Crossing the line with long-term therapist?

[+ BritSD]

I have been seeing a therapist for a few years now and we have always respected each other's boundaries. We've always been respectful of each other. During my last visit, our session went from our normal play to full on. Without going into details, it felt more like an escort session than a massage session. At the end of our session, we laid there for about 15 minutes holding each other.

 

I'm about to make another appointment and I am wondering should i talk to him about it or ignore it? I want to know if it's a one time thing or not? As much as I would love that sort of session on the regular, I want to make sure we don't change the dynamics of our working relationship. I rather have him for a great massage over anything else.

 

Any advice?

[Guy Fawkes]

Your over thinking it.

[+ kov78]

Make your appointment as usual. Doing so will show that nothing has scares you off. If something more happens again great, if it doesn’t ... great. Then You still have the same ole dynamic.

[mike carey]

I recognise that this is the Spa. That means it's about masseurs. But when someone says things about their interactions with a therapist, I don't read masseur, I read psych. A 'therapist' deals with your 'issues'. If those issues are knots in your muscles, it's a fucking masseur that treats it, not a 'therapist'. If you're going to drop part of 'massage therapist' it's the therapist part, not the massage part that gets dropped. *Ends rant*

[+ BritSD]

I recognise that this is the Spa. That means it's about masseurs. But when someone says things about their interactions with a therapist, I don't read masseur, I read psych. A 'therapist' deals with your 'issues'. If those issues are knots in your muscles, it's a fucking masseur that treats it, not a 'therapist'. If you're going to drop part of 'massage therapist' it's the therapist part, not the massage part that gets dropped. *Ends rant*

Calm down, bro. Why are you coming at me so hard? It's a forum, not a classroom lesson. You're definitely overthinking this one. Like, seriously.

[mike carey]

Calm down, bro. Why are you coming at me so hard? It's a forum, not a classroom lesson. You're definitely overthinking this one. Like, seriously.

I'm calm, and it wasn't directed at you specifically! It's something that I've seen frequently, and I always think they mean psychological or similar therapy rather than massage therapy when I first read it. If someone says they are going to see their therapist, masseur is not the first type of therapist I think of, that's all. I characterised what I said as a rant for a reason!

[+ EVdude]

Any advice?

See a therapist!

 

Sorry, couldn’t help myself. But seriously, it’s most likely that you’re not the first. Make another appointment.

[Dmitri]

I have been seeing a therapist for a few years now and we have always respected each other's boundaries. We've always been respectful of each other. During my last visit, our session went from our normal play to full on. Without going into details, it felt more like an escort session than a massage session. At the end of our session, we laid there for about 15 minutes holding each other.

 

I'm about to make another appointment and I am wondering should i talk to him about it or ignore it? I want to know if it's a one time thing or not? As much as I would love that sort of session on the regular, I want to make sure we don't change the dynamics of our working relationship. I rather have him for a great massage over anything else.

 

Any advice?

 

You said you have been going to him for a few years. By the time I have gone to ANY masseur for a few years we are on a comfortable, friendly basis. Which means that after going to the same guy for that long you should be able to discuss this freely with him. What you wrote in your post is a question you should be able to pose to him, after knowing him for that long. You asked in your post if you should talk to him. YES! You are not a mind reader. Ask him, and discuss this with him. He has the answers to your questions.....not the forum members.

Edited February 18, 2018 by Dmitri

[+ sync]

When making your next appointment, you might segue into it by mentioning how much you "appreciated and benefited" from the range of his technique during your last appointment. Be prepared for the possibility of an upward price-point change.

[longtime lurker]

I'm about to make another appointment and I am wondering should i talk to him about it or ignore it?

I am so sorry, but I can't help but comment here.

 

Talk to him about "it".

 

Do not ignore "it". To ignore "it" is to suggest "it" didn't mean anything to you and you didn't care about "it".

 

Just tell him how much you enjoyed "it" during your last session, but hope he doesn't feel obligated to repeat "it" if he is not in the mood and that you fully understand that "it" is not experienced by just any other client of his. You will be happy with any time you spend with him even if it doesn't involve "it". Nonetheless you still want to thank him for "it" because "it" gave you this wonderful after glow and provided you the strength to endure the next few weeks of mundane life. He made "it" very special to you.

Edited February 18, 2018 by longtime lurker

[NYMassageAddict]

I’ll be the contrarian here. He may have had a moment. He felt like deepening the connection then on a spur of the moment. But to talk about “it” removes the spontaneity of the moment and may disturb him.

 

I say you go with the original expectation of massage and standard fun. If “it” happens again be thankful. But he’s the one in charge.

 

Your appearance back after the last one indicates you weren’t unhappy it happened.

[rvwnsd]

I agree with @Guy Fawkes and @NYMassageAddict. Just make the appointment and see what happens.

[longtime lurker]

Well... we don’t know the two involved personally and are speculating a lot with our suggestions.

[samK]

I am so sorry, but I can't help but comment here.

 

Talk to him about "it".

 

Do not ignore "it". To ignore "it" is to suggest "it" didn't mean anything to you and you didn't care about "it".

 

Just tell him how much you enjoyed "it" during your last session, but hope he doesn't feel obligated to repeat "it" if he is not in the mood and that you fully understand that "it" is not experienced by just any other client of his. You will be happy with any time you spend with him even if it doesn't involve "it". Nonetheless you still want to thank him for "it" because "it" gave you this wonderful after glow and provided you the strength to endure the next few weeks of mundane life. He made "it" very special to you.

 

If I have a great massage "therapist" and after some years pass and something sexual happened... I would have to talk about "it" before I hire again, for so many reasons.

 

I am not a fan of flirting, playing games or any kind of cat & mouse BS. So for me, clear and direct communication is has always worked best in my life... then I make the best decisions for myself. This also keeps you from going down any rabbit holes or such.

 

But for me personally, a massage is about Me relaxing- healing & my over all health. Being naked creates an intimate setting, but it is still a massage and nothing more. (I am one who uses this forum to weed out the massuers who are offering rub & tugs)

 

Being a gay male, I get it that something could easily happen with one or more naked people are in a room.... but then that is sex and not a massage. So if lines have been crossed only you know what it is that you want from him and clearly you have choices. (i dated my massage therapist once - woof). Meaning... if you want him as a masseur - have the talk. If you want him as a relationship.... have the talk. Just remember that "shoe makers kids, go without shoes".... meaning you don't get both.

 

On the other hand, If you want him as a masseur and a hook-up.... then have that talk. He will thank you for it... and he might even that talk once you reach out to him. There is a chance that if you are struggling with this, So is he.

 

Remember, if it is a massage with a hook-up, as long as you do not pay extra for the hook-up part of the session- you are doing nothing illegal and it is just becomes a win-win for both of you. There is obviously some attraction there and if it works, let it, but talk about "it" or be prepared to talk about "it".

[samK]

I recognise that this is the Spa. That means it's about masseurs. But when someone says things about their interactions with a therapist, I don't read masseur, I read psych. A 'therapist' deals with your 'issues'. If those issues are knots in your muscles, it's a fucking masseur that treats it, not a 'therapist'. If you're going to drop part of 'massage therapist' it's the therapist part, not the massage part that gets dropped. *Ends rant*

Darling, I believe use the word "Therapist" here, because they are trying to separate the person from a masseur or rub & tug expert. Of course, everyone can read into words on a forum, email or text message... but sometimes we need to let it go... this is a safe space and ranting would be for other forums, FB or Twitter, etc...

 

We are all here for each other, in one way or anyone. Of course you are free to Rant... but it is not the focus of why we are all here.

 

On a funny note, ever time I see "Therapist".... I think of that SNL skit were during the game show episode ... Sean Connery character keeps call Therapist - "The Rapist" So find friendship and understanding here and hopefully some fun too. -xx

[+ BritSD]

Thanks everyone. I’ll just book it and bring up the subject directly and then move forward