What's the best way to ask what an escort will do

[MassageAdam]

What is the best way to ask what an escort/erotic massage therapist will do without making them feel like they are being set up. There are several guys that state they do erotic/sensual massage but when you email them about what that includes they don't want to answer. Based on the price of the massage, it would seem more would be included. I am thinking about upgrading to exclusively escort and not massage therapist but not sure if I would get the same type of response. Anyone have suggestions?

[+ VictorPowers]

What is the best way to ask what an escort/erotic massage therapist will do without making them feel like they are being set up. There are several guys that state they do erotic/sensual massage but when you email them about what that includes they don't want to answer. Based on the price of the massage, it would seem more would be included. I am thinking about upgrading to exclusively escort and not massage therapist but not sure if I would get the same type of response. Anyone have suggestions?

Simply say "what you're into" follow that up with saying is this something you'll be comfortable doing. It's easy and there won't be a lot of back and forth.

[MrMattBig]

Simply say "what you're into" follow that up with saying is this something you'll be comfortable doing. It's easy and there won't be a lot of back and forth.

 

It would be better to say "My interests include xyz. Do you think we are a compatible match?" This allows both parties to stay away from implicating doing any sexual acts together by not using active verbs.

If you are looking for anything outside of manual stimulation, it would be best to hire for an escort session.

[+ VictorPowers]

@MrMattBig even better. I dont know the exact words that can/cannot be said from a legal standpoint.

[MassageAdam]

@MrMattBig and @VictorPowers

Thanks for answering my question and the good advice!

[+ Eric Hassan]

What is the best way to ask what an escort/erotic massage therapist will do without making them feel like they are being set up. There are several guys that state they do erotic/sensual massage but when you email them about what that includes they don't want to answer. Based on the price of the massage, it would seem more would be included. I am thinking about upgrading to exclusively escort and not massage therapist but not sure if I would get the same type of response. Anyone have suggestions?

 

It would be better to say "My interests include xyz. Do you think we are a compatible match?" This allows both parties to stay away from implicating doing any sexual acts together by not using active verbs.

If you are looking for anything outside of manual stimulation, it would be best to hire for an escort session.

 

I think there are a couple of things here.

 

First, @MassageAdam, I think if you're looking for more than a massage, it's probably wiser to hire an escort. I know that occasionally other things happen during a massage appointment, but I don't think that because someone has offered something else to someone else that they will necessarily offer you the same thing. I also caution you against expecting "more" based on the price; I imagine approaching someone with that assumption might turn them off - there's a market rate for these things and these guys need to make money. I'm not a massage therapist, and I don't really get the world of hiring for that, but it seems there are a lot of guys trying to get massage therapists to do more. I don't get it at all.

 

Second, @MrMattBig gave a great example of how to talk with a service provider - massage therapist or escort - about what you're interested in. I'll talk about this with escorts, since that's the world I am working in and understand. Don't ask your escort "what are you into?" It feels like we are supposed to read your mind, or like you don't really know what you want and are just shooting in the dark, or like you are testing us to see if we can give the "right" answer - none of those experiences are fun. Also, I have a lot of interests, and it can depend on chemistry and my mood, so asking for a laundry list of the things I'm "into" feels frustrating and invasive. If you ask me what kind of food I like, I might mention I like Indian and Middle Eastern but might not mention Italian, which I also love. Then if you were looking to have Italian or Sushi, you might, based on my answer, assume we aren't a match for dinner. If you tell me you like Italian food and ask me if I'd like to join you, then you'll find that we are indeed a match for dinner. From the legal perspective, this is a great argument for having a phone call, or for using a strategy such as mentioning the kind of porn you like (something like "I really love those rough fucking scenes in that movie - I'd like to experience what that bottom experienced").

 

The take home point I have for anyone looking to hire is this - know what you want, when you want it, and where you want it, and then communicate that. You are the customer. You are paying. This is about you.

[rvwnsd]

In my first email, I introduce myself, state what I like to do, and ask how that sounds to the escort.

[Chris Mitchell]

MassageAdam, thank you for asking this question! I guarantee there are other novices like us who aren't members and read the board. And, thank you to those who gave good advice.

[LADoug1]

I think there are a couple of things here.

 

First, @MassageAdam, I think if you're looking for more than a massage, it's probably wiser to hire an escort. I know that occasionally other things happen during a massage appointment, but I don't think that because someone has offered something else to someone else that they will necessarily offer you the same thing. I also caution you against expecting "more" based on the price; I imagine approaching someone with that assumption might turn them off - there's a market rate for these things and these guys need to make money. I'm not a massage therapist, and I don't really get the world of hiring for that, but it seems there are a lot of guys trying to get massage therapists to do more. I don't get it at all.

 

Second, @MrMattBig gave a great example of how to talk with a service provider - massage therapist or escort - about what you're interested in. I'll talk about this with escorts, since that's the world I am working in and understand. Don't ask your escort "what are you into?" It feels like we are supposed to read your mind, or like you don't really know what you want and are just shooting in the dark, or like you are testing us to see if we can give the "right" answer - none of those experiences are fun. Also, I have a lot of interests, and it can depend on chemistry and my mood, so asking for a laundry list of the things I'm "into" feels frustrating and invasive. If you ask me what kind of food I like, I might mention I like Indian and Middle Eastern but might not mention Italian, which I also love. Then if you were looking to have Italian or Sushi, you might, based on my answer, assume we aren't a match for dinner. If you tell me you like Italian food and ask me if I'd like to join you, then you'll find that we are indeed a match for dinner. From the legal perspective, this is a great argument for having a phone call, or for using a strategy such as mentioning the kind of porn you like (something like "I really love those rough fucking scenes in that movie - I'd like to experience what that bottom experienced").

 

The take home point I have for anyone looking to hire is this - know what you want, when you want it, and where you want it, and then communicate that. You are the customer. You are paying. This is about you.

Yes it's about the client but also about compatibility. The appointment is a collaboration.

[+ nycman]

First email/text I just ask if they're available at X place at Y time.

 

If they answer in the affirmative, I simply state that I'm a Top

who enjoys being aggressive so they know to expect getting

fucked during the session.

 

I don't go much beyond that. Everything else is so chemistry

dependent for me that it's not much use discussing it ahead

of time. Once we're both naked, my arms are wrapped around

you and I can smell your scent....I can give you a pretty good

idea of how I'd like things to go down....but before that moment

I'm on an open journey.

 

Oh wait...we're talking about massage. I don't ask at all. I just

book the massage. An excellent massage beats an ok hand job

any day. If there's more that's great....but that's even more

chemistry dependent in my experience.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Yes it's about the client but also about compatibility. The appointment is a collaboration.

 

I'm not clear on what you mean to say here. Are you simply adding statements of agreement, or are you attempting a rebuttal of something?

[+ JEC]

I always make it a point to ask providers if they are law enforcement and tongell them I am not. While I am. Or a lawyer, I believe this ensures there can be no entrapment. Once this is out of the way should be open to more open conversation? Also a direct conversation might allow for more "free" dialogue

[+ OliverSaks]

I always make it a point to ask providers if they are law enforcement and tongell them I am not. While I am. Or a lawyer, I believe this ensures there can be no entrapment. Once this is out of the way should be open to more open conversation? Also a direct conversation might allow for more "free" dialogue

You're mistaken about the law enforcement thing.

 

http://www.snopes.com/risque/hookers/cop.asp

[+ José Soplanucas]

I used to send a message describing what I was looking for. Now, instead, I have profiles in RM and in Adam that include my picture and a detailed description of what I am looking for. My first contact message is now something like "Hey, I am interested. Please, check my profile and let me know whether you think we can click". Both messaging systems (RM and A4A) let me know when my message was read. If I do not have a response, I just move on.

[Trick]

I contacted someone I saw on RM today. I introduced myself in my first text and asked about meeting tomorrow.

 

In my second text I said, "Your RM ad says you are into Anal, Kissing, and Cum. Are you cool with that?"

 

I didn't get a reply. I must have turned him off.

[MrMattBig]

I always make it a point to ask providers if they are law enforcement and tongell them I am not. While I am. Or a lawyer, I believe this ensures there can be no entrapment. Once this is out of the way should be open to more open conversation? Also a direct conversation might allow for more "free" dialogue

 

If cops can kill people because the color of their skin, then they can lie about anything.

[Guy Fawkes]

That was rather nasty.

 

If cops can kill people because the color of their skin, then they can lie about anything.

[Michael Paul]

You're mistaken about the law enforcement thing.

 

http://www.snopes.com/risque/hookers/cop.asp

This is something I have had in the back of my head. Could this be some kind of entrapment being set up on me. Is there a safe of asking or finding out?

[+ JEC]

Good to know. Unsettling, but good to know.

[LADoug1]

I'm not clear on what you mean to say here. Are you simply adding statements of agreement, or are you attempting a rebuttal of something?

I'm just showing respect for an escort and taking his needs and feelings into consideration.