Why? Part 2, bareback edition

[Mocha]

https://www.menshealth.com/health/super-gonorrhea

 

And because 90 percent of people who have gonorrhea in the throat are completely unaware that they are infected, they have no reason to seek treatment.

 

I don't want to come off as judgmental, and maybe there's a topic already brewing on this subject so excuse if it is.

 

But what's with the "whole" bareback thing now? People are just boldly texting out the blue for it, and tbh it's causing me concern about how safe the business is NOT becoming. I concern some activities and risks could lead to not only STDs, but to prostate or some other reproductive tract cancer later in life, and it's because this bareback thing is becoming all too common. No matter how much prep a person takes, Gonorreah and Chlamydia and Hep can still live in someone's asshole. Then, someone else or that same guy sucks that dick and gets it in the back of their throat. Then they suck someone off and pass it to them. Rinse and repeat.

 

This is part of my reasoning for not doing porn. I feel the porn industry has pushed the bareback agenda to a point of normalcy and now it's become more common than ever. I wouldn't want to be part of an industry which promotes that, which in turn makes us have to do riskier and riskier acts to stay relevant. I know because, when I first started...2007, 8, 9 10...nobody was asking for bareback. It just wasn't a topic of discussion. Now, it's almost as if I'm competing with guys who are doing bareback, because clients seem to not have an issue finding someone to do it when I say I'm not into that.

 

This is no diss to bare-backers or barebacking. If there's a mutual agreement and trust (which usually isn't), then by all means. Even the so called guys who ask if guys are into bareback to weed out someone who is into bareback, though clever...doesn't make sense considering the facts. I also find that's less common, as many guys turn down when you say not into bareback...meaning that's what they were looking for.

 

Why?

 

Edit: amusing literature referring to what I'm saying.

 

http://str8upgayporn.com/bareback-gay-porn-vs-condom-gay-porn/

 

https://www.outfrontmagazine.com/culture/dear-denver-whats-your-obsession-with-bareback-sex/

Edited November 16, 2017 by Mocha

[FTM Zachary Prince]

Because some guys like to bareback!

 

Are you using condoms for blowjobs? Because if not, you can easily contract and spread all the STIs you mentioned from oral sex. That's not a risk SPECIFIC to bareback anal sex.

 

If guys are asking you to bareback when your profiles clearly state that you DON'T, then I certainly empathise with you though. It's never acceptable for a client to push your boundaries when you've already said NO.

 

But at the end of the day, your safer sex preferences are not superior to anyone else's. We all make choices about which risks we want to take and which we don't. You can justify your choices and condemn someone else's by citing STI risks, but in reality no penetrative sex (including oral) is truly safe. The best we can do is choose the types of protection that make us feel at peace with our choices.

 

And you are NOT competing with escorts who bareback for clients who are exclusively interested in barebacking. Those clients will find what they want regardless. If you don't provide the service that they are looking for, they will move onto someone else because that's what people do.

 

If the exchanges are annoying you then I would recommend making it exceedingly clear in all your marketing that you don't BB and don't want to be asked about it. Consider anyone who asks you to reconsider to be a boundary-pusher and delete them without responding. Problem solved.

[maninsoma]

Why? Barebacking was common even before PrEP. With PrEP, I definitely noticed an increase in guys advertising with "ask me" or "anything goes" listed in the Safe Sex detail of their ads. To be fair, some of the "ask me" responses may very well not mean the escorts bareback, but given the text of many of the ads it's pretty clear that that's what it means a lot of the time.

 

A statistic from San Francisco on RentMen at the current time: 3 pages of "safe only" listings, 3 pages of "anything goes," and 5 pages of "ask me." I take the 3 pages of "safe only" listings with a grain of salt because some of the guys currently advertising as "safe only" change that response on occasion to one of the others.

[jjkrkwood]

You're an escort for God's sake. Why wouldnt you think clients would want you for bareback ? If it's not your thing, cool, but it kinda goes with the territory... Escorts like yourself that are high maintenance and judgemental usually dont get alot of business..... Oh wait, isnt that what you are always complaining about ?

[topinla]

 

And you are NOT competing with escorts who bareback for clients who are exclusively interested in barebacking. Those clients will find what they want regardless. If you don't provide the service that they are looking for, they will move onto someone else because that's what people do.

 

 

This really nailed it!

[Pulgasari1991]

I don't want to come off as judgmental, and maybe there's a topic already brewing on this subject so excuse if it is.

 

But what's with the "whole" bareback thing now? People are just boldly texting out the blue for it, and tbh it's causing me concern about how safe the business is NOT becoming. I concern some activities and risks could lead to not only STDs, but to prostate or some other reproductive tract cancer later in life, and it's because this bareback thing is becoming all too common. No matter how much prep a person takes, Gonorreah and Chlamydia and Hep can still live in someone's asshole. Then, someone else or that same guy sucks that dick and gets it in the back of their throat. Then they suck someone off and pass it to them. Rinse and repeat.

 

This is part of my reasoning for not doing porn. I feel the porn industry has pushed the bareback agenda to a point of normalcy and now it's become more common than ever. I wouldn't want to be part of an industry which promotes that, which in turn makes us have to do riskier and riskier acts to stay relevant. I know because, when I first started...2007, 8, 9 10...nobody was asking for bareback. It just wasn't a topic of discussion. Now, it's almost as if I'm competing with guys who are doing bareback, because clients seem to not have an issue finding someone to do it when I say I'm not into that.

 

This is no diss to bare-backers or barebacking. If there's a mutual agreement and trust (which usually isn't), then by all means. But this shit is getting ridiculous. Even the so called guys who ask if guys are into bareback to weed out someone who is into bareback, is silly. I also find that's less common, as many guys turn down when you say not into bareback...meaning that's what they were looking for.

 

Why?

Do they offer you a better rate for bareback?

[N13]

I don't want to come off as judgmental, and maybe there's a topic already brewing on this subject so excuse if it is.

 

But what's with the "whole" bareback thing now? People are just boldly texting out the blue for it, and tbh it's causing me concern about how safe the business is NOT becoming. I concern some activities and risks could lead to not only STDs, but to prostate or some other reproductive tract cancer later in life, and it's because this bareback thing is becoming all too common. No matter how much prep a person takes, Gonorreah and Chlamydia and Hep can still live in someone's asshole. Then, someone else or that same guy sucks that dick and gets it in the back of their throat. Then they suck someone off and pass it to them. Rinse and repeat.

 

This is part of my reasoning for not doing porn. I feel the porn industry has pushed the bareback agenda to a point of normalcy and now it's become more common than ever. I wouldn't want to be part of an industry which promotes that, which in turn makes us have to do riskier and riskier acts to stay relevant. I know because, when I first started...2007, 8, 9 10...nobody was asking for bareback. It just wasn't a topic of discussion. Now, it's almost as if I'm competing with guys who are doing bareback, because clients seem to not have an issue finding someone to do it when I say I'm not into that.

 

This is no diss to bare-backers or barebacking. If there's a mutual agreement and trust (which usually isn't), then by all means. But this shit is getting ridiculous. Even the so called guys who ask if guys are into bareback to weed out someone who is into bareback, is silly. I also find that's less common, as many guys turn down when you say not into bareback...meaning that's what they were looking for.

 

Why?

 

I thought you were no longer going to post.

[bigvalboy]

I don't want to come off as judgmental, and maybe there's a topic already brewing on this subject so excuse if it is.

 

But what's with the "whole" bareback thing now? People are just boldly texting out the blue for it, and tbh it's causing me concern about how safe the business is NOT becoming. I concern some activities and risks could lead to not only STDs, but to prostate or some other reproductive tract cancer later in life, and it's because this bareback thing is becoming all too common. No matter how much prep a person takes, Gonorreah and Chlamydia and Hep can still live in someone's asshole. Then, someone else or that same guy sucks that dick and gets it in the back of their throat. Then they suck someone off and pass it to them. Rinse and repeat.

 

This is part of my reasoning for not doing porn. I feel the porn industry has pushed the bareback agenda to a point of normalcy and now it's become more common than ever. I wouldn't want to be part of an industry which promotes that, which in turn makes us have to do riskier and riskier acts to stay relevant. I know because, when I first started...2007, 8, 9 10...nobody was asking for bareback. It just wasn't a topic of discussion. Now, it's almost as if I'm competing with guys who are doing bareback, because clients seem to not have an issue finding someone to do it when I say I'm not into that.

 

This is no diss to bare-backers or barebacking. If there's a mutual agreement and trust (which usually isn't), then by all means. But this shit is getting ridiculous. Even the so called guys who ask if guys are into bareback to weed out someone who is into bareback, is silly. I also find that's less common, as many guys turn down when you say not into bareback...meaning that's what they were looking for.

 

Why?

 

I thought you were no longer going to post.

 

[jjkrkwood]

I thought you were no longer going to post.

 

 

Attention Seeking 101......

[LookingAround]

I thought you were no longer going to post.

I was thinking the same thing. That didn’t last long did it.

[LoveAustinCF]

I hope there will be a part 3.

[jjkrkwood]

I hope there will be a part 3.

 

Unfortunately, there WILL be.....

[bigvalboy]

Unfortunately, there WILL be.....

 

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/lol.gif

[YoungAD]

My thoughts are that the kettle is on to boil, even as we speak.

[jjkrkwood]

My thoughts are that the kettle is on to boil, even as we speak.

 

The RANT, she is a cumming !!!!!!!

[Mocha]

Because some guys like to bareback!

 

Are you using condoms for blowjobs? Because if not, you can easily contract and spread all the STIs you mentioned from oral sex. That's not a risk SPECIFIC to bareback anal sex.

 

If guys are asking you to bareback when your profiles clearly state that you DON'T, then I certainly empathise with you though. It's never acceptable for a client to push your boundaries when you've already said NO.

 

But at the end of the day, your safer sex preferences are not superior to anyone else's. We all make choices about which risks we want to take and which we don't. You can justify your choices and condemn someone else's by citing STI risks, but in reality no penetrative sex (including oral) is truly safe. The best we can do is choose the types of protection that make us feel at peace with our choices.

 

And you are NOT competing with escorts who bareback for clients who are exclusively interested in barebacking. Those clients will find what they want regardless. If you don't provide the service that they are looking for, they will move onto someone else because that's what people do.

 

If the exchanges are annoying you then I would recommend making it exceedingly clear in all your marketing that you don't BB and don't want to be asked about it. Consider anyone who asks you to reconsider to be a boundary-pusher and delete them without responding. Problem solved.

 

To clarify, I'm not condemning or saying my safe sex practices as being superior. I've done all kinds of things...but I'm educated on all the risks involved, so ain't no shame in my (or anyone else's) game. The problem is, some people aren't. There's 40, 50 and 60 year old men out here who don't know you need to have your throat and ass tested for stds. Yet they're sucking off and giving their bare hole up to DOZENS of guys.

 

I'm just questioning where the popularity and expectations of it is coming from. And I know where it's coming from, porn.

 

I like what you're saying though. If this becomes too common an occurrence, it may be time to post up publicly that it's not something I wish to offer. However, it's just not as cut and dry as that.

 

Black on white bareback porn has become such a big thing, that it seems that many guys either think all black guys fuck raw or that we're willing to do it. Even the videos on RM usually all show bare dicks in white ass. It's hot yeah but still...shouldn't be a widely expected thing. Keep it on the porn and just wear skyn or bareskin condoms.

 

Also...I'm well aware that it doesn't take bareback to get something. However, it INCREASES the chances of passing stuff along. If Joe blow has the clap in his butt and bubba fucks him raw...John would be less likely to get gonorrhea in his throat had bubba not fucked Joe blow without a condom. The only reason John now has gonorrhea in his throat, is because he sucked the dick that went into Joe blow bareback. And now; Peter, Will, Tom and Harry are all infected because Joe Blow didn't get his ass and throat swabbed before giving blow jobs.

 

Just Little scientific there.

Edited November 16, 2017 by Mocha

[N13]

Blah Blah Blah

[jjkrkwood]

http://67.media.tumblr.com/a7bdc6a85204a47a19d87212e1e76477/tumblr_n0sts2a0011ql5yr7o1_500.gif

[KennF]

https://www.menshealth.com/health/super-gonorrhea

 

And because 90 percent of people who have gonorrhea in the throat are completely unaware that they are infected, they have no reason to seek treatment.

 

I don't want to come off as judgmental, and maybe there's a topic already brewing on this subject so excuse if it is.

 

But what's with the "whole" bareback thing now? People are just boldly texting out the blue for it, and tbh it's causing me concern about how safe the business is NOT becoming. I concern some activities and risks could lead to not only STDs, but to prostate or some other reproductive tract cancer later in life, and it's because this bareback thing is becoming all too common. No matter how much prep a person takes, Gonorreah and Chlamydia and Hep can still live in someone's asshole. Then, someone else or that same guy sucks that dick and gets it in the back of their throat. Then they suck someone off and pass it to them. Rinse and repeat.

 

This is part of my reasoning for not doing porn. I feel the porn industry has pushed the bareback agenda to a point of normalcy and now it's become more common than ever. I wouldn't want to be part of an industry which promotes that, which in turn makes us have to do riskier and riskier acts to stay relevant. I know because, when I first started...2007, 8, 9 10...nobody was asking for bareback. It just wasn't a topic of discussion. Now, it's almost as if I'm competing with guys who are doing bareback, because clients seem to not have an issue finding someone to do it when I say I'm not into that.

 

This is no diss to bare-backers or barebacking. If there's a mutual agreement and trust (which usually isn't), then by all means. Even the so called guys who ask if guys are into bareback to weed out someone who is into bareback, though clever...doesn't make sense considering the facts. I also find that's less common, as many guys turn down when you say not into bareback...meaning that's what they were looking for.

 

Why?

 

Edit: amusing literature referring to what I'm saying.

 

http://str8upgayporn.com/bareback-gay-porn-vs-condom-gay-porn/

 

https://www.outfrontmagazine.com/culture/dear-denver-whats-your-obsession-with-bareback-sex/

 

Again, perspective. The porn industry isn't pushing a bareback agenda. Consumers are. Consumers have both options, and have for a long time, and are pushing for more such content.

 

Safety/Risk taking is relative. Everyone is choosing for themselves how much risk to take and what types of risk to endure.

 

As for you not wanting to come off as judgmental, that's not true. The post IS about YOUR judgments on barebacking.

 

BTW - If I recall correctly, you're the one who's posted about HIV denial and that it is more of a HipHop propaganda message.

[Mocha]

Again, perspective. The porn industry isn't pushing a bareback agenda. Consumers are. Consumers have both options, and have for a long time, and are pushing for more such content.

 

Safety/Risk taking is relative. Everyone is choosing for themselves how much risk to take and what types of risk to endure.

 

As for you not wanting to come off as judgmental, that's not true. The post IS about YOUR judgments on barebacking.

 

BTW - If I recall correctly, you're the one who's posted about HIV denial and that it is more of a HipHop propaganda message.

 

Once again, you're making baseless ASSUMPTIONS. Plus, I never said anything relating to denial of HIV being a free pass to go bareback. Stop trying to connect one thing to another. That's like saying just because someone doesn't believe that airbags are safe, means they don't think seatbelts are useful.

 

If I'm judging bareback, then by definition you're defending it. If you'd just understand where I'm coming from, you wouldn't be so quick to be so sassy and drop something so unrelated to negate what I'm talking about.

 

And yes, consumers are pushing for such things...but what do we do to change that, without losing potential business?

[N13]

Am now ignoring you!

[KennF]

Once again, you're making baseless ASSUMPTIONS.

There was nothing baseless in my assumptions of your comments.

 

Plus, I never said anything relating to denial of HIV being a free pass to go bareback.

Nor did I. I am simply pointed out that your position on STD's is questionable. Using bareback and disease together is your doing and how you started this thread.

 

Stop trying to connect one thing to another.

No.

 

Condoms, although originally intended to deal with unwanted pregnancy, were promoted in the gay community as a direct response to the HIV/AIDS crisis. (I was there when the marketing began in SF and NYC) They were not invented to deal with STD/STI. Gay men, for the most part, look at condoms through the marketing lens of HIV prevention and making sex safe again.

 

Now, the introduction of PrEP and the greater understanding of how HIV works, has adjusted perceptions again. As a result, the risk levels perceived in potential clients is changing.

 

Either your business model adjusts to that change, or you will lose market share to attrition. The market is changing, and you need to adjust. Either differentiate yourself for value-add and specialize, or, lose business to those that will.

 

If I'm judging bareback, then by definition you're defending it.

I am stating the reality of the situation. Whether I bareback or not, is my business. You don't want to engage in it in yours, so clients desiring it are going to say you aren't providing the service they desire.

 

I am judging your response to barebacking and that I freely admit.

 

My judgment: I believe you are being unreasonable and inflexible. Either bareback and take proactive steps to limit exposure as well as reactive steps when exposed... OR... Adjust your expectations on business and find a way to differentiate yourself (specialize) in a narrow market space... OR... Do nothing and complain, although I doubt this is really an effective business strategy.

 

If you'd just understand where I'm coming from

I do understand your point of view, however, I am not required to.

 

If you want to send a message that all escorts should stop engaging in bareback sex, then go ahead... but don't expect that they are going to change because you ask them. And don't expect sympathy for your business conditions just because you are unhappy that clients want bareback sex.

 

If you want to say that clients are being fooled, by the porn industry, into engaging in risky behavior then you're missing the basics of business. The you've got it backwards. It is the reduction in risk assessment, specifically of HIV, that is the current driver behind increased bareback sex and the acceptance of bareback porn.

 

drop something so unrelated

HIV scared people into condoms. Understanding risks, treatment options, and knowledge are resetting opinions back to where they were before. HIV and Condoms are NOT unrelated.

 

And yes, consumers are pushing for such things...but what do we do to change that, without losing potential business?

Not to be rude... but the options are clear. Either:

• Differentiate yourself and make the other services you provide worth more than the value customers place on bareback; or;
  
• Narrow your market space to only condom using clients; or;
  
• Lower your price to increase your market space to offset the lost market; or;
  
• Provide bareback services (with all of the pros and cons involved); or;
  
• Find a new industry to work in;
  

You can't change the entire market to your personal preferences. Adjust, adapt, change, or, close up shop.

 

There are too many new entrants into the market to make it possible for you to change market demands. Sorry for the truth.

Edited November 17, 2017 by KennF