Just curious of other's thoughts.

[MikeyGMin]

I know I am going to get a lot of shit for this but he is not your "guest" he is in your employ. That means he should be engaging and interested in you and making you feel good. He should be trying to draw you out, not he other way around. Given the intimate nature of the situation you should reciprocate and doing some things that interest him is important too. I completely understand and respect his need for downtime but from your description of how the weekend started off he either had no idea what was expected of him on a weekend meeting (not professional) or he was attempting to phone it in (not acceptable). Glad YOU were able to turn the situation around by speaking bluntly to him but even if the rest of the weekend was fantastic, he would get a C- at best in my book. He also should have offered to return part of his fee or at least offered another meeting on the house. Sounds like you're a prince of a client btw.

 

You are correct. I don't buy into the employee / employer dynamic at all. Chemistry and good conversation are two way streets. It does sound like the OP was trying to keep up his half of the bargain, but you can't just flip it all around on the escort. So here is your shit, shit and more shit. :)

 

Edit: and when someone is in my home they are always a guest no matter what the circumstance.

[caliguy]

Presently, I am currently with a well reviewed escort for the weekend. He has about 8 reviews and all we're stellar. I particulary like conversationalists which he advertised that he "could carry on a conversation". I picked him up at the airport in the sticks here last night. I could tell on the 1st 5 minute ride back home that this wasn't going to be the case. Talk was limited last night but cuddling and the sex was ok. And for me yeah the sex is key but not all there is.

 

Today, it's much worse. It's like pulling teeth to get him to talk. This morning I asked him if he wanted to take a shower together and I could tell he was reluctant but he agreed. We were in the shower for 3 minutes, he jumped out and said, "I'm clean"! Wow is my only thought as I am in good shape. Today, still no conversation per se. Even when I do try to initiate something and tell him something, I can tell he is paying absolutely no attention. The final straw that ticked me off is he grabbed a book out of his bag a little bit ago and started reading it. I'm all for broadening your horizons, but not on my dime. 1st time in 10 years of hiring had this happened. I would have taken him back to the airport today but no flights leave the sticks today. He leaves tomorrow, but god is this just uncomfortable. I feel as I have to actually put work into having a conversation. Honestly, a sock puppet would have been more company. I guess I just chalk it up to no chemistry. I have always only did overnights but I guess I see now why people say do an hour and see how it goes. And I guess all the good reviews don't necessarily translate to good appointments every time.

Next time find a way to visit them first short term. An hour or two at your hotel.

[caliguy]

Not at all blaming you or excusing his behavior, but have you considered saying hey lets do something that you want to do like grab a bite, exercise, see a movie etc. Perhaps that can break the ice. yes he really should be the one leading things but if you are out of sync sometimes letting them chose an activity helps ease things.

That's my thought as well. The whole shower scene was the OP's idea. My guess is that if he had asked the guy he would've declined. Personally, I'm not much of a group shower scene guy myself.

[jackjackjack]

Wow shocked at a lot of people defending the escort. Im going to show the client "buddy12" a little love here and say if someone is paying an entire weekend to be with me then at least try to talk and get to know the person a little even if you'll never see the person again. Buddy12 is paying a LOT of money to have this guy around and from the start this guy isn't even trying to pretend to show interest. Notice how the escort didnt try anything to try to make things work, buddy12 had to do everything to try to break the ice. If buddy12 didnt have the chat with the escort that he was not really living up to his expectations the escort would have kept his attitude the entire trip. But as soon as he realized he was going to get a bad review or his money was going to be cut notice how everything changed and he was open more. Funny thing is the escort probably thought he was doing such a good job in his head until you told him you weren't having fun lol. Anyhoo I'm just sticking up for buddy12 as he's paying thousands just for him to try to make an awkward situation work. The escort is the one who should try to make the client as happy as possible not the other way around.

I totally, totally agree.

[stop]

Dominiking, I totally agree with you and feel the escort is mostly at fault here, He really should be the one engaging the client. My suggestion was really to try to salvage the time left since they were stuck together for a day. nothing worse than being with somebody awkwardly for another day.

[bigvalboy]

Wow shocked at a lot of people defending the escort. Im going to show the client "buddy12" a little love here and say if someone is paying an entire weekend to be with me then at least try to talk and get to know the person a little even if you'll never see the person again. Buddy12 is paying a LOT of money to have this guy around and from the start this guy isn't even trying to pretend to show interest. Notice how the escort didnt try anything to try to make things work, buddy12 had to do everything to try to break the ice. If buddy12 didnt have the chat with the escort that he was not really living up to his expectations the escort would have kept his attitude the entire trip. But as soon as he realized he was going to get a bad review or his money was going to be cut notice how everything changed and he was open more. Funny thing is the escort probably thought he was doing such a good job in his head until you told him you weren't having fun lol. Anyhoo I'm just sticking up for buddy12 as he's paying thousands just for him to try to make an awkward situation work. The escort is the one who should try to make the client as happy as possible not the other way around.

 

Agree 100%

[gallahadesquire]

Not in an escort kind of situation, but:

 

I've been the houseguest of a good friend of mine many times. He was describing me once to a friend:

 

Oh, he's great. He comes in and adjusts to our time. He'll ask if there's something we're going to do together,

and, if not, keeps himself busy. He knows when to be there and when to make himself scarce. He doesn't

expect to be entertained.

I know: Not the same, but it's the making of good social intercourse: Be gracious. When asked what you'd

like to do, be sociable, and not outrageous.

 

I'm just curious why it got off on the wrong foot?

[+ SundayZip]

I'm happy to hear that it all turned out okay. I also agree with those who state that the escort should gone out of his way to engage the client in conversation. But I still harbor some sympathy for the escort. If I buy a Cuisinart model CPT440 4-Slice Toaster, it should work exactly as listed in the user guide. Any variation from the factory design is justification for complaint. The crazy thing about escorts is that they are not all made to one factory specification and there is a huge variation in expectations between customers. Being an escort has got to be a challenging job and to the best of my knowledge, there's no of formal training available.

[stop]

I'm happy to hear that it all turned out okay. I also agree with those who state that the escort should gone out of his way to engage the client in conversation. But I still harbor some sympathy for the escort. If I buy a Cuisinart model CPT440 4-Slice Toaster, it should work exactly as listed in the user guide. Any variation from the factory design is justification for complaint. The crazy thing about escorts is that they are not all made to one factory specification and there is a huge variation in expectations between customers. Being an escort has got to be a challenging job and to the best of my knowledge, there's no of formal training available.

 

ok I had to look up to see if Cuisinart model CPT440 4-Slice Toaster was actually a thing and by golly it is

 

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41yU+pbElLL._AA160_.jpg

[rogerG]

I don't buy into the employee / employer dynamic at all.

I do.

 

Hello: Escorting is a people business. First things first, you need to learn how to read people and engage with them. If I'm employing you for a service, you better know how to perform that service and do a great job. You better love your job, or at least make it appear as though you do.

 

Since when is escorting much different than purchasing a massage? When I'm in the middle of a mediocre massage, the only thing I can think of is how many minutes are left before I can get up from this table and end this misery. The last thing I'm going to do is make excuses for a mediocre massage therapist or engage with a guy who can't figure out that I like peace and quiet during my massage. If you break certain service rules, you'll never get me back as a return customer. It really is that simple.

 

A professional escort must know how to engage all kinds of personalities, especially if they offer overnight service. If the escort doesn't have talent at this ability, then he shouldn't offer anything beyond 2-3 hours.

 

I'm not suggesting that just because someone is "employed," that this gives license for inhospitable behavior. Of course you treat your escort with respect.

 

It would never occur to me to book an overnight with a stranger, no matter how well reviewed, without booking a trial run first. The guy I'm with MUST be able to make me chuckle. If there's no chance of that happening, I'm not going to make it beyond the 2nd hour together.

[MikeyGMin]

I do.

 

People are almost always in one camp or another on this subject. If you are happy being treated with the cool detachment (or faked attachment) of an employer, by all means, politely treat your companion as a respected employee. As long as it is respectful, you will probably get the result you are looking for and will be satisfied.

 

I'm not saying I always succeed or it can't be faked, but I strive for a more personal connection with anyone I spend more than an hour with. It doesn't always work, but when it does, it is totally worth it for me. Different strokes and all...