Are HE mandatory with gay massages?

[Jose305]

Probably a WTF question but here goes. Are HE endings for all gay massages a given expectation? What if you just want a real therapeutic massage given by a hot man and that's it - no "extra" ending. It seems even licensed guys automatically go for the "extra." I actually had a masseur get a bit upset when I declined the "extra" even though I paid him his full rate.

[+ EVdude]

Just say no! And if you know going in that you don't want an HE, best to set the stage upfront. I have a few go to guys that are strictly therapeutic - no HEs offered or expected. And yes there are times where I was expected an HE and didn't get one.

[+ 7829V]

If the massage is good, and the masseur and I are friendly to each other, I am OK with no HE.

But if the massage is not that good... I expect a HE.

[+ TheBigO]

@Jose305, maybe you were just his type

 

When I first started before I even knew to expect or ask for a HE, I remember the guy Jeff whispering in my ear if I'd like him to jerk me off. WOW. Wasn't expecting that at all. He was a friend of a friend. That opened a whole new work to me.

 

A bit older (okay 15 yrs) and wiser, I know it is more about my mood and energy level. I generally joke that with Italian heritage I am usually horny and can get hard just with a look or a touch my nip. Given that, I a pretty aware that the HE isn't necessary, needed, or even going to work. I try to communicate that as we get started or when the focus towards to my mid-section. I will say sometimes I appreciate the offer like Jeff did when I first started; other times, not so much--especially if they are a repeat hire.

 

If my buddy starts and nothing happens (limp dick) or I'd prefer for nothing to happen, I usually say something like, wow thanks but let me save us both some energy; nothing is going to happen (a) you have me so relaxed so I am kind of zoned out; (b) I really just needed the massage (you can tell my back and neck were a mess) and the body contact; or © I am really too exhausted from work; you released the stress that I really needed to let go. I do verbalize my appreciation of them and mention how cute/adorable/handsome I find them; it is just BigO's littleo.

 

I have had a few cases where the HE was in process and I would say that I orgasm just no ejaculation as well. A bit more difficult for some of the younger guys to understand...and again I rest assure them they did a great job.

[lets go]

Sometimes you like them to feel your nut sometimes you don't. Just respectfully decline. Hell it saves them some effort and extra laundry. If he is a dick about it don't go back.

[Becket]

This thread makes me smile. Thinking about all the massages I have had......so many different experiences. One thing I am sure of is that massage guys cannot read my mind, nor can I read their's. Theirs? (The grammar committee will have to correct me). Whatever happens, the worst thing for me is when it feels like it wasn't worth the money. The best thing: "I would have paid twice the amount for THAT wonderful hour." So, to answer your question, I don't know what to say. But it was fun thinking about this topic. Thanks.

[+ poolboy48220]

There are a lot of threads about this already, mostly referring to the distinction between therapeutic vs sensual vs erotic massage, and/or the "heal/relax" categorization on masseurfinder. I'd say the consensus here is that there's no consensus among masseurs. I can't imagine a masseur taking it badly if a client turns down the happy ending, it's mostly a case of hoping for a happy ending but finding the massage strictly legit.

[Jose305]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm pretty new to all this so I was just asking. Im usually good at reading people but this guy I just couldn't read him.

[Jose Anmo]

communicate with your masseur. I always like to ask when i book the appt what the massage entails. Good trustworthy masseurs will be very upfront. if they bid around the bush I'd pass.

[+ sniper]

If you are someone who will never want the happy ending, you could always work into the conversation something about a fictional boyfriend and say you're strictly monpgamous and a therapeutic massage is as far as you allow each other to go.

[MartyB]

communicate with your masseur. I always like to ask when i book the appt what the massage entails. Good trustworthy masseurs will be very upfront. if they bid around the bush I'd pass.

Exactly. I always prefer an erotic massage and ask what that entails. I pretty much get the answer I need to make a decision whether to book the masseur or not. I think masseurs on masseurfinder.com are being very careful not to allude to escorting or erotic elements in their ads for obvious reasons. That's why research and getting the facts before hand are the rules to go by.

[Jose305]

Thanks guys for all the inside scoop! From what I read so far on these forums the "relax" section in masseurfinder is where the escorts & erotic stuff is hidden. In that section I've seen key words like "hot muscular body" lots of "soft" sexual innuendos hidden throughout and no one appears licensed. So as you guys pointed out communication is key and asks questions - beforehand!

[+ 7829V]

Thanks guys for all the inside scoop! From what I read so far on these forums the "relax" section in masseurfinder is where the escorts & erotic stuff is hidden. In that section I've seen key words like "hot muscular body" lots of "soft" sexual innuendos hidden throughout and no one appears licensed. So as you guys pointed out communication is key and asks questions - beforehand!

But also several masseurs, do not like to discuss details beforehand, that is 'sexual' details.

[fratphysicals]

I would say it's never a guarantee but definitely more common with gay massages. For me, if I'm going to be nude with my goods hanging out, I want to see their goods and get a HE. After I got my first, I can't have a massage without it now....that's the only challenge.

[fratphysicals]

Thanks guys for all the inside scoop! From what I read so far on these forums the "relax" section in masseurfinder is where the escorts & erotic stuff is hidden. In that section I've seen key words like "hot muscular body" lots of "soft" sexual innuendos hidden throughout and no one appears licensed. So as you guys pointed out communication is key and asks questions - beforehand!

Most may not appear licensed on that site but I'd argue that a good amount advertising actually are licensed CMTs. A good amount of them used to work in spas and want more freedom to practice independently. It's also significantly more lucrative for them.

[Capitano]

Exactly. I always prefer an erotic massage and ask what that entails. I pretty much get the answer I need to make a decision whether to book the masseur or not. I think masseurs on masseurfinder.com are being very careful not to allude to escorting or erotic elements in their ads for obvious reasons. That's why research and getting the facts before hand are the rules to go by.

 

I think the best and pretty much the only place to get accurate info is this site. You can ask the masseur before making your first appointment, and you'll get an accurate description with some probability, but you can also scare them away, or they can give you inaccurate or misleading info. The rationale being that you can fool many people once, so it's a good idea to be careful and keep in mind that "grain of salt," especially when dealing with masseurs who keep moving all the time. And those whose English is not very good.

 

It is remarkable how the distinction between therapeutic and relaxing on masseurfinder has become meaningless. The categories are a little better on rentmasseur but even there some will list as erotic something that's merely sensual and some will offer pretty much all the extras under sensual. And the darn thing is that trying to clarify things by calling or texting runs into the problem outlined above.

[Jose Anmo]

Also if u want strictly therapeutic massages. U should look in heal section. Why pay for erotic services without HE when therapeutic is cheaper.

[kyleham]

Recently I was looking for strictly a therapeutic massage and I looked in the heal section. Yes, it was that plus more. Totally unexpected and this guy was hot. More than I expected and left very happy!

[Dmitri]

All of the guys in the "Heal" section are all buttoned up with shirts on (MF requires all Heal photos to be clothed). But those exact same masseurs almost always have a "Relax" ad with no shirt and get more suggestive in their Relax text. Most of them have the same rates on each section, which leads me to believe that the "Heal" section is a joke. It is just another section for most of the masseurs to advertise on....even though they are willing to get more sensual on either section. Wow, the games everyone has to play on these massage sites since the Rentboy episode

[jeezifonly]

Be upfront, either when booking or when massage begins - that you are not looking for release, but some sensual elements are fine, or whatever your limits are at that time. If you have done research you'll get a sense of their level of training and years of experience, and be able to ask for what you want. Re MF Heal vs Relax, the latter means simply that there will be some sensual (beyond a high-end spa therapeutic) elements. That can range - from him simply being nude with no HE, to full-on fucking. Read the ad. Search this site for reviews. You're working in the easier direction,at least, as it's always easier to ask for less effort rather than more...

[Jose305]

From what I can decipher so far - if you want real therapeutic massage go to a real spa, if you want massage with "extras" use masseurfinder period. I'll just have to make sure if I use masseurfinder again I'm not tired that day

[Dmitri]

Bingo, Jose305....that is the magic answer

[+ HornyRetiree]

I always have a private communication with any new masseur -- as I only want nude on nude and if they won't massage nude there is no further discussion -- then I discuss the fact I am looking for someone who is not afraid of the root chakra/groin and will massage me without worry of what touches, rubs, pokes me during the massage -- I can quickly find out that at least I, if not both of us, will ejaculate. Sometimes the masseurs hold back as they have more appts -- last one gets the load:)

 

Have one I use now who is very sensual and erotic - I don't use him for the body massage - I use him for the extended prostate massage - with ejaculation at the very end . He enjoys touch but doesn't ejaculate -- loves men's bodies but has arrangement with wife where he only uses his hands -- he is skilled enough that that is fine.

[+ pitman]

When I was younger an erotic massage naturally and inevitably ended with me cumming. As I have gotten older, this is more difficult to achieve. There have been several times where, while receiving an excellent and "stimulating" massage, I didn't get hard as quickly as I formerly did, or maybe not at all. Sometimes at the end, the masseur had a death grip on my cock with both of us desperately working to make me ejaculate. I found this transformed a beautiful and relaxing experience into a frustrating task. I still enjoy erotic massage, and I tell the masseur he can do anything with any part of my body that he deems appropriate, but not to worry about making me cum. With this approach I will have a happy ending without any cleanup needed.

[+ HornyRetiree]

When I was younger an erotic massage naturally and inevitably ended with me cumming. As I have gotten older, this is more difficult to achieve. There have been several times where, while receiving an excellent and "stimulating" massage, I didn't get hard as quickly as I formerly did, or maybe not at all. Sometimes at the end, the masseur had a death grip on my cock with both of us desperately working to make me ejaculate. I found this transformed a beautiful and relaxing experience into a frustrating task. I still enjoy erotic massage, and I tell the masseur he can do anything with any part of my body that he deems appropriate, but not to worry about making me cum. With this approach I will have a happy ending without any cleanup needed.

 

 

at 69, I still ejaculate though my loads are much smaller and I no longer shoot over my shoulder! Half way to the navel is a good shot and usually just down the shaft if not being taken orally.

 

up until my mid 50s, in a good massage, I would ejacualte spontaneously while TOTALLY flaccid - not even a semi - powerful orgasms with absolutely no direct stimulation - masseur no where near my groin when it happened -- it is all energy -- and back then when the massage started the energy swirling, I would ejaculate -- now it takes hands or mouth.