Too Much Info on Escort Makes Me Hesitate to Hire Again

[jgoo]

Had a fantastic meeting with a guy a month or so ago...I mean it was one of the best I have had in years. Couldn't wait until I could arrange a longer session or even a weekend away when my schedule allowed.

 

So during the process of everything I found out details about his real name. And as a curious person I googled his name. Found out that within the last year he has had several arrests. Two were misdemeanors...traffic violation and something else fairly minor. Two were a bit more serious....domestic assault and assault on an officer. I have no idea the circumstances but of course now I am really doubting going forward with something, which is a shame because I had a really good time and made a nice connection with the guy.

 

If I hadn't found this out I would have gone ahead and who know but I think it would have turned out very nice. My little head says go for it. My big head says stay away.

 

Not sure bringing it up to him is worth it. So what would you do? Btw, I would not be that worried about the outcome of any altercation if it came to that...I may be a bit older but I feel confident I could handle any situation.

[gallahadesquire]

A random post from following another thread:

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_J._Boham

 

Caveat Emptor.

[maninsoma]

I surely would not hire someone with an arrest record for violent crimes -- regardless of whether the arrests led to trials that resulted in convictions. Too many other guys from which to choose.

[BaronArtz]

Better to know too much than too little. You just never know. I am sure this guy wished he knew ...

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/prostitutes-guilty-murder-chelsea-client-jury-finds-article-1.2407273

[+ WmClarke]

For me, it depends on when the events occurred. Within the last year?--too close for comfort.

 

I've had a session with an escort who has a record, but his experience was a while ago so I wasn't worried. I hope to have more sessions with him.

[caliguy]

Obviously, you did more then just a simple google search. I guess you'd pass me up too since I've had a few traffic violations and I've been arrested twice for assault. Me and my friend got in a fight by throwing things at each other and I took a bucket of paint and did the ol pie in the face with it. That arrest was almost worth it seeing his reaction. The other time I was throwing a deadbeat non paying meth head roommate out of my place by his neck. Well, so what. Shit happens.

[+ Truereview]

Trust your instincts...and remember, your instincts are processed by your insula, which is nowhere near your "little head" -as you put it.

[jawjateck]

In making these decisions, I prefer facts over opinions, reviews, etc

[AdamSmith]

In making these decisions, I prefer facts over opinions, reviews, etc

 

i·con·o·clast

īˈkänəˌklast/

noun

noun: iconoclast; plural noun: iconoclasts

1. 1.
   a person who attacks cherished beliefs or institutions.
   synonyms: critic, skeptic; More
   heretic, unbeliever,dissident, dissenter, infidel;
   rebel, renegade, mutineer
   "in terms of the money culture in Washington, she is an iconoclast"
    
   
   

[+ azdr0710]

definitely don't mention it to him (you are absolutely sure he's the same guy as has the rap sheet?)....

 

willing to bet many of us have had meets with dudes who have long, tough arrest records....and we never knew it......

 

and I do know several well-revered, much-loved escorts who post here have records with arrests for far more than parking violations

 

on occasion, I've left info on a piece of paper in the middle of my living room floor, so when my friends break down my door to see why I haven't been answering their calls, they will know who killed me

[Frequentflier]

I'd stay away from anyone with a conviction for a violent offense, otherwise I'm not likely to hold it against someone and I certainly wouldn't raise what I found out with them. Regardless, take common sense precautions because everyone who has a record used to have none so just because there are no convictions doesn't mean the person is good/safe/etc.. All the mass shooters in the past many years had no records until they went postal. Meet strangers in public before going someplace private, make a calendar notation in your locked phone (i.e., gmail, yahoo, etc. have your calendar on their servers), don't let a first timer tie you up, maybe let a friend know what you're up to and ask him/her to call you every few hours etc., etc. And above all, if the other person makes you feel uncomfortable/unsafe, don't continue with the meet.

[whipped guy]

Well, as noted above, this thread is concurrent! So I guess one never knows does one! It's simply one of the many risks...

 

http://m4m-forum.org/threads/escort-murderers-convicted-here-today-so-who-can-you-trust.108502/

[Tonyko]

REALITY??? IF I HIRED A DOG WALKER AND A GOOGLING REVEALED WHAT YOU DISCOVERED, I'D LET HIM GO. The very word "hustle" can mean to "con". How many times have the friends and co-workers of killers said he was SUCH a nice sweet guy I can't believe it etc??? Some scorts can be TRUE chameleons. When I see traffic violations driving with suspended license DUI's or minor drug possessions etc I know the guy's got some problems etc but I don't jump to - he can do me harm. When I see ROBBERY or ASSAULTS of any kind or Dom VIOLENCE etc??? I move on. Your instincts were right, think with the big head PLS.

[caliguy]

I guess no one here has ever gotten into a fight with a GF or BF that got out of hand. Cops trump up charges all the time for stiffer penalties so there's that. You as much as touch a cop and you could land yourself with an assault charge. This was probably all in the same arrest.

[Cliff]

I, for one, object to the act of googling the real name of the escort. Why would you do that? I think that's a clear violation of privacy. And if you learned of his arrests, you probably learned other details of his life that may not be scandalous but they are nevertheless PRIVATE and not meant for you to know.

[+ Truereview]

I'm sorry, I'm going to butt in again and probably get some nasty reactions, and I will ignore them. So here I go...

 

Like any other service, we have the right to continue to research the service provider during and even after service is rendered. Just bc we had a good dinner at a restaurant, I won't stop looking at its reviews on an on-going basis or looking deeper into the restaurant's background or key staff. Frankly, if I got the name of the restaurant owner or the chef, I would look them up because I liked the food and service. If I found out the owner was a bigot or the chef had food-poisoned customers in the past, even if unintentionally, I would pause and analyze whether I want a second meal there.

 

Now, here is a forum member, JGOO, asking us to help him decide, and we are now trying to help him by saying that sometimes people get bad breaks or that he violated privacy rights? This line of thought can lead him to make a stupid decision (he is already teetering on telling the guy about the record!) and that can put him in danger! Folks, get off your own soap boxes about criminal record accuracy, privacy rights, personal redemption, etc...we are talking about possible danger to a fellow forum member here! Think about his safety, not your own personal triggers.

 

JGOO, if I didn't make myself clear before...don't talk to this guy again, count yourself lucky and STAY AWAY from him!

 

With your personal safety in mind, -TR

[jawjateck]

I'm gonna keep on googling for purely selfish reasons: (1) my personal safety and (2) my stock portfolio.....this googling stuff helps my GOOGL.

[krafka]

There are two separate issues:

1. Should OP bring it up with him.

2. Should OP hire again.

 

On the surface, item #2 is contingent on #1 - you hire again based on the response from raising the issue.

 

However, I'd argue that they're not. There is no guarantee that the escort will tell you the truth. In the end, there are only four possible outcomes:

a) Red Flag / don't hire again

b) Red Flag / hire again

c) No Red / don't hire

d) No Red / hire

 

Logically, only the D outcome makes sense based on OP's underlying question (which is whether the new information calls the question of personal safety). But, D actually has two options:

No Red - Telling the truth

No Red/lying.

 

From a risk perspective the vast majority of possible outcomes has warnings for personal safety.

 

The fact that many escorts might have unknown red flags/criminal backgrounds merely says that clients are accepting a substantially higher level of personal risk than they know about, not that it's any safer or less risky. Of course, risk doesn't mean that something bad will definitely happen. But, as a practical matter, you have to use the tools and information available.

[wayout]

 

From a risk perspective the vast majority of possible outcomes has warnings for personal safety.

 

The fact that many escorts might have unknown red flags/criminal backgrounds merely says that clients are accepting a substantially higher level of personal risk than they know about, not that it's any safer or less risky. Of course, risk doesn't mean that something bad will definitely happen. But, as a practical matter, you have to use the tools and information available.

 

I think that this is key...all comes down to risk tolerance that any one of us is willing to accept. At one extreme, those that are so risk adverse should probably never hire at all. On the other end are those that will hire anyone, anywhere and anytime without any info at all about who they are hiring. In between are those willing to accept moderate risk and will hire well reviewed escorts. But there are also those that accept a higher reasonable risk and hire un-reviewed guy. Thank goodness for those guys otherwise we wouldn't have additional information from reviews....remember all well and multiple time reviewed escorts were once un-reviewed and some person had to take the risk of hiring without a review.

 

The issue of what level of risk to take, mitigated as much as possible with other due diligence, is different for each person and we all have a level of comfort for that so there is no clear cut answer, in my mind, to the OPs question. Depending on the level of risk tolerance, I could argue that having that additional information may be very useful should he decide to hire as he can have a heightened awareness of the situation and the escorts behavior as well as having a backup plan should things start going south for any reason. This may be useful to mitigate his overall risk somewhat.

 

The safest route, and one with no reward, is to not hire again. The riskier route with some possible negative consequences but also some possible rewards is to hire again. We can only answer the question of hire or not hire for ourselves based on our own makeup, risk tolerance, knowledge of ourselves, the escort and the situation we are considering.

[+ Truereview]

Ok, couldn't resist to point out the OP's primary question was "so what would YOU do" not "dissect the logic of my circumstances."

 

My risk tolerance/makeup says: RUN. Since I don't want any harm to come to any forum member, I can't help myself but stick my nose in his business and tell him to run too. There is indeed a reward in the safest route: safety itself.

 

By the way, this "hobby" is riddled with risk. Totally agree with that. The mere fact of having a profile on this site is a risk. As risk operators, we should mitigate risk for ourselves and look out for each other. To me, this forum is not about who has the most logical, funniest or smartest response. That's all gravy. To me, this forum is primarily about community and caring....at least that's what I hope it can be.

[+ Keith30309]

I, for one, object to the act of googling the real name of the escort. Why would you do that? I think that's a clear violation of privacy. And if you learned of his arrests, you probably learned other details of his life that may not be scandalous but they are nevertheless PRIVATE and not meant for you to know.

 

Sorry, but I pursue every single reasonable avenue of due-diligence to learn everything I can about someone I don't know, particularly if there is no reliable info via this forum or reviews. I'm completely unapologetic about this - having a 'meh' experience is the least of my concerns if I'm going to disappear into someone's house or they come to my hotel room. If a guy is a 10-year veteran with lots of recognition by forum members then all is well.

But if I want to meet an Hourboy no one has ever heard of then it would be reckless to not do some information-gathering in advance. I don't care if someone has cute-kitten memes blown across a Tumblr page; I do care if their photo pops up as a convicted felon.

[Frequentflier]

Sorry, but I pursue every single reasonable avenue of due-diligence to learn everything I can about someone I don't know, particularly if there is no reliable info via this forum or reviews. I'm completely unapologetic about this - having a 'meh' experience is the least of my concerns if I'm going to disappear into someone's house or they come to my hotel room. If a guy is a 10-year veteran with lots of recognition by forum members then all is well.

But if I want to meet an Hourboy no one has ever heard of then it would be reckless to not do some information-gathering in advance. I don't care if someone has cute-kitten memes blown across a Tumblr page; I do care if their photo pops up as a convicted felon.

 

And escorts should keep in mind that every client contacting them in the US is a criminal breaking the law, whether it's been recorded yet or not. Some people apparently don't have mirrors in their homes.

[maninsoma]

I guess no one here has ever gotten into a fight with a GF or BF that got out of hand. Cops trump up charges all the time for stiffer penalties so there's that. You as much as touch a cop and you could land yourself with an assault charge. This was probably all in the same arrest.

 

I'm sure that some people here have "gotten into a fight with a GF or BF that got out of hand," but many of us haven't. You might try to minimize that behavior and belief it's "normal," but my perspective is that while many people are raised in families where violence is present and end up having adult relationships that include physical violence, it is NOT acceptable behavior.

[maninsoma]

I, for one, object to the act of googling the real name of the escort. Why would you do that? I think that's a clear violation of privacy. And if you learned of his arrests, you probably learned other details of his life that may not be scandalous but they are nevertheless PRIVATE and not meant for you to know.

 

I disagree. I think it would be a violation of the escort's privacy to share his real name with others, but if an escort is sloppy enough with his privacy that he uses photos in escort ads that can be easily traced back to his real identity then I don't think it's wrong for a client/prospective client to look at whatever information is readily available in order to make a hiring decision. By the same token, I think it's reasonable for escorts to use whatever information they have from a prospective client (which, in most instances, will likely just be a phone number) to determine whether they want to accept a booking.

[maninsoma]

And escorts should keep in mind that every client contacting them in the US is a criminal breaking the law, whether it's been recorded yet or not. Some people apparently don't have mirrors in their homes.

 

Yes, both parties are "criminals." There's quite a difference between this "criminal" activity and assault, though.