what is the point of putting "Ask" in your profile?

[+ glennnn]

This comment makes so much sense to me. So many threads in this forum, including this one, show how people assume stereotypes and make other assumptions based on the gay, straight and bi labels. For example, many assume that "gay" means that the escort will "enjoy" sucking you. Sexual dynamics between two people are much more varied and individual than can be described with these restrictive labels. If you're interested in an escort and he has tagged his sexual orientation as "ask", is it so hard to ask? Or would you rather just hang onto your assumptions and stereotypes?

 

No, it's not hard to ask! And I do! That wasn't the point of starting this thread. The point was politely asking for information about the "ask" designation. No judgement or disrespect was given or meant and the explanations were excellent. But am I crazy to think that a man who identifies himself as gay just might be more into cock sucking than one who identifies himself as straight? I might have an easy time searching for a straight man to fuck, but probably not. The labels should not be assumptions or stereotypes, but they are helpful indicators of possible affinity. Why are you frequenting this forum? Did you assume there would be a lot of gay men here? Did you accept the stereotype that the posters would be discussing some sexual issues? Do you..."hang on to your assumptions and stereotypes?" Or do you, like everyone, use "labels" to understand the world and make basic decisions.

 

Of course everyone is different and one label doesn't fit all. Of course I'm going to discuss what activities we might pursue before hiring, but do the escorts really want me to ask a million questions about everything from hand jobs, to kissing, to rates to oral, or can I do some preliminary screening to save us both a lot of time if we are not a good match? I understand that some straight men like anal stimulation, I understand that "bisexual" covers a huge possibility of behavior, I understand that not all gay men like sucking cock. However, is it all right that I chose to identify as gay, and find that most of my favorite partners do, too and use that information to make MY personal decisions?

 

Chill out, people! Nobody is out to get you. Your attacks on other folks' opinions are over the top.

[killianjamesnyc]

Sometimes (or even mostly) a good fuck is all we need. Hence our need to know straight away what the rate is rather than go through the "ask me" routine.

 

No matter which way you slice it, if you simply come out and ask for the rate, Someone like myself would still need to know details.

Unless you straight up say "Hey dude, i just need a good fuck, whats the rate?"

 

If you cut to the chase, no worries.

[+ honcho]

Could be. But when an escort enthusiastically sticks his tongue in my mouth, I believe he is probably gay.

 

I'd believe it means that he enjoys having sex with men; although I'm not one of them, I could also believe there are guys who enjoy having sex with men who also enjoy having sex with women.

[Rudynate]

If I contact you, you tell me and then I don't hire you, it was a waste of time, and I feel guilty for bothering you.

 

 

He's screened you as somebody who isn't likely to hire him. That isn't a waste of time. In my business, I offer a free 15- minute telephone consultation, during which I get to ask the caller qualifying questions. I don't find it a waste of my time to find out whether a caller is a good prospect or not.

[Becket]

Good question, and thanks to the escorts for responding. Like many I have previously been put off by the "ask" designation. But I understand it a little bit more now. It still is a little intimidating.

[+ SundayZip]

I'm not at all put off by the "ask" question, whether it be for rates or for sexual orientation. The escort is inviting me to ask which means he's open to a dialog and a free exchange of information -- and I see that as a very good thing.

[+ SundayZip]

... Do you..."hang on to your assumptions and stereotypes?" Or do you, like everyone, use "labels" to understand the world and make basic decisions.

 

It's hard to get away from the use of labels and as you suggest, I sometimes make judgments based on a label when it's the only information available to me. Possibly the only difference between you and me is that you are more comfortable with the use of labels. I find them restrictive.

[+ glennnn]

It's hard to get away from the use of labels and as you suggest, I sometimes make judgments based on a label when it's the only information available to me. Possibly the only difference between you and me is that you are more comfortable with the use of labels. I find them restrictive.

 

Peace, brother. I do, too. Maybe it's an age difference. As a hippy, I sought to eliminate all labeling and stereotyping from my thinking, but 50 years later..... Im still working on it. Please keep trying and challenging the status quo. You are on the right track, and I appreciate you. Hugs!

[down_to_business]

Kudos to you all with thick skin.

 

I don't like when an escort jumps my shit for asking even one single question that said "ask". It happened enough. That is my biggest problem with asking. That is why I prefer to just move on.

 

And yes, sometimes a clear answer to a series of pre-questions really does save all kinds of time and aggravation for all parties.

[+ bashful]

Kudos to you all with thick skin.

 

I don't like when an escort jumps my shit for asking even one single question that said "ask". It happened enough. That is my biggest problem with asking. That is why I prefer to just move on.

 

And yes, sometimes a clear answer to a series of pre-questions really does save all kinds of time and aggravation for all parties.

 

If he puts "ask" in his ad, he should respond to the question honestly, and politely. Anything less, move on.

[good ol boy]

Three things.... Regarding Kurtis... I see his ad on the home page when I log in ( probably because he is Platinum/ GOLD status or something ) as a result I could be on the DC, PHILA, NYC page and there is Kurtis who is most of the time in TX... as a result, this might be confusing for some...

Killian, some people may just want an hour, only have an hour, there may be that Businessman who is on a lunch hour or who has time to kill between sales calls in the afternoon, maybe he had an appt that cancelled so he decides to blow off some steam... As a result, 3 hours ( ish ) may not be what that person is looking for.

Finally ASK ME is also used used for the position category, and I have asked the guy, what is your position top, bottom or vers and the response I got was a "hmmmmmmm" I guess he was new to the site and still trying to figure all the terminology out. And by the way, his sexual orientation was listed as straight

[actor61]

Three things.... Regarding Kurtis... I see his ad on the home page when I log in ( probably because he is Platinum/ GOLD status or something ) as a result I could be on the DC, PHILA, NYC page and there is Kurtis who is most of the time in TX... as a result, this might be confusing for some...

Killian, some people may just want an hour, only have an hour, there may be that Businessman who is on a lunch hour or who has time to kill between sales calls in the afternoon, maybe he had an appt that cancelled so he decides to blow off some steam... As a result, 3 hours ( ish ) may not be what that person is looking for.

Finally ASK ME is also used used for the position category, and I have asked the guy, what is your position top, bottom or vers and the response I got was a "hmmmmmmm" I guess he was new to the site and still trying to figure all the terminology out. And by the way, his sexual orientation was listed as straight

I'm probably going to get a lot of stern rebukes for what I'm about to write, but here goes. I find the "ask me" designation for position a complete turn-off and no matter how gorgeous the guy in the pictures is or how enticing his ad, the "ask me" just makes me move on. I don't want to sound crass but if I'm looking at an escort's ad it's because I want to spend some money to have sex and since I have a decided preference for the position I take during that activity, I look for the guys who fit the bill. "Ask me" doesn't help at all and I find it's a very poor marketing tool; after all, this is basically about marketing, right? If the escort doesn't have a problem with either topping or bottoming, then "versatile" is appropriate. I have called escorts with "ask me" twice and both times were disheartening and disappointing. When I asked the first guy whether he was a top or bottom, his reply was "Why don't we figure that out when you get here?" The second guy said, "Positions aren't important. It's about the emotional connection." No, it's not. It's about the physical connection and I need to know if your dick is going to connect with my ass. It's as simple as that.

 

Don't hate me.

[+ José Soplanucas]

No hating @actor61 , we all are just different. The very thing you don't like and turns you off, attracts my curiosity with an invitation to have a conversation. It is not about what is better, but about what is better for you.

[good ol boy]

"Positions aren't important. It's about the emotional connection." No, it's not. It's about the physical connection and I need to know if your dick is going to connect with my ass. It's as simple as that.

I LOVE IT and might I add , " STAY HARD" lol if you are a bottom in search of a top... although I am a top in search of a bottom .