I have become attached to my escort

[adventurous old guy]

I think this thread is under-estimating the wide variation in possibilities for relationships between human beings. Yes money muddies the water, but I've met guys who escort who are trustworthy and grounded. Judge that by the questions I ask them and how they respond. Though I'm not looking for new friends, I can see how that could happen with someone who's interesting. There have been stories here, 9x6's included, of people who met a partner/lover through escorting. Probably more the exception than the rule, but I see friendship as possible. Bottom line, don't think the "always" or "never" generalizations apply. I resonate with the posters who advise letting things play out naturally, though for me I like questions that help me understand others, so I probe a bit. If a conversation about who we are starts great, if not I respect that.

[Mount N Do]

I think this thread is under-estimating the wide variation in possibilities for relationships between human beings. Yes money muddies the water, but I've met guys who escort who are trustworthy and grounded. Judge that by the questions I ask them and how they respond. Though I'm not looking for new friends, I can see how that could happen with someone who's interesting. There have been stories here, 9x6's included, of people who met a partner/lover through escorting. Probably more the exception than the rule, but I see friendship as possible. Bottom line, don't think the "always" or "never" generalizations apply. I resonate with the posters who advise letting things play out naturally, though for me I like questions that help me understand others, so I probe a bit. If a conversation about who we are starts great, if not I respect that.

I would agree that "friendships" can develop from these transactions. I'm a little more weary of emotional attachments.

[+ sync]

Considering he is a very private person, the cornerstone of your enduring relationship may be that you don't pry into his personal life.

[MaxMuscle9x6]

don't do it and don't offer him more money. Despite your attraction and feelings for him, he may not feel the same and you only open yourself up to being hurt. Keep it as is and let everything develop organically. What he will tell you regardless, is his truth. Take it from someone who has been down this path and the truth was far from the real truth.

[sexymonk]

My advice is that be cautious! Remember that it is transaction that is involved. My another advice, don't flow and control your emotions.

[Tony861]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and wise words.

 

Completely agree with everyone on the cash for info. Bad idea.

 

I do know some personal things (first, middle and last real name). Other things as well. Based on these comments and further retrospection, I will not attempt to pry into more of his private life. End of days would be a bad decision and when thing come to and end between us, I would prefer a bitter sweet departure verses an attempt to remove basic element of our time together and the end will have to eventfully happen. The fun and mystery is terrific.

 

Thanks again, I am glad I reached out and appreciate everyone's comments!

[LookingAround]

I think that a year into this you know pretty much what you're going to know about his private life.

[MikeyGMin]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and wise words.

 

Completely agree with everyone on the cash for info. Bad idea.

 

I do know some personal things (first, middle and last real name). Other things as well. Based on these comments and further retrospection, I will not attempt to pry into more of his private life. End of days would be a bad decision and when thing come to and end between us, I would prefer a bitter sweet departure verses an attempt to remove basic element of our time together and the end will have to eventfully happen. The fun and mystery is terrific.

 

Thanks again, I am glad I reached out and appreciate everyone's comments!

Good decision. I have a regular that I'm attached to also. I would really miss him if our arrangement ended, but it would be a "Damn that was a good thing!" kind of response and not a "My heart is broken." You have to guard your heart in these situations. Keeping boundaries is the best way to do that for your sake and his. Sounds like he's a good guy so enjoy what you got!

[+ Gar1eth]

I have a bit of a dissenting opinion on this. I would say, go right ahead. A good escort, which he presumably is, will be glad to take the money. And if need be, make up an entirely fictional story of his fascinating, secret but 'real' life. Just to satisfy your craving, as a client.

 

But doesn't that defeat @Tony861's desire of finding out what the escort in question is really like?

 

Mind you I don't think @Tony861's desire is a good one. While I realize it's difficult to think logically when your emotions are involved, let's try. While I'm not saying an escort can never fall for a client, it's got to be a fairly rare occurrence. On the other hand clients falling for escorts, it probably happens on a fairly frequent basis. How could it not? You hire a guy in most cases because you are attracted to him. Then if it turns out to be a good relationship, the escort is giving you what you want/need. You keep seeing the escort. If the sessions remain good, the escort continues to satisfy the client' needs. A good escort fits himself to what the client wants. So it's perfectly natural for a client to fall 'in like' or deeper.

 

 

 

I'm guilty of it myself. I had to quit seeing at least one escort because of it. In that case I never expected he would want me for a boyfriend. He liked athletic guys in their 20's and 30's. I just wanted to be actual friends. But while I had the feeling I wasn't his most difficult client and that maybe he was fond of me in a professional way, I doubted he would ever really consider me a friend.

 

So while being 'in like' or deeper can make sessions with the escort better, I don't think it's good for the client in the long run.

 

Gman

[+ glutes]

I spent a lifetime lookin' for you

Single bars and good time lovers were never true

Playing a fools game, hopin' to win

Tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again

 

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

 

 

 

Read more: Johnny Lee - Looking For Love Lyrics | MetroLyrics

[+ quoththeraven]

Hello everyone -

 

I have a question. I have become very attached to my escort. We have been doing business for a little over a year. I love the stories and the attempt to appear that I am the only one. He is such a teddy bear sweetheart.

 

Here is my challenge and ask - would like to get folks thoughts.

 

I would like to triple his fee for an 4 hour period for a trip down reality row. Basically (no details of course) would like to know what his "real" life is like. He is a strong dude and very private. I do not want to insult him, just really want to know him. If he said no, I would immediately back off. If he said yes I would have my list of questions. Of course playing fair I would answer anything he may want to know. I am also a very private person, but have been very up front with him. My ask is not to trick or con him in anyway, I would never do that to anyone especially someone I have grown so fond. I think he is aware how much I value my integrity and would never do anything in malice. With either answer it would change the dynamics of our time together.

 

In your opinion if you were given a similar ask, what would you think and/or do? Should I put this idea to rest and realize I am silly dude who has a crush?

 

Thank you for your thoughts, advice.

My advice is "no." This is borderline creepy.

 

For what period of time do you normally hire him? If it's only been an hour at a time, hire him for longer period, take him out for lunch or dinner for part of the session, and ask questions then. It's also possible to sneak in a few questions after or between rounds of sex. But don't expect to get the full story in one fell swoop (or at all) and don't press him for identifying specifics.

[+ sniper]

I'm always sort of curious about what makes people tick/how they find their way to this kind of work and would love to know more about a lot of these guys, but the fact is they have very good reasons not to share "the truth" with their clients, and I realized I have no way of truly verifying things they say anyway so I stopped asking anything other than very general questions about the job. Some volunteer no information, some give a lot, some probably too much, but for all I know they're making that up.

[+ Gar1eth]

I spent a lifetime lookin' for you

Single bars and good time lovers were never true

Playing a fools game, hopin' to win

Tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again

 

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Lookin' for love in too many faces

Searchin' their eyes

Lookin' for traces of what I'm dreaming of

Hoping to find a friend and lover

I'll bless the day I discover

Another heart lookin' for love

 

 

 

Read more: Johnny Lee - Looking For Love Lyrics | MetroLyrics

 

 

Gman

[+ bashful]

I'm reminded of the scene from Moonstruck:

 

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm reminded of the scene from Moonstruck:

 

One of my favorite movies. Cher looks beautiful in that purple dress she wears to the opera. And Mr. Cage is pretty handsome too.

 

Gman

[Mount N Do]

I'm always sort of curious about what makes people tick/how they find their way to this kind of work and would love to know more about a lot of these guys, but the fact is they have very good reasons not to share "the truth" with their clients, and I realized I have no way of truly verifying things they say anyway so I stopped asking anything other than very general questions about the job. Some volunteer no information, some give a lot, some probably too much, but for all I know they're making that up.

I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. My experience has been that the 3 guys I've been with that I can characterize as "regulars" have been truthful. I can't say I know their whole diary, but they did divulge personal information. Of course it wasn't immediate and I never pried. It's kinda like with my adult kids. The information often flows cause I don't inquire. I mostly just listen and frequently without follow up.

[adventurous old guy]

I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. My experience has been that the 3 guys I've been with that I can characterize as "regulars" have been truthful. I can't say I know their whole diary, but they did divulge personal information. Of course it wasn't immediate and I never pried. It's kinda like with my adult kids. The information often flows cause I don't inquire. I mostly just listen and frequently without follow up.

I'm close to MnD on this continuum, but the truth is that I AM curious about the escorts I meet and I do probe a bit if the guy seems interesting. If the guy doesn't want to share, he can let me know in words or body language, and then I respect that. Its part of respecting him as a fellow traveler in the demimonde.

 

One more thing. Three guys on this board have given me a heads up about someone I've discussed who I'd been more or less defending because I'd had a good experience or good vibe in planning a future experience. Guys here if they post for awhile do become more knowable I think, and what they say is more trustworthy to me than what I hear from escorts who a) I don't know and b) normally are in sales mode when dealing or worst case are creeps or completely lost folks. At the risk of going Hallmark, there's a kind of caring for fellow man here that I appreciate. Just sayin, as I think this thread exemplifies it. Sincere and provoking question, lots of feedback/disagreement/advice from different POVs, and overall just a kind of nice generosity of ideas and spirit runs through this thread. :rolleyes:

[NuSingle]

This is an interesting topic. I'm still working my way to a first experience but I have chosen this route specifically NOT to form an emotional bond. I'm feeling too old for the single scene and gun shy of having my heart stomped on again. This gives me a bit of pause, but I still think it's the right path.

 

I am curious by nature, so I know I'll want to ask questions. I will definitely follow the escort's lead and not press the issue however. The last thing I need is to fall for somebody that I absolutely cannot have, so will proceed with caution.

[Deadlift1]

A massage therapist I saw would share information about his personal life. For instance, his reason for being in the business was because his partner wouldn't sleep with him. Then next time he added that his partner was abusive. And then you realize this sounds like a soap opera. Because in some cases it is. With Cliffhangers etc. Why? To keep u as a frequent client coming back for more. I went back a couple of times because he was an awesome LMT. Be careful and watch for the hook in some cases.

[robberbaron4u]

Sweet potato pie and hush my mouth! Give the boy the keys to your automobile, the title to your condo, and, as a "kicker", your check book, and be done with it. When he is done with you, get back to me as I can recommend a good social worker to you.

[MikeBiDude]

Sweet potato pie and hush my mouth!

Let's get it right, "shut my mouth", yes?

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/6958/

[+ nycman]

Let's get it right, "shut my mouth", yes?

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/6958/

 

If we're gonna get all technical on the lyrics...let's get them perfect:

 

"Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth"

[MikeBiDude]

If we're gonna get all technical on the lyrics...let's get them perfect:

 

"Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth"

Like in the link I provided?

[Bayman4Fun]

Getting attached to your escort

[Good Grief]

Let's link this thread to this thread: https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/help.124268/