Pulling back the curtain...

[DaddyCub]

I recently (within the past two months) joined one of the more popular hook-up apps on my phone. Since I live in a city close to NYC and often work in or around the city, it is not unusual for guys from the city to show up in my grid feed or my global feed.

 

I was, at first, pleasantly surprised to see some of the escorts we've come to know and lust after occasionally popping up in this feed BUT after reading some of their profiles or even attempting to make conversation I rather wish I hadn't.

 

In one case, an absolutely adorable, hairy, little pup/cub who I had fantasized about topping me happens to have a profile that indicates he is a common gay body-fascist who ironically has VERY parochial (even puritanical) views about relationships and sex. Before anyone asks if I'm sure it's him, he has a link to his Instagram and Facebook in his profile and it's clearly his personal accounts. While I find the irony of his real-life opinions and behaviors to be almost the polar opposite of his actions as an escort, it has also made it clear to me that I would now, never be comfortable hiring him because I would know what was REALLY going through his mind as opposed to what he would say. This is not a fly-by-night escort but one who has multiple positive reviews and would appear, at least from this site's perspective, to be sweet and accommodating.

 

Another example would be a fairly popular porn couple from the New England area one of whom works as a escort. I've been a fan of both for awhile, but after making attempts at conversation (they list seeking friendships as one of their choices) and being completely ignored by both even though they looked at my profile, I feel quite differently and don't even enjoy their scenes as much as I did. Lest you think I communicated to them with "Hey, wanna f*ck?", this was not the case. They happened to be in my home city and I simply offered to treat them to dinner or a drink if they wanted to go out and see some of the town. Perhaps that seemed creepy to them, I wouldn't know since they couldn't be bothered to respond.

 

In the future, should I notice a picture of an escort that I have or will want to hire in the future, I will most certainly not look at their profile or contact them through the app since I now know that the truth can be depressing. But just out of curiosity, has anyone else come across this situation?

[TruthBTold]

I remember telling one of my sister's to never Google, Facebook, etc., anyone you really care about because you will only see stuff you rather would not.

[biggerbilly]

Being in the city area, it's very much a plus and minus. There's a guy who has a rentmen profile that I was seconds from hitting up. A cute, geeky, safe-only bottom, my dream hire. Then I realized that I had seen his profile picture on Scruff. I did a search for his personal profile, and it was all about being a raw cum dump. Well that bubble was popped quickly.

 

Then there's the guy, the guy that I had hit up several times on varies apps and sites, a guy who rejected me. I finally come to terms with it and move on. Then I start hiring, and I see that he's an escort, and worst yet, one with great reviews. There's the long debate on whether or not to hire him, because at the end of the day, I'm still interested. I decide to bite the bullet, and while I'm glad I got it out of my system, and while I had a fantastic time, I will probably never hire them again. I can't escape the questions in my head, did he recognize me; and would it be better or worst if he did? And at the end of the day, this guys not into me. While I'm realistic that that's probably the case with all my hires, this guy 100% rejected me.

 

Plus there's the other aspect that has been fucking with my ego. There is a growing list of guys that have hit me up, that I have found out later on are escorts. Of this growing list, only one has actually met me. Now, I have a lot of issues when it comes to my looks. And by that I mean I have no way of know how I look. I had reactions to me stating that I'm so handsome, to people not hitting the block button fast enough. And worse of all the ones that give me a complement and stop talking to me right after that. WTF?

[Rudynate]

Being in the city area, it's very much a plus and minus. There's a guy who has a rentmen profile that I was seconds from hitting up. A cute, geeky, safe-only bottom, my dream hire. Then I realized that I had seen his profile picture on Scruff. I did a search for his personal profile, and it was all about being a raw cum dump. Well that bubble was popped quickly.

 

Then there's the guy, the guy that I had hit up several times on varies apps and sites, a guy who rejected me. I finally come to terms with it and move on. Then I start hiring, and I see that he's an escort, and worst yet, one with great reviews. There's the long debate on whether or not to hire him, because at the end of the day, I'm still interested. I decide to bite the bullet, and while I'm glad I got it out of my system, and while I had a fantastic time, I will probably never hire them again. I can't escape the questions in my head, did he recognize me; and would it be better or worst if he did? And at the end of the day, this guys not into me. While I'm realistic that that's probably the case with all my hires, this guy 100% rejected me.

 

Plus there's the other aspect that has been fucking with my ego. There is a growing list of guys that have hit me up, that I have found out later on are escorts. Of this growing list, only one has actually met me. Now, I have a lot of issues when it comes to my looks. And by that I mean I have no way of know how I look. I had reactions to me stating that I'm so handsome, to people not hitting the block button fast enough. And worse of all the ones that give me a complement and stop talking to me right after that. WTF?

 

The anonymity brings out the worst in people on hookup sites. It takes a thick hide to play successfully in that sandbox. Those with less-than-thick hides should proceed with caution.

[Kevin Slater]

In one case, an absolutely adorable, hairy, little pup/cub who I had fantasized about topping me happens to have a profile that indicates he is a common gay body-fascist who ironically has VERY parochial (even puritanical) views about relationships and sex. Before anyone asks if I'm sure it's him, he has a link to his Instagram and Facebook in his profile and it's clearly his personal accounts. While I find the irony of his real-life opinions and behaviors to be almost the polar opposite of his actions as an escort, it has also made it clear to me that I would now, never be comfortable hiring him because I would know what was REALLY going through his mind as opposed to what he would say. This is not a fly-by-night escort but one who has multiple positive reviews and would appear, at least from this site's perspective, to be sweet and accommodating.

 

Say it ain't so! This fellow who is wonderful at his job and leaves clients very well satisfied has a personal life outside of work? Opinions, preferences and a demeanor which he doesn't parade for his clients? Where do these hookers get off being real people?

 

Kevin Slater

[biggerbilly]

The anonymity brings out the worst in people on hookup sites. It takes a thick hide to play successfully in that sandbox. Those with less-than-thick hides should proceed with caution.

I learn not to that them seriously at all, you have to go in knowing that there's only a 1 out of 100 percent chance of meeting anyone.

[DonaldTramp]

I bet I know who the raw cum dump is.

[biggerbilly]

Say it ain't so! This fellow who is wonderful at his job and leaves clients very well satisfied has a personal life outside of work? Opinions, preferences and a demeanor which he doesn't parade for his clients? Where do these hookers get off being real people?

 

Kevin Slater

I don't read @DaddyCub post as saying that escorts don't or shouldn't have real lives. I think it's just an observation on how reality has a terrible habit of sticking it's nose in our fantasies. Notice that @DaddyCub ends his post by stating he's going to avoid reading escorts real life profiles so that the fantasy isn't ruined.

 

I often think of what I learned in school about the FDA, and what's actually in a lot of ground beef. I'll spear people their innocence but when I learned it, I said I would never eat a hamburger again. I ate at Wendy's just yesterday.

[LookingAround]

I can't believe people count on what escorts write in an ad to be gospel truth. I know one escort who advertises as "safe only" and told me he was neg who by mistake sent me an email he meant to send to a friend saying he was Liz and wanted bb and to breed his friend. There's marketing and then there's the reality, folks....

[Rudynate]

I learn not to that them seriously at all, you have to go in knowing that there's only a 1 out of 100 percent chance of meeting anyone.

 

That's the other thing required to play successfully on hookup sites, the ability to manage expectations.

[klifhangar]

I don't think I will EVER use hookup sites or apps. My niece put me on TindR just for laughs and I closed my account two days later. I didn't like myself when I was flipping through, judging women on looks alone. Knowing they were doing the same wasn't fun either. Just yuck. I'd rather meet someone while volunteering or out doing something that I love. So yeah, I'll probably be alone

[DaddyCub]

I don't read @DaddyCub post as saying that escorts don't or shouldn't have real lives. I think it's just an observation on how reality has a terrible habit of sticking it's nose in our fantasies. Notice that @DaddyCub ends his post by stating he's going to avoid reading escorts real life profiles so that the fantasy isn't ruined.

 

I often think of what I learned in school about the FDA, and what's actually in a lot of ground beef. I'll spear people their innocence but when I learned it, I said I would never eat a hamburger again. I ate at Wendy's just yesterday.

 

Thank you. This is exactly what I meant.

[Juan Vancouver]

In the future, should I notice a picture of an escort that I have or will want to hire in the future, I will most certainly not look at their profile or contact them through the app since I now know that the truth can be depressing.

 

I think that is a fantastic idea. If you are going to be disheartened by people not being on professional mode 24/7 or by finding that they have a private life, then it is best if you only contact them through the venues in which they will know they have to be on, professional and play your game.

 

I personally abhor when someone tries to invade my personal life with the intent of either hiring me or getting to know me better because they know I am so and so. It is my life. I have the right to live it without interruption from work. If someone wants to deal with Juan Bruno then they can reach me through every single avenue listed in my ad. Then I will comport myself in a professional manner. Not because it is fake, not because I am putting on an act, but because it is my work and I love it, because behaving professionally is the behaviour associated with my profession.

 

A nurse is not faking it when they clean someone's poop. That doesn't mean that you can expect a nurse to go through her personal life cleaning people's poops. Cleaning people's poops and having the inclination to doing so is just one of the things that are associated with the nurse's professional life.

 

If you like creating fantasies about people (You did say that it ruined the fantasy) then do not attempt to breach the fourth wall and walk into their lives. It will save you a lot of disappointment and chances are they might prefer it as well.

 

Don't ruin your porn. There's so little that is good.

[+ Gar1eth]

I don't have fantasies about escorts. The real world is difficult enough. Surfacing from a fantasy that's never going to happen makes the world seem even more brutal. That being said if the profile I read showed the escort to be a horrible person, then it would keep me from hiring them. It's one thing for an escort to say he's not attracted to older full-figured guys such as myself-I'm not attracted to my type either. But if he were openly disparaging or cruel in his comments, that would probably cross him off my list of who to hire.

 

Gman

[jeezifonly]

Perhaps it's part of the unspoken contract between the pro and the client. The following are generalizations, but sum it up.

The client has selected his hire with the goal of physical satisfaction, based largely on the escorts looks.. A means to an end. Dinners, shows, shopping etc aside it's about comptable sex. But good clients agree to treat the hire with respect (unless a prior agreement is in force) though we are not planning to integrate him into our personal lives.

The pro agrees to the clients first meeting with less knowledge of us than we have of them. A good escort has an idea of what to do to get the client comfortable, and how to follow through with fulfilling the clients expectations, in the hope of the client returning, and or a great tip. But he won't treat the client as a series of boxes to be checked. And though he makes it seem like he's enjoying it all as much as we are, he is not planning to integrate us into his personal (incl sex) life.

The time you spend interacting is what is the bottom line. Did the client feel his money was well spent? Did the escort feel he was adequately compensated for his time? Did everyone come away from the encounter without feeling like they were treated badly or cheated in some way? That's a successful business model. If either party does searching into the other's business, they may indeed find something that would disqualify them from friendship. But this is business. Plain and simple.