HIV

[LaffingBear]

In my addled opinion, YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THE JEWISH PEOPLES' TRAGEDY DURING WORLD WAR II to make your point.

 

OKAY?

 

No sir, it is not OK. And you do not need to yell.

 

The tragedy of the Jewish people would be pointless if we do not learn the lesson. Remembering what stigmatizing did in the past to protect the victims of stigmatization in the present is what any decent human being would hope for.

Oy!

 

Such a tummel from you faygalehs and this fercockt argument

 

Arguing on the internet is the modern definition of Hak mir nit keyn tshaynik!

[SuenosAmor]

Aren't most escorts tops? Seems to me like they are, so it seems to me like they're okay as far as STD's go.

 

Usually the taller and muscular ones in my experience. The shorter and more slender ones tend to be bottoms. Generally speaking, this is how it is outside the escort world too. But obviously there are exceptions.

[Guy Fawkes]

Then I assume your not comfortable with images of the Japanese internment camps, Indian Reservations, or Slavery.

 

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'

While I get tired of continually being beat over the head for things that happened several generations ago, I do like the occasional reminder that people have been known to commit atrocities. To us specifically in the LGBT community.

 

@Guy Fawkes Please end this thread.

 

Not comfortable with a Hitler or concentration camps images.

[Larstrup]

Aren't most escorts tops? Seems to me like they are, so it seems to me like they're okay as far as STD's go.

 

I can't recall ever hearing something more ignorant and stupid when it comes to profiling an escorts sexual preferences and their lack of concern for STD's.

 

That's just astonishing to me.

[+ TheKnobGobbler]

I don't know how many guys would hire an escort who has HIV and I'm sure some of them (escorts) might hide it just because is good for business.

 

I would! Hell, I prefer fucking poz guys. So much easier than having to tiptoe around the fears and misconceptions of negative partners, that's for sure. Sometimes hooking up feels like giving a TED talk on the transmission risks and prevention options for HIV. I get the feeling people aren't doing their homework.

 

I've been reading this thread and others close to the topic for a while now. I was diagnosed with HIV 1993 when I was 19-years-old. For the last 24+ years, I've made it my inviolable policy to always and without exception inform my sex partners of my status even though I am adherent to my antiretroviral therapy and have been undetectable for years. For a long time, the fear of rejection kept me from even seeking out intimate contact at all. I'd go months, sometimes years without sex simply because I knew that I couldn't not tell someone, and that most someones would not be receptive to the idea of hooking up after they knew. But eventually, as I got older, I decided to stop soaking up the stigma that people unknowingly or uncaringly let loose when talking about HIV and the people who live with it, often right in front of us with gusto and candor. I started to accept the fact that I, as a +U gay man who is honest and upfront about his status, have done everything in my power to protect everyone else from being in jeopardy of getting HIV from me. (Isn't that sweet of me? :)You're welcome!)

 

I've been passed over by guys after telling them my status more times than I can count, only to watch them go off and have unprotected sex with someone who simply claimed to have been HIV- and on PrEP. The problem with that whole scenario, though, is that I knew the guy - he hadn't been adherent to his Truvada regimen for months because he wasn't able to fill his prescription. And he hadn't been tested for HIV or any other STI for even longer than that. So here we had a guy choosing between a) someone who has voluntarily disclosed his +u status and could prove his undetectable viral load, and b) a guy of equal or lesser value who has no idea whether he's been infected with HIV or any other sexually transmitted infection in the last six or eight months, but who knows he can lie about taking Truvada and still get that D. #Buzzwords #FuckMyLife

 

Do escorts have a "moral obligation" to disclose? I'm the last person to try to impose my morality or lack thereof on anyone else, but I'll say this: I wish we could get to a place where the escort felt comfortable enough to disclose his HIV status without fear of losing clients. I wish we, as a community of queers, could get past the ignorance-based fear and the serosegregation that everyone seems to think makes them so much safer, and just talk openly about the disease and then act accordingly! We're adult human men. If we're grown enough to put our beepers in their bumpers, or to bounce our bumpers on their beepers, then we ought to be grown enough to responsibly discuss the circumstances that surround such fun activities. Alas, as evidenced by some of the posts I've read lately, we are definitely not there yet. Maybe we never will be. I'll just keep telling everyone that I have antibodies for HIV and taking my medicine everyday to keep myself healthy. I'll just have to hope they'll be informed and educated enough to treat me with the respect I deserve and without the fear that I don't.

[guy69er]

@TheKnobGobbler - You said it better than anybody could. Love your eloquence, and I thank you for sharing your honest perspective! (From your name, I think we are kindred spirits.)

[Michael Paul]

Aren't most escorts tops? Seems to me like they are, so it seems to me like they're okay as far as STD's go.

No all escorts are tops.... I am a bottom escort ; ) ...I get tested regularly

[+ JEC]

As others have said, behave as if every one is poz - that way only you are responsible for your health and whatever decisions you make. You cannot rely on others to be truthful, or even to know their status.

[Michael Paul]

As others have said, behave as if every one is poz - that way only you are responsible for your health and whatever decisions you make. You cannot rely on others to be truthful, or even to know their status.

I do agree we are all responsible for our own health and decisions and should not expect anyone to come forth..... with that said....I would like to thing anyone that is asked about HIV status would be honest if they were Poz themselves. It gives the client a chance to make an informed decision. Even knowing they could loose a client.... just my thought on this subject.

[+ JEC]

Would be nice if we lived in a world where everyone was truthful all the time. As discussed here this is a complex topic (sadly) fraught with emotion and stigma which makes the truth about this topic complex. For some / many providers this is how they pay their rent and if the rent is due.....? Or for that matter, a client is looking to get off and we know people don't always use the best judgment when the "little head" is in control

[KennF]

I like what you wrote, but you do not go far enough. No one should feel like having the right to ask. Only your doctor.

 

Well, I certainly understand your perspective. I didn't take it as far as you, because I feel that if two people are about to engage in sex, then medical conditions that can be transmitted by sex are a reasonable discussion, regardless of whether it is herpes, gonorrhea, HIV, hepatitis, or anything else.

 

If you want to have a discussion as to the extent of the "expectation" and does it reach the level of a "right", that's a matter of degree.

[KennF]

Wow I can not believe what I am reading. You know that is illegal. The criminal transmission of HIV in the United States varies among jurisdictions. More than thirty of the fifty states in the U.S. have prosecuted HIV-positive individuals for exposing another person to HIV. A person donating HIV-infected organs, tissues, and blood can be prosecuted for transmitting the virus..

 

And this legal trend prompted the Americans with Disabilities Act to protect against the stigmata and stereotyping. These laws, some of which have been abandoned or reversed, are part of the problem.

 

However, even with these laws, we are talking about an industry unregulated and on the fringe of the law. With the other risks, the added risk of violating these oppressive laws is superfluous.

[Lab12]

Oy!!! I opened Pandora's box with this thread, didn't I. But then again I definitely understand why this is a very touchy and passionate subject for our community.

[+ TheKnobGobbler]

These are exactly the kinds of discussions our community needs to be having. It's only through communication and an exchange of those touchy and passionate opinions that the subject becomes more comfortable to talk about openly. As long as people remain respectful and try to limit the amount of judgement their statements contain, it's a healthy exercise, especially in a group like this one, comprised of providers and clients with two (or more) unique perspectives from which to share. Keeping conversations about HIV down to a whisper and always in as discreet a manner as possible only serves to hinder the dissemination of information, and it paints the subject with an unseemly veneer of shame and secrecy. Drag it out into the light and let's talk about it!

[Nvr2Thick]

I do not believe that anyone participating in casual and/or anonymous sex is morally obligated to disclose his status. I do believe that he's obligated to tell the truth if asked. Regardless, as so many have noted, no one should base his own safe sex choices on his partner's word. One of my friends was complaining about the ethics of the "Don't know / Don't care" position regarding status, but I kind of like it because it frees an escort's (or trick's) potential partner to make his own choices without confusing himself regarding morals, questionable truths, and other variables.

[LookingAround]

You do realize Prep is not a 100% protection right?

Pretty damned close.

[+ José Soplanucas]

That's because I can prove it. Pardon me for not posting it here but I do keep pictures of all my tests on my phone should one of my hookup as you call it want to see it. It's not my fault some people have issues believing and taking others for their word. There still nice people left in this world you know. You do realize Prep is not a 100% protection right?

 

Do you realize that only abstinence is 100% safe?

[Lab12]

Do you realize that only abstinence is 100% safe?

bahahahahahaha abstinence!!! yeah that is not going to happen. lol

[+ TheKnobGobbler]

I'm always amused/confused by the rebuttal I hear from so many anti-Truvada folks about PrEP being less than 100% effective at preventing the spread of HIV. Who is telling them that they have to choose Truvada or condoms - just one - as their only method of prevention against HIV infection for the rest of their lives? Nobody is saying that. In fact, there are so many factors that could be working in one's favor, it's even possible (okay, not mathematically) for one to reach upward of 100% risk-free sex with no chance of HIV infection. Take Truvada every day, have sex with an HIV+ partner whose viral load is undetectable, and use a condom for all of your penetrative sex. That's three ways to stop HIV, each of which by itself is very, very effective already.

 

If that's what it takes to put minds at ease, use ALL the ways. Do what you need to do for you, boo! But that's where opinions on the matter should stop, because how you choose to protect yourself during sex and how someone else prefers to protect theirs are two totally different things - two unrelated sets of personal responsibility, and there is no room for anyone to wag their finger and start shaming the dude next door just because his method looks different from theirs. Doing so would just be hateful, petty, and unproductive.

[SuenosAmor]

Pretty damned close.

 

Yeah, all the research I've read indicates very high efficacy. I think this is why studios have reverted back to BB action in gay porn. It should be mandatory for all sex workers, in my opinion. For the average person, condoms with PrEP will give you very high protection from everything. Obviously abstinence is the only 100% guarantee, but we have to live our lives, have great sex, and not live in fear.

[MassageDrew]

Do you realize that only abstinence is 100% safe?

 

I know that, tell that to MikeyGMin who seem to think Prep will protect him

[+ José Soplanucas]

I know that, tell that to MikeyGMin who seem to think Prep will protect him

 

He is correct. Truvada will protect him. I think you are the one with the wrong view here.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I'm always amused/confused by the rebuttal I hear from so many anti-Truvada folks about PrEP being less than 100% effective at preventing the spread of HIV. Who is telling them that they have to choose Truvada or condoms - just one - as their only method of prevention against HIV infection for the rest of their lives? Nobody is saying that. In fact, there are so many factors that could be working in one's favor, it's even possible (okay, not mathematically) for one to reach upward of 100% risk-free sex with no chance of HIV infection. Take Truvada every day, have sex with an HIV+ partner whose viral load is undetectable, and use a condom for all of your penetrative sex. That's three ways to stop HIV, each of which by itself is very, very effective already.

 

If that's what it takes to put minds at ease, use ALL the ways. Do what you need to do for you, boo! But that's where opinions on the matter should stop, because how you choose to protect yourself during sex and how someone else prefers to protect theirs are two totally different things - two unrelated sets of personal responsibility, and there is no room for anyone to wag their finger and start shaming the dude next door just because his method looks different from theirs. Doing so would just be hateful, petty, and unproductive.

 

I am loving you. We need more people with a contemporaneous mind in this forum. My warmest welcome.

[+ TheKnobGobbler]

I am loving you. We need more people with a contemporaneous mind in this forum. My warmest welcome.

 

Why, thank you!

[MikeyGMin]

I know that, tell that to MikeyGMin who seem to think Prep will protect him

I'm not going to do the whole PrEP efficacy thread again. That horse has been beaten to death around here.

 

My point was that I am more likely to believe someone who says they are on PrEP than I am someone who simply says they are DDF. I didn't say or imply anything about what I would or would not do based on that information. That's me. You do and believe whatever it is you're comfortable with.