How much pre-booking talk is too much before you get frustrated?

[stop]

To the pros, I am curious, how much pre-booking talk/back and forth is too much before you get frustrated with the potential client?

 

I am they type of guy that wants a bit more than just a physical hookup. I like to feel that there is some sort of connection in addition to the physical connection. Part of that for me is knowing about the other guy a bit. Nothing too personal, I am not trying to find out where they grew up or if they are single, etc.

 

I am trying to get a feeling for what type of man they are and what they are into. I realize you guys are pros and many will say they are open, but for me I want to know that my partner is into the same thing I am looking for. In reflecting on my past sessions, the times that have been a bust were when I didn’t click with the pro. The times that were fantastic for me were when there was a connection of some sort for me.

 

Meeting with a pro is an occasion for me. I don’t usually book just a 1-hour session but I am definitely not looking for a boyfriend experience. Sometimes it may be a "pornstar" type thing or a good romp, but I am looking for passion in the meeting. Also I am not looking at the exact instance when I hit a guy up. If i am going to spend 500-600 + bucks I want to plan it in advance. I generally say tell the pro that I am looking for another time in my first message.

 

I have a few instances with guys that have abruptly ended or I received a terse response after a couple of back and forth exchanges. One told me after the 2nd email that if I wasn’t going to book then don’t waste his time. These guys obviously weren't a match for me. A couple of other times I could tell after a few exchanges that it was not going to work for me.

 

I recognize that pros are trying to run a business. I am guessing pros get hit up all the time and 90% of new inquiries probably never turn into anything. I do want to be respectful of their time. But like I said earlier I have had some pretty disappointing experiences that I think would have never happened had we chatted a bit (even via text or email).

 

I will add that this site has been great because I feel like I have gotten to know some of the pros by their posts and I have to say there are a few that I probably wouldn’t want to meet now because I just don’t think we would click. (I would guess there are a few that wouldn’t want to meet me because of my posts too)

 

There have also been pros that would have never been on my radar and now I want to meet them.

 

Juan Bruno for example is somebody that just by reading what he has posted I feel like I would click with him. Plus he is sexy as all hell. (Of course he is nowhere near my location or places that I travel to frequently so I am going to have to wait until he makes a trip down this way.)

 

Not all pros are on here though. The reviews on here are also helpful, but again that is really that guy’s experience I have met a guy that was highly reviewed that was probably the worst meeting I have ever had and another guy that just got meh reviews that was one of the nicest guys I have met and I had a great passionate experience with him.

 

Sorry for the long rambling but back to the question, or maybe a better way of asking is how do I go about approaching this with a pro so as not to make him feel like he is wasting his time but gets me to a point where I am interested in meeting?

[geminibear]

Great question jeepo1. Thanks for asking the question. Inquiring minds want to know.

 

I too am a bit of chatter.

[BabyBoomer]

 

I will add that this site has been great because I feel like I have gotten to know some of the pros by their posts and I have to say there are a few that I probably wouldn’t want to meet now because I just don’t think we would click. (I would guess there are a few that wouldn’t want to meet me because of my posts too)

 

 

How true.

 

~ Boomer ~

[Rudynate]

 

how do I go about approaching this with a pro so as not to make him feel like he is wasting his time but gets me to a point where I am interested in meeting?

 

The escort is supposed to get you to a point where you are interested in meeting? Do you mean he is supposed to persuade you to hire him? I could see that being a problem. I have short (note the operative word) telephone chats with escorts. I do like to get to know my hires, but I like it to happen organically, as we spend time together. If he makes a good impression on the telephone, that's good enough for me.

[Becket]

The guys that are patient with me before the meet are usually patient during the meet, which definitely is what I need.

Over and over I am reminded that the same kindness and considerations desired and given in everyday life most always works in this hobby as well. That said, I admit I've been "hustled" from time to time. Guess it happens to me because what I look for in an encounter is some sort of connection, some measure of trust. Yea, guys sometimes get tired of dealing with me and move on to those who are less trouble. (Come to think of it, I'm probably driving away my favorite friend/escort right now by exactly that sort of thing mentioned in the beginning of this thread.) Yes indeed, at 2 in the morning one tends to confess too much....sorry boys.....lol......

[RussJohnson]

Interestingly there are now three threads going simultaneously on this topic.

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/to-the-escorts-what-are-your-red-flags.108950/#post-1018285

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/how-much-detail-do-you-tell-an-escort-in-setting-up-an-appointment.108938/#post-1017972

 

When I answers these kinds of questions I don't claim to speak for everyone but what I can only assume the quality, well reviewed, business savvy guys are doing. Time is everything for us, people think they are paying for that hour or more that we are in front of them but that's just not true, they are paying for all the chatting and planning, the preparation, supplies, the travel if applicable. We do all of that in advance of being paid with the hope that when we arrive it wont all go wrong or you wont be a scammer or flake who runs off, or who doesn't answer the door, or return phone calls, or forgets their money. (I've said in the other threads, clients deal with scams/fakes too but the number of time wasters we deal with is exponentially more) All of that chatting you are expecting of us is essentially spec work, and more often than not there is no return, no "future work", and no booking. The worst is when someone asks all these questions only for it to turn out you're not even available, or in the same city. My advice is if you want me to think you're serious give me details first date, time, travel plans, location (doesn't have to be exact address or room number, but at least where you are or the hotel or something) then if I'm available choose the most important question or questions and ask them at one time (whether on the phone, or email, normally one big text is a little difficult) and then confirm. I can't see anyone having a problem with that. I assume by that point (since you are on here) you have done your research, read reviews, gotten advice on the forum. So it should be pretty simple. I know it's a big expense, but It's just like buying anything else, at a certain point you just have to get it and hope you made the right choice. "Getting to know you, is part of our job, when i have multihour appointments, I do spend some of those hours making connections and getting to know someone. My advice is that if it is that important maybe you need to start spending some of that money on getting to know the escort before booking the real appointment. Nothing is always going to be perfect and there is another human being on the end of this transaction so results will vary!

[down_to_business]

I don't know how much is too much for an escort, but as a client, I hired someone for the first time the other day and after about 15 minutes of him constantly texting me - I started to have reservations. After 30 minutes, I started to want to cancel! The texting continued until 2-3 days after the appointment ended!

[Mikegaite]

I prefer the questions all together in one email so that we aren't playing antiphony. I also appreciate it if there is some effort on your part to look at some of the information that is out there on me when you Google me. I'm from Louisiana, I'm not single, and between reviews, photos, videos, interviews, and threads about me, as well as the upcoming self-promotion threads I plan to start, you should be able to make some sort of assessment about whether or not we are a match. And forgive us escorts for being brusque, but we deal with crazy every day.

 

That being said, I have NEVER had anyone from daddy's be a time waster. Ever. OP, I'm sure you aren't one. So referencing your forum participation gives credibility in my book.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

To the pros, I am curious, how much pre-booking talk/back and forth is too much before you get frustrated with the potential client?

 

I am they type of guy that wants a bit more than just a physical hookup. I like to feel that there is some sort of connection in addition to the physical connection. Part of that for me is knowing about the other guy a bit. Nothing too personal, I am not trying to find out where they grew up or if they are single, etc.

 

I am trying to get a feeling for what type of man they are and what they are into. I realize you guys are pros and many will say they are open, but for me I want to know that my partner is into the same thing I am looking for. In reflecting on my past sessions, the times that have been a bust were when I didn’t click with the pro. The times that were fantastic for me were when there was a connection of some sort for me.

 

Meeting with a pro is an occasion for me. I don’t usually book just a 1-hour session but I am definitely not looking for a boyfriend experience. Sometimes it may be a "pornstar" type thing or a good romp, but I am looking for passion in the meeting. Also I am not looking at the exact instance when I hit a guy up. If i am going to spend 500-600 + bucks I want to plan it in advance. I generally say tell the pro that I am looking for another time in my first message.

 

I have a few instances with guys that have abruptly ended or I received a terse response after a couple of back and forth exchanges. One told me after the 2nd email that if I wasn’t going to book then don’t waste his time. These guys obviously weren't a match for me. A couple of other times I could tell after a few exchanges that it was not going to work for me.

 

I recognize that pros are trying to run a business. I am guessing pros get hit up all the time and 90% of new inquiries probably never turn into anything. I do want to be respectful of their time. But like I said earlier I have had some pretty disappointing experiences that I think would have never happened had we chatted a bit (even via text or email).

 

I will add that this site has been great because I feel like I have gotten to know some of the pros by their posts and I have to say there are a few that I probably wouldn’t want to meet now because I just don’t think we would click. (I would guess there are a few that wouldn’t want to meet me because of my posts too)

 

There have also been pros that would have never been on my radar and now I want to meet them.

 

Juan Bruno for example is somebody that just by reading what he has posted I feel like I would click with him. Plus he is sexy as all hell. (Of course he is nowhere near my location or places that I travel to frequently so I am going to have to wait until he makes a trip down this way.)

 

Not all pros are on here though. The reviews on here are also helpful, but again that is really that guy’s experience I have met a guy that was highly reviewed that was probably the worst meeting I have ever had and another guy that just got meh reviews that was one of the nicest guys I have met and I had a great passionate experience with him.

 

Sorry for the long rambling but back to the question, or maybe a better way of asking is how do I go about approaching this with a pro so as not to make him feel like he is wasting his time but gets me to a point where I am interested in meeting?

 

Client email #1: Hi, + who I am, what I am looking for, when and where I am looking for it, available and rate?

Escort email #1: Hi, thanks for writing + answers/clarifications to questions/statements above, coordination of date/time/place/rate.

 

Client email #2: Sounds good. I'll confirm the day of by time requested, will give/get directions, let you know of issues or other questions.

Escort email #2: Thanks. See you then.

 

You should be contacting people you're already interested in meeting—not conducting auditions. A phone call goes a long way in letting you know more about someone than an email will, but if you're not looking for something more of the "BFE" route, then you are going to run that risk that guys will think you're calling to hear dirty talk instead of trying to get to know someone better. Given what you say above, I would use reviews on Daddy's, email people first and then ask if they can do a quick chat to clarify what you're expecting. The reviews will give you an idea of what might occur and how well it went, the emails are for factual info for setting up an appointment and the phone call will give you more personal insight.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Jeepo,

 

Mike and Chris already gave you great answers. I agree with them. Two to three concise back and forths, where you answer every one of the relevant questions in precise terms. "Where you are, how long a session you have in mind, when, preferences, limitations, expectations, and acknowledge you understood your escort's rates and conditions." After that, a five minute phone conversation is of paramount importance to get a real feel of how he interacts. After that, there is no more "getting to know one another" that is possible. You can write back and forth emails till the cows come home and still it won't be a millionth of the insight you will gain about him when you meet.

 

Do your homework, be prepared. Contact and answer precisely and briefly. Talk on the phone for a few minutes, and trust your gut to meet him or not.

 

Getting to know one another only happens when you are both looking at each other in real time.

 

I can tell by reading your email that you share one of my traits; you seem to be a bit of a rambler. I know, who am I to talk? =) When you are together, relax and ramble as much as you want, but when arranging a meeting be concise and brief. Sometimes when we communicate way more than it's actually relevant, we hinder our partner's ability to remember what matters. Be specific. Share the important. Stop right after that.

 

Also, I would refrain from sending daily email updates before your session. "I booked the hotel!" "I bought a suitcase!" "I googled NY, we are going to have so much fun!" "I got gastroenteritis!" "I have something to say!" "Did you read Catlin Jenner's interview!". Sadly, all escorts are aware of a mathematical formula: chances of completing a session are inversely proportional to the amount of preparatory communication.

 

Yes. The more people communicate, the higher the chances they will disappear, will have a "terrible and unexpected reverse of fortune two days before the session" and simply won't show up.

 

Don't make us doubt you. Less is definitely more!

 

I don't know how much is too much for an escort, but as a client, I hired someone for the first time the other day and after about 15 minutes of him constantly texting me - I started to have reservations. After 30 minutes, I started to want to cancel! The texting continued until 2-3 days after the appointment ended!

 

Oh, brother!

 

Just that.

[Juan Vancouver]

And in the spirit of rambling a bit more...

 

If we don't want you to send us a seven page email or daily updates it's not because we don't want to hear from you, it's because we want to give you our undivided attention. The best escorts that I know are not very good at multitasking. Sure, they can suck a cock and jerk another and get fucked by a third one, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships, we tend to be able to focus our attention entirely, fully, consciously in one person.

 

We enjoy this kind of intense, personal focus.

 

When we receive a hundred little notes from people we might not even actually ever get to meet, we are unable to honour and focus on all those people as fully as we would love to. I feel really shitty when I am unable to actually respond to the "That Kim Kardashian! Ha Ha!" kind of message. I feel sad, but I would simply would not have time at all to do so.

 

Be concise, show up and then when you have our undivided attention tell us anything. We will be thrilled.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

When I hire, it is to fulfill a fantasy or a need.

 

As a partnered bear in his mid 50's I do NOT hire to lose a load, or to have sex, I can fulfill that need quite easily, either at home with my partner, home alone or out at a SOP venue like a bathhouse.

 

What I do look for when I hire is something I do not normally get, like a spanking, or bondage, or muscle worship etc.

 

So I am looking for something specific.

 

I find it difficult to schedule an appointment due to my schedule and the need to be totally discrete, so there are very few windows of opportunities, so when that window is open IT HAS TO BE A GOOD EXPERIENCE.

 

I have paid up to $1200 for a 2 hour session ( yes he was awesome, yes I would go there again, and no he was not a clock watcher).

 

So to fulfill those requirements, it does take a little bit of communication to set the appointment up.

 

First I need to make sure he is going to work for me, etc.

 

What I normally do is send an email, saying what I want, and the list of interests, not all of which need to be met in the one session.

 

It depends on the response I get back, if I go ahead.

 

I am happy to confirm with a text or a phone call, I like to get a close to but not necessarily the exact address in advance, gaytown where many escorts work from - is close to one of my places of work, so I need to know that - its all about discretion. Some locations might not work for me.

 

While I totally respect a working gentlemans need to balance the pre appointment chat with the actual payment, I'm a business man I understand Return on Investment or even hourly rate, I guess if you are good with the pre appointment stuff you will get the appointment.

 

Equally someone who asks for my pic on the first contact - just gets blocked.

 

Fair enough on the day of the appointment ask for a pic.

 

Now to tie in with another thread - I am overweight 300lbs and have been rejected at the door, so I am careful to mention that.

 

The gentleman who manage all of the above - are normally fantastic at the appointment, and they then get the repeat business.

 

So if your business is not going too good, these might be the areas that you could improve your conversion rate with.

 

Happy hunting guys

[LADoug1]

I once hired one of the most popular escorts. After confirming appointment I sent a detailed email of what I was looking for. It was nothing crazy. Very tame. He didn't respond. Red flag. He canceled 1 hour before the appointment saying he was ill. I don't think I should have sent the email before settling the date. I'll always wonder if the email caused the cancellation.

[MikeyGMin]

I'll always wonder if the email caused the cancellation.

 

It's not impossible. I try to limit my requirements to the few that are really important to me or deal breakers, and I put them out there right away. I figure everything else can be worked out during the session. That's just me. I have an aversion to high maintenance people, so I may go overboard to make sure I don't come off as one.

[Kevin Slater]

As Juan said, the likelihood of the meeting happening in inversely proportional to the amount of contact beforehand.

 

If you are serious about wanting to meet someone but want a sense of sense of him beforehand, why not send a nominal tribute first to show your bona fides? I suspect you'd find the otherwise terse businessman more willing to engage in a few emails after a $25 Amazon e-giftcard or the like.

 

Kevin Slater

[Rudynate]

why not send a nominal tribute first to show your bona fides?

 

Interesting choice of words. Do you have clients that are into tribute bondage?

[RussJohnson]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Eu7eyLu_kVg/VdBmD4sxwOI/AAAAAAAATOY/l_5w6MqzHrY/s1600/volunteer-as-tribute.gif