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Do More Escorts Need to Come Out?


Lance_Navarro
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I am an advocate for sex-workers rights. I have spoken in front of crowds, on camera and in pod-casts about my work. I recognize that I am taking chances by "outing" myself, however visibility is the only way to educate people and hopefully change public opinion about the work we do. I am proud of my work and the difference it makes in the lives of the wonderful men that come to see me. While I respect the choices of each individual and their journey, we NEED more guys to be honest and visible. In the same way that there was (and still is) a call for gay people to come out in order to create a political and social shift, the same is neccessary for sex-workers. If we allow fear to dictate our behavior, we will always be a victim. Thoughts?

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It would be equally useful for clients to come out and be more visible, but I am not optimistic about that either. I am a textbook example of a client who was helped out of a very dark point in my life by getting some physical connections that reminded me that life could be pretty good. I'm also pretty low on the paranoia and need for super discretion scale, but could never see myself as an activist. Too bad because I think my story could really demonstrate that it's not all about getting your rocks off. And we sure do need some change in the laws.

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It would be equally useful for clients to come out and be more visible, but I am not optimistic about that either. I am a textbook example of a client who was helped out of a very dark point in my life by getting some physical connections that reminded me that life could be pretty good. I'm also pretty low on the paranoia and need for super discretion scale, but could never see myself as an activist. Too bad because I think my story could really demonstrate that it's not all about getting your rocks off. And we sure do need some change in the laws.

 

Maybe a book of client and escort stories?

 

Hugs,

Greg

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I am an advocate for sex-workers rights. I have spoken in front of crowds, on camera and in pod-casts about my work. I recognize that I am taking chances by "outing" myself, however visibility is the only way to educate people and hopefully change public opinion about the work we do. I am proud of my work and the difference it makes in the lives of the wonderful men that come to see me. While I respect the choices of each individual and their journey, we NEED more guys to be honest and visible. In the same way that there was (and still is) a call for gay people to come out in order to create a political and social shift, the same is neccessary for sex-workers. If we allow fear to dictate our behavior, we will always be a victim. Thoughts?

They need a series like Gigolos. Except the guys need to be honest about who's actually paying them. Not just a fictional story of a bunch of bored housewives.

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Since *comments* were solicited, I have a couple.

 

1.) I would have no problem addressing a rally demanding my rights as a client. I'm now newly retired

and not in the public eye, so this couldn't possibly have any personal repercussions for me.

 

That being said:

 

2.) There are some escorts whose clients have a need for extreme discretion. They will not even show faces in their

advertisements. For them to come out publicly would cost them a significant portion of their client base.

 

3.) I'm pretty sure that by 1977 and 1978 when Harvey Milk was gay people in general to come out, consenting sex

between adults had already been decriminalized in California. The exchange of money for sex is still illegal and

there may be unhappy consequences for some people to announce that they are engaging in a technically illegal

activity. This IS the whole point of "coming out", but I'm loathe to imply any kind of cowardice the people who

choose not too.

 

4.) Doing porn is *not* illegal; so I suspect that those porn actors who choose to come out as sex workers,

are less likey to loose clients due clients needs for anonymity, but still face some risk.

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Since *comments* were solicited, I have a couple.

 

1.) I would have no problem addressing a rally demanding my rights as a client. I'm now newly retired

and not in the public eye, so this couldn't possibly have any personal repercussions for me.

 

That being said:

 

2.) There are some escorts whose clients have a need for extreme discretion. They will not even show faces in their

advertisements. For them to come out publicly would cost them a significant portion of their client base.

 

3.) I'm pretty sure that by 1977 and 1978 when Harvey Milk was gay people in general to come out, consenting sex

between adults had already been decriminalized in California. The exchange of money for sex is still illegal and

there may be unhappy consequences for some people to announce that they are engaging in a technically illegal

activity. This IS the whole point of "coming out", but I'm loathe to imply any kind of cowardice the people who

choose not too.

 

4.) Doing porn is *not* illegal; so I suspect that those porn actors who choose to come out as sex workers,

are less likey to loose clients due clients needs for anonymity, but still face some risk.

 

It is also unlikely that folks that do porn will lose their jobs if it came out that they were involved in this particular illegal activity. Many clients however would lose their jobs and their careers for engaging in almost any illegal activity.

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Personal stories are probably the single most effective way to dispel the myths and stereotypes that people hold. For example, there is little doubt that the change in public attitudes about GLBT people is directly related to the increasing willingness of GLBT people to “come out” over the past few decades. It started out as a few courageous people willing to take huge risks by coming out publicly But once the ball started rolling, it picked up its own momentum, which continues to this day. Still, everyone’s situation is unique, and I would be reluctant to tell someone that they have some kind of moral obligation to come out of the closet since I am not “in their shoes,” as Epigonos said.

 

If the issue is legalizing/decriminalizing/de-stigmatizing sex work, the conundrum is that the people most able and inclined to speak out are also the people who have the most to lose by doing so—that is, the people who are directly involved, who would be branded with the stigma/criminality label associated with this work. It’s very hard to get the ball rolling under these circumstances. Because of this Catch-22 situation, I agree with the other commenters that very few people will be willing to risk “coming out” in the current climate.

 

One possible way around this problem, at least to a degree, is through the press and other media. They can provide an avenue for people to tell their stories with a degree of anonymity while still getting the message out.

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Pitch for Showtime Series "Paid Sex in the City" by Purplekow.

 

An escort and his three escort friends, live life as male sex workers in NYC. The ins and out of the daily grind of four male sex workers as they navigate the difficult path of professionals in a profession that is just the other side of legal. Meet them, their clients, their friends and family. Learn how they got here and where they are going. No doubt about it, their hopes and dreams are on the rise. Have they taken the hard road to easy street, or will they find themselves down on their knees and down on their luck?

Cary Ahn..................29 year old Asian muscle boy with a penchant for older men. Size queen looking for Mr. Big

Sam Timenextweek . Experienced older escort who shepherds this foursome with words of wisdom and a client list which can solve any problem

Charlie Goodtimes...Former frat boy, from Connecticut whose ultraconservative fabulously wealthy parents tossed him out when he came out.

Tony Threetimes.......Stoic, former lawyer who gets by on average looks and remarkable sexual endurance and a keen mind for figures

 

Miranda Law.............Mother hen to the group Pre-op transsexual with a heart of gold and steel switchblade which led to her spending 10 years at Attica. Runs a strip club which serves as the meeting place for our heroes.

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Heck, I'm still trying to demystify and destigmatize the practice of escorting of escorting to members of this forum, let alone the larger hiring community, let alone the larger gay community, let alone the larger global community.

 

I'm proud of the people who have gone public, even anonymously, in defense of sex workers. Important to realize the US probably ain't at the forefront of this movement though.

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It is also unlikely that folks that do porn will lose their jobs if it came out that they were involved in this particular illegal activity. Many clients however would lose their jobs and their careers for engaging in almost any illegal activity.

Are you referring to a porn actors "day job"? If so why would they be a less risk of losing it than clients?

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I'm pretty sure that by 1977 and 1978 when Harvey Milk was gay people in general to come out, consenting sex

between adults had already been decriminalized in California. The exchange of money for sex is still illegal and

there may be unhappy consequences for some people to announce that they are engaging in a technically illegal

activity. This IS the whole point of "coming out", but I'm loathe to imply any kind of cowardice the people who

choose not too.

 

Good point.

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The escort portrayed in "Looking" was a good example of how to introduce the concept to many viewers.

Hey can you tell me the season and episode(s) please. I'd very much like to watch those episodes. THANKS! (I'm not going to watch the series, I hate it, and especially it's creator, a lot. but i'd love to see their idea of a modern day SF escort.)

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Hey can you tell me the season and episode(s) please. I'd very much like to watch those episodes. THANKS! (I'm not going to watch the series, I hate it, and especially it's creator, a lot. but i'd love to see their idea of a modern day SF escort.)

 

I think most of it is in Season 1 Episode 4 "Looking for 220/hour". Agustin hires him for an "art" project. In a later episode...maybe 6?... he hires him to have sex with his boyfriend and that ultimately ends their relationship.

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I am an advocate for sex-workers rights. I have spoken in front of crowds, on camera and in pod-casts about my work. I recognize that I am taking chances by "outing" myself, however visibility is the only way to educate people and hopefully change public opinion about the work we do. I am proud of my work and the difference it makes in the lives of the wonderful men that come to see me. While I respect the choices of each individual and their journey, we NEED more guys to be honest and visible. In the same way that there was (and still is) a call for gay people to come out in order to create a political and social shift, the same is neccessary for sex-workers. If we allow fear to dictate our behavior, we will always be a victim. Thoughts?

 

IMO if there is a path to legalize prostitution it is going to be opened by female prostitutes. If I were a gamy male escort activist and organizer, I would seek for an alliance with my female colleagues.

I don't know what the situation now is, but back in my times prostitution was legal in many Argentinean states (provincias). Prostitutes were unionized. An office of the Health Secretary would issue a "libreta sanitaria", a kind of password where the prostitute would document her regular health checks in an authorized doctor's office.

And that is Argentina, not the vanguard you would probably find in some European countries.

I do think that if more escorts are willing to come out and fight in alliance with female prostitutes, even Puritan America will have to recognize their rights. Perhaps a wise strategy would be starting the fight in the friendlier, cosmopolitan, tolerant and open minded areas.

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Hey can you tell me the season and episode(s) please. I'd very much like to watch those episodes. THANKS! (I'm not going to watch the series, I hate it, and especially it's creator, a lot. but i'd love to see their idea of a modern day SF escort.)

It was the first season. Not sure what exact episodes. I didn't watch the series after that.

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Good thought, but it won't happen except for perhaps long-time escorts...and many of them may not go for the idea.

 

Some guys escort just to get by College or pay a few bills, also many of them "don't have the stomach" or vocation, to do it as a career for 10 years or more.

I think showing your face and exposing yourself as an escort is always a personal choice that could backfire later in life.

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I think showing your face and exposing yourself as an escort is always a personal choice that could backfire later in life.

 

Could backfire? It WILL backfire later in life. I have a friend who was an escort while in grad school. There are literally hundreds of tumblr and other web pages that link his face picture/real name/escort profile. So, OK, he was careless. Now , although retired as an escort, he can't get a decent job anywhere - with a master's degree in nutrition from a very good school. Future employers and clients do google you!

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Could backfire? It WILL backfire later in life. I have a friend who was an escort while in grad school. There are literally hundreds of tumblr and other web pages that link his face picture/real name/escort profile. So, OK, he was careless. Now , although retired as an escort, he can't get a decent job anywhere - with a master's degree in nutrition from a very good school. Future employers and clients do google you!

 

Damn!

 

Sorry to hear that.

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I am an advocate for sex-workers rights. I have spoken in front of crowds, on camera and in pod-casts about my work. I recognize that I am taking chances by "outing" myself, however visibility is the only way to educate people and hopefully change public opinion about the work we do. I am proud of my work and the difference it makes in the lives of the wonderful men that come to see me. While I respect the choices of each individual and their journey, we NEED more guys to be honest and visible. In the same way that there was (and still is) a call for gay people to come out in order to create a political and social shift, the same is neccessary for sex-workers. If we allow fear to dictate our behavior, we will always be a victim. Thoughts?

 

I applaud your initiative, but in deference to the risk factor, it might be a good idea to wait for the results of the 2016 presidential election. If republicans take the White House, we are all going to be in for some tougher times.

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