James Deen accused of rape

[+ Gar1eth]

Famous? George Clooney is famous. This guy is "niche" famous at best. I couldn't find anyone last night who had any idea who he was at the restaurant in Manhattan I was at.

 

What a ridiculous post. Would these people know anything about porn stars? I wouldn't expect my mother to know who he is either. Obviously I was talking about people who are familiar with porn stars. According to an ABC News article from a year or so ago-he's been in over 4000 porn films. And depending on who these people at the restaurant were-would they even admit to knowing who a porn star was?

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

I'm not saying it hasn't been true in the past. And I think it still does happen today. But I do not believe it every time some news story reports it. Although in this case, Deen may be guilty. But I also don't think you can get away from the fact that they are he said/she said narratives. No one unless they are in the room, listening to a tape, or watching a video can really know what goes on.

 

Gman

 

It comes down to do you believe women or not? I've advanced all the reasons why women (or others who are victims of rape) do not report it. We've been so brainwashed in favor of sexual shame and fucked up dynamics that we often don't recognize rape even when it happens to us.

 

For the record, the closest I've come to experiencing rape is having someone I've consented to have sex with continue after being told "I'm ready for breakfast now." His response when I called him on it later? "I didn't think you meant it." FFS, if I didn't mean it, why would I say it? What I got out of it was that he wasn't ready to stop and was "reading my body" for consent as opposed to my words.

 

For more context, he'd asked earlier if I wanted to stop, and I'd said no. Nevertheless, I should have the right to change my mind. And his subjective perception that I still wanted it is WRONG.

 

I could probably have stopped things, but only at the expense of a screaming match and an argument I didn't want to get into.

[+ quoththeraven]

A rape case isn't proven just because it isn't "demonstrably false." In the United States, one is still supposed to be considered innocent unless proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt. It is not up to the acused to have to prove his innocence beyond reasonable doubt. He isn't guilty just because only 7% of rape accusations are false (and that's if one is to believe that statistic). If a woman is raped, she should promptly go to a hospital ER and have the findings documented so that the case can be properly investigated.

 

You're acting as though a crime only occurred if it can be proved through the legal system. For someone who hates the legal system so much and has so little faith in it, your good opinion of it in this case is ... interesting and inconsistent.

 

You seemingly have no ability to empathize with how traumatized someone whose personal boundaries have been violated through sex feels. Men who are the victims of rape report at even lower percentages. (And men can be raped by women, too.) You also don't recognize that many people are so brainwashed that when non-consensual sex occurs, they don't recognize it for what it is, or excuse it.

 

For the millionth time, just as burglaries can occur without being reported to the police, so can rapes. You're free to dismiss them all under the convenient rubric of "innocent until proven guilty." (Which, I agree, has to be the standard applied in journalism; they are allegations, but there's increasingly more and more support for them.)

 

I think what's discomfiting people here is that with other crimes, we don't connect the crime as closely with who's being accused; we can believe that someone was robbed or was burglarized without having to believe that a specific person did the robbing or burglarizing. But with rape, who the other person is/was is an integral part of the accusation.

 

Nevertheless, women as a whole don't lie more than any other group (in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if as a group they are more truthful than that other group). Disbelieving women who make rape accusations just reinforces sexual shame rather than destroying it. And I'm fucking fed up with it.

 

It seems as though the only thing you may have learned from the Bill Cosby debacle is not to rush to accuse women making such statements of doing it to collect payouts in civil litigation. Attitudes like that are what allowed a predator like Cosby to operate unmolested for years. How is that a good result?

[MrMiniver]

It comes down to do you believe women or not? I've advanced all the reasons why women (or others who are victims of rape) do not report it. We've been so brainwashed in favor of sexual shame and fucked up dynamics that we often don't recognize rape even when it happens to us.

 

For the record, the closest I've come to rape is having someone I've consented to have sex with continue after being told "I'm ready for breakfast now." His response when I called him on it later? "I didn't think you meant it." FFS, if I didn't mean it, why would I say it? What I got out of it was that he wasn't ready to stop and was "reading my body" for consent as opposed to my words.

 

For more context, he'd asked earlier if I wanted to stop, and I'd said no. Nevertheless, I should have the right to change my mind. And his subjective perception that I still wanted it is WRONG.

 

I could probably have stopped things, but only at the expense of a screaming match and an argument I didn't want to get into.

 

Gosh, I can't imagine living in a world as simple and black and white as "do you believe women or not?" I need to know facts about individual cases about whether or not I am going to believe the woman. Or the man, for that matter.

[+ WilliamM]

QTR, Even I am confused.

 

To be fair, you did write the closest I have come to rape.

 

For more context, he'd asked earlier if I wanted to stop, and I'd said no. Nevertheless, I should have the right to change my mind. And his subjective perception that I still wanted it is WRONG.

 

I could probably have stopped things, but only at the expense of a screaming match and an argument I didn't want to get into.

[+ quoththeraven]

QTR, Even I am confused.

 

To be fair, you did write the closest I have come to rape.

 

Sorry, I meant to being raped.

 

Women rape men through such means as going down on them while they're sleeping after they've said no to sex or climbing on top of them when they have morning wood and are barely if at all conscious. While I have tried to kiss someone who didn't want to be kissed and made passes that weren't reciprocated (and in one case ended a friendship), I have never nor would ever take things to the point where it could be called rape, which is non-consensual penetration or other sexual activity. I'm not going to go into my definition of sexual activity, but I think it should include an expectation that at least one party is going to get off on it.

[+ quoththeraven]

This interview of Stoya by Melissa Gira Grant, a former sex worker who writes about the industry and is the author of a well-regard book about prostitution (that I have yet to read), is telling in making the connection between Stoya's silence (and that of others) and sex work.

 

How Stoya took on James Deen and broke the porn industry's silence (The Guardian)

 

Excerpts:

 

That silence was filled almost immediately by other porn performers, some with allegations similar to Stoya’s, and about the same man, and saying that, despite what the reporters and critics and fans might have been wondering, yes, no matter what you see on screen, a porn performer has a right to her boundaries, on-set and off – and that yes, they believed her. That chorus of voices that followed Stoya’s shook the porn industry. They reverberated, and now the public is hearing, perhaps as loudly as ever, about the particular structural problems the porn industry contends with, and the persistent and pernicious idea that sex workers are by definition unrapeable. So what change has Stoya’s intervention made – and what remains?

 

When the story broke, said Arabelle Raphael, a porn performer who told me she had followed it very closely, “It was a big relief. Finally, someone had put it out there.” The porn scene isn’t all that huge, and this was especially close to home, she told me. Back in 2010, Raphael had done her first scene in porn with James Deen. Some years later, one of her close friends in the industry told her Deen had assaulted her.

 

“People knew,” Raphael said. “A lot of people knew. I don’t think everyone knew. And some people had really good experiences with him, but that doesn’t mean anything.” Performers let each other know what they had heard about Deen, she said. “I remember getting ready for my first gang bang, and I was talking to people – what should I know, I’ve never done this before, I was really nervous, do you have any tips? And two people were like: put James Deen on your ‘no’ list” – the performers she would not do scenes with.

 

Another excerpt:

 

In the few days since Stoya’s tweets, eight other women have also gone public. Tori Lux, Ashley Fires, Amber Rayne, Kora Peters, Nicki Blue, Lily LaBeau, and a woman writing as T.M., all say Deen has assaulted them, too. In the aftermath of those allegations, Deen’s career is crumbling. (He has not commented on any of them, to any of the outlets that have approached him.) Porn companies severed ties and website The Frisky killed his column for ever. Fans razed his GIFs from Tumblr. A sex toy in his likeness was pulled from production.

 

On 2 December, Joanna Angel spoke out about Deen, using a radio appearance to accuse Deen of assaulting her multiple times, and saying that once she thought to herself, “I am going to die here.”

 

“This is the first time that there have been not only so many women coming out about one person, but so many people are actually having this conversation,” Raphael said. “Because we don’t want to talk about it. Everybody thinks this is already happening, because we’re doing sex work. And we don’t want to talk about having been assaulted, because of the stereotypes that all sex workers are assaulted.”

 

Deen has, for some time, occupied a peculiar niche. His looks were read as atypical for porn – boyish and approachable, passably hipster. Female commentators held him up as the porn star even a feminist could like, while he insisted he was not a feminist himself. In the business, whispers and rumours about Deen had been out there, Stoya said – the private, off-set warnings. But in public? “Nobody was saying anything. And I didn’t feel like I could say anything. But from what I hear – because I am not looking at my Twitter mentions – the way the public conversation is going is shockingly good in some ways. But also there is ‘Well, you know you can’t rape a sex worker,’ or ‘She still defends porn when she was raped by a pornographer’ – everybody has got their own fucking agenda, and that’s why I was scared to say something. I don’t know the reasons for other women, why they felt they had to keep quiet, but it just got to be too much.”

 

The stigma fuelling those messages – that no one would do porn willingly, so the line between porn and rape doesn’t matter, but also that porn performers who are raped are at fault – is responsible for keeping porn performers silent. It is what puts them at risk.

 

More about the actual incident she described in her tweet:

 

She was in San Francisco when it happened, Stoya said. She and Deen were not at work. I asked her what words she would use to describe it now. “If you hold someone down and fuck them while they say ‘no’ and ‘stop’ and use their fucking safeword, that is rape. But when it first happened, I felt numb. And I went to work the next day. And I went to work the day after that. And I did a scene with him two days after, maybe three days after, I’m not sure. Then I felt like I’d been violated by someone I trusted.” She said this was relationship violence. She said she would try to bring it up with him: what happened, what had he been thinking? He would tell her, she said, that her tears were “abusive”.

 

“It took me months and months and months,” she said, “over a year of months to be able to be able to call it what it was – which was rape.”

 

[This is in fact how most people - male, female, nonbinary - who've been raped by someone they know feel. They don't recognize it as rape right away. That's what saying it's he said, she said, inherently untrustworthy, etc. has done to us. Those are excuses happily seized upon by those who don't care about consent to shield themselves. Please, for the love of God, those of you spouting these lines, stop enabling non-consensual sex - ed.]

Final excerpt:

“It’s hard to understand the weight of that stigma, and how heavy that burden is, unless you’ve been in it,” Leathers said. “I’ve gotten death threats, for instance, just for doing porn.” This stigma is also of a piece with what some feminists have termed rape culture. “And sadly rape and rape culture exist everywhere,” said Raphael. “Look at how colleges deal with on-campus rapes. Cops get away with raping sex workers. Look at Hollywood.”

 

Stoya’s inbox, on the first day after she tweeted her story, was filled with emails from other women, she said – not only from porn, but from across the media – thanking her, and telling her that they, too, had been sexually assaulted by men they knew, and had stayed silent. “It’s not just a porn problem,” said Stoya. “It’s not just an entertainment problem. It’s easy to look at Bill Cosby and think, oh, he had access. No. It happens fucking everywhere.”

 

The work that must be done, then, to end violence against porn performers isn’t up to the porn industry alone, as performers told me, if at all. “In order for this stuff to stop happening in porn,” Raphael said, “we have to get it to stop happening in society.”

 

It says something that the porn industry by and large stands behind the women who've come forward while society at large mocks and disbelieves most if not all reports of acquaintance rape. This is one of the reasons why I'll never be an anti-sex work feminist. Liberation operates in the sexual realm too; sex work is not all exploitation.

 

Part of the reason people stand behind them is that they've worked with them, know them, and know that they're people who are truthful and have integrity. That's also why their fans -- many of whom were also Deen's fans -- believe them.

[mike carey]

Slightly tangential, but an interesting flow on from the outrage of men-ists after a man who called journalist Clementine Ford a slut on social media was fired from his hotel job. He had been clever enough to use his real name and to reference his employer in his profile. The hashtag has been trending near the top in Australia for the past 24 hours.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-12-04/secret-facebook-group-to-name-men-who-troll-women/6997652

[Guest]

You're acting as though a crime only occurred if it can be proved through the legal system. For someone who hates the legal system so much and has so little faith in it, your good opinion of it in this case is ... interesting and inconsistent.

You seemingly have no ability to empathize with how traumatized someone whose personal boundaries have been violated through sex feels....

It seems as though the only thing you may have learned from the Bill Cosby debacle is not to rush to accuse women making such statements of doing it to collect payouts in civil litigation. Attitudes like that are what allowed a predator like Cosby to operate unmolested for years.

 

You are right that I have a low regard for many aspects of our legal system, including especially rules of evidence, the use of unpaid slave labor for juries (even for civil cases!), and especially the manner in which the financial resources of the litigant is probably the most important factor in determining the outcome of the case. I'm definitely not inconsistent, and I certainly have no lack of empathy for victims of crime, especially if that victim cannot get restitution. That being said, one aspect of our legal system that I fully support is the at least theoretical principle that a person is considered innocent of a crime unless proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

You seem to have no trouble convicting in your mind anyone who's accused, and this seems to be the popular mindset as well. According to the article in the original post, James Deen has been fired from all of his jobs and unable to land any other gig although, as far as I can tell, he hasn't even been charged or indicted with any crime, let alone convicted. What is there to "learn" from the Bill Cosby "debacle"? As far as I can see, he hasn't been charged or indicted with any crime either, although there are plenty of women coming out of the woodwork seeking big $$. Do I suspect Bill Cosby is a rapist? Yes, I have a feeling that he more likely than not is. Do I know Bill Cosby is a rapist? No. If those women really were raped, I feel awful for them. But if what they say is true, their silence is what enabled Mr. Cosby to continue his mis-deeds. I'm not overjoyed by the fact that they're only choosing to speak when they feel it might bring financial gain.

Perjury for profit can be very good business in our legal climate.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LdtZnuOG6Uw/UfCNytF3NdI/AAAAAAAAChM/kVTObrntE2o/s1600/DR_Swear.jpg

 

It was great business for Crystal Mangum. She was the lying skank who falsely accused the Duke University lacrosse players of raping her. In 2006, Jesse Jackson promised the Rainbow/Push Coalition would pay the college tuition for Mangum. Jackson said it would not matter if Mangum fabricated her story, the tuition offer would still be good. No matter that she ruined the lives of massive numbers of people. Accusation = guilt. What more do you want? She also pulled a good profit from her "memoir" of this non-rape in the book The Last Dance for Grace: The Crystal Mangum Story. As it turns out, she was involved in multiple other crimes since then. On April 3, 2011, Mangum stabbed and killed her boyfriend, Reginald Daye. She was convicted on November 15, 2013, of second-degree murder.

 

Then there was the lying skank who falsely accused Kobe Bryant of rape. The charges weren't dropped until it was proven she was a liar. That didn't stop her from collecting a financial settlement for an undisclosed amount.

 

Other examples include the recent fraternity rape hoax (I can't remember which university, but it was published in Rolling Stone magazine as I recall), and singer Conor Oberst's false accuser, Joanie Faircloth.

http://www.spin.com/2014/07/conor-obersts-name-cleared-rape-accuser-admits-she-lied/

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/conor-oberst-rape-accuser-i-made-up-lies-to-get-attention-20140714

Of course, there's also Justin Bieber, who is awash with multiple false paternity claims:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2333030/Justin-Bieber-hit-ANOTHER-paternity-claim-unidentified-woman-25-says-singer-father-daughter-night-stand-years-ago.html

 

So, yes I have nothing but sympathy for rape victims. This does not mean, however, that I will consider every rape accusation to be true. We must be guided by facts, not emotion. And, by the way, it's impossible to know what percentage of rape accusations are false. It depends on what standards you apply. Different studies have come to many different conclusions:

 

A selection of findings on the prevalence of false rape allegations. Data from Rumney (2006).

Number False reporting rate (%)

Theilade and Thomsen (1986) 1 out of 56

4 out of 39 1.5% (minimum)

10% (maximum)

New York Rape Squad (1974) n/a 2%

Hursch and Selkin (1974) 10 out of 545 2%

Kelly et al. (2005) 67 out of 2,643 3% ("possible" and "probable" false allegations)

22% (recorded by police as "no-crime")

Geis (1978) n/a 3–31% (estimates given by police surgeons)

Smith (1989) 17 out of 447 3.8%

U.S. Department of Justice (1997) n/a 8%

Clark and Lewis (1977) 12 out of 116 10.3%

Harris and Grace (1999) 53 out of 483

123 out of 483 10.9% ("false/malicious" claims)

25% (recorded by police as "no-crime")

Lea et al. (2003) 42 out of 379 11%

HMCPSI/HMIC (2002) 164 out of 1,379 11.8%

McCahill et al. (1979) 218 out of 1,198 18.2%

Philadelphia police study (1968) 74 out of 370 20%

Chambers and Millar (1983) 44 out of 196 22.4%

Grace et al. (1992) 80 out of 335 24%

Jordan (2004) 68 out of 164

62 out of 164 41% ("false" claims)

38% (viewed by police as "possibly true/possibly false")

Kanin (1994) 45 out of 109 41%

Gregory and Lees (1996) 49 out of 109 45%

Maclean (1979) 16 out of 34 47%

Stewart (1981) 16 out of 18 90%

[calrichmond]

Getting back to the accusation, I have doubts. If she was raped, she should have gone to the police. Reporting the incident on social media could be a publicity stunt.

[Decatur Guy]

Not to make light of the situation or the allegations, but this makes me wonder if James Deen will end up doing the gay-for-pay route with a gay video company willing to overlook the allegations.

 

I would imagine that must be going through the minds of some producers right now.

[+ quoththeraven]

Getting back to the accusation, I have doubts. If she was raped, she should have gone to the police. Reporting the incident on social media could be a publicity stunt.

 

Stoya doesn't need the publicity. She's plenty famous as it is.

 

Besides, how do you explain everyone else coming out of the woodwork?

 

If someone I knew raped me (beyond what I've already described, which was non-consensual but might not meet the specifics of the statute), I would go for a rape kit and report if he was not my boss or someone with authority over me. But I would probably not cooperate with a prosecution even if the DA wanted to go forward. Tie my life up in those knots, have that hanging over me, knowing there would inevitably be people who think I'm a shout who deserved it? No thanks. I have better things to do with my life.

 

If he was my boss or someone with authority over me, I'm not sure what I'd do. I might prioritize getting the hell away over invoking the legal system at all.

 

As a lawyer and observer, I am aware of the hell women who report rapes are put through. I still say the refusal to believe is fundamentally sexist. As a society, we still believe it's only truly rape if a stranger and violence are involved. I am fucking sick of it.

[mike carey]

If you say you didn't consent that means you didn't consent. Any further discussion is immaterial.

 

That applies to MF sex, MM sex and FF sex. There is no difference.

[+ quoththeraven]

If you say you didn't consent that means you didn't consent. Any further discussion is immaterial.

 

That applies to MF sex, MM sex and FF sex. There is no difference.

 

Why is this such a hard concept to understand?

[calrichmond]

Stoya doesn't need the publicity. She's plenty famous as it is.

 

Besides, how do you explain everyone else coming out of the woodwork?

 

If someone I knew raped me (beyond what I've already described, which was non-consensual but might not meet the specifics of the statute), I would go for a rape kit and report if he was not my boss or someone with authority over me. But I would probably not cooperate with a prosecution even if the DA wanted to go forward. Tie my life up in those knots, have that hanging over me, knowing there would inevitably be people who think I'm a shout who deserved it? No thanks. I have better things to do with my life.

 

If he was my boss or someone with authority over me, I'm not sure what I'd do. I might prioritize getting the hell away over invoking the legal system at all.

 

As a lawyer and observer, I am aware of the hell women who report rapes are put through. I still say the refusal to believe is fundamentally sexist. As a society, we still believe it's only truly rape if a stranger and violence are involved. I am fucking sick of it.

I reread the posts, and I have changed my mind. I apologize for instantly assuming she was lying in order to gain publicity. I suppose it was the fact he's hot (to me) that swayed me in his favor. I am shallow.

 

It doesn't make sense for someone (and others) to make these accusations lightly. Also, rape victims shouldn't have to be treated badly in order to get justice.

 

Next time I will think before posting.

[+ quoththeraven]

I reread the posts, and I have changed my mind. I apologize for instantly assuming she was lying in order to gain publicity. I suppose it was the fact he's hot (to me) that swayed me in his favor. I am shallow.

 

It doesn't make sense for someone (and others) to make these accusations lightly. Also, rape victims shouldn't have to be treated badly in order to get justice.

 

Next time I will think before posting.

 

\o/ (That's internet speak for hooray!)

[+ Gar1eth]

If you say you didn't consent that means you didn't consent. Any further discussion is immaterial.

 

That applies to MF sex, MM sex and FF sex. There is no difference.

 

 

I can accept this. But I -and I am in no way an advocate of forced entry. But if everything was hunky-dory beforehand. Then after insertion, the insert-ee (whether male or female) decides they'd rather not for whatever reason-I can definitely see it could possibly take the insert-er a bit of time to comply depending on the circumstances-especially if alcohol or drugs is involved-and not all parties are compos mentis. We aren't machines-we can't always stop immediately. Now I'm only talking about a minute or two. I'm not talking about taking 5 minutes to disengage.

 

I'm also not saying that's what happened in the Deen Cases. I'm also not saying that's ever happened to me. I've never been high or drunk while knowing someone biblically. And the few times someone has said it hurt-I've withdrawn immediately.

 

Screaming stop or actively pushing against the insert-er are not what I'm talking about either. In those cases dismounting should be almost immediate.

 

Gman

[sincitymix]

I can accept this. But I -and I am in no way an advocate of forced entry. But if everything was hunky-dory beforehand. Then after insertion, the insert-ee (whether male or female) decides they'd rather not for whatever reason-I can definitely see it could possibly take the insert-er a bit of time to comply depending on the circumstances-especially if alcohol or drugs is involved-and not all parties are compos mentis. We aren't machines-we can't always stop immediately. Now I'm only talking about a minute or two. I'm not talking about taking 5 minutes to disengage.

 

I'm also not saying that's what happened in the Deen Cases. I'm also not saying that's ever happened to me. I've never been high or drunk while knowing someone biblically. And the few times someone has said it hurt-I've withdrawn immediately.

 

Screaming stop or actively pushing against the insert-er are not what I'm talking about either. In those cases dismounting should be almost immediate.

 

Gman

 

Well Im sure my experience would not be considered rape, though i am very sure that was what was in the mind of the guy.

Was at a friends house while i was still in high school, he was "straight" and i wasn't out yet. after awhile of watching tv and playing video games, he gave me a glass of iced tea, after much rattling around in the bathroom cabinets and kitchen cabinets, followed by some loud banging noises on the counter. I noticed little bits of crushed up white particles floating in it. Obviously i knew it was not sugar. The moment his back was turned it went right into his mothers potted plant.

He kept watching me very intently, asking if i was feeling alright and if i was tired.. I stretched, yawned and said i was.. He helped me up and practically carried me to his room, put me on his bed and told me to take a nap while he worked out with some weights. I pretended to fall asleep. Boom, he was on me, kissing me, taking off my clothes, and kept saying things like "its allright, its a dream, shh" "relax, enjoy it" etc. covering my mouth with his hand, and pushing my face into a pillow to muffle the cries. Im pretty sure it was obvious i was NOT sleeping or out of it, but he kept saying shhh its a dream.

The next day i tried to hint around what happened, he played stupid and said i must have been dreaming..and that i was a fag for even thinking hed do anything like that, and refused to discuss it what so ever, to the point of avoiding me.

So in this case, he thought he was raping me, but to me it wasn't. he was hot, well built, and hung like a champ.

HOWEVER

I did find out that another mutual friend, a girl, had experienced the same tactic, though she unfortunately did not notice the crushed up tablet, and experienced true rape by him. She has spotty images of him on top of her, pain, and panic. She didn't know if it really happened, although she said her vagina was really sore.

I told her of my encounter with him, which she was shocked to hear. I told her she was drugged, and more then likely raped. I told her to tell her parents, which she refused right off, her dad was in the military and ultra religious and conservative, they would pretty much blame her for being a slut and disown her, especially since she was now no longer a virgin.

I went on with the list of the usual, tell her priest, counselor at school, a teacher, the POLICE.

She said no to everything, that she wanted to forget the whole thing, and she didn't want her parents to find out. She begged me not to tell anyone. I, to my discredit, did not tell anyone. I thought at the time i would help her in other ways and help keep her trust.. and i was pretty young at the time too. A few months later she moved away, and i lost touch with her.

[+ Gar1eth]

Well Im sure my experience would not be considered rape, though i am very sure that was what was in the mind of the guy.

Was at a friends house while i was still in high school, he was "straight" and i wasn't out yet. after awhile of watching tv and playing video games, he gave me a glass of iced tea, after much rattling around in the bathroom cabinets and kitchen cabinets, followed by some loud banging noises on the counter. I noticed little bits of crushed up white particles floating in it. Obviously i knew it was not sugar. The moment his back was turned it went right into his mothers potted plant.

He kept watching me very intently, asking if i was feeling alright and if i was tired.. I stretched, yawned and said i was.. He helped me up and practically carried me to his room, put me on his bed and told me to take a nap while he worked out with some weights. I pretended to fall asleep. Boom, he was on me, kissing me, taking off my clothes, and kept saying things like "its allright, its a dream, shh" "relax, enjoy it" etc. covering my mouth with his hand, and pushing my face into a pillow to muffle the cries. Im pretty sure it was obvious i was NOT sleeping or out of it, but he kept saying shhh its a dream.

The next day i tried to hint around what happened, he played stupid and said i must have been dreaming..and that i was a fag for even thinking hed do anything like that, and refused to discuss it what so ever, to the point of avoiding me.

So in this case, he thought he was raping me, but to me it wasn't. he was hot, well built, and hung like a champ.

HOWEVER

I did find out that another mutual friend, a girl, had experienced the same tactic, though she unfortunately did not notice the crushed up tablet, and experienced true rape by him. She has spotty images of him on top of her, pain, and panic. She didn't know if it really happened, although she said her vagina was really sore.

I told her of my encounter with him, which she was shocked to hear. I told her she was drugged, and more then likely raped. I told her to tell her parents, which she refused right off, her dad was in the military and ultra religious and conservative, they would pretty much blame her for being a slut and disown her, especially since she was now no longer a virgin.

I went on with the list of the usual, tell her priest, counselor at school, a teacher, the POLICE.

She said no to everything, that she wanted to forget the whole thing, and she didn't want her parents to find out. She begged me not to tell anyone. I, to my discredit, did not tell anyone. I thought at the time i would help her in other ways and help keep her trust.. and i was pretty young at the time too. A few months later she moved away, and i lost touch with her.

 

Well obviously your female friend was raped and you were a 'victim' of attempted rape. Whatever became of this 'straight' friend of yours?

 

Gman

[sincitymix]

Well obviously your female friend was raped and you were a 'victim' of attempted rape. Whatever became of this 'straight' friend of yours?

 

Gman

His dad was transferred to another base, somewhere in Georgia (the state not the country ).. pretty much all I know about him after that. I sometimes type in his name wondering if ill come up with a prison or arrest record.. so far nada.

[+ quoththeraven]

If someone I knew raped me (beyond what I've already described, which was non-consensual but might not meet the specifics of the statute), I would go for a rape kit and report if he was not my boss or someone with authority over me. But I would probably not cooperate with a prosecution even if the DA wanted to go forward. Tie my life up in those knots, have that hanging over me, knowing there would inevitably be people who think I'm a shout who deserved it? No thanks. I have better things to do with my life.

 

If he was my boss or someone with authority over me, I'm not sure what I'd do. I might prioritize getting the hell away over invoking the legal system at all.

 

As a lawyer and observer, I am aware of the hell women who report rapes are put through. I still say the refusal to believe is fundamentally sexist. As a society, we still believe it's only truly rape if a stranger and violence are involved. I am fucking sick of it.

 

If it were a fucker like this, I'd report. But since his MO is to prey on the poor and marginalized (drug addicts with felony records), I'm unlikely to be a target.

 

http://bigstory.ap.org/urn:publicid:ap.org:727d9097b4c34f27b0e57429f3086aa8

 

There have been too many reports of criminals out of uniform dressing up as officers in addition to the officers who abuse their authority.

 

Also, why isn't Daniel Holtzclaw's name a household word? I only know of him because of the predominance of social justice tweets in my Twitter stream. Note, I follow zero social justice accounts. But a lot of Twitter friends I've connected with over books and writing, all female and some PoC, have social concerns they tweet or retweet about.

 

The police department already fired him for misconduct. He hasn't testified in his own behalf. 13 women testified against him. I will be shocked if none of the charges stick.

[Guest]

Was at a friends house while i was still in high school, he was "straight" and i wasn't out yet. after awhile of watching tv and playing video games, he gave me a glass of iced tea, after much rattling around in the bathroom cabinets and kitchen cabinets, followed by some loud banging noises on the counter. I noticed little bits of crushed up white particles floating in it. Obviously i knew it was not sugar. The moment his back was turned it went right into his mothers potted plant.

He kept watching me very intently, asking if i was feeling alright and if i was tired.. I stretched, yawned and said i was.. He helped me up and practically carried me to his room, put me on his bed and told me to take a nap while he worked out with some weights. I pretended to fall asleep. Boom, he was on me, kissing me, taking off my clothes, and kept saying things like "it's all right, it's a dream, shh" "relax, enjoy it" etc. covering my mouth with his hand, and pushing my face into a pillow to muffle the cries. I'm pretty sure it was obvious i was NOT sleeping or out of it, but he kept saying shhh it's a dream.

 

Yikes. If it were me, I'd have run out of there ASAP, preferably with the glass of iced tea to take the the police station as evidence. May I ask why you went along with this whole scene? Did you have some sort of "rape" fantasy?

[sincitymix]

Yikes. If it were me, I'd have run out of there ASAP, preferably with the glass of iced tea to take the the police station as evidence. May I ask why you went along with this whole scene? Did you have some sort of "rape" fantasy?

I had the hugest crush on him. naughty dreams, doodling hearts on paper imagining us married wet dreams crush. so yeah. I knew what he was doing and I wanted him very very badly despite how he was going about it.

super horny teenage lust hormones.

[+ Gar1eth]

I had the hugest crush on him. naughty dreams, doodling hearts on paper imagining us married wet dreams crush. so yeah. I knew what he was doing and I wanted him very very badly despite how he was going about it.

super horny teenage lust hormones.

 

I hope he used a condom.

 

Gman

[josh282282]

Below is the link to an interview James Deen just gave.

 

But first, some thoughts:

1) Rape is never ok. Those found guilty in a court of law should be imprisoned for a very long time.

2) I firmly believe in our Constitution and the legal concept of innocent till proven guilty.

3) I am a vehement supporter of womans rights and gender equality. Anyone suggesting I feel otherwise will be ignored.

3) Anyone can say anything via Twitter or other social media, including an online interview like the one below. Truth is not always important.

4) I am known by those who know me to withhold judgement and opinion till as many facts are available. In my opinion, there are not enough facts available yet to date to fully render an intelligent opinion on the rape allegations. But it's quite impressive to me that Twitter is the new societal accusation source, rather than a court of law.

 

 

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/12/08/james-deen-breaks-his-silence-i-am-completely-baffled.html