Anti-Depressants or Riding it out?

[Reluctant Daddy]

I've haven't used the service, but there's an internet based therapy/counseling site called Talkspace. If you're hesitant to try full out therapy, this may be a way to dip your toe in the water. I think it's a monthly fee thing rather than per session.

[rvwnsd]

Hey, Mocha -

 

I've struggled with depression my entire life. For years I associated it with situations and would try to change them. Didn't work. Counseling didn't work, either, so I finally talked to my physician (who has treated me for many years) and we decided to go the antidepressant route. He prescribed one that has a minimal amount of sexual side effects and I am happy with the results.

 

...I'm considering going back to my doctor in Denver and getting on some anti-depressants just to help me move on from some of this because I kind of feel frozen. ...

 

This is a great idea. You and your doctor in Denver have a relationship, which you would not have were you to see a doctor in your new hometown of Nashville. The two of you can discuss options for treating your depression.

 

...I've never taken any antidepressants, but I've known people to blackout or not remember certain things. Also the moods and personality swings....

 

I heard the same things and raised those concerns with my doctor. His position was we would monitor my reaction to the meds and adjust if needed. He emphasised the importance of following the directions including warnings about drinking alcohol, mixing the meds with other meds, and avoiding certain over-the-counter medications. Cough syrup containing dextromethorphan interacts with many antidepressants in a very bad way. When I get a cold I now use a homeopathic cough syrup that does not contain that ingredient.

 

...Has anyone ever been on them and went off? Is it addictive or can you get off anytime without side effects?

 

Back in 2002 I started on an antidepressant and the side effects were worse than the depression. They were immediate and I discussed them with my doctor. Given I had only used them for a week, he was comfortable with me discontinuing their use. Now that I have been taking my current meds for four years, we would need to taper off the dosage to minimize side effects. You would need to discuss discontinuing them with your doctor and develop a plan to wean yourself off of them.

 

Regarding the question about them being addictive, they are not "addictive," but rather your body depends on them to carry out a function your body isn't doing by itself. I take a steroid asthma medication. It helps my body perform normal breathing functions by suppressing an immune system response that constricts the airways in my lungs. At this point, discontinuing the medication would discontinue the suppression of the immune system response, my airways would constrict, and I would have a potentially fatal asthma attack. Is that an addiction? No. Is there a high probability of very bad consequences? hell yes!

 

I hope this helps and I hope you find a treatment plan that works for you.

[Mocha]

Thanks everyone for the replies. I wish each time someone "likes" a post, it was worth like 100 points or something. Redeemable for a 10 minute phone sex session or something. I read every post, I will try to respond to each all in one post without quoting each, because it's 2:00 am.

 

Well, now that I've read everything...and HOPING I didn't come across as some psycho who needs mental help; I'm think I'm pretty scared off about taking antiDs. @rvwnsd I'm also more interested in figuring out why I have asthma that has become increasingly persistent and prescription and over-counter meds for it do come into play. I think what you mentioned is called flovent. So I'd want to handle that first before getting on anything else that could be affected by it. Though it's nothing mind altering or sex-affecting thank God.

 

Let me just be clear: I'm not suicidal depressed or use words like "anxiety". I talked to a guy today who couldn't even go to the bear pool party because he was "overwhelmed with anxiety". I'm not at that point. If someone even remotely invites me to do something, I'll go. I'm not so depressed that I can't function normally, but I do tend to be annoyed when I go to bed, and wake up feeling annoyed.

 

I did a couple things this weekend to help distract and kinda get some fresh air. I went to the gay league sports game, as I've done once before. Met some cool people, but the general impression is the same shit I see in general in the Nashville gay scene: If you're not on the team, the vibe was extreme cliquey, not very inviting, close-minded behaviors and attitudes. I'm really the only escort in town, so they try to act dumb and pretend they don't know, but I know these queens out here gossip and talk. As much as I want to meet new people, I don't want the mentality to be transmitted to me.

 

In comparison to other places I've lived: including San Antonio which I've often dubbed one of the bottom worst markets for an escort to live in: Nashville is right alongside it. But hell, I was just in San Antonio last week. They're actually progressing with their gay village area, and it's not as cliquey and conservative as Nashville. Nashville has a whole street for their gay village and nothing is happening. Just the same bitches at the same clubs week after week.

 

The other thing I hate, people in Nashville will tell you they're going to a party, or doing or going somewhere fun. But...NO INVITE. I called a couple people out this weekend for that. 3 people told me they were attending parties, and not 1 single invite extended to me. This has happened every weekend and every holiday I've been here. Why the fuck would someone tell me about a party, and not invite? Even in Denver, as cliquey as it was there and how hard it was at times to meet people...I was going to parties and getting invited to do things within the first year I lived there. These mother suckers out here....pea minded, not used to meeting new people or something. And then, when I suggest to them that I'd be open to go, they're like, "oh I wish I could but it's just neighbors". Or "he's funny about having new people over" or just no response at all. Like, WHY TELL ME? It's like either they're grimy liars who are tricking around and trying to be secretive about things, or people here have no concept of inviting someone new into their circle. You have to have lived here for 100 years and all grew up on the same slave plantation just to get invited to anything by people here. And when the gays do invite, it's always some cheap, low class, last minute stuff. Then, they expect to go dutch. So, I rushed out my way to meet them, that they suggested and invited; but they can't pick up the check? Of course, I'm always am prepared to pay for mine...but those types usually do that to be slick: they invite just to have some free arm candy. They won't get a a second chance to swindle me.

 

I'm just over it. Nashville should have never been more than just a pass thru gateway city. I knew I didn't want to move here. But circumstances forced me here, and I'm mad as all hell. Sure, there's some good clients here who have been very generous. However, on a grand scale of things it's not enough to make the area remotely sustainable, and that generosity certainly failed to make it into the 'scene' here.

[rvwnsd]

Well, now that I've read everything...and HOPING I didn't come across as some psycho who needs mental help...

 

@Mocha, although I can only speak for myself, you did not come across this way. You came across as someone who is experiencing a legitimate medical issue and has asked for advice. That's what people do - they ask friends for their perspectives and advice.

 

...I'm think I'm pretty scared off about taking antiDs. @rvwnsd I'm also more interested in figuring out why I have asthma that has become increasingly persistent and prescription and over-counter meds for it do come into play. I think what you mentioned is called flovent. ...

 

Flovent is one of the steroid inhalers. I use Advair, but the concept is the same.

 

I'd want to handle that first before getting on anything else that could be affected by it. Though it's nothing mind altering or sex-affecting thank God....

 

Smart move! Earlier this year I thought my antidepressant was no longer working (it happens). At the same time, my asthma was flaring up and the meds I was taking were not controlling it. When I have trouble breathing or become out of breath when talking I develop symptoms of anxiety and panic. Once we had the asthma back under control there were no more symptoms of anxiety and panic. Granted, that's not what you are experiencing, but the asthma issues could be exacerbating the emotional effects of the way you are being treated by people in your new home city.

 

PS: Your asthma could be flaring up due to something in your new environment.

 

...Let me just be clear: I'm not suicidal depressed ...

 

THAT is good to hear. Thank you for clarifying. Your previous post didn't portray you in that way, but it is good to hear you say it.

 

...If you're not on the team, the vibe was extreme cliquey, not very inviting, close-minded behaviors and attitudes. I'm really the only escort in town, so they try to act dumb and pretend they don't know, but I know these queens out here gossip and talk. As much as I want to meet new people, I don't want the mentality to be transmitted to me....

 

That has been my experience in San Diego. People do not want to let new folks into their circle. Interestingly, when travelling to LA (!!) and San Francisco, I find people to be more friendly and welcoming. San Francisco more so. It sucks.

 

...Why the fuck would someone tell me about a party, and not invite? Even in Denver, as cliquey as it was there and how hard it was at times to meet people...I was going to parties and getting invited to do things within the first year I lived there. These mother suckers out here....pea minded, not used to meeting new people or something. And then, when I suggest to them that I'd be open to go, they're like, "oh I wish I could but it's just neighbors". Or "he's funny about having new people over" or just no response at all. Like, WHY TELL ME? ...

 

That's a very good question. I never experienced that in Chicago. In San Diego, folks just don't let new folks in. Very strange. I don't expect to be invited to every event someone tells me about, but when someone says "Oh, you would love 'xyz' event" and then doesn't extend the invite, it seems very strange.

 

...I'm just over it. Nashville should have never been more than just a pass thru gateway city. I knew I didn't want to move here. But circumstances forced me here, and I'm mad as all hell. Sure, there's some good clients here who have been very generous. However, on a grand scale of things it's not enough to make the area remotely sustainable, and that generosity certainly failed to make it into the 'scene' here.

 

I would be over it, too. Maybe there is a way for you to go back to Denver or find a different place to live. I'm fortunate insofar as my job is moving me someplace else, so I will soon be leaving Bland Diego behind me. Hopefully, you will find a way to improve your situation. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent or bounce ideas off someone.

[TruthBTold]

If you do go to a psychiatrist and get prescribed an anti-depressant (no matter the dosage) if you decide that you just don't need or want it anymore, do not just stop taking it. You must titrate off the med until you are no longer taking it. Of course, you should do this in consultation with your doctor but if there are circumstances where you are going to do it on your own do not just stop taking it all at one time. There can be serious side effects. The best thing of course is to do it with the help of your doctor.

[pubic_assistance]

So sorry to hear you're going through so much negative emotional energy. I went through a rough patch during a divorce about 12 years ago. Also felt very alone and struggling to re-analyze my friendships. I was prescribed Zoloft and it really took the edge off and got me over that hump. I highly recommend you seek the advice of professionals before you begin any course of anti-depressants. I simultaneously hired a psychotherapist to help me in my re-evaluations of my life going forward by unraveling my past experiences going back to childhood. I also was being monitored by a psychiatrist who made sure the dosage was both effective and without side effects. In my case I was on it for six months and managed to start feeling better and able to manage without...so another month and a half of coming down off of it, again while being closely monitored by both professionals. It's always advisable to admit when you're feeling helpless and look for professional help. Happy to P.M. with you if you want more information in private. Good luck.