Worst Ever Massage

[+ Drew Collins]

How I do love you friends of the forum!! @Cliff @keroscenefire THANK YOU for your last two posts!

[cany10011]

Not the worst, but the most awkward: I went with a bi-buddy of mine to an asian massage parlour on the upper east side and nearing the completion of the massage, the lady who was wearing a very diaphonous dress asked me as she slide her hand on my thigh if I wanted anything more.... sorry, no!!!

[+ Italiano]

Many moons ago..... Jake Deckard. I was young (maybe 20 years ago) and enamored of the pics he was posting on the internet. I had never been to a masseur before and reading up, and ogling over his pics, I created this great big fantasy of how wonderful it would all be and how happy and satisfied it would make me. Well, I arrived 15 minutes early - anxious to be there. I didn't think much to have the desk guy call up to say I was there. Jake wasn't very happy about my early arrival - which I can now totally understand - he gasped and sighed and over the phone said I should wait. I was upset at myself for being early and sat, waiting in the lobby. Once I went up, in my nervousness, I think I said all the wrong things which made him appear even less happy with my presence (I think I tried to ask him what else he did other than massage and he might have taken that as offensive - which I really didn't mean in a bad way, as being a masseur is a totally legitimate profession, and I was awkwardly trying to make small talk)...Maybe he had personal stuff going on as well, I don't know. Well, during the massage, not sure of how to go about it, I tried touching him but he kept batting my hand away, huffing and puffing like I was ruining his routine - a master doing his work... So I just gave up and laid there, miserable - with some hot dude who I totally offended mad at me and distant. My fantasy of how wonderful it would all be shattered and I couldn't stop wondering wtf I did. Finally, at some point, when he was ready, something started poking my head and I outright asked him, "May I....?" That was kinda weird. I imagined it would have been sexier than that. It was mechanical - no warmth. I half nearly choked, gave myself a HE, and left. I walked down the street sad, mad at myself for I-don't-know-what. I'd have to say that was the worst experience I've ever had.

 

Years later, however, watching Tim Kruger rip Jake's asshole apart on video gave me a sick sense of pleasure, LOL..... Thanks, Tim!

Wow sorry you had this experience with Jake. He was one of my first sensual massage in NYC also...many many moons ago, I would say about 17/18 years ago, before he moved to LA and become a successful porn star. I had an amazing experience with him, both as a great therapeutic massage and a very sensual/sexual one. No, I didn't get there early and I didn't ask him what else he did other than massage . I went back to him a few years ago after he had come back to NY (Is he still here?... Did he move back to LA?..) and I have to say that I found him a bit weird, and the experience wasn't as memorable.

[+ Italiano]

My 2 worst:

 

This guy "Romeo" in Brooklyn who now I guess escorts. It was the most detached masseur I had (on a bed), he looked like he was all the time thinking about his own business, and he didn't have a clue on how to massage, just keeping going over and over the same spot on my back. I was stupidly impressed by the pic of his biceps which were of course implants. I cut it short and left. And if he is 29 yo now, I am 15.

 

https://rent.men/Romeolopez

 

And this guy in Buffalo, whose pics had been definitely taken pounds and muscles ago.

 

Smelly and messy apartment, massage on a quite dirty mat on the floor with a dark blanket on top (...), and also he kept rubbing the same part and kept placing his flaccid penis on my hand.

Cut it short too.

 

https://rent.men/BuffaloPunisher

[+ Just Sayin]

Wow sorry you had this experience with Jake. He was one of my first sensual massage in NYC also...many many moons ago, I would say about 17/18 years ago, before he moved to LA and become a successful porn star. I had an amazing experience with him, both as a great therapeutic massage and a very sensual/sexual one. No, I didn't get there early and I didn't ask him what else he did other than massage . I went back to him a few years ago after he had come back to NY (Is he still here?... Did he move back to LA?..) and I have to say that I found him a bit weird, and the experience wasn't as memorable.

 

I follow Jake on Instagram and he is living in St Louis with his husband

[DJinthevalley]

Most of my massage experiences have been good to great. I've had a couple of odd massages from what I believe were trans men, but no complains about the actual massages. And I've had some bad near massages where I ended up not booking. I was in Palm Springs in a hotel and messaged this Australian guy from Rentmasseur. His rates said "ask" and he said he offered therapeutic and erotic at different rates. I asked how much for a 90 minute erotic and he insisted on talking on the phone live. So I called him and he wanted me to define what I meant by erotic. I turned it back to him and asked what he meant by erotic since his ad offers that option. He went on and on about how he's not an escort and he's only doing this to earn money to fund is art or some such shit. I never called him an escort. He then added that he was sure I'd want him to talk a lot during the massage because most people love his accent. Wrong. I told him to forget it.

What sucks the most is browsing profiles on Rentmasseur with my visibility on and having therapists block me once they see I've checked out their profile because I must not be a client they want, even though I haven't even contacted them! That stings.

[slcguy1]

My 2 worst:

 

This guy "Romeo" in Brooklyn who now I guess escorts. It was the most detached masseur I had (on a bed), he looked like he was all the time thinking about his own business, and he didn't have a clue on how to massage, just keeping going over and over the same spot on my back. I was stupidly impressed by the pic of his biceps which were of course implants. I cut it short and left. And if he is 29 yo now, I am 15.

 

https://rent.men/Romeolopez

 

Who do some of these guys think they’re fooling? The (very obviously) dyed hair and beard can’t hide the fact he’s easily in his 40s.

[Guest]

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/41296/

[MisterMike]

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/41296/

He's so cute though, what went wrong?

[Guest]

Oaktown took one for the team. Worst rub & tug 'session'. Ever!

 

Cold greeting / dated pics / rickety table / Johnson's Baby Oil rubbed in circular motions for 10 minutes...

[midtownguy]

I saw a guy in Harlem once. The massage was good, and he was nice and all....the problem was that when I arrived at his apartment his grandfather was sitting at the table in the kitchen as we passed by on our way to the massage room. lolol I still went along, and in fact hired him again, but this time as an outcall.

[kyleham]

Wow sorry you had this experience with Jake. He was one of my first sensual massage in NYC also...many many moons ago, I would say about 17/18 years ago, before he moved to LA and become a successful porn star. I had an amazing experience with him, both as a great therapeutic massage and a very sensual/sexual one. No, I didn't get there early and I didn't ask him what else he did other than massage . I went back to him a few years ago after he had come back to NY (Is he still here?... Did he move back to LA?..) and I have to say that I found him a bit weird, and the experience wasn't as memorable.

 

 

I too like Italiano went to Jake many many moons ago before he was a porn star. I never had a sensual massage before as I had only gone to legit spas so I didn't know what to expect. I remember lying on the table and his hard dick was brushing up against me and I did not know what to do.

(I was young and very inexperienced at the time). Finally he forced it in my hand and total me I could touch and do whatever I wanted to him.

Needless to say I saw him many many times over the years. I loved that he gave a great therapeutic massage and a mind blowing erotic experience.

Over the years he opened up and shared his film experiences with me. The last time I saw him it was a little weird. I think he was totally burned out from it all and maybe just needed the money. Overall I miss him and wish he was still at his peak as I have never found anyone close who has given me such pleasure and I've had A LOT of massages in my life.

[+ Yellowrod]

I too like Italiano went to Jake many many moons ago before he was a porn star. I never had a sensual massage before as I had only gone to legit spas so I didn't know what to expect. I remember lying on the table and his hard dick was brushing up against me and I did not know what to do.

(I was young and very inexperienced at the time). Finally he forced it in my hand and total me I could touch and do whatever I wanted to him.

Needless to say I saw him many many times over the years. I loved that he gave a great therapeutic massage and a mind blowing erotic experience.

Over the years he opened up and shared his film experiences with me. The last time I saw him it was a little weird. I think he was totally burned out from it all and maybe just needed the money. Overall I miss him and wish he was still at his peak as I have never found anyone close who has given me such pleasure and I've had A LOT of massages in my life.

 

Jake was a wonderful experience for me when he was in LA. But that was many years ago, and I fulfilled a lot of fantasies which I projected on him after watching some of his flicks. He was very amenable and really knew what to do to make his client feel *real* good. I miss him a lot as well.

[+ sniper]

I definitely got the impression Jake lost his love of the work at some point not that long after he got into porn and added an escort level of service to his options. I think there are aspects of being a "celebrity" that nobody cares for, but bug some more than others. I think he made the mistake of reading the comments section.

[bloop]

I think that guys who are his type get a better experience with him.

I definitely learned a very valuable lesson from that experience, so it’s all good ☺??

 

I wonder what his type is. I've considered him before when he's traveling but never went for it.

[Monarchy79]

I wonder what his type is. I've considered him before when he's traveling but never went for it.

 

I won’t assume what his type is, but I most definitely know it wasn’t me.. LOL.

[RobertW323]

I once went to a guy in Long Beach. His ad and website depicted him as being a muscle bound ex-military type with powerful hands. When I met him I quickly realized he was the exact opposite. He was incredibly overweight, which would have been fine except that’s not what I was expecting. And he spoke with a really girly voice that wasn’t in keeping with his marketing campaigns.

 

I could have looked past all that, but what I couldn’t tolerate was how filthy his apartment was. I got the immediate impression that this guy never left his apartment and had absolutely no life whatsoever.

 

The massage was really mediocre and frustrating. I’ve had small women give me much stronger massages. I think he was also used to working closeted “straight” dudes, and when I told him I was openly gay he seemed really disappointed, so he put very little effort into it.

 

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. He probably has plenty of loyal clients, it I definitely won’t be one of them.

[+ E.T.Bass]

I once went to a guy in Long Beach. His ad and website depicted him as being a muscle bound ex-military type with powerful hands. When I met him I quickly realized he was the exact opposite. He was incredibly overweight, which would have been fine except that’s not what I was expecting. And he spoke with a really girly voice that wasn’t in keeping with his marketing campaigns.

 

I could have looked past all that, but what I couldn’t tolerate was how filthy his apartment was. I got the immediate impression that this guy never left his apartment and had absolutely no life whatsoever.

 

The massage was really mediocre and frustrating. I’ve had small women give me much stronger massages. I think he was also used to working closeted “straight” dudes, and when I told him I was openly gay he seemed really disappointed, so he put very little effort into it.

 

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. He probably has plenty of loyal clients, it I definitely won’t be one of them.

 

Yup! I'm certain I know who that is. Was my worst too. Everything you said was same for me. In addition, he took a break during my session. I didn't ask him but it seemed he went in the other room to play a video game. I expect he does have a certain kind of client that returns, but I am not one.

[colonexstacy]

On 2/21/2020 at 9:55 PM, CuriousByNature said:

If I was able to stay awake for almost 3 hours watching Ralph Fiennes slowly die in 'The English Patient', surely a masseur should be able to stay awake long enough to complete a massage... ?

OH QUEEN no you didnt...comment of the year! lmfao

[Otterlybelievable]

On 4/29/2021 at 6:32 AM, Italiano said:

My 2 worst:

 

This guy "Romeo" in Brooklyn who now I guess escorts. It was the most detached masseur I had (on a bed), he looked like he was all the time thinking about his own business, and he didn't have a clue on how to massage, just keeping going over and over the same spot on my back. I was stupidly impressed by the pic of his biceps which were of course implants. I cut it short and left. And if he is 29 yo now, I am 15.

 

https://rent.men/Romeolopez

I saw Romeo a couple years ago (before I found this forum) for a massage. It was super light on actual massage and heavier on foreplay/frottage (not what I was looking for but I initially thought he was hot). After awhile though, he started talking about how sexy he found younger guys…and he made it clear that by “younger” he meant boys. Grossed me out and I left immediately. That was only my third worst though. 
 

My worst massage experience was with a provider in HK around Christmas time in 2021. We’d chatted for a few days and made plans to meet up for a 60 minute massage on a Sunday around 2 pm. I arrived to his building and ended up waiting around 15-20 minutes for him outside because he was at “brunch” with some friends and was running late on his way back. When he finally shows up he takes me into his apartment and the sink was filled with dirty dishes, there was dirty laundry all over the living room, and there was an opened box of McNuggets on the dining room table. He seemed apologetic and said that the mess was his roommate’s from the previous night, and he offered me a drink. In the back of my mind I knew I should’ve said no and left but I figured I was already there and the guy was hot (less attractive than his pictures due to the obvious color contacts and muscles that were purely from steroids, but still good looking), so I stayed. He led me to his room which was just as messy as the rest of the apartment, had me undress and get on his bed, proceeded to rub my back for maybe 5-10 minutes, and then began up selling. I’d had that drink on an empty stomach so my judgment was a bit impaired and I consented to the full upsell, but definitely regretted it afterwards because the whole ordeal was over in less than the 60 minutes and I ended up paying him more than double what I initially agreed on. After he finished (I was too grossed out to finish) and I’d showered up, he revealed that “brunch” with his friends was actually a house party and he invited me to go back with him. Again, I should’ve said no, but again, my judgment was a bit impaired, and I said yes. We walked over and as soon as we get into his friend’s place I realized it was a full circuit party with over 200 people packed into the apartment. After we did a lap and he introduced me to the host, he mentioned that I’d need to Venmo the host $30 to pay the DJ (who was just a guy playing his Spotify playlist from his laptop). That was when I finally got up the nerve to leave. He actually reached out a few times in the following days to ask if I had a great time and if I’d sent the host the $30. I ignored all of those and he eventually got the hint and stopped reaching out. 
 

My second worst was a total catfish - his RM profile pics were of a Korean guy but the person who opened the hotel room door was as white as sliced bread. He also asked for the full amount upfront, which I’ve since learned my lesson on, but at the time I figured I’d spent all that time getting there so I might as well see it through. He shorted me on time, the pressure was too light, he stayed clothed the entire time even though we’d agreed on him being nude, and there was no HE at the end, even though he said that it was included when we chatted prior. 
 

I’ve gotten better at discerning who is good and who isn’t since then, but I definitely paid to learn that lesson. 

[Bluefin]

On 2/14/2020 at 11:22 AM, Bluefin said:

I’ve been overall lucky.

 

Worst was filthy, hoarder studio apartment. Every dish and pan dirty in the sink, trash can over flowing, dirty clothes everywhere. Answered the door in a stained tee shirt and sweats. Left right away.

 

Funny worst is the guy who ended up on top of me and his massage table collapsed and as I was getting dressed asked me to pay for a new one.

Still the worst I’ve had - not bad odds.