Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

[geminibear]

Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

 

I was recently let down by some people which until now I considered my closest friends.

[seaboy4hire]

I forgive, never forget and keep my guard up.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[Kuriousity]

I am French & Russian....of course I will carry a grudge--it's in my DNA.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I can relate to your feelings, @geminibear , I'm kind of a fascist of friendship loyalty and confidence. One of my best teachers told me once that I did not want friends but dogs. I think everything always depends on the circumstances, I don't believe in "never" and "always", so my advice would be ... If you can forgive, forgive him/her/them. No one is perfect.

[Rudynate]

Eventually, I forgive after a LOOOONG time.

[jackjackjack]

Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

 

I was recently let down by some people which until now I considered my closest friends.

 

SeaboyforHire has the best answer. 'Forgive, don't forget'. And you don't want to carry around all that negative energy of holding a grudge.

[geminibear]

SeaboyforHire has the best answer. 'Forgive, don't forget'. And you don't want to carry around all that negative energy of holding a grudge.

But isn't not forgetting the same as holding a grudge?

[seaboy4hire]

But isn't not forgetting the same as holding a grudge?

 

I dont think it is. I've been dealt a couple craptastic hands, once as a kid and another as an adult. I forgave those individuals for what they did, no hard grudges or wishing them ill will. Forgive but don't forget.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[seaboy4hire]

You need me to cut a bitch fer ya?

 

Hugs,

Greg

[JDXXX]

Do you forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

 

I was recently let down by some people which until now I considered my closest friends.

 

Hi Geminibear,

 

Thanks for creating this thread as I myself in the past year have been painfully hurt and betrayed recently by a couple of people I thought were my close friends, and came to find out they bad mouthed me to each other, and even stabbed me in the back on more then one occasion.

 

Wanted to get even, and been tempted to do so considering the circumstances of how badly burned I was in the situation, but decided to take the "high road" instead.

 

Really hurts when you been loyal to someone you consider as a friend, and then consequently in the end find out they've betrayed your trust and confidence in them cold-heartedly to others. Then when you call them out on it, and express your hurt and anger - they wanna so call end they're association/friendship with you after they've done you wrong viciously.

 

Really hurts to be burned terribly in that manner, but it's good these things do happen to show us who are true friends are in this world.

 

Now, how shitty is that? By them ending a friendship after you call them like that shows maybe they can't stand you hurt you, and is a firm of guilt maybe?

 

I can totally relate what your experiencing, and sorry to hear this happened to you.

 

I'd say take the high road, and eventually forgive, but not hold a grudge. I'm gonna do the same thing is to forgive, but on guard of who I consider as close friends from now on. Especially if I been burned by them already horrifically in the past without end.

 

Be the bigger person and forgive, baby as it'll pay off to keep a positive outlook and know what goes around does eventually come around to those who are nasty individuals that can't be trusted with a two dollar bill as karma my dear can be a vicious bitch too. Just doesn't pay to be nasty to people, and always be gracious and kind to others as when your nasty to people who been loyal and kind to you, it'll come back on you and sometimes 10 times fold worse then the crap that person has done unto you.

 

Just isn't worth it, and best to take the high road in these sort of unfortunate circumstances.

 

Really is a shame, but it happens, and we move on with our head up high knowing they're are more fish in the sea as you win some and you lose some as they swim up stream. ;)

[geminibear]

You need me to cut a bitch fer ya?

 

Hugs,

Greg

I don't know any bitches per say and I am well versed in the use of sharp knifes.

It was nothing so drastic to be "cut". It was more the fact that they didn't care enough to be bothered.

I had a 4 hour drive this morning by myself to think about how I was let down.

[jawjateck]

With a little time, I am able to put things in perspective, forgive, move on, not be controlled by the hurt/feelings, but that does not mean I trust the other party. You can forgive someone, but not trust them. Trust is a bank account and requires alot of deposits over a long period of time to accrue. It can be bankrupted by one act.

[jawjateck]

But isn't not forgetting the same as holding a grudge?

 

Recall does not prove/disprove forgiveness. But saying you forgive and then throwing it at the person over and over, OR harboring ill-will indefinitely.....well....that aint forgiveness.

 

Ok....now that's all my good-deedin' for the next 6 months around here.

[Kuriousity]

You need me to cut a bitch fer ya?

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

Hey--cutting bitches is my turf....go find your own corner

[geminibear]

Recall does not prove/disprove forgiveness. But saying you forgive and then throwing it at the person over and over, OR harboring ill-will indefinitely.....well....that aint forgiveness.

 

Ok....now that's all my good-deedin' for the next 6 months around here.

Thank you for your community service JJT and the wise advice.

[+ Truereview]

i try to forgive & forget, but I don't expect others to forgive me or forget what I've done to them. It is actually kinda liberating for me to live my life that way bc I don't have to hold myself accountable for the actions of others - only for my own. If I offend someone I care for (I have to care for them), and I want them to forgive me, I put myself to work to eventually gaining their forgiveness; however, I don't ever expect them to forget it nor be grudge-free. That's their baggage to work thru.

 

I do try my very best to not hold a grudge- that's debilitating. I'm working on that. Ask me again in a century or so.

[Kuriousity]

Do me wrong, and my inner child comes out & he's very Jewish...meaning you become dead to me.

[bigvalboy]

Depending on the severity, I don't forgive, I'm a door closer. Once someone with purpose and malice betrays me, I close the door, and never look back. By the same token, I don't hold grudges. Some might claim that in essence I am holding a grudge, but as far as I'm concerned, "What's done is done" and I can easily move on.

 

I've been told it's a character flaw...perhaps they are right.

Edited January 28, 2016 by bigvalboy

[Kuriousity]

Depending on the severity, I don't forgive, I'm a door closer. Once someone with purpose and malice betrays me, I close the door, and never look back. By the same token, I don't hold grudges. As far as I'm concerned, "What's done is done"

 

I've been told it's a character flaw...perhaps they are right.

 

Nope....not a character flaw at all--from my perspective.

[+ glennnn]

It depends on how much you will be hurt to lose him/her/them from your life. If you have totally lost faith, then let them go. If you really can't let go, talk to them, forgive and try again. If you cant talk to them or let go, swallow hard, and continue the relatioship as is. There are really only three responses to any problem.

1. Walk away from it

2. Change it

3. Live with it.

I'm sorry you have been hurt. warm hugs to you.

[JDXXX]

Depending on the severity, I don't forgive, I'm a door closer. Once someone with purpose and malice betrays me, I close the door, and never look back. By the same token, I don't hold grudges. As far as I'm concerned, "What's done is done"

 

I've been told it's a character flaw...perhaps they are right.

 

Always best to forgive and move on as when you do that your the bigger person as karma can kick mean-girls (who do wrong and vicious acts unto others) in this world in the ass royally. Through karma, they'll see the "light" of they're many errors eventually.

 

Oh, karma can be painful; more painful then the revenge you may feel like plotting unto them which is why - it's best to always take the "high road" and watch what they put out will come back to them 10 times fold.

 

It's only a matter of time.

[seaboy4hire]

Hey--cutting bitches is my turf....go find your own corner

 

Sorry but I'm part Latino I out rank you. Now on your knees.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[liubit]

I rarely hold a grudge. I normally forgive, but never forget.

[geminibear]

Depending on the severity, I don't forgive, I'm a door closer. Once someone with purpose and malice betrays me, I close the door, and never look back. By the same token, I don't hold grudges. Some might claim that in essence I am holding a grudge, but as far as I'm concerned, "What's done is done" and I can easily move on.

 

I've been told it's a character flaw...perhaps they are right.

The offense wasn't purposely malicious, but more in the line of disregard for another.

 

I don't allow many people in my life, I don't ask very much from those that I do allow. I enjoy doing for others and rarely ask for anything in return. I do because I want to. To be disregarded by these individuals makes me once again doubt my judgement in character of others.

[JDXXX]

Sorry but I'm part Latino I out rank you. Now on your knees.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

Lol. You guys are too much. :p