"It Gets Better...Unless You are Fat"

[+ newguy]

Ever see this post, which went viral some time ago?

 

NG

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/it-gets-better-unless-youre-fat?utm_term=.eqjmPlj1a#.ycPJmP0ND

[+ sniper]

I can say I definitely experienced a sexual no-man's-land between about 235 and 280, at which point the chasers came after me. (And interestingly, some of the chasers were hotter than anyone who showed interest in me when I was relatively buff and young).

Similarly between mid-30s and early 40s.

[+ Eric Hassan]

I can say I definitely experienced a sexual no-man's-land between about 235 and 280, at which point the chasers came after me. (And interestingly, some of the chasers were hotter than anyone who showed interest in me when I was relatively buff and young).

Similarly between mid-30s and early 40s.

 

I would be interested to see @Kevin Slater make these numbers into an inverted bell curve.

 

It makes me sad that these days it feels like being anything other than a white, straight, Christian man poses a challenge and makes one subject to all kinds of derision and harsh, negative judgment.

[N13]

There is one thing worse than being gay and overweight and that is being less-endowed also. Over the years (many, many) my weight has fluctuated. Thin or fat if you are under-endowed you will be ignored when the clothes come off by an unnaturally large percentage of the population. Not to say that I have not had great encounters.......but it is amazing how many were cut short because I do not have a porn star dick. The exclusion by a very large segment of gay men based on physical appearance is staggering. We can be our own worst enemies.

[caliguy]

There is one thing worse than being gay and overweight and that is being less-endowed also. Over the years (many, many) my weight has fluctuated. Thin or fat if you are under-endowed you will be ignored when the clothes come off by an unnaturally large percentage of the population. Not to say that I have not had great encounters.......but it is amazing how many were cut short because I do not have a porn star dick. The exclusion by a very large segment of gay men based on physical appearance is staggering. We can be our own worst enemies.

I agree but there's a reason why you never see over weight escorts. If we walked the talk then there would a market for them too but I don't see that. The buff in shape guys are almost exclusively preferred.

[+ OliverSaks]

I'm very cognizant of the cosmic absurdity of the body that I've been given by nature. It isn't lost on me that I wouldn't be able to do this type of gig without my looks; I try not to take this for granted.

 

It is always interesting to me how many bigger guys still have their own preferences for slim / muscular / "insert traditional standard of beauty"

One bear friend spoke to me of his inability to find young twinkish guys who were into him - he was quite bummed about this and felt like it was so unfair/unjust.

 

I reminded him that his natural attraction also did not lead him to other bear / big guys like himself. He was entitled to feel sad about his lack of success in the dating/mating field, but he was guilty of the same type of attraction bias that was pointed in his direction.

 

(still wish I had a bigger dick, tho )

[corndog]

I too have grappled with these self-image issues. However, one of my best hiring experiences happened when I hired and then got to know a very well-known porn star escort. His body was close to perfect, and yet he still battled with self esteem issues, body dysmorphia and constant self-critism. It made me realize that our self image comes from within, and it doesn't matter how much you diet and how much time you spend in the gym, if you're inclined to see yourself as fat or unattractive, that's what's going to be looking at you in the mirror.

[Bucky]

I'm gonna get a hella buncha hate mail for this AND dozens of excuses, but...

 

Being overweight is generally "fixable". In most cases (note that I said most), the fix is simple math. Calories burned > Calories absorbed.

ie.. run (or walk) around the block one more time and eat smarter.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm as guilty as the many. I'm not usually attracted to guys with my type of physique. Often they don't have to be a lot skinnier though. I wish I could get excited about guys my size. These days though it's difficult enough to get junior erect at the thought of guys I like much less those I'm not really attracted to. I even have trouble masturbating these days.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm gonna get a hella buncha hate mail for this AND dozens of excuses, but...

 

Being overweight is generally "fixable". In most cases (note that I said most), the fix is simple math. Calories burned > Calories absorbed.

 

Here is the first- I'll agree that it might be 'fixable' in a large proportion of cases. But it ain't easy-possibly to the extent of being close to impossible. I'm not saying it can't be done. But tell me-do you really think the majority of overweight people want to be overweight or are happy about being overweight? Let's take a look at someone who had access to the best fitness experts money can buy. Do you remember Oprah's yo-yoing weight? If someone like her had trouble, then that shows that getting skinny is one of the most difficult things to do.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

 

(still wish I had a bigger dick, tho )

 

To a five incher like me:(, you're a pornstar g-d.

 

Gman

[Bucky]

I'll agree it ain't easy, but next to impossible I'm not buying. Few people "want" to be overweight and I'd say most are unhappy about it. Even Oprah admits to loving chips and bread that she continues to consume - albeit less. She also dislikes sweaty exercise.

Choices have to be made and these are the choices: Move more and eat smarter. Or not.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'll agree it ain't easy, but next to impossible I ain't buying. Few people "want" to be overweight and I'd say most are unhappy about it. But even Oprah admits to loving chips and bread and a bunch of other really bad stuff that she continues to consume albeit less. She also says she dislikes sweaty exercise. Choices have to be made, but indeed they are choices. Almost to the point of choosing to be fat or not. Get off the couch. Move. Eat smart.

 

But you see different things are impossible for different people. A backflip is impossible for me but not for a gymnast. Saying what's possible for an individual is a lot different from saying what's probable. For those who are slim-in many cases it's like describing the color pink to a totally color-blind person. And besides science has even proved that the way large people process calories is different than skinny people. There seems to be a set point that the body likes. Even on reducing diets the body will try just about anything to maintain its set weight. Yes you can force the body to lose by starvation diets. You put up with a lifetime of hunger pains/cravings and see how you like it.

 

Gman

[N13]

Choices have to be made, but indeed they are choices. Almost to the point of choosing to be fat or not. Get off the couch. Move. Eat smart.

 

It is very easy for 'normal' weight people to believe that it is a choice to be fat. It is, but only to an extent. Some people level off at a weight (whether thin or hefty) and no matter what they eat (within reason) that is where they stay. Fat people unfortunately have a perfect working thyroid - i.e. we retain the weight to cover the lean (cavemen hunting for food) periods. I have been very thin and very heavy but my weight fluctuates and heads for that "normal for me weight." I usually don't go over it, or under it, if I am eating a normal diet (no starving and no stuffing myself). The base rate seems to go up at five year intervals. Would that it would be so easy as just dieting and exercising!

[Bucky]

Sorry Gman, that's an excuse. I've been a personal trainer for a long time. You show me your weekly routine and what you eat and I'll show you how to lose weight.

[+ Gar1eth]

Sorry Gman, that's an excuse. I've been a personal trainer for a long time. You show me your weekly routine and what you eat and I'll show you how to lose weight.

 

You possibly may. I'll admit my diet isn't the best. But along with that I'm lousy at sports, and I hate exercise. I can't really think of one exercise I like to do. Most of them give me a headache. And if I do them at a level that gives me no headache, I have to start at such a slow pace that I never see any results. Impossible for me-no. Improbable-most likely. Again for those who can-it's like trying to describe the proverbial elephant to a group of sight-impaired people.

 

Gman

[+ purplekow]

Sorry Gman, that's an excuse. I've been a personal trainer for a long time. You show me your weekly routine and what you eat and I'll show you how to lose weight.

And right here is the point made in the article.

[N13]

Sorry Gman, that's an excuse. I've been a personal trainer for a long time. You show me your weekly routine and what you eat and I'll show you how to lose weight.

 

Not true! Some people cannot change their body through exercise.. whenever I have tried I have failed because the trainer pushed me further than my body was able to absorb and I ended up incapacitated. This was true on at least 5 occasions. Again, yes you can starve and lose the weight, but the diet becomes the norm and the weight starts going back to its desired plateau whether you continue the same diet or not.

[+ quoththeraven]

I'm gonna get a hella buncha hate mail for this AND dozens of excuses, but...

 

Being overweight is generally "fixable". In most cases (note that I said most), the fix is simple math. Calories burned > Calories absorbed.

ie.. run (or walk) around the block one more time and eat smarter.

Scientific studies say...not really.

[+ sniper]

They did a study on some of the Biggest Loser contestants who gained back weight, taking them into the lab and getting their complete caloric intake and expenditure. They found that one of the guys who got back up to around 300 was consuming 900 calories a day LESS than they expected based on his weight. When you work out more, your heart becomes so much more efficient that you burn fewer calories at rest. And when you hit a certain weight level your body does fight to return to it.

[+ Funguy]

Some people must accept their genetic body type, down to even the type of muscle fibers they have and the weight which goes with it but they also must strive to be healthy at their weight/size.

 

As a physician i have found that just a few small changes in the diet, and a bit more exercise SUCH AS WALKING UP TO 5 MILES A DAY (eg 2.5 miles out and you are then forced to turn around and do the other 2.5) will not necessarily drop your weight BUT it will keep you more healthy. I have found some 280 pounders are a lot more healthy, at least heart-wise, than HWP men and women!

[+ Gar1eth]

Some people must accept their genetic body type, down to even the type of muscle fibers they have and the weight which goes with it but they also must strive to be healthy at their weight/size.

 

As a physucian i have found that just a few small changes in the diet, and a bit more exercise SUCH AS WALKING UP TO 5 MILES A DAY (eg 2.5 miles out and you are then forced to turn around and do the other 2.5) will not necessarily drop your weight BUT it will keep you more healthy. I have found some 280 pounders are a lot more healthy, at least heart-wise, than HWP men and women!

 

There's also that finding about large amounts of internal fat surrounding the organs of some skinny people. Has that held up on further study?

 

Gman

[caliguy]

When you work out more, your heart becomes so much more efficient that you burn fewer calories at rest. And when you hit a certain weight level your body does fight to return to it.

Unless you gain muscle. You'll then burn more calories at rest.

[+ FreshFluff]

In most cases (note that I said most), the fix is simple math. Calories burned > Calories absorbed.

ie..

 

True, but misleading. "Calories out" (RMR) varies widely, even among people who don't exercise. Other people are low on leptin, which regulates appetite, making it harder for them to limit what they eat.

[actor61]

You possibly may. I'll admit my diet isn't the best. But along with that I'm lousy at sports, and I hate exercise. I can't really think of one exercise I like to do. Most of them give me a headache. And if I do them at a level that gives me no headache, I have to start at such a slow pace that I never see any results. Impossible for me-no. Improbable-most likely. Again for those who can-it's like trying to describe the proverbial elephant to a group of sight-impaired people.

 

Gman

It's as simple as taking a walk. That's exercise. Surely walking doesn't give you a headache?