Just curious of other's thoughts.

[+ buddy12]

Presently, I am currently with a well reviewed escort for the weekend. He has about 8 reviews and all we're stellar. I particulary like conversationalists which he advertised that he "could carry on a conversation". I picked him up at the airport in the sticks here last night. I could tell on the 1st 5 minute ride back home that this wasn't going to be the case. Talk was limited last night but cuddling and the sex was ok. And for me yeah the sex is key but not all there is.

 

Today, it's much worse. It's like pulling teeth to get him to talk. This morning I asked him if he wanted to take a shower together and I could tell he was reluctant but he agreed. We were in the shower for 3 minutes, he jumped out and said, "I'm clean"! Wow is my only thought as I am in good shape. Today, still no conversation per se. Even when I do try to initiate something and tell him something, I can tell he is paying absolutely no attention. The final straw that ticked me off is he grabbed a book out of his bag a little bit ago and started reading it. I'm all for broadening your horizons, but not on my dime. 1st time in 10 years of hiring had this happened. I would have taken him back to the airport today but no flights leave the sticks today. He leaves tomorrow, but god is this just uncomfortable. I feel as I have to actually put work into having a conversation. Honestly, a sock puppet would have been more company. I guess I just chalk it up to no chemistry. I have always only did overnights but I guess I see now why people say do an hour and see how it goes. And I guess all the good reviews don't necessarily translate to good appointments every time.

[+ purplekow]

You need to be having this conversation with him since he is still there.

[Juan Vancouver]

And when he is gone, you have to write a balanced but honest review, just the way you are relating this to us.

 

Lack of chemistry is not the same as lack of trying.

[jackjackjack]

I agree with purplek. Have an honest conversation with him. And if you can and think it's necessary, try to renegotiate his fee.

[+ Topseed]

Sorry for your rough experience. Been there, and with a very well-known escort (in this Forum, at least) who bored me to tears over a weekend. Couldn't get him out of my home fast enough. It happens.

[+ purplekow]

There are very many more than 3 well known escorts on this forum. No fair wheedling for identification.

[+ nycman]

Read a book and wait it out.

 

....or better....

 

Rent a cheap hotel room by the airport and dump him there immediately.

 

No need to explain...he'll get the point.

 

There is no reason to put up with his foolishness.

[Kuriousity]

I can see both sides, but, I do lean toward the "A two hour session should have happened before an overnight". If an overnight does not pan out, then each of you is stuck with someone you have zero connection with. On a further note, just because an escort has shit tons of good reviews from others does not--by any stretch of the imagination--mean he is going to connect with you. Each meeting is unique.

[+ buddy12]

Ok update...after I posted this (I posted it outside) I did have a conversation about it with him PK. I figured that was the best way. Told him I wasn't impressed. He apologized profusely and honestly I believe sincerely. But yeah...this is this 1st time meeting him and I should have done a 1 or 2 hour appt 1st. But honestly in 10 years I never had this problem as I've always done overnights. Things have gotten much better in the last hour. He was actually on the verge of tears when I started talking about this (really I felt bad about that)...kind of like I shocked him because he didn't realize what he had done. I'll keep you posted.

[seaboy4hire]

Ok update...after I posted this (I posted it outside) I did have a conversation about it with him PK. I figured that was the best way. Told him I wasn't impressed. He apologized profusely and honestly I believe sincerely. But yeah...this is this 1st time meeting him and I should have done a 1 or 2 hour appt 1st. But honestly in 10 years I never had this problem as I've always done overnights. Things have gotten much better in the last hour. He was actually on the verge of tears when I started talking about this (really I felt bad about that)...kind of like I shocked him because he didn't realize what he had done. I'll keep you posted.

 

I like that you brought it up to him in person rather than just go off and write a bad review on the guy. I hope with the time left he will do what he can to make what went wrong right.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[mattr]

Immature putz... treats you like crap and then gets upset and cries when you call him out....

[+ saminseattle]

Immature putz... treats you like crap and then gets upset and cries when you call him out....

 

Well, in point of fact, he probably is the younger, i.e., less mature, person in the situation. But regardless of age, it must be hard to be told you’re doing a bad job, especially if the nature of the job is highly personal.

 

In any event, to me, this just seems to be another reminder of the importance of good communication in any relationship, whether it’s a brief or long-term one. Hopefully, with some constructive feedback, things can get back on track for everyone.

[+ ArVaGuy]

Immature putz... treats you like crap and then gets upset and cries when you call him out....

 

I'm not so quick to rush to judgment regarding the escort. There are two sides to every story and the escort would obviously have a different perspective.

 

Extended hires can be difficult if there is a lack of chemistry or unrealistic expectations from either party.

[stop]

Presently, I am currently with a well reviewed escort for the weekend. He has about 8 reviews and all we're stellar. I particulary like conversationalists which he advertised that he "could carry on a conversation". I picked him up at the airport in the sticks here last night. I could tell on the 1st 5 minute ride back home that this wasn't going to be the case. Talk was limited last night but cuddling and the sex was ok. And for me yeah the sex is key but not all there is.

 

Today, it's much worse. It's like pulling teeth to get him to talk. This morning I asked him if he wanted to take a shower together and I could tell he was reluctant but he agreed. We were in the shower for 3 minutes, he jumped out and said, "I'm clean"! Wow is my only thought as I am in good shape. Today, still no conversation per se. Even when I do try to initiate something and tell him something, I can tell he is paying absolutely no attention. The final straw that ticked me off is he grabbed a book out of his bag a little bit ago and started reading it. I'm all for broadening your horizons, but not on my dime. 1st time in 10 years of hiring had this happened. I would have taken him back to the airport today but no flights leave the sticks today. He leaves tomorrow, but god is this just uncomfortable. I feel as I have to actually put work into having a conversation. Honestly, a sock puppet would have been more company. I guess I just chalk it up to no chemistry. I have always only did overnights but I guess I see now why people say do an hour and see how it goes. And I guess all the good reviews don't necessarily translate to good appointments every time.

 

Not at all blaming you or excusing his behavior, but have you considered saying hey lets do something that you want to do like grab a bite, exercise, see a movie etc. Perhaps that can break the ice. yes he really should be the one leading things but if you are out of sync sometimes letting them chose an activity helps ease things.

[+ buddy12]

I like that you brought it up to him in person rather than just go off and write a bad review on the guy. I hope with the time left he will do what he can to make what went wrong right.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

Hey Greg, I'm 100% with you on writing the bad review. I hate to do that and after we talked, he did make everything right.

[jackjackjack]

Buddy12, Seems like it all finished on a positive note. Just curious, did he explain why he was acting like a douch bag for all that time?

[LADoug1]

Lack of chemistry is not the same as lack of trying.

 

SO true.

[LADoug1]

I can understand him reading a book or needing some alone time if it was a longer trip or something. But during a weekend? Not cool. I'm glad that you were able to speak to him about the problem. I think his response was genuine. I also agree that asking an escort what THEY want to do can make a ho-hum longer term hire more pleasurable for both parties.

[+ SundayZip]

I feel badly for this escort. The worst possible way to generate conversation is to tell someone you need them to be a good conversationalist. An acquaintance once complained to me that a guy he recently dated was boring because he couldn't talk about opera and European literature. My reaction was that acquaintance is a jerk. The best way to create conversation is to give the person space, find things of common interest in a casual, non pressure way and then let him or her open up. My guess is that your escort shut down in the face of your implicit or explicitly stated demands for him to be someone he is not.

[+ buddy12]

Not at all blaming you or excusing his behavior, but have you considered saying hey lets do something that you want to do like grab a bite, exercise, see a movie etc. Perhaps that can break the ice. yes he really should be the one leading things but if you are out of sync sometimes letting them chose an activity helps ease things.

 

Hey jeep,

 

Yep, I absolutely agree on doing things they want to do. For the most part when I hire we always come up here to my vacation home in the woods in the northern part of my state. I always let them know where they'll be and the things to do.

 

Prior to meeting, I find out what the like to eat, drink and do so I can set that up.

 

I always let them know that the closest town does have a gym, restaurants, movie theater, etc. And I always let them know that regardless, whatever you want to do, we'll do. And I tell each guy I hire that this isn't about me and what will happen in the bedroom (and it's sincerely not). This is about them having an amazing time so when they do leave, they have a smile on their face and think to themselves that was fun.

 

And yeah, I did ask him what he'd like to do yesterday numerous times...gave the options but he wanted to sit here and chill...ok...I'm very cool with that but let's talk a little. I'm not saying we have to talk non stop all day because that would just be weird...but engage a little bit and not make it like we're 2 strangers on a bus.

 

I think having the talk yesterday was the icebreaker. From yesterday afternoon through the night was amazing. Total 180 turn around. Checked out movies to rent...he picked the one he wanted to see...I didn't particularly want that one but hey...he's my guest so that's fine with me (turned out it actually was a great movie). Went to bed and that was great too.

 

So it actually turned out (with the exception of a few agonizing hours) turned out to be a really fun time.

 

I really appreciate all the feedback!!

[Guest countryboywny]

Buddy, I'm glad it all worked out for you.

[+ buddy12]

I feel badly for this escort. The worst possible way to generate conversation is to tell someone you need them to be a good conversationalist. An acquaintance once complained to me that a guy he recently dated was boring because he couldn't talk about opera and European literature. My reaction was that acquaintance is a jerk. The best way to create conversation is to give the person space, find things of common interest in a casual, non pressure way and then let him or her open up. My guess is that your escort shut down in the face of your implicit or explicitly stated demands for him to be someone he is not.

 

Nope, never did I once tell him he has to be a good conversationalist. Never once mentioned prior to meeting that he has to keep up a conversation. And again I don't expect someone to talk 18 hours a day. We've all met people and you wondered if there's an off button to shut them up. I'm just saying that when you're on a date, escort or non-escort, frankly any social setting, you'd like a little human interaction conversing. I'm not saying that someone is a jerk, because they don't want to talk about the opera or whatever. But when you sit for 4,5,6 hours and you try to engage and three words are spoken...and you try to find common interest and let them open up...and youre getting nothing in response, it gets uncomfortable where you start thinking am I boring the shit out of this person? And if I am boring you, let me know. And he was "shut down" 5 minutes after picking him up.

[+ buddy12]

Buddy, I'm glad it all worked out for you.

 

Thanks CB...me too!

[+ SundayZip]

Nope, never did I once tell him he has to be a good conversationalist. Never once mentioned prior to meeting that he has to keep up a conversation. And again I don't expect someone to talk 18 hours a day. We've all met people and you wondered if there's an off button to shut them up. I'm just saying that when you're on a date, escort or non-escort, frankly any social setting, you'd like a little human interaction conversing. I'm not saying that someone is a jerk, because they don't want to talk about the opera or whatever. But when you sit for 4,5,6 hours and you try to engage and three words are spoken...and you try to find common interest and let them open up...and youre getting nothing in response, it gets uncomfortable where you start thinking am I boring the shit out of this person? And if I am boring you, let me know. And he was "shut down" 5 minutes after picking him up.

 

Hey buddy2, Thanks for the clarification and I apologize that my assessment of the situation was wrong. I suppose that much of my reaction was due to how harshly you criticized him in your post ("...a sock puppet would have been more company") and because you put all the blame for the lack of chemistry on him. I don't know why, but I often feel the need to come to the defense of someone who doesn't live up to another person's expectation and is then heavily criticized for it. Maybe I should hold escorts to a higher standard.

[mattr]

I know I am going to get a lot of shit for this but he is not your "guest" he is in your employ. That means he should be engaging and interested in you and making you feel good. He should be trying to draw you out, not he other way around. Given the intimate nature of the situation you should reciprocate and doing some things that interest him is important too. I completely understand and respect his need for downtime but from your description of how the weekend started off he either had no idea what was expected of him on a weekend meeting (not professional) or he was attempting to phone it in (not acceptable). Glad YOU were able to turn the situation around by speaking bluntly to him but even if the rest of the weekend was fantastic, he would get a C- at best in my book. He also should have offered to return part of his fee or at least offered another meeting on the house. Sounds like you're a prince of a client btw.