Do you prefer gay resorts when traveling?

[rocky]

Nope.

 

There was a fascinating write-up in San Francisco Magazine many years ago. The entire issue focused on gay life in the Bay Area. Young, old, professional, politicians, male, female, hourly workers, etc... they tried to cover all segments of the gay population. It was very thought provoking.

 

There was a presentation on acclimating... the push-pull of seeking equal rights and mainstream acceptance, without abandoning many activities and behaviors that were are part of the gay community identity. The consensus of those interviewed was "we dont need gay cruises any more. We shouldn't need gay neighborhoods - I mostly feel comfortable holding hands with my boyfriend anywhere in town. We prefer mixed bars and clubs, rather than the gay bars."

 

I also had a fascinating conversation with a stranger a few years ago - he owns and runs a gay friendly B&B. He said one of the most frustrating things.... older guys would would call or email, and start hinting around, wondering if there was a sexual atmosphere at the place. Like bad porn, and real sleaze inns of the past. He repeatedly had to explain to potential guests, "No, you're not going to see sex-parties in the pool. No one cares what you do in your room, you dont need to hide who you are, or avoid PDAs here. We want you feel comfortable, but just because we owners are gay, it's not a sex club." Younger callers, who hadnt lived through the years when such places were more common, never asked.

 

So, I wouldnt choose a gay resort. I dont long for the bathhouses of old. I dont like the way small shopkeepers were displaced, but I dont resent the gentrification of the Castro neighborhood. I can acclimate as progress changes all aspects of society, without conforming. I'm perfectly fine that guys no longer stand naked in their doorways at Becks.

 

I only watched the first episode, and I dont know how accurately its depicted, but based on the series of the same name, you couldnt pay me to vacation on Fire Island. I stayed at Big Rubys in Key West in 2001... theres a reason its closed. Theres a reason Guerneville, CA, is transforming again, and becoming less gay.... theres a reasons that Jews no longer need the resorts of the Catskill Borscht Belt. We progress, we seek and gain acceptance. The safety in uniformity eventually become unnecessary.

 

Ive been with a group of gays on a non-charter cruise, and there was no problem. I've checked into the Hyatt with a guy, and had the room changed to a King from the two-doubles they'd assigned us - no raised eyebrows. Most socializing I do is with mixed gay & straight crowds.

 

Maybe if I lived somewhere less tolerant, I'd seek less inhibiting surroundings for vacation. But I'd probably just choose bigger cities, or more tolerant countries, without demanding all-gay.

 

The only reason I can think if for an all-gay property is sex. If thats a priority for my vacation, I'd prefer to figure out other means to achieve it than checking into someplace with a brothel-like atmosphere.

 

That said.... I dont eat at Chick Fil A. I wouldnt go to a resort if research told me it was owned by some religious fundamentalist, or if I'd heard they were unwelcoming.

You bring many things out I have not thought of but I'm a 63 year old pudgy guy who, yes, would love to go back to the days of Key West, Provincetown of the 80's, 90's. Why, well there's more of a "your not included" attitude when traveling to gay areas and gay bars. I'm not a couple, I like a cruisy experience, sorry if that's offensive to anyone. I guess I'm an old dog that can't be taught new tricks but certainly would like new tricks.

[Epigonos]

I had never considered staying in a gay resort until I began attending the Palm Springs Weekends. I have over the years now stayed in three or four of them. Some were clothing optional and some were not. I didn't find the prices outrageous or the rooms tacky. I actually enjoyed the experiences. I found it fun to spend time with other gay guys of differing ages where everything was out in the open. Even in the clothing optional resorts I didn't encounter over the top sex orgies taking place. I have never stayed at The Hacienda, which is probably the most expensive of the Palm Springs gay resorts, but I have visited. It is indeed very expensive but it is also drop dead gorgeous.

[LaffingBear]

You bring many things out I have not thought of but I'm a 63 year old pudgy guy who, yes, would love to go back to the days of Key West, Provincetown of the 80's, 90's. Why, well there's more of a "your not included" attitude when traveling to gay areas and gay bars. I'm not a couple, I like a cruisy experience, sorry if that's offensive to anyone. I guess I'm an old dog that can't be taught new tricks but certainly would like new tricks.

Why would your personal preferences offend anyone?

[+ WilliamM]

I had never considered staying in a gay resort until I began attending the Palm Springs Weekends. I have over the years now stayed in three or four of them. Some were clothing optional and some were not. I didn't find the prices outrageous or the room tacky. I actually enjoyed the experiences. I found it fun to spend time with other gay guys of differing ages where everything was out in the open. Even in the clothing optional resorts I didn't encounter over the top sex orgies taking place. I have never stayed at The Hacienda, which is probably the most expensive of the Palm Springs gay resorts, but I have visited. It is indeed very expensive but it is also drop dead gorgeous.

 

Excellent response.

 

I may rethink. In the 1990s I stayed at a non-gay "resort" in Big Sur...Vantana Inn. I was expecting to use the fireplace in a room a lot. The staff was so together that other people started the fires and cleaned up before I had chance. Not a huge problem. The Inn was not far from the ocean, but on the wrong side of the road.

 

If I ever go back. I shall be better prepared.

[Rudynate]

Excellent response.

 

I may rethink. In the 1990s I stayed at a non-gay "resort" in Big Sur...Vantana Inn. I was expecting to use the fireplace in a room a lot. The staff was so together that other people started the fires and cleaned up before I had chance. Not a huge problem. The Inn was not far from the ocean, but on the wrong side of the road.

 

If I ever go back. I shall be better prepared.

 

Not positive, I think we've stayed there. It was a lot of years ago.

[OCClient]

I've been to one gay resort in Palm Springs that is so serene and laid back. Well run, etc. I like a quiet place with friendly management and clients, and no noisy families running around. So yeah, that is what I prefer in Palm Springs. That said, there are a lot of gay resorts in Palm Springs I'm not looking for. For me a vacation is a time to re-charge my batteries, so those high energy places with lots of play ... not interested.

[Deadlift1]

I like the concept of a gay resort. However, I prefer clothing to be mandatory instead of optional as most visitors who choose to go nude are usually the ones that shouldn't. And if you want sex take it to u r room. No matter what anyone says PDA is still not widely acceptable in mixed resorts.

[+ azdr0710]

I usually prefer to be as anonymous as possible when I travel.......room 4286 in a 3000-room convention hotel is perfect for me as long as it's quiet and clean, the TV works, heat or AC is in good shape, and the bed is comfortable

 

no to B and Bs as I feel I have to whisper all the time

 

and the high price/value ratio of some gay-oriented accommodations, as suggested above, is a concern

[MikeyGMin]

I found bachelorette parties irritating

I'm afraid I still do. I guess I'm just not ready to become post-gay. I have no problem with straight women coming to the bars with their gay friends, but I do not like to be thrust into the middle of a bachelorette party. They're always so obnoxious.

 

My only satisfaction is that we often hang out with a straight guy. (And yes he is truly truly straight.) His eyes light up when he sees there's a bachelorette party at the bar. And I don't feel a bit bad for them when they find out they aren't quite as "safe" with their gay toys as they thought.

[theplayerking]

I travel alone and am usually looking to hook up, so I tend to patronize gay hotels. If I had a partner, it wouldn't be important.

[njr47]

Gay hotels and resorts---or, at least, acknowledged gay-owned places----are still a good idea in communities and countries where being gay is stigmatized. Last year, my partner and I traveled to small towns around the Mediterranean, where two men sharing a double bed could be cause for negative criticisms, or at least veiled hostility. In a number of these towns, we were much happier staying in places that certain websites identified as gay-welcoming or gay-owned.