How to ask a delicate question?

[youngboldone]

There is a local stripper/performer that I am absolutely smitten with. I've gone to several of his shows and have gotten to know him a little bit. We've even become Facebook friends. I really want to ask him if he's open to escorting on the side because I would love to experience more of him one on one. I'm wondering how to ask this, though, without coming off as offensive. I sort of broached the topic one time with him by telling him there was something I wanted to ask him but was afraid to because I didn't want to offend him. He told me since his stripper name is "Trouble" there isn't anything I could ask that would offend him.

 

Any advice? I'm assuming I should ask him in person and not on Facebook since, unfortunately, escorting is illegal.

[+ Avalon]

Why not ask him if he wants a "date"? He can read between the lines.

[+ friendofsheila]

Him telling you that his nickname is "Trouble" and what he added should say that he's probably been asked this before.

 

I recall asking a stripper at Nob Hill Theater when he was giving me a lapdance "do you do escort work?" He paused for a moment, then said "yes." So it looked like he was a little apprehensive to hear the question, but I doubt it surprised him since he also did porn.

 

Your guy sounds like I'd ask him the next time I see him.

 

Good luck YBO!

[+ azdr0710]

continue occasionally hanging out at the strip club when he's working and chat him up in a very casual way when there.....don't hog him when there, but tip, of course

 

DO NOT continuously make FB posts gushing and fawning all over him (if you even are)......don't look creepy or weird.....be professional, polite, clean, groomed, respectful.....

 

it's entirely fine to ask him, "do you accept private meets outside the club?"......I usually avoid words like "escort" in this context just to keep it light and friendly.....again, avoid appearing to be obsessed and infatuated....keep it friendly and easy......depending on his answer to the question, just proceed as normal.....don't get too stalker-ish and don't take it too seriously!

[TruthBTold]

continue occasionally hanging out at the strip club when he's working and chat him up in a very casual way when there.....don't hog him when there, but tip, of course

DO NOT continuously make FB posts gushing and fawning all over him (if you even are)......don't look creepy or weird.....be professional, polite, clean, groomed, respectful.....

it's entirely fine to ask him, "do you accept private meets outside the club?"......I usually avoid words like "escort" in this context just to keep it light and friendly.....again, avoid appearing to be obsessed and infatuated....keep it friendly and easy......depending on his answer to the question, just proceed as normal.....don't get too stalker-ish and don't take it too seriously!

 

Totally agree. Also, "escort" language would make sure that he knows that you are not any kind of law enforcement or at least there is less of a likelihood. "Do you escort?" is getting close, even though there was no money involved.

[Bearofdistinction]

Totally agree. Also, "escort" language would make sure that he knows that you are not any kind of law enforcement or at least there is less of a likelihood. "Do you escort?" is getting close, even though there was no money involved.

 

Hello I am US Senator Roy Moore from the Great State of Abbylama - Why dont you come see my collection of long rods and lets talk about your future as a Senate Stuffer

[+ poolboy48220]

My usual approach is to ask the guy, after a private dance, if he ever sees guys outside the club. They've never acted offended when I said that, a few have declined but most have said yes.

[ericwinters]

Thanks for posting this. What about a twist like this... Suppose there is a hunky handsome sales guy at Nordstrom or Saxs... How would you bring this up in the retail environment? Or is that just too risky.

[TruthBTold]

Thanks for posting this. What about a twist like this... Suppose there is a hunky handsome sales guy at Nordstrom or Saxs... How would you bring this up in the retail environment? Or is that just too risky.

 

If he is working at a retail store there is definitely less risk that he is law enforcement. However, unless you are as good-looking as he is or whatever attracts you to him, there is a lot more risk that he would simply turn you down. You can't be really explicit about sex for money because he could report you but if you just ask him out on a date then there is more of a chance that he will say, "No."

[Epigonos]

I'm very big on the straight forward approach. If he is a dancer in a strip club he will certainly have been asked about private meeting in the past and thus shouldn't be offended. I don't tend to ask if he escorts but rather if he meets guys privately outside the club. I hooked up with a dancers at one of the Adonis Nude Events that way.

I'm way to cautious and WAY too old to ever approach a guy working in a department store in the above manner. If, however, I were a lot better looking than I am and a LOT younger than I am I might ask him for a date and see what happens.

Edited December 5, 2017 by Epigonos

[LaffingBear]

There is a local stripper/performer that I am absolutely smitten with. I've gone to several of his shows and have gotten to know him a little bit.....

 

Any advice? I'm assuming I should ask him in person and not on Facebook since, unfortunately, escorting is illegal.

For clarification.... what kind of strip show? And where?

 

If its a gay venue, and lapdances are part of the performances... if private shows happen.... then arrange for a private. If hes doing a lapdance, just ask quietly if hes available for privates outside the club. Even if he says no, he won't be offended. I've done this, and it worked 2-3 times.... got me polite "no" many others.

 

If its strictly performance venue, like Thunder from Down Under, Chippendales, etc.. if dancers never leave the stage, if there are abolutely no private shows... be content to be friendly. I wouldnt request more unless I got to kniw him very well.

 

Creep alert: if a little obsessed.... try reverse search on his phone number or pictures. You may find ads that address your desires. Its a creepy thing to do, but... somtimes guys cant help being motivated by the crotch.

[youngboldone]

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies, guys. A little more context: this guy dances/strips in several local gay bars. None of the bars in my state allow for private lap dances or private shows, but after the strippers perform they come out and "mingle" in the crowd for tips. Depending on how much you tip them, they will push the boundaries accordingly, though the furthest I've ever seen them go is allow you to grope them inside their underwear. It's all rather tame, but it is what it is considering our prudish laws.

 

I am encouraged by all of the comments indicating that I'm not wildly off track for even considering asking him. In one of the bars, I had previously asked if he did "private one on ones". My intent was to find out if he was willing to meet me privately outside the club, but I guess I wasn't direct enough because he responded that the club didn't have a space for that. But then he said, rather cryptically, something to the effect of "But we can make that happen sometime for sure." He then went on to talk about the possibility of getting couches in the bar to allow for something more private. So I'm not sure he really understood what it was I was asking.

 

I think I like the wording, "Do you ever meet guys privately outside the club?" To me, there's no ambiguity what I'm asking. The worst he could say is no, right?

[youngboldone]

For clarification.... what kind of strip show? And where?

 

If its a gay venue, and lapdances are part of the performances... if private shows happen.... then arrange for a private. If hes doing a lapdance, just ask quietly if hes available for privates outside the club. Even if he says no, he won't be offended. I've done this, and it worked 2-3 times.... got me polite "no" many others.

 

If its strictly performance venue, like Thunder from Down Under, Chippendales, etc.. if dancers never leave the stage, if there are abolutely no private shows... be content to be friendly. I wouldnt request more unless I got to kniw him very well.

 

Creep alert: if a little obsessed.... try reverse search on his phone number or pictures. You may find ads that address your desires. Its a creepy thing to do, but... somtimes guys cant help being motivated by the crotch.

 

I don't know his phone number, but he did give me his real name. How do you do a reverse search on his photos?

[youngboldone]

Him telling you that his nickname is "Trouble" and what he added should say that he's probably been asked this before.

 

I recall asking a stripper at Nob Hill Theater when he was giving me a lapdance "do you do escort work?" He paused for a moment, then said "yes." So it looked like he was a little apprehensive to hear the question, but I doubt it surprised him since he also did porn.

 

Your guy sounds like I'd ask him the next time I see him.

 

Good luck YBO!

 

Thanks, friend of sheila! I'm going to go for it next time I go see him perform. I'm glad it worked out for you when you asked. Hopefully, you had a fun time and have fond memories!

[LaffingBear]

I don't know his phone number, but he did give me his real name. How do you do a reverse search on his photos?

If photos online already, use Google reverse image search. Or, upload pictures to tineye.com

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

Thanks for posting this. What about a twist like this... Suppose there is a hunky handsome sales guy at Nordstrom or Saxs... How would you bring this up in the retail environment? Or is that just too risky.

 

I think it's inappropriate to hit on someone while they're working, and coercive if they're in a retail or service industry or are your employees. The big exception is gay strippers. Getting you hot and bothered is their job.

 

Your guy has been propositioned a thousand times. If he's not interested, he'll deflect your question or politely decline. If you're discreet and respectful, he'll probably say yes. Make it clear that you're offering him a job, not asking him out socially. "Can I hire you for a private performance?" Don't use the word escort. He may be available for the job but not think of it as escorting. And since you're in a conservative town, he may be concerned about entrapment. Just be cool. And back off on facebook.

[BigK]

When he told you his nickname was trouble you should have told him your nickname was Generous.

[Gadfly22]

then he said, rather cryptically, something to the effect of "But we can make that happen sometime for sure."

 

That doesn't sound cryptic to me but rather a slam dunk yes . Good luck!

[+ friendofsheila]

But then he said, rather cryptically, something to the effect of "But we can make that happen sometime for sure."

 

DAMN DUDE, HE PRACTICALLY HANDED YOU A MENU!!

 

Kidding aside, here's what I'd say next time.

 

"Hey, Trouble, remember you said you could make a private session happen somehow? Does that mean you could do one outside the club?"

 

If you says "yes," I'd ask, "What's the best way is to reach you outside the club, so we can set one up? I'd rather not do it on Facebook."

 

If I got a phone #, I'd call him and THEN I'd start to ask if he does more than a lapdance. Waiting until then would avoid the indiscretion that others have been worried about.

 

I'll be watching this thread for an update, YBO!

[+ friendofsheila]

When he told you his nickname was trouble you should have told him your nickname was Generous.

 

All we have is a "like" button. I wish we had a "love" button for this comment!

[+ friendofsheila]

Thanks, friend of sheila! I'm going to go for it next time I go see him perform. I'm glad it worked out for you when you asked. Hopefully, you had a fun time and have fond memories!

 

I did not hire him, probably for cash flow reasons. If I remember his name, I'll post it here.

[youngboldone]

I have been careful not to be stalkerish with him on Facebook. I think the only interaction I've had with him was to send him a private message of Happy Thanksgiving. What's interesting is that he has private messaged me more than once encouraging me to come see him and tip him. Of course I'm not reading much into that because it's in his interest to get tippers to his shows. But he has also "liked" several of my random, social posts. I am going to go for it next time I attend one of his shows. I'm afraid of a no, but I'll never know if I don't try. Based on his performing skills and overall personality and - ahem - endowments, I bet he's a tiger between the sheets!

[+ friendofsheila]

I did not hire him, probably for cash flow reasons. If I remember his name, I'll post it here.

 

Zachery Scott http://www.daddysreviews.com/reviewURL/Z/zachery_scott_vegas

[+ friendofsheila]

I'm afraid of a no, but I'll never know if I don't try.

 

And if you don't ask, it's the same as giving YOURSELF a "no," instead of possibly getting a "yes."