Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

[JDXXX]

I never hold a grudge, as life it too short to hold a grudge. I do tend to forgive people, as that is what I was taught by my parents growing up, as well as going through a Christian school. As for forgetting, sometimes I do, but other times I just keep up my guard more.

 

+1:D:D

[samhexum]

Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

 

http://synd.imgsrv.uclick.com/comics/cl/2017/cl171112.jpg

Edited November 12, 2017 by samhexum

[Gvtire]

I don't hold grudges, but I don't forget. I have no problem bringing up the indiscretion. Then your dead to me.

[+ sync]

I forgive in the sense that I don't dwell on it or seek revenge, but any cordial interaction with the person(s) is gone, whether I've known the person(s) 20 minutes or 20 years.

[samhexum]

Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

i try to forgive & forget, but I don't expect others to forgive me or forget what I've done to them... I do try my very best to not hold a grudge- that's debilitating. I'm working on that. Ask me again in a century or so.

It depends on how much you will be hurt to lose him/her/them from your life.

I don't hold grudges, but I don't forget. I have no problem bringing up the indiscretion. Then your dead to me.

I forgive in the sense that I don't dwell on it or seek revenge, but any cordial interaction with the person(s) is gone, whether I've known the person(s) 20 minutes or 20 years.

[Guy Fawkes]

I forgive but I remember. However, I must wonder why you resurrected such an old thread?

[MassageDrew]

I will forgive but not really forget. Their presence is a constant reminder of what they did. I'm more careful next time.

[Guest]

I forgive if and only if the person offers a sincere apology. Otherwise, there's nothing to forgive. And, of course, one cannot forget.

[+ FrankR]

I will forgive but not really forget. Their presence is a constant reminder of what they did. I'm more careful next time.

Where I come from, we carry our grudges until they die from old age. Then we have them stuffed and mounted so we can keep then around even longer!

[+ WilliamM]

I forgive if and only if the person offers a sincere apology. Otherwise, there's nothing to forgive. And, of course, one cannot forget.

 

For me, I almost always get over it whether there is an apology, or not. And yes, one can forget.

[Monarchy79]

Most people do not deserve forgiveness, as they rarely apologize or atone for their wrongful ways.

 

I’m my life, people who have wronged me either:

1.) don’t apologize, and expect “time”, to run it’s course and make everything okay, or

2.) give a half-assed-slap-in-the-face “I’m sorry you feel that way”, types of apologies.

 

In my younger years, I’d seek revenge. Now, I forget and forgive myself altogether (yes, forgiveness is about YOU, and freeing yourself from the stress of animosity, not the other person), move on, and permanently eliminate the person from my life.

 

You can forgive without involving the culprit in your life again.

 

You don’t need to step in shit twice, to know that it stinks...

[+ WilliamM]

I forgive but I remember. However, I must wonder why you resurrected such an old thread?

 

Why do you remember? Let it go. For the people who forgives and moves on, it is very frustrating when the other person remembers for years - there is always a danger of something happening again.

Edited June 10, 2019 by WilliamM

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I forgive but I remember. However, I must wonder why you resurrected such an old thread?

 

I've already forgiven him for reviving this, but now forgetting why it was done in the first place.

[Guy Fawkes]

Grandma said: "Burn once shame on your; Burn me twice shame on me"

 

Why do you remember? Let it go. For the people who forgives and moves on, it is very frustrating when the other person remembers for years - there is always a danger of something happening again.

[+ WilliamM]

Grandma said: "Burn once shame on your; Burn me twice shame on me"

 

It depends on the grievance. You gain nothing by holding on in either situation. I remember my parents commenting on how quickly I got over slights, real or imagined.

[Guest]

2.) give a half-assed-slap-in-the-face “I’m sorry you feel that way”, types of apologies.

 

Ooh, those "apologies" make me really incensed and rile me up all the more. That would really push me to let 'em have it. I don't need people in my life who won't offer real apologies. So I don't have 'em.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-apology_apology

[ericwinters]

Every dawn is a reminder to forgive and forget the petty bullshit of yesterday.

 

Major betrayal and trust deficits are another story.

[+ WilliamM]

Every dawn is a reminder to forgive and forget the petty bullshit of yesterday.

 

Major betrayal and trust deficits are another story.

 

I do agree with @Guy Fawkes now that this threat should not have been brought back. Sad.

[+ sync]

From observations and experiences over my lifetime I have concluded that "forgive and forget" is a myth. At times there may be a smidgen of one or the other, but "forgive and forget" in totality...I doubt it.

[woodworker]

Carrying a grudge takes energy I would rather spend having fun.

I forgive the other guy, then I forgive myself for allowing him to hurt me.

[Guest]

Carrying a grudge takes energy I would rather spend having fun.

I forgive the other guy, then I forgive myself for allowing him to hurt me.

If you forgive the other guy when he doesn't ask for your forgiveness, then no one has learned anything from the interaction. And you're setting yourself up to be burned again.

[+ WilliamM]

If you forgive the other guy when he doesn't ask for your forgiveness, then no one has learned anything from the interaction. And you're setting yourself up to be burned again.

 

It is about you, not "the other guy." Only you can decide not to be taken advantage again.

[marylander1940]

Depends...

[samhexum]

Only you can decide not to be taken advantage again.

 

... and prevent forest fires.

 

[RomanticRick]

The offense wasn't purposely malicious, but more in the line of disregard for another.

 

I don't allow many people in my life, I don't ask very much from those that I do allow. I enjoy doing for others and rarely ask for anything in return. I do because I want to. To be disregarded by these individuals makes me once again doubt my judgement in character of others.

If the reason for doing for others is just the sheer joy that comes from doing for others /giving unconditionally then you would find no reason to be disappointed, because you never expected anything from anyone to begin with.