Fat Shaming

[+ Avalon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08Feq9i3Fzg

 

Some people can be so cruel!

[jjkrkwood]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08Feq9i3Fzg

 

Some people can be so cruel!

 

 

Some say cruel, others say honest. He was just using the statements as a shield to insure no advances were made towards him. I think its kinder "upfront" than you making the advance and being REJECTED flat out.

 

But thats just what I would prefer. Both humiliating but less so if I havent actually propositioned him.

[+ OliverSaks]

Many other statements he could have made that weren’t cruel and would still establish that he wasn’t interested in anything physical/romantic.

[+ Avalon]

On the other hand he could have hired a beautiful escort who would not have judged him.

[Bertster]

Some say cruel, others say honest. He was just using the statements as a shield to insure no advances were made towards him. I think its kinder "upfront" than you making the advance and being REJECTED flat out.

 

But thats just what I would prefer. Both humiliating but less so if I havent actually propositioned him.

 

The initial title of the short film catches your horror, but then after the first 30 seconds of the film, you learn that this “gay muscle jock” didn’t just mosey up to the other guy using a machine at the gym and unload on him - he was being hit on. I think broadly speaking you probably should adhere to the practice of staying in your lane (unless you’re going to offer him cash of course ). Or just wait 6 or 8 months until your gym transformation is complete, then have a crack at him.

[jjkrkwood]

On the other hand he could have hired a beautiful escort who would not have judged him.

 

That may not be entirely TRUE, since there have been countless stories about escorts who changed their "DO" list upon arrival, and that could be because these didnt want to perform certain acts with THAT client.

 

In that sense, they ARE being judged.

[hornytwells]

Am not sure I even believe this, plus the absolutely pathetic "muzak" that accompanies it and the fact he cannot spell the word vile has already reduced my sympathy for a guy who hits on someone way out of his physical league, that he met in, of all places, the gym! Duh.

[jjkrkwood]

Am not sure I even believe this, plus the absolutely pathetic "muzak" that accompanies it and the fact he cannot spell the word vile has already reduced my sympathy for a guy who hits on someone way out of his physical league, that he met in, of all places, the gym! Duh.

 

 

Again, to be fair, not all muscle boys are ONLY attracted to muscle boys. I get hit on by muscle boys too, and in NON-paying situations. So you never know who will be attracted to you. The only way you can know for sure to to make the "pass" and wait for the result. I dont blame the guy for trying. He liked muscle and he "went for it".... No pain, NO GAIN.....

[+ Avalon]

That may not be entirely TRUE, since there have been countless stories about escorts who changed their "DO" list upon arrival, and that could be because these didnt want to perform certain acts with THAT client.

 

In that sense, they ARE being judged.

 

That's true. A 50yo out-of-shape man can not do what a 25yo athletic person can. A person needs to accept their own limitations.

[hornytwells]

true, I don't blame him for trying, but the fact he acted so surprised and hurt by the rejection doesnt quite convince me

[LaffingBear]

BooHoo. Don't approach stangers in a locker room. Fat shaming isn't limited to, or more prevalent in the gay community.... it's everywhere. I couldnt even finish watching the vid.

 

I'm fat. Very fat. And one thing I've learned about people who are fat.... everyone copes with the burdens and barriers differently.

 

I tried an overeaters anonymous group.... all they did was sit around and complain about barriers, advocating that airlines need to make wider seats, clothiers are insensitive, etc. Some big people cope as if they're online activists, writing about the prejudice. Get off the internet... there are no solutions, or even comforts, in online slacktivism.

 

The video maker ALLOWED the hater to get in his head and make him him feel shameful. And sad. I can relate. I've been stunned, hurt, and furious about some of the fat shaming things that happened to me. But there's absolutely no benefit to going online with a boo-hoo story.

 

Three practical reactions:

• Recognize that there are assholes in the world... not everyone, but enough that they can intrude on any situation, topic, etc. Get over it, and chalk up the behavior to "just another asshole!" Move on.
  
• Get over yourself... and learn to be more content with who you are. Don't go seeking sympathy cloaked in exposing social prejudices. Even if you get sympathy, you won't feel better, and may feel resentful or worse.
  
• Channel your reactions into losing weight.
  

[MikeyGMin]

adhere to the practice of staying in your lane

I like that expression. I'm going to use it in the future. Much nicer than saying someone is out of your league.

 

That said, I thought the video was silly. Full of contradictions. "I wouldn't consider myself fat" but later "I have 50 lbs to lose."

[Bertster]

Again, to be fair, not all muscle boys are ONLY attracted to muscle boys. I get hit on by muscle boys too, and in NON-paying situations. So you never know who will be attracted to you. The only way you can know for sure to to make the "pass" and wait for the result. I dont blame the guy for trying. He liked muscle and he "went for it".... No pain, NO GAIN.....

 

Totally true. But if you posses the chutzpah to just waltz up to fellas like that in the gym, then you probably should posses the skin to handle a knockback (albeit a blunt knockback), without going into a woe-is-me serenade like our film producer has.

[jjkrkwood]

Totally true. But if you posses the chutzpah to just waltz up to fellas like that in the gym, then you probably should posses the skin to handle a knockback (albeit a blunt knockback), without going into a woe-is-me serenade like our film producer has.

 

 

Hey rejection is SHAME, and we have ALL experienced sexual rejection at some time in our lives, for all diff sorts of reasons. Dwell on your "sucksesses", not your failures.

[+ nycman]

What the gym bunny allegedly wrote was way harsh.

 

I’m guessing the the fat guy wasn’t taking clues and had been persistent

in persuing someone who wasn’t interested in him. We can put on gigantic

blinders to the truth...when it suits our needs, dreams, and/or wishes. I know

I’ve done it before and gotten hurt as a result. When push came to shove...

unfortunately the gym bunny shoved in an unkind way.

 

I’m just saying I’m not sure all the blame rests with the in shape guy.

I don’t see someone who frequently makes small talk with me at the

gym, suddenly lashing out like that....unless I was clueless to begin with.

 

Who knows?.....as the man says....we gays are a funny breed.

[bigvalboy]

I really don't have an opinion. I just clicked on "play" and got to :23 seconds. That's 23 seconds that I completed wasted in my life, and now I've wasted another 23 seconds typing about it here...Oy Vey!!

[+ FreshFluff]

I’m guessing the the fat guy wasn’t taking clues and had been persistent

in persuing someone who wasn’t interested in him. We can put on gigantic

blinders to the truth...when it suits our needs, dreams, and/or wishes. I know

I’ve done it before and gotten hurt as a result. When push came to shove...

unfortunately the gym bunny shoved in an unkind way.

 

I’m just saying I’m not sure all the blame rests with the in shape guy.

I don’t see someone who frequently makes small talk with me at the

gym, suddenly lashing out like that....unless I was clueless to begin with.

 

Who knows?.....as the man says....we gays are a funny breed.

 

Yeah, Bunny is a real jerk, but I wonder how much the big guy Bunny before he finally lashed out.

 

But no, there's nothing gay about this. Plenty of women get pissed off when men below their league pester them. In fact, TLC pretty much wrote that email in musical form.

 

[+ Avalon]

There is more to being gay than just sex. Why can't two gay men be friends and just hang out together and go places together with no thought of sex!

[Bertster]

There is more to being gay than just sex. Why can't two gay men be friends and just hang out together and go places together with no thought of sex!

 

No one appears to be refuting that sentiment in prior posts. However the producer of the video admits that he found the gym jock physically attractive, and that appears to be our video producers motivation for approaching.

[+ purplekow]

So far in this thread, the fat guy gets most of the blame. Stay in your lane. Get a thicker skin, Get used to it you are fat and unattractive. He is attributed qualities which he has mentioned are specifically addressed, they are both the same age, one is not 50 and the other 25. He is assumed not to have caught on to the clues of the attractive guy being turned off to him. He is attributed to just walking up to a guy and hitting on him, when he started with a simple hello and after several encounters found out common information and asked him to go to a ball game. Does the in shape guy say no. Does he make up a plausible excuse. Does he just say that he is not interested. No he says yes, and then clobbers him with an offensive e mail. If he had just stopped at I am sorry I did not tell you at the gym, but I really do not want to socialize with you outside the gym, that would have been firm and clear and it probably would have stung a bit but not too much.

So put me in the corner with the people who think a courteous negative answer is the right way to handle this. If this guy is so gorgeous, he must be used to turning down people who are possibly hitting on him, you would think he would be better at it. Or perhaps, he likes the attention, perhaps cultivates it and then gets a perverse pleasure of being cruel, like a 6 year old burning insects with magnifying glass. Isn't this just another case of excusing bad behavior in a good looking guy? By the way, I married a woman who was way out of my league. It happens, that some people go a bit deeper than the bicep.

 

Of course that fatter guy could have been a jerk. If that was the case, the fit guy should have take Nancy Reagan's advice to: Just Say No.

[+ Avalon]

No one appears to be refuting that sentiment in prior posts. However the producer of the video admits that he found the gym jock physically attractive, and that appears to be our video producers motivation for approaching.

 

Right. But the guy in the video mentioned they had a common interest in sports. The muscle guy was rather rude. One can't have too many friends.

[+ José Soplanucas]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08Feq9i3Fzg

 

Some people can be so cruel!

 

Bottom line, it does not seem real to me.

[hornytwells]

So far in this thread, the fat guy gets most of the blame. Stay in your lane. Get a thicker skin, Get used to it you are fat and unattractive. He is attributed qualities which he has mentioned are specifically addressed, they are both the same age, one is not 50 and the other 25. He is assumed not to have caught on to the clues of the attractive guy being turned off to him. He is attributed to just walking up to a guy and hitting on him, when he started with a simple hello and after several encounters found out common information and asked him to go to a ball game. Does the in shape guy say no. Does he make up a plausible excuse. Does he just say that he is not interested. No he says yes, and then clobbers him with an offensive e mail. If he had just stopped at I am sorry I did not tell you at the gym, but I really do not want to socialize with you outside the gym, that would have been firm and clear and it probably would have stung a bit but not too much.

So put me in the corner with the people who think a courteous negative answer is the right way to handle this. If this guy is so gorgeous, he must be used to turning down people who are possibly hitting on him, you would think he would be better at it. Or perhaps, he likes the attention, perhaps cultivates it and then gets a perverse pleasure of being cruel, like a 6 year old burning insects with magnifying glass. Isn't this just another case of excusing bad behavior in a good looking guy? By the way, I married a woman who was way out of my league. It happens, that some people go a bit deeper than the bicep.

 

Of course that fatter guy could have been a jerk. If that was the case, the fit guy should have take Nancy Reagan's advice to: Just Say No.

The whole thing smacks of made up to me.........

[Good Grief]

The whole thing smacks of made up to me.........

 

[Wunder82]

The video seems made up. For one thing, it is a computerized voice narrating the story. Listen to how the voice pronounces "5'9" (5 apostrophy 9) and "anyone's 'A' list" (anyone's uh list). It would have had more credibility with me. But that said, it does convey a message I heard, and dealt with personally sometimes, in high school and college. Yeah, some of the things said hurt - but I moved on, always. Narcissists could give a damn about friendships - they're interested in knowing people are admiring their looks, or are giving them the attention they crave (like going up to them and striking up a conversation as was done in the video). After a certain point though, they push back. Some people are shallow that way. It's happened to me in college. Example: I thought a cute guy who jogged on the same path as I was going to become a possible friend. One day, he said, "why are you making this more than the two of us jogging?". I stopped dead in my tracks with a WTF look on my face, he just kept jogging. Didn't see him again until 2 years ago - at a gym (from a distance). The aging process, or too much sun, did not agree with him. He looked lonely, I only saw him once. Karma has a way of doing that.