Losing my virginity

[+ WmClarke]

Tonight, I go to a gay bar for the first time in my life. Yowsa!

 

I had lots of friends who went to them when I was growing up; it just never worked out for me to tag along. I have a lot of friends who go to them now that I'm old. Again, it just never seems to work out for me to tag along

 

It's a dinner, show, and costume contest. My costume will be "closeted 'straight' man at a gay bar for the first time." I think I may win 1st place in the costume contest!

[curiousnomore]

Good luck Wm. I hope you have a great time.

[+ Truereview]

In my eyes you already won first place for: it's never too late for anything...including a wonderful gay time!

We'd love to hear your report back. I hope it is a terrific one!

[+ WmClarke]

Good luck Wm. I hope you have a great time.

Thanks! I think I will.

[+ WmClarke]

In my eyes you already won first place for: it's never too late for anything...including a wonderful gay time!

We'd love to hear your report back. I hope it is a terrific!

Thanks! I will definitely report back--eventually!

[+ glennnn]

I went once in my distant youth before I married and embraced the straight life. I was the very definition of "a blind dog in a meat house". I didn't speak to anyone, didn't dance, didn't make eye contact I looked at all of the men so longingly, but looked away if they looked at me. I was terrified I would be noticed, and mortified that I wouldn't. I left when a guy offered to buy me a drink! Fuck! Regret is such a sad and useless emotion. Wm. Clarke, I don't know how old you are tonight, but I do know you will be older tomorrow. Make tonight count and have a memorable time. I wish I were going, too.

[bostonman]

When I was coming out, in my late teens, in the early 80's, it seemed that going to gay bars was still very much something that gay men did, IMO, as part of the lifestyle. I started attending a gay youth group in the city, and often we'd wind up going to one of the bars afterward (drinking age was 18, and many of us weren't quite 18 yet, so I have no idea how we got in, lol. Maybe it was just a more lenient time.)

 

I was never a good dancer, nor much of a socialite lol, though with my youth group buddies there I was never alone. But it always felt to me like something I was doing because I was gay, rather than something I was doing because I enjoyed dance clubs, know what I mean?

 

There was a small club I sometimes went with my theatre friends after a rehearsal or show, which felt more like a bar and less of a club, and that was ok. Going out for a drink was fine, but the dance/pickup scene just wasn't really me.

 

Moving to Boston for college, I would wind up going to some of the bars because, again, that's what we did, lol. (For anyone who was in Boston in the 80's, these were the days of Buddies and the 1270, among others...now just a faded memory.) But more and more I realized it just wasn't my scene. By the time I had graduated college, I don't think I really had any desire to go to a gay club. And aside from a few times here and there when it's been with a bunch of friends, I really haven't gone.

 

But, even though I do think gay men still feel like a gay bar is somewhere "special" to go, it seems to me that unless you're really the clubbing type, it's not as de facto as an activity as it used to be. We don't really have to be so exclusive (or secretive) anymore.

 

But, of course, were it not for the Stonewall Inn, we might still all be in the closet, needing those gay bars to have a place to go where we're accepted. So, gay bars are a very important part of our history.

[geminibear]

Tonight, I go to a gay bar for the first time in my life. Yowsa!

 

I had lots of friends who went to them when I was growing up; it just never worked out for me to tag along. I have a lot of friends who go to them now that I'm old. Again, it just never seems to work out for me to tag along

 

It's a dinner, show, and costume contest. My costume will be "closeted 'straight' man at a gay bar for the first time." I think I may win 1st place in the costume contest!

Good luck brother. Not to be negative but I hate gay bars. Haven't been in a gay bar in over 10 years I think. Odds are, I probably won't ever darken the doorway of one again. But that's me. They are never as fun as the movies & television make them out to be.

 

Let the bashing begin.

[bostonman]

Good luck brother. Not to be negative but I hate gay bars. Haven't been in a gay bar in over 10 years I think. Odds are, I probably won't ever darken the doorway of one again. But that's me. They are never as fun as the movies & television make them out to be.

 

Let the bashing begin.

 

But that's exactly my point. I think a few decades ago, most people would have thought your comments to be heresy lol. But I just don't think gay bars are the same assumed part of the gay experience anymore - unless of course you're going because you enjoy that particular atmosphere. I'm sure there are people out here who still feel that going to gay bars is still a vital part of their gay identity - but I think it's much less so than it used to be.

[Brian Kevin]

It's Halloween eve!

I am going to grace the clubs with my presence

 

ALSO, gay bars/clubs are what you make of them. I have fun EVERYWHERE i go, airports, restaurants, clubs, bathrooms, walking, laundry...

An experience is what you make of it. I don't need someone else to have a good time, I will find someone who wants to laugh somewhere along every one of my journeys.

 

I hope you all have a wonderful night and Halloween

[+ WmClarke]

I went once in my distant youth before I married and embraced the straight life. I was the very definition of "a blind dog in a meat house". I didn't speak to anyone, didn't dance, didn't make eye contact I looked at all of the men so longingly, but looked away if they looked at me. I was terrified I would be noticed, and mortified that I wouldn't. I left when a guy offered to buy me a drink! Fuck! Regret is such a sad and useless emotion. Wm. Clarke, I don't know how old you are tonight, but I do know you will be older tomorrow. Make tonight count and have a memorable time. I wish I were going, too.

I will definitely enjoy this time. My days of regrets are over.

[+ WmClarke]

Good luck brother. Not to be negative but I hate gay bars. Haven't been in a gay bar in over 10 years I think. Odds are, I probably won't ever darken the doorway of one again. But that's me. They are never as fun as the movies & television make them out to be.

 

Let the bashing begin.

I am actually at a private event, so whether or not I mingle in the actual bar is just optional.

 

And no bashing! This thread is all about fun times, whatever you dis/like.

[+ WmClarke]

It's Halloween eve!

I am going to grace the clubs with my presence

 

ALSO, gay bars/clubs are what you make of them. I have fun EVERYWHERE i go, airports, restaurants, clubs, bathrooms, walking, laundry...

An experience is what you make of it. I don't need someone else to have a good time, I will find someone who wants to laugh somewhere along every one of my journeys.

 

I hope you all have a wonderful night and Halloween

Preach on, Brother Brian!

[oceansunshine]

I will definitely enjoy this time. My days of regrets are over.

So true. And to bring home the point, I have always liked Frank's quote "Regrets, I've had a few; but then again, too few to mention".

 

As I've grown older I find those words good to live by......

 

 

Doug

[Brian Kevin]

I already regret going out.

 

Gay clubbing 101 NEVER trust drag queens (even if they're your best friends.)

[+ WmClarke]

I already regret going out.

 

Gay clubbing 101 NEVER trust drag queens (even if they're your best friends.)

Sorry to hear that.

[Rudynate]

But that's exactly my point. I think a few decades ago, most people would have thought your comments to be heresy lol. But I just don't think gay bars are the same assumed part of the gay experience anymore - unless of course you're going because you enjoy that particular atmosphere. I'm sure there are people out here who still feel that going to gay bars is still a vital part of their gay identity - but I think it's much less so than it used to be.

 

 

We have other options now. Actually we have always had other options, but for many decades, gay bars were the default. I used to really enjoy bars, now I don't. A few months ago, I went in one for meet-and-greet with a possible hookup. Haven't been back since, although the hookup panned out.

[AdamSmith]

A few months ago, I went in one for meet-and-greet with a possible hookup. Haven't been back since, although the hookup panned out.

 

And THAT is the reason to go out to gay bars.

[+ Truereview]

Not sure what kind of gay bars folks are frequenting. Gay bars I go to have a variety of folks from the entire LGBT spectrum and heterosexual folks too. I don't go there to hook up or get drunk ...although it can happen and I've partaken ...but I mainly go to a gay or straight bar to have fun, socialize, put myself in situations that can be outside my comfort zone, but most importantly, I go to movies, theaters, restaurants...and bars - all places of entertainment - to enjoy the human interactions...expected or not. I get a sense some folks are looking at bars with some disdain here. I would invite you to seek (introspectively, not in a public forum) why is it that a gay bar elicits such reactions within you?

 

Back to the OP.... WMCLARKE...did you have fun or learn/experience something new?

[Brian Kevin]

Yes I'm curious if you placed in the costume contest, or if you took it all off for everyone

[+ Truereview]

Yes I'm curious if you placed in the costume contest, or if you took it all off for everyone

I'm particularly interested in details of the latter!

[+ WmClarke]

Back to the OP.... WMCLARKE...did you have fun or learn/experience something new?

 

Yes and yes.

[+ WmClarke]

Yes I'm curious if you placed in the costume contest, or if you took it all off for everyone

 

I had a costume disaster.

 

I forgot my mask at home. Then, after I parked and started walking to the bar, the zipper on my (very inexpensive) costume broke. That sort of bummed me out.

 

I didn't take it all off----just part of it when someone pointed out that my shirt was on inside out. I took off the outer layer and the short to fix that. Unfortunately, I was wearing a t-shirt--otherwise, I'm sure my naked chest would have made me the belle of the ball.

 

So, since I was up since 5 am, I did not stay for the contest (midnight)--just too tired.

[Brian Kevin]

I had a costume disaster.

 

I forgot my mask at home. Then, after I parked and started walking to the bar, the zipper on my (very inexpensive) costume broke. That sort of bummed me out.

 

I didn't take it all off----just part of it when someone pointed out that my shirt was on inside out. I took off the outer layer and the short to fix that. Unfortunately, I was wearing a t-shirt--otherwise, I'm sure my naked chest would have made me the belle of the ball.

 

So, since I was up since 5 am, I did not stay for the contest (midnight)--just too tired.

 

I'm assuming there was no twerking then

[+ WmClarke]

I'm particularly interested in details of the latter!

 

And since my friend was also dead tired and left around 11:30, I chickened out and went home without stepping inside the bar itself. A little disappointed in myself--regretted it almost immediately-- it I think next time I'll have enough courage to step inside....