turned on as I was recently during an interactive massage, the first spurt will shoot a short (very) distance.