Holiday Eating Guide

[DelawareGuy]

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table

knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave

immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

 

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt

scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You

can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that

it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn

into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for

me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

 

 

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of

gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your

mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

 

 

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or

whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car

with an automatic transmission.

 

 

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control

your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other

people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

 

 

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the

time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table

while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

 

 

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like

frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position

yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before

becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.

If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

 

 

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if

you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have

three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

 

 

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory

celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some

standards.

 

 

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or

get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread all tips;

start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

 

 

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave

with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved

body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in

the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO

HOO what a ride!"

[+ deej]

Yep. The holidays are upon us. This is the 3rd board I've seen this posted on this week. :9

 

Now... where did I leave that eggnog....

[Luv2play]

> Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey

>to the grave

> with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and

>well preserved

> body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand,

>martini in

> the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and

>screaming "WOO

> HOO what a ride!"

 

THAT is a classic!!! I think that is the funniest take on today's obsession with fitness that I have ever read. BRAVO!!!

>

:+

[+ nycman]

> "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave....

 

A-fucking-men brother!

 

I couldn't stop laughing when I read the last paragraph....thanks!

[Trixie]

This short essay is the closest thing I've ever found to a religion. I believe sisters, I believe!

 

La Trix

[SmallTownJohn]

And if you want a rockin' sweet treat, order from these guys:

 

http://www.christiecookies.com

 

You order them, then they bake them :0) Never a bad cookie or brownie in the bunch & you gotta have lots of milk on hand...MMMM

 

John

http://www.stj1.com

[+ LIguy]

Thanks John! Now I know where to get those awesome warm cocolate chip cookies that I get everytime I check into the Doubletree Hotel in Philadelphia.Just placed my order!

[Guest ReturnOfS]

I LOOOOVe eggnog! :9

 

Thanks for this write-up. Do you do it yourself or did you find it somewhere. I want to show it to other people.

[DelawareGuy]

Unfortunately, I can't claim authorship. It was sent to me by a buddy; as a poster said earlier, he's seen it other message boards as well.

[SmallTownJohn]

Good going, LI...

 

I wished the Christie Cookie people still made those sweet white chocolate brownies(ah, memories) They were drizzled with chocolate sauce on top and had white chocolate filling.

 

 

Enjoy those cookies,

 

John

http://www.stj1.com

[CT Dick]

>Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

>

This reminds me of the Chrismas card a good friend sent. It reads: "The best thing about rum balls is the more you have , the funnier the name becomes." Not very Christmassy but cute.

 

I loved the post! :7

 

Dick

[samhexum]

‘Perfectly preserved’ 106-year-old fruitcake found in Antarctica

A fruitcake thought to be 106 years old was recently uncovered in an extremely remote Antarctic hut.

 

The cake was almost “perfectly preserved” and apparently untouched when conservators from the Antarctic Heritage Trust spotted it on a shelf inside a Cape Adare hut, according to Stuff.co.nz.

 

The shelter was built in 1899 during a Norwegian expedition, but it’s thought that the fruitcake was brought to Cape Adare in 1911 by Robert Falcon Scott’s expedition party.

 

Lizzie Meek, the trust’s artifacts manager, told Newshub the delicacy still had remnants of Huntley and Palmers brand paper stuck to its side.

 

“It looks like new, which is quite fantastic,” Meeks said. “It smells a little bit of rancid butter, but it looks beautiful.”

 

Despite looking “edible,” the researchers were not permitted to taste the cake for ethical reasons.

 

Meeks added that while the fruitcake’s tin had nearly disintegrated, the cake itself was well preserved due to freezing conditions.

 

The fruity treat was among nearly 1,500 artifacts found in the Cape Adare huts. The conservators also discovered tools, clothing, sardines, “rather nice looking” jams and “badly deteriorated” meat and fish during their 14-month effort.

 

Meeks described the fruitcake finding a “quite a surprise.”

 

“Most people don’t carry a whole fruitcake to Antarctica and not eat it,” she said.

 

All of the artifacts, including the ancient cake, will be returned to the huts for future explorers to find.

 

And although Cape Adare is often visited by touring cruise ships, Meeks said it could be another hundred years before anyone comes across the fruitcake again.

[+ pitman]

‘Perfectly preserved’ 106-year-old fruitcake found in Antarctica

A fruitcake thought to be 106 years old was recently uncovered in an extremely remote Antarctic hut.

 

The cake was almost “perfectly preserved” and apparently untouched when conservators from the Antarctic Heritage Trust spotted it on a shelf inside a Cape Adare hut, according to Stuff.co.nz.

 

The shelter was built in 1899 during a Norwegian expedition, but it’s thought that the fruitcake was brought to Cape Adare in 1911 by Robert Falcon Scott’s expedition party.

 

Lizzie Meek, the trust’s artifacts manager, told Newshub the delicacy still had remnants of Huntley and Palmers brand paper stuck to its side.

 

“It looks like new, which is quite fantastic,” Meeks said. “It smells a little bit of rancid butter, but it looks beautiful.”

 

Despite looking “edible,” the researchers were not permitted to taste the cake for ethical reasons.

 

Meeks added that while the fruitcake’s tin had nearly disintegrated, the cake itself was well preserved due to freezing conditions.

 

The fruity treat was among nearly 1,500 artifacts found in the Cape Adare huts. The conservators also discovered tools, clothing, sardines, “rather nice looking” jams and “badly deteriorated” meat and fish during their 14-month effort.

 

Meeks described the fruitcake finding a “quite a surprise.”

 

“Most people don’t carry a whole fruitcake to Antarctica and not eat it,” she said.

 

All of the artifacts, including the ancient cake, will be returned to the huts for future explorers to find.

 

And although Cape Adare is often visited by touring cruise ships, Meeks said it could be another hundred years before anyone comes across the fruitcake again.

Actually there is only one fruitcake. It just keeps getting passed from person to person to person........

[samhexum]