WHY do Escorts Fell the Need to Bareback????

[Argos]

This Wednesday I was in San Francisco and hooked up with a well reviewed escort on this site. We had been together in the past and I immediately felt at ease with this guy and had an excellent time. When we hooked up on Wednesday night we had another hot session but I was taken back when I asked him to top me, and after lubing up, he tried to proceed with barebacking me. I did not ask him to bareback but I also didn't let him initially know that I only engaged in safer sex. During our earlier session I topped him and used a condom. The escort never discussed my disease status and had no idea whether I was HIV + or -. I really like the guy and it bothers me that he was willing to put himself at risk especially when I wasn't requesting that he do so. Once I told him that I only engaged in safer sex he promptly slipped on a condom and we went on to have an incredible hot and penetrating evening. My question: What makes an escort think he needs to bareback when the client doesn't even request it? Why is the escort willing to put himself at risk when he has no idea what the client's disease status is and doesn't even bother to ask?

[VaHawk]

"My question: What makes an escort think he needs to bareback when the client doesn't even request it? Why is the escort willing to put himself at risk when he has no idea what the client's disease status is and doesn't even bother to ask?"

 

And my question is: Why do you feel that this ONE encounter of YOURS, should be taken as a broad extrapolation on all escort/client interactions?

[Argos]

VaHawk- I didn't mean to generalize and indicate that all escorts engage in this type of activity. However, my experience has been several escorts are willing to bareback even when I did not ask them to. I have given in a few times and it was a bad judgment call on my part. I can only say that I am glad I wasn't infected. I am just curious why escorts are willing to bareback without even being asked to do so. I recognize may escorts only engage in safer sex practices but I simply want to know why others think it is not necessary to do so.

[VaHawk]

Okay, as I was not intending to castigate you or your experiences. I guess I'm at a loss, as I have never had any escort/client experience where safe sexual practices weren't engaged.

 

Glad to hear that you are healthy, but I hope you practice safely in the future!

[Argos]

VaHawk-- Obviously the sensation of a great barebacking session can't be understated but I decided several months ago that I simply didn't want to deal with the stress of not know whether I was infected or not. I have never let an escort top me without a condom but I have topped 3 escorts without a condom and was mentally messed up for several weeks after I did. It was only after being tested at AIM Healthcare with the DNA HIV test that I regained my sanity. I am glad to hear that you have only had safer sex encounters. That is the way it should be and the way it will be for me from here on out.

[guptasa1]

>VaHawk-- Obviously the sensation of a great barebacking

>session can't be understated

 

You know, I've always wondered about this. I have barebacked before...my first few sexual experiences in fact with an exclusive boyfriend. (And that was really okay because we were exclusive and knew we were clean; I'd never bareback at this point unless I was once again in an exclusive relationship after a substantial time period and confirmation I was disease free).

 

Anyways, what I don't understand is when people say anal sex is so much better without a condom. Now, ORAL sex I understand - the taste and smell of latex isn't sexy, nor is not being able to feel a tongue. But as far as anal sex, are you guys using the right condoms? I highly recommend something like Inspiral or anything with some space in the front to make things more sensitive. In my experience, they feel much better. But then I've never really minded sex with any condom that much - doesn't feel all that much different to me personally.

[bostonman]

>Anyways, what I don't understand is when people say anal sex

>is so much better without a condom. Now, ORAL sex I

>understand - the taste and smell of latex isn't sexy, nor is

>not being able to feel a tongue. But as far as anal sex...

 

Yeah - I agree. Though for me, anal sex has just never been high on my list of fave activities...oral sex is something I'm just about always up for, but I only get the urge to try anal every now and then, and only a few of those times has it been truly enjoyable.

 

So, I may not be the best judge in terms of sensations with a condom vs. no condom. My first experiences with fucking were in my teens, just before the AIDS crisis began, and condoms were still just for heterosexual birth control (remember those days??). But I can't say I noticed much difference when guys started using condoms.

 

I also topped a few times when I was in my teens (and did have a few experiences with girls too) - now there I can see where feeling the difference is an issue... ;-)

 

And yeah - oral sex with a condom just doesn't do it for me...if taste weren't a factor I might not mind so much...but until they develop skin-flavored condoms, I'm not going there... ;-)

[guptasa1]

Even as a top, I dunno...it just never felt that much different for me. But again, this is mostly with condoms with a tip thats meant for improving sensation, etc. It does make a difference. Anyhow, sorry to get things off track if I did.

 

I'm not sure why escorts bareback. Just seems far too risky to me.

[Rick Munroe]

>I am just curious why

>escorts are willing to bareback without even being asked to do

>so. I recognize many escorts only engage in safer sex

>practices but I simply want to know why others think it is not

>necessary to do so.

 

I never bareback and never will, and I hate generalizations in general, so I'm glad you say that you didn't mean to imply that all escorts bareback. I think your subject title should read: "Why do some escorts feel the need to bareback?" and as far as an answer, I don't have one. Maybe it's the same reason that non-escorts bareback: They just like it better that way? They just don't care? Personally, I could never enjoy myself if I engaged in unsafe sex because I'd be worrying the whole time, and I prefer not to be worrying during sex. I'll leave that to Woody Allen. :+

[Bob]

This is probably the topic for a new thread. I am old, old, old and began having sex before the advent of AIDS. I was an exclusive top and spent most of my energies pursuing warm moist orifices to pleasure my cock and did so with wild and foolish abandon. Fortunately when the AIDS scourge struck I was a little more mature and realized the stupidity of jeopardizing my health and started using condoms. However, I was NEVER, not once, able to achieve an orgasm wearing a condom and pretty much abandoned anal sex. Luckily I have since discovered the joy of bottoming.

 

I've always wondered if this condom issue is a problem in my brain or my penis. Does anybody else have this same problem? I also wonder if I were still in my twenties and the need for sex still so urgent if I too wouldn't fall prey to barebacking. More men have committed suicide with their penis than with a gun.

[buckguy]

Why do these threads fail to identify the escort in question. It would be nice who's doing this and be able to make an infomed decision.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>And my question is: Why do you feel that this ONE encounter of

>YOURS, should be taken as a broad extrapolation on all

>escort/client interactions?

>

 

Bravo. My point but you beat me to it.

 

Bottom line: This group of escorts/clients is a microcosm of our 'gay society' so we should expect to find the same risky behavior here as we do in the large. It is ill considered because of 'the volume of sexual contacts in this microcosm but... come to think of it the larger 'society' is not known for its monogamy either. So... the small mirrors the large.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>VaHawk- I didn't mean to generalize and indicate that all

>escorts engage in this type of activity. However, my

>experience has been several escorts are willing to bareback

>even when I did not ask them to.

 

I have encountered more than a few myself but not close to a majority. Most were AOL contacts. I don't remember any of the 'guys with a shingle' that i have hired ever trying or asking... well there was one come to think of it. I expect the incidence is higher in this group too but that is just my experience.

 

It is surprising, even astonishing how many guys, escorts or not, are willing to do the russian roulette thing here. Either they are already poz, or just as likely feel they are immortal as the younger are wont to do. ('I can get away with it this time' attitude.) Probably many haven't seriously considered the down side to being poz. For the most part this seems to require first-hand research as second-hand info doesn't seem to be taken seriously by many.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Why do these threads fail to identify the escort in question.

>It would be nice who's doing this and be able to make an

>infomed decision.

 

Rather short sighted on you part IMO. Now you know one, only leading to a false sense of 'security' as in... "now that I crossed him off my list I know that I am safer" . What about the remaining thousands? Ignorance is bliss? Over and over again... assume everyone is poz except your Mom and Aunt Millie. It really is the best policy else you WILL fall into the trap of 'knowing that you are safer' when in reality YOU ARE NOT. FWIW

[FourAces]

Your subject line should read, Why does anybody feel the need to bareback?

 

With all of the studies, warnings, educational programs available it numbs the mind why this sexual activity is still happening in civilized countries.

 

RT

[BgMstr4u]

Bob wrote, "I was NEVER, not once, able to achieve an orgasm wearing a condom and pretty much abandoned anal sex."

 

I could not agree more. My experience exactly. I have almost entirely given up on anal sex for this reason. I have never enjoyed a moment of sheathed pleasure. I wish to god that HIV had never happened, and have lost far, far too many friends to contemplate barebacking except in the most exclusive relationship, and so I am basically out of the anal game. I just can't get it up and keep it up in a condom. And my head tells me "top, top, top" whenever I think about switching teams and trying out the bottom role.

 

Any tops out there who'd like to teach a prime 57 year old some new tricks?

[guptasa1]

I know I mentioned this and it's in no way an ad, but have you tried different kinds of condoms? Seriously, I think it's worth a try if you haven't. Inspiral and similar (there are others a bit different; I just can't remember the name) really do feel better than a normal condom to me at least. If you haven't tried it and love to top, definitely worth a try I'd think.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

Rick, don't you know frottage isn't as scary as some trolls seem to think it is? If some Americans could learn not to despise the French so very, very much, they might learn a thing or two.

 

And how do you KNOW Woody Allen worries during sex unless you are betraying a client confidence or...well, whatever, nevermind.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>Over and over again... assume everyone is poz except your Mom and >Aunt Millie.

 

Then, when Greg of Seattle, who is a bottom and rather unlikely to spread HIV to tops wearing condoms, CONFIRMS your assumption, freak out and hire anyone but him because your worst fears have been confirmed, and it's too SCARY to hire an honest escort, unless he's your Mom and Aunt Millie.

 

Of course, he'd probably be ever so grateful for the postcard you send from Helsinki telling him how much you..."respect" his integrity. Clients do so enjoy respecting escorts from as far away as they can manage to travel. It's probably "safest" to assume that Greg has always wanted to live in an RV.

 

America's premier "married" faggot with children (his fiance and his son) who lives on an island but writes sex advice columns instructing sluts on how to be GOOD sluts has no clue why Greg wants to be honest. He must troll this site a lot. Um...er...oh dear...thank goodness Dan Savage isn't a client and therefore doesn't require anyone's "discretion."

[Guest DevonSFescort]

Because frottage feels good, despite its frightening inability to support the vital manufacturing industries of condoms, enemas, hysteria, red ribbons, AIDS "prevention," funeral parlors, hypocrisy, and so on, and so on, and so on. In fact, the illicit thrill of NOT being a capitalist tool is kind of a...rush. And that's just a little TOO darn hot for some folks to handle. That's why they fixate on typos instead of substance, which they'd find a little too...abusive.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>And my question is: Why do you feel that this ONE encounter of

>YOURS, should be taken as a broad extrapolation on all

>escort/client interactions?

 

Mirror, mirror...

[+ glutes]

I haven't read all the responces to this post, but barebaking, in this day and age??

You are playing double Russian Roulette!

[marc anthony]

Devon: Gotta ask you why you wrote what you wrote. My take on this subthread...

 

first guy asks: why doesn't someone post the name of the escort so we can decide if we want to hire him.

 

second guy answers: what difference does it make, you should assume everyone is positive and behave accordingly.

 

you: goes off.

 

????

 

Did I miss something... that is not your usual style.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey guys!

I normally dont post very often here, but this time I really had the urge to do it.

Generally speaking, generalizations are a very safe wafe to incurr into a wrong representation of reality.

I felt really surprised when I read your post. I can only speak on my behalf and tell you about my own experiences.

I only engage in safe sex practices. I see it as my duty to make sure that the risk of transmitting any disease is minimized to the point in which it becomes negligible.

I always use condoms, I never exchange fluids, if I see a weird pimple, fluid, and anything that gets my attention, I simply dont go there, and (even if they say that it is safe, and even if I am vaccinated agaisnt hep) I dont rimm, simply because I could carry the virus in my system and give it to a client who is not vaccinated.

I rather loose all my business, than loosing my life and peace of mind. I value my life and my client's well being too much, to incurr in irresponsible choices. And since I work in duos very often with other escorts, I know as a fact that many escorts out there, demand and offer only safe sex.

I always read here in this message center that the safest way to go when it comes to escorts... (and in life in general) is to openly discuss your personal preferences, limits and expectations, so you wont feel shortchanged or surprised when things like this happen.

Let him know what you want...

Demand him to tell you if he can give it to you...

 

Happy -safe- hiring!

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The last time I fell, it hurt. So I try not to do.

 

However, if I have to fall, I make sure I wear knee pads to cushion the fall.