Gay Men...

[Jock123]

My Frustrations with Gay men are reaching an all time High. WHAT Is it with These Apps/Websites where Everyone is like

 

"Hi"

"Looking"

"Yo"

 

Ok First off we are not Twelve. Speak In Full Sentences...Gracias!

 

And what Irks me more than ANYTHING are the guys who like to email all day. "Top/Bottom?" Whats Your Race" "How Big are You" Send me a Picture" Send me Another Picture" "Actually can You send 50 more Pictures""How Tall are You" "Sorry I like guys Shorter than me"

 

Seriously, Its a Laundry list of questions...a bunch of back and forth ALL DAY. And not to sound Pretentious but USUALLY I'm more Attractive than most guys whom I've come across. STILL I dont treat them like they are being Interviewd.

 

 

I find It Interesting how Gay men's standards can be so High. Yet MOST of my Straight friends will Fuck anything. They dont care What size she is. What color she is, How old she is etc and they are 6'5 with Solid Muscle. Those who would actually have reasons to be "Picky"

[+ purplekow]

Well, most men like to fuck. Some women look at it as a chore or will only have sex within the confines of a meaningful relationship etc. Essentially, women are more evolved and men are more sluts. So straight men cannot afford to be picky, because supply is limited and there is no guarantee that they can lower their standards low enough that they will be having sex. In the end, as long as they get their rocks off, straight guys have had a good day. Some gay men have the idea that the more attractive their partner, the more attractive they are. Therefore, like a shopper who knows he is going to go home with a cut of beef, gay men want to know that the beef they are getting is lean, tender, hot and juicy. After all, the better the beef they leave with, the better the cooking at home.

Glad to know you are an attractive guy Jock123. I am a bit on the old gray bear who aint what he used to be. Rejection is my middle name and I live with it. Ultimately it my choice is usually to lower my standards or lower my chances.

[Jock123]

So straight men cannot afford to be picky, cause supply is limited and there is no guarantee that they can lower their standards low enough that they will be having sex.

 

 

Totally agree. For every Woman there are 100 Guys willing to meet. Therefore none of them really can afford to be Picky. The gay community is much smaller...It really does all make sense WHY this is a trend. Still Frustrating however.

[Juan Vancouver]

I just think it is all about offer and demand. Women who put out are not that common, whereas men who put out are a dime a dozen, therefore that allows us to be more specific about what we consider a fulfilling encounter.

 

In other words, in the middle of a famine, you'll eat anything and will consider yourself lucky; when you have an endless menu from which you can choose anything, you will be more specific about what you are craving at any given time.

 

Sadly it is the nature of the beast.

 

On a side note...

 

Essentially, women are more evolved and men are more sluts.

 

What are you trying to say? Because it looks as if you are saying that not wanting sex is more evolved than wanting it. And that is just bizarre.

[+ deej]

I just think it is all about offer and demand. Women who put out are not that common, whereas men who put out are a dime a dozen, therefore that allows us to be more specific about what we consider a fulfilling encounter.

 

Well, combine the fact that men are usually more willing with the fact that young girls are socialized to be "good girls" while boys are encouraged to "be a man" and score. Men, in general, are just more willing to engage in sex. (God love 'em!)

 

The picky preferences can be bothersome but at closing time we're all horny. There's a dock for every boat.

[ChrisWydeman]

My Frustrations with Gay men are reaching an all time High. WHAT Is it with These Apps/Websites where Everyone is like

 

"Hi"

"Looking"

"Yo"

 

Ok First off we are not Twelve. Speak In Full Sentences...Gracias!

 

And what Irks me more than ANYTHING are the guys who like to email all day. "Top/Bottom?" Whats Your Race" "How Big are You" Send me a Picture" Send me Another Picture" "Actually can You send 50 more Pictures""How Tall are You" "Sorry I like guys Shorter than me"

 

Seriously, Its a Laundry list of questions...a bunch of back and forth ALL DAY. And not to sound Pretentious but USUALLY I'm more Attractive than most guys whom I've come across. STILL I dont treat them like they are being Interviewd.

 

 

I find It Interesting how Gay men's standards can be so High. Yet MOST of my Straight friends will Fuck anything. They dont care What size she is. What color she is, How old she is etc and they are 6'5 with Solid Muscle. Those who would actually have reasons to be "Picky"

Unfortunately this kind of dialogue has gained traction in hook up culture because its allowed to work. I am in the same boat as you, I find it incredibly irritating and rarely hook up these days because my tolerance for bullshit is incredibly low. Even when sats are filled out on a profile these inane questions are still asked and my best solution to offer you is to hire an escort. When I work in New York the majority of my clients are guys who are fed up with hook up culture and want to cut through the bs.

 

Hook up culture is devoid for the most part of people who want to engage in substantive conversation. I will give you the same advice that was given to me, get a netflix subscription and a pint of Ben and Jerrys.

[Jock123]

When I work in New York the majority of my clients are guys who are fed up with hook up culture and want to cut through the bs.

 

I'm noticing this trend as well. Alot of guys Under 30 Have hired me simply because they were tired of the back and forth that goes with Gay Apps/Websites. The assumption is those who hire are Older or Married(Or both) Not true at all. Some of the most attractive people I have met were through Hiring me.

[+ purplekow]

I just think it is all about offer and demand. Women who put out are not that common, whereas men who put out are a dime a dozen, therefore that allows us to be more specific about what we consider a fulfilling encounter.

 

In other words, in the middle of a famine, you'll eat anything and will consider yourself lucky; when you have an endless menu from which you can choose anything, you will be more specific about what you are craving at any given time.

 

Sadly it is the nature of the beast.

 

On a side note...

 

 

 

What are you trying to say? Because it looks as if you are saying that not wanting sex is more evolved than wanting it. And that is just bizarre.

The desire for sex is basic, animal and not very evolved. Doesn't make it bad, makes in basic and not requiring a great deal of evolution. Choosing not to have sex, for any one of a variety of reasons requires higher brain function and further evolution. So yes, I am saying just that. A male mouse can have sex. A female mouse may fight off the advance but ultimately the more powerful animal will win out. Only human beings, as evolved and as lacking in evolution as they are, can say no and actually have it mean something some of the time. Nothing bizarre about that. So saying no is a more evolved state. Not as much fun, but further up the evolutionary ladder. No can only mean no when you have evolved to the point that no means something.

[Jock123]

My Fristration came from Todays Dialogue with a guy..

 

He Hits me up. "Hi!"

I Respond with a "Hows it going Buddy? You gearing up for the Holidays"

His Response...Verbatim "Face pic"....I Send my Picture...He Responds "Cool, More Pics?"...Keep In mind I have yet to see his Face...

so I ask for a Face picture..."I dont send pics Discrete here"...Ok....So Am I.....I respond "Well I'd like to have an Idea of Whom Im talking to Haha"...

His response...Again Verbatim..."Bye"

[+ Gar1eth]

Unfortunately this kind of dialogue has gained traction in hook up culture because its allowed to work. I am in the same boat as you, I find it incredibly irritating and rarely hook up these days because my tolerance for bullshit is incredibly low. Even when sats are filled out on a profile these inane questions are still asked and my best solution to offer you is to hire an escort. When I work in New York the majority of my clients are guys who are fed up with hook up culture and want to cut through the bs.

 

Hook up culture is devoid for the most part of people who want to engage in substantive conversation. I will give you the same advice that was given to me, get a netflix subscription and a pint of Ben and Jerrys.

 

It's a good suggestion, Chris. But it ignores a central fact. While you may be disgusted with hook-up culture-and I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm betting you may still get the urge to indulge at times. After all you are a healthy attractive guy. And we all know the procreative urge is a strong human drive. So when you do decide to indulge, I'm betting you usually eventually achieve your goal. For me on the other getting 'lucky' is only slightly more common than an occurrence of February 29th. It's one thing to indulge with B & J and Netflix when you know it's because you choose them rather than being forced to them because you don't have any other choice.

 

But as the song says-

 

That's just the way it is. Some things will never change.

 

Gman

[Tigger]

Some guy on the app Mister X wanted to meet me without ever sending me a picture. His profile picture was blank. And he didn't send any pictures during the course of our conversation. I told him this was the plot of every Mystery Of The Week murder movie. He told me I had an overactive imagination. I said maybe it's not the plot to a murder mystery, but someone would have to be a complete idiot to be willing to meet someone not willing to send any photograph.

[+ purplekow]

Some guy on the app Mister X wanted to meet me without ever sending me a picture. His profile picture was blank. And he didn't send any pictures during the course of our conversation. I told him this was the plot of every Mystery Of The Week murder movie. He told me I had an overactive imagination. I said maybe it's not the plot to a murder mystery, but someone would have to be a complete idiot to be willing to meet someone not willing to send any photograph.

Might be worth going to a public place to meet. It seems that physical attractiveness was not going to be his strong suit, but may he would pay for coffee. Of course it someone thinks my imagination is overactive, then they are probably not going to be much fun anyway.

[MikeyGMin]

like a shopper who knows he is going to go home with a cut of beef, gay men want to know that the beef they are getting is lean, tender, hot and juicy. After all, the better the beef they leave with, the better the cooking at home.

 

Without a doubt gay men have higher standards. Have you ever run into an unattractive homophobe who makes a stupid comment about being in a locker room (or some place similar) with gay men because they would all be looking at him?

 

I was at a work party a couple years ago where I ran into one of these guys. I had a lot of fun explaining to him that he could be butt naked and bent over in the locker room and no gay man would give him the time of day.

 

It's funny to watch them try to decide if they are insulted or relieved.

[jawjateck]

My Fristration came from Todays Dialogue with a guy..

 

He Hits me up. "Hi!"

I Respond with a "Hows it going Buddy? You gearing up for the Holidays"

His Response...Verbatim "Face pic"....I Send my Picture...He Responds "Cool, More Pics?"...Keep In mind I have yet to see his Face...

so I ask for a Face picture..."I dont send pics Discrete here"...Ok....So Am I.....I respond "Well I'd like to have an Idea of Whom Im talking to Haha"...

His response...Again Verbatim..."Bye"

 

Forget the silly apps and game players. I will swap face pics.

[geminibear]

For me on the other getting 'lucky' is only slightly more common than an occurrence of February 29th. It's one thing to indulge with B & J and Netflix when you know it's because you choose them rather than being forced to them because you don't have any other choice.

 

Guess what Gman?!? 2016 is Leap Year!!! I think you should have a "Get Lucky Party" on Feb. 29.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RthEYvh6aMM

 

[+ quoththeraven]

It's a good suggestion, Chris. But it ignores a central fact. While you may be disgusted with hook-up culture-and I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm betting you may still get the urge to indulge at times. After all you are a healthy attractive guy. And we all know the procreative urge is a strong human drive. So when you do decide to indulge, I'm betting you usually eventually achieve your goal. For me on the other getting 'lucky' is only slightly more common than an occurrence of February 29th. It's one thing to indulge with B & J and Netflix when you know it's because you choose them rather than being forced to them because you don't have any other choice.

 

But as the song says-

 

That's just the way it is. Some things will never change.

 

Gman

 

You have had more hookups in the past year than I've had (0). This is in part because I have yet to arrange to have a photo taken (I am hopeless at selfies) and thus have not checked my OKCupid profile since I set it up. So stop bemoaning your situation and assuming anyone you like will drop you like a hot potato. You are not as bad off as you like to think you are.

 

If I find someone I'm interested in beyond coffee or a date, the possibilities for getting laid are pretty good, I suspect. I'm reasonably attractive and sexually confident. The only drawback is that I'm full-figured and short, but the rolls of fat are mostly only noticeable when I'm naked. At that point men who have sex with women are more interested in things like this (yes the song title is "Warm Hole"):

I generally like this group (turn on closed captioning for subtitles in English), but I think the song is stupid. But the MV is funny in a cringeworthy sort of way.

[geminibear]

Forget the silly apps and game players. I will swap face pics.

+1 with jawjateck,

 

I have been known to swap other things besides face pics FYI

[bigvalboy]

Unfortunately...past a certain age, swapping face pics is just too painful.

[rvwnsd]

My Frustrations with Gay men are reaching an all time High. WHAT Is it with These Apps/Websites where Everyone is like

 

"Hi"

"Looking"

"Yo"

 

Ok First off we are not Twelve. Speak In Full Sentences...Gracias!

 

And what Irks me more than ANYTHING are the guys who like to email all day. "Top/Bottom?" Whats Your Race" "How Big are You" Send me a Picture" Send me Another Picture" "Actually can You send 50 more Pictures"...

 

Many years ago I was exchanging messages with a guy on PlanetOut (I told you it was many years ago) who lived about five blocks away from me and about five blocks from where the local coffee shops, diners, ice cream parlors, and such were located. He was supposedly looking to date. He had a few pictures on his profile and I had a few more on mine than he had on his. We decided to meet for coffee, but he wanted more pics. I sent him a few more pics of me and asked him for a few more pics of himself. He sent me one. Then he asked for more pics. And more pics. And more pics. Finally, I had lost interest in him but was feeling like a smartass and sent him pics of my cats, my car, a painting I had in my living room, my coffee maker, my microwave, the trees in front of my bay window, and other random shit accompanied by a note that said "we could each invest 15 minutes of time and see what each other looks like in person." So we met. He no longer looked like his pictures.

[Guy Fawkes]

Of course not, you don't look at a watch when you nose deep in a butt... (Did I mention that it was a long weekend?)

 

http://tosh.cc.com/blog/files/2015/05/too-deep.jpg

 

I was at a work party a couple years ago where I ran into one of these guys. I had a lot of fun explaining to him that he could be butt naked and bent over in the locker room and no gay man would give him the time of day.

[+ Gar1eth]

Guess what Gman?!? 2016 is Leap Year!!! I think you should have a "Get Lucky Party" on Feb. 29.

My Own Private Leap Years don't necessarily correlate with the external one.

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RthEYvh6aMM

 

 

I'm not quite sure about why you posted Fugue For Tinhorns, Gbear. Are you the guy telling me I have a chance, or are you calling me a horse?

 

Gman

[Juan Vancouver]

The desire for sex is basic, animal and not very evolved. Doesn't make it bad, makes in basic and not requiring a great deal of evolution. Choosing not to have sex, for any one of a variety of reasons requires higher brain function and further evolution. So yes, I am saying just that. A male mouse can have sex. A female mouse may fight off the advance but ultimately the more powerful animal will win out. Only human beings, as evolved and as lacking in evolution as they are, can say no and actually have it mean something some of the time. Nothing bizarre about that. So saying no is a more evolved state. Not as much fun, but further up the evolutionary ladder. No can only mean no when you have evolved to the point that no means something.

 

Sorry to highjack the thread but I think this is kind of important to address. This is similar to stating that the pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain; at first it may seem plausible but under any kind of scrutiny it's evident this is just not true in any way.

 

To being with, animals say no to sex all the time. Also, taking the cognitive ability of understanding the abstract meaning of No as a proof that abstinence requires a higher brain function is nothing but a flight of fancy. They are not related.

 

I live to study sex. I constantly read anything about the subject. It is my passion. I feel very confident when I say that using what we humans know about Biology, Genetics, Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy and pretty much all our collectively amassed scientific knowledge your paragraph is not correct. The sex drive IS the very engine of evolution. Sexual reproduction IS the epitome of "evolved".

 

There is only one doctrine in which sexual desire is considered base and abstinence is considered evolved. There is only one lens through which your paragraph makes sense. This doctrine is called Religion. Specifically any of the Abrahamic religions. For millennia religious bias bled unto the way we studied and understood the world and deformed our ability to gain further knowledge on many subjects. Religion and its obsession with shame, guilt, sexual repression and sexual sublimation forced most people to believe what you just wrote. This saw its apogee during the reign of Sweet Old Queen Victoria, a sour, asexual and repressed monarch. Even half of Freud's theories are puritanically Victorian. Half of last century's ethical and moral treaties were tainted by this, but I assure you, we know better now.

 

It is the consensus amongst scientist studying the subject that sex is not lesser or base. It is also agreed that abstinence is not more evolved. As a matter of fact, the repression of sexual urges has a very negative effect on humans. Sexual repression, sexual shame and the attempt to sublimate the sexual urge into something more socially acceptable is a huge source of neurosis. The healthy expression of the sexual urge releases a number of important hormones, from oxytocin to dopamine, keeping your brain and physical body in a healthy state. Sexual expression is a very important factor in the process of socialization. We are build to connect, to love, to fuck, to reproduce. This is who we are.

 

We are also, miraculously able to understand complicated abstract thoughts and perform incredible intellectual feats.

 

I would like to invite all of us to make use of that intelligence and cut the religious sex-shame-cycle under which we have lived for such an eternity.

 

Being sex positive is healthy, evolved and ethical.

 

Spreading sex shaming by repeating religious moralistic bias dressed up in scientific jargon is only damaging. We have lived long enough with this shame.

 

The words we use matter. Let's pick them carefully.

[geminibear]

Sorry to highjack the thread but I think this is kind of important to address.

 

Oh come off of it. No your not.

[+ purplekow]

Sorry to highjack the thread but I think this is kind of important to address. This is similar to stating that the pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain; at first it may seem plausible but under any kind of scrutiny it's evident this is just not true in any way.

 

To being with, animals say no to sex all the time. Also, taking the cognitive ability of understanding the abstract meaning of No as a proof that abstinence requires a higher brain function is nothing but a flight of fancy. They are not related.

 

I live to study sex. I constantly read anything about the subject. It is my passion. I feel very confident when I say that using what we humans know about Biology, Genetics, Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy and pretty much all our collectively amassed scientific knowledge your paragraph is not correct. The sex drive IS the very engine of evolution. Sexual reproduction IS the epitome of "evolved".

 

There is only one doctrine in which sexual desire is considered base and abstinence is considered evolved. There is only one lens through which your paragraph makes sense. This doctrine is called Religion. Specifically any of the Abrahamic religions. For millennia religious bias bled unto the way we studied and understood the world and deformed our ability to gain further knowledge on many subjects. Religion and its obsession with shame, guilt, sexual repression and sexual sublimation forced most people to believe what you just wrote. This saw its apogee during the reign of Sweet Old Queen Victoria, a sour, asexual and repressed monarch. Even half of Freud's theories are puritanically Victorian. Half of last century's ethical and moral treaties were tainted by this, but I assure you, we know better now.

 

It is the consensus amongst scientist studying the subject that sex is not lesser or base. It is also agreed that abstinence is not more evolved. As a matter of fact, the repression of sexual urges has a very negative effect on humans. Sexual repression, sexual shame and the attempt to sublimate the sexual urge into something more socially acceptable is a huge source of neurosis. The healthy expression of the sexual urge releases a number of important hormones, from oxytocin to dopamine, keeping your brain and physical body in a healthy state. Sexual expression is a very important factor in the process of socialization. We are build to connect, to love, to fuck, to reproduce. This is who we are.

 

We are also, miraculously able to understand complicated abstract thoughts and perform incredible intellectual feats.

 

I would like to invite all of us to make use of that intelligence and cut the religious sex-shame-cycle under which we have lived for such an eternity.

 

Being sex positive is healthy, evolved and ethical.

 

Spreading sex shaming by repeating religious moralistic bias dressed up in scientific jargon is only damaging. We have lived long enough with this shame.

 

The words we use matter. Let's pick them carefully.

What is sure is that either I was very unclear or you were very off in your interpretation of my post which in an attempt to be mild amusing suggested that women were more evolved than men because they can more easily say no to sex.

 

 

Just to be clear: I said sex was basic, not base. The ability to make a decision to abstain until you get off the elevator, until the morning, until you get married, until the Kow comes home, is evolved not the actual decision itself, just the ability to make it. The ability to consciously control behavior is more evolved than basic sexual interaction. Yes, the big head came after the little head in the evolutionary cycle. That is not religious moralistic bias nor scientific jargon.

 

I think you made some cogent arguments but it is now clear to me that we are interpreting the concept of evolving differently.

 

The words we use do matter, I agree picking them carefully is important. In this case, there is no basis to suggest I used the word base, I do not use the words base and basic interchangeably. And animals do not say no to sex, they may refuse it, reject it, communicate an unwillingness, signal disinterest, dismiss advances, but very few animals say any thing.

Love the passion, hated the school teacher shaking her finger at the class ending to your post.

Take care.

[AdamSmith]

Forget the silly apps and game players. I will swap face pics.

Or: Forget the silly apps, go out, find someone in person, bring them home.

 

Forgive my being such a Luddite.