What should I do?

[Mydavid]

I go to an escort regularly, already more than 10 times. I always have a good time with him, and I always pay him a good tip.

Last time, I went to the bank to withdraw some money before I went to him. I put some in an envelop for him, the rest in my wallet. I had a great time with him, but when I got back home, I found the money in my wallet became less, I believe he is the only one who had a chance to take my money. I always take a shower with my stuff left in his bedroom before I leave from his place, and he never goes into the bathroom with me together because the shower has no enough room for two guys.

 

What should I do?

1. Ask him about that? (Give he a chance to explain or argue)

2. Never come back and block him without saying anything?

3. Never come back and block him after telling him the reason? (means he has no chance to explain or argue)

4. Continue to meet him but with caution?

[+ sync]

I go to an escort regularly, already more than 10 times. I always have a good time with him, and I always pay him a good tip.

Last time, I went to the bank to withdraw some money before I went to him. I put some in an envelop for him, the rest in my wallet. I had a great time with him, but when I got back home, I found the money in my wallet became less, I believe he is the only one who had a chance to take my money. I always take a shower with my stuff left in his bedroom before I leave from his place, and he never goes into the bathroom with me together because the shower has no enough room for two guys.

 

What should I do?

1. Ask him about that? (Give he a chance to explain or argue)

2. Never come back and block him without saying anything?

3. Never come back and block him after telling him the reason? (means he has no chance to explain or argue)

4. Continue to meet him but with caution?

 

Considering that there have been 10+ good-time meets, I would first be very certain that I had correctly counted the funds. Establishing a fulfilling "regular" is something special, it would be a shame for that relationship to dissolve from a fixable misunderstanding.

 

If I determined that there was most likely theft, but not certain, I would opt for #4 "continue to meet him but with caution" for one or two more times to "test" for certainty.

 

Of course, if theft is definitely established, #3.

 

I hope your situation is resolved amicably.

[jawjateck]

I believe he is the only one who had a chance to take my money.

 

What should I do?

1. Ask him about that? (Give he a chance to explain or argue)

2. Never come back and block him without saying anything?

3. Never come back and block him after telling him the reason? (means he has no chance to explain or argue)

4. Continue to meet him but with caution?

 

If you are uncertain, #4.

If you are certain, #2. Exposing a thief can bring on additional woes, particularly if you are a private person, who shared a tad too much personal info with the criminal.

[LADoug1]

Definitely #1. Communication is king. And consider the chance you made the error yourself. You'll never have a great experience unless you clear this up.

 

I think too that it's kind of a big problem. He'll most likely say he didn't take it and you'll never know if you made the mistake.

 

Quite a quandary indeed.

[rvwnsd]

That IS a quandary. What is the probability that you accidentally put more in his envelope than you intended? I'm asking because one time I did that with a regular - I accidentally gave him $100 more than I intended and did not notice it until halfway home to San Diego from LA. He texted me the following day when he counted the cash. In this case, he did not think it was a tip because the amount was so high, but if it was $20 or $40 it could seem like a tip.

 

I'd probably mention it to him, ask if the fee in the envelope was correct, and see what he says.

[MGTOW_Tx]

I go to an escort regularly, already more than 10 times. I always have a good time with him, and I always pay him a good tip.

Last time, I went to the bank to withdraw some money before I went to him. I put some in an envelop for him, the rest in my wallet. I had a great time with him, but when I got back home, I found the money in my wallet became less, I believe he is the only one who had a chance to take my money. I always take a shower with my stuff left in his bedroom before I leave from his place, and he never goes into the bathroom with me together because the shower has no enough room for two guys.

 

What should I do?

1. Ask him about that? (Give he a chance to explain or argue)

2. Never come back and block him without saying anything?

3. Never come back and block him after telling him the reason? (means he has no chance to explain or argue)

4. Continue to meet him but with caution?

 

Terrible situation, #1 Always ask what your gut says and trust it if your used to that also if your not sure do not confront because i find many people do not respond well to that. If you have your doubts and are willing to take a calculated loss then I would see him again though if money went missing again I would drop all communication...this really depends on your take of things though and your willingness to confront.

 

If you trust you can have an honest conversation with the person then do so but i would tread carefully....Just my opinion.

[corymonroe]

I always take a shower with my stuff left in his bedroom

 

Sorry to say, this was your first mistake, and in my opinion, you created the tension you now feel.

 

Since when do we think we know someone after 10 or 20 visits? I've lived with friends who stole from me, and I learned about not knowing people the hard way.

 

Whenever I have to remove my clothing, I don't take extra anything to that appointment. If by some chance I do have to carry cash or a credit card, it never leaves my sight. Why would someone not take his clothing with him to the shower?

 

Since you can't prove what happened to the extra money, you can't really say it was him. However, if I had doubt about a possible theft, you can be sure I won't be able to have sex with that person ever again.

 

If you confront him, the relationship will never be the same. Sounds like the good times just came to an end.

[MGTOW_Tx]

Sorry to say, this was your first mistake, and in my opinion, you created the tension you now feel.

 

Since when do we think we know someone after 10 or 20 visits? I've lived with friends who stole from me, and I learned about not knowing people the hard way.

 

Whenever I have to remove my clothing, I don't take extra anything to that appointment. If by some chance I do have to carry cash or a credit card, it never leaves my sight. Why would someone not take his clothing with him to the shower?

 

Since you can't prove what happened to the extra money, you can't really say it was him. However, if I had doubt about a possible theft, you can be sure I won't be able to have sex with that person ever again.

 

If you confront him, the relationship will never be the same. Sounds like the good times just came to an end.

 

Well said...agreed 100%

[MassageDrew]

As long as you're certain of your money count then you should bring it up. That's not good especially for a business where it is all about trust. I wouldn't go back for sure as you'll always have that doubt about him.

 

If you're right, maybe he thought you wouldnt notice after you've been trusting him all this time. That's low though.

[down_to_business]

No win situation. Been there and wrote about it on these forums.

 

You confront him things are never the same. You do nothing, things are never the same. Guess what, things are never the same. Walk away, and take the precautions to never allow something like this to happen again with future hires. He does not need to be confronted about the reason, he knows what he did. He probably has done it before and to others.

[Mydavid]

What is the probability that you accidentally put more in his envelope than you intended?

I didn't give the envelope to him, I took money out from the envelop and gave the money to him, so he could know how much it was.

I gave him large bills and kept small bills in my wallet, he took some of those small bills.

[Mydavid]

Why would someone not take his clothing with him to the shower?

I was naked after having sex, and I guess it is too weird if I would put on my clothes and enter the bathroom which connects to the bedroom.

[+ Kufrol]

I've faced a similar situation but took the coward's way out by not confronting him. I can't be 100% certain that a couple of the bills from the ATM didn't stick together, so I've kept my suspicions to myself. If I see him again, and I probably will, I'll make sure to carry only the amount of money I intend to spend. I hate being so deferential, and the comments have helped to clarify my thoughts. Good luck with sorting through this perplexing situation.

[Bearofdistinction]

I go to an escort regularly, already more than 10 times. I always have a good time with him, and I always pay him a good tip.

Last time, I went to the bank to withdraw some money before I went to him. I put some in an envelop for him, the rest in my wallet. I had a great time with him, but when I got back home, I found the money in my wallet became less, I believe he is the only one who had a chance to take my money. I always take a shower with my stuff left in his bedroom before I leave from his place, and he never goes into the bathroom with me together because the shower has no enough room for two guys.

 

What should I do?

1. Ask him about that? (Give he a chance to explain or argue)

2. Never come back and block him without saying anything?

3. Never come back and block him after telling him the reason? (means he has no chance to explain or argue)

4. Continue to meet him but with caution?

 

We all make accounting errors in our lives -- I would give someone you have shared time with the benefit of the doubt once. But for forthcoming time together - I would triple check my allocations and be sure what was in my wallet down to the dollar -- If there is a re-occurrence then it is up to you to: 1) just stop seeing him 2) Confront him 3) Wait for him to reach out to you when he has not heard from you in a while - and tell him or my favorite --

 

4) Check your wallet while there and fully dressed and by the door and see if something is missing and if there is a shortage say -

"Gee, I did not know that you raised your rates - if you had told me you would not have had to feel so badly about yourself going into my wallet to take the upcharge" -- "Take care hun. . . " and walk out

[corymonroe]

I was naked after having sex, and I guess it is too weird if I would put on my clothes and enter the bathroom which connects to the bedroom.

You wouldn't put your clothes on immediately after sex. Of course, that would be weird. But it would not be weird to gather your pants, shirt, and underwear, and take them with you to the bathroom, so that you could exit the bathroom fully or mostly dressed after your shower. This is what I would do if I were a guest in someone's home.

 

It's easy to understand why any gay man would want to stay naked as long as possible with an escort present. It's easy to understand why you felt comfortable and trusting. However, for practical reasons, there are some things a gay man should never do.

 

This reminds me of those public service announcements during 80's porn movies, the ones that played in theaters, where they showed a guy getting a blow job in the back room behind the movie screen. While experiencing a great suck-off, the guy's wallet got lifted. The general message was, when you're in the throws of sex don't think with the wrong head.

[caliguy]

I've faced a similar situation but took the coward's way out by not confronting him. I can't be 100% certain that a couple of the bills from the ATM didn't stick together, so I've kept my suspicions to myself. If I see him again, and I probably will, I'll make sure to carry only the amount of money I intend to spend. I hate being so deferential, and the comments have helped to clarify my thoughts. Good luck with sorting through this perplexing situation.

So lets see. 1. The bills stuck together but he never mentioned it later. 2. He stole it intentionally. None of those scenarios are good.

[Chuckball]

Perhaps I am too trusting but if you like this guy, try giving him the benefit of the doubt. Next time put the regular rate in an envelope. Keep the tip in your wallet knowing exactly how much is in your wallet before showing up for the encounter. When leaving go to your wallet to make the tip. If there is less in you wallet than you know was there, just say " I see you already took your tip." No accusation and try not to be upset. Just leave and never go back.

[jawjateck]

The bills stuck together but he never mentioned it later.

 

Most tips I've given have never been acknowledged, so I don't find it unusual if a provider assumed a stuck bill was a tip. One of the reasons I smirk with every "tip" thread that pops up, it's usually much ado about nothing.

[rvwnsd]

I didn't give the envelope to him, I took money out from the envelop and gave the money to him, so he could know how much it was.

I gave him large bills and kept small bills in my wallet, he took some of those small bills.

Got it. That's a damn shame.

[jawjateck]

I didn't give the envelope to him, I took money out from the envelop and gave the money to him, so he could know how much it was.

I gave him large bills and kept small bills in my wallet, he took some of those small bills.

 

Perhaps, you should schedule another session. Take the minimum cash for the session, and get some tips from @whipped guy about how to have a good time before the meeting. Ya know, a little bit of BDSM fun and spank his behind.

[LADoug1]

That IS a quandary. What is the probability that you accidentally put more in his envelope than you intended? I'm asking because one time I did that with a regular - I accidentally gave him $100 more than I intended and did not notice it until halfway home to San Diego from LA. He texted me the following day when he counted the cash. In this case, he did not think it was a tip because the amount was so high, but if it was $20 or $40 it could seem like a tip.

 

I'd probably mention it to him, ask if the fee in the envelope was correct, and see what he says.

 

How great that he called you! What a professional. A personal question: what did you do when he told you about it? PM me if you prefer. Thanks.

[rvwnsd]

How great that he called you! What a professional. A personal question: what did you do when he told you about it? PM me if you prefer. Thanks.

I know, right? There's a reason that I would drive from San Diego to LA to see him. (In fairness, he would come down to SD also)

 

We took the $100 off my next visit. This is the same guy who, after leaving my place, realized that our playdate lasted less than 45 minutes (I came very quickly) and called me to apologize. He offered to do a two-hour session for the price of one. When I booked the next session he reminded me that it was 2 hours for the price of one. That next session lasted a lot longer than two hours and he refused payment for the additional time. He no longer escorts and I miss him a lot. Very stand-up guy.

[+ MostlyLurking]

My vote: continue to see him, with caution; a time will come when it's right to talk about it.

 

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I am taken advantage of. But always, I live in a better world, surrounded by awkward, frightened, well-meaning oafs who just want to be happy, and not by evil people wishing me harm.

[MGTOW_Tx]

I've faced a similar situation but took the coward's way out by not confronting him. I can't be 100% certain that a couple of the bills from the ATM didn't stick together, so I've kept my suspicions to myself. If I see him again, and I probably will, I'll make sure to carry only the amount of money I intend to spend. I hate being so deferential, and the comments have helped to clarify my thoughts. Good luck with sorting through this perplexing situation.

 

Was that the coward's way out or the wise move because depending on your situation that might have been the latter and not the former.

[MGTOW_Tx]

I know, right? There's a reason that I would drive from San Diego to LA to see him. (In fairness, he would come down to SD also)

 

We took the $100 off my next visit. This is the same guy who, after leaving my place, realized that our playdate lasted less than 45 minutes (I came very quickly) and called me to apologize. He offered to do a two-hour session for the price of one. When I booked the next session he reminded me that it was 2 hours for the price of one. That next session lasted a lot longer than two hours and he refused payment for the additional time. He no longer escorts and I miss him a lot. Very stand-up guy.

 

That guy sounds like catch