Question for the clients (or anyone who works)

[Mocha]

Can you see yourself involved or good friends with someone who does the same line of work you do? Now, I don't mean weekday lunches with co-workers, but I guess the question should be rather open ended. I'm referring more to getting serious or being regular friends with another lawyer, Doctor, contractor, teacher, or whatever profession you do outside of business hours.

 

I ask because after 6 years, I'm starting to realize that I dont find i sync well with other guys in the industry on a face to face, dating/friend level. It's not to be judgemental or bitchy, it's just I find guys who are not involved in the business, or even may have been formerly involved in the adult industry...seem to have broader horizons than some guys I've come across in the business. When they are off of work and with me, they're not on their phone the whole time with the possibility of getting called back into work.

 

I can't stop thinkin about a guy I dated who was an erotic masseur. I think he really scarred me, because I think about the things he would suggest to me, and how he often just revolved himself around the business 24/7. He was always on his apps, even suggesting me to "work my ads", meaning to contact clients who looked at me on adam4adam and solicit business, just because he did that. I did it briefly, but I knew better it wouldn't work. Every deep conversation was about the business, because that's all he had to talk about. I appreciated it, and sometimes instigated it...but talking about it with him bought absolutely no benefit except collecting information.

 

I also didn't like the feeling that he could (and would) at any time, take a call during the couple nights a week I'd see him. At this point in my career, I've learned to turn down appointments, or even better....work them into a time that fits mutually, and to also calculate my expected free time so I can hang with friends, family, or other commitments.

 

One of the other things is, I guess in a business like this...someone always has to be the teacher. Or the leader. Or the coach. Or they just want to talk about it. But, I actually feel better when I can go out with someone and not talk about the business at all. Like it never exists. Because it's like a trap, Once someone in the business starts talking about escorting... it goes on and on about how they do things, and how much money they make, and how good the market is for them, etc. I'm tired of all that. I rather just do my appoitments discreetly, and go on about my life. I'm not saying I don't want to have any escort friends (guys like JD Daniels, Mikey, Mike Vincenzo have all been great confidants), but the average guy in town with an ad up, seeing that I'm also an escort...nah.

 

I recently traveled for the last 4 weeks, and felt so free. I went the entire trip not discussing escorting with anyone...and for the first time in months, I felt a sense of peace. I wasn't trying to make numbers, I just took the calls, and kept myself busy with other things to the point I wasnt counting numbers.

[+ purplekow]

I think many professional people have gone through schooling with others in that profession and friendships naturally developed which start out on a professional level and then become more personal as more time is spent together. Most of my friends are not physicians, but they are a significant minority. I have professional dealings with physicians all the time. I attend conferences physicians attend and have many interests in common with other physicians. I do not believe escorts have the same degree of interactions and as a result I would not expect escorts to be friends with other escorts to the same degree as is true for professionals who go through schooling together.

As for liking other members of the same profession, I like some and dislike others. I particular am attracted to other physicians who are well rounded individuals who have lots of other interests. If conversations turn to professional matters, it is only a part of an evenings interaction.

[bigvalboy]

The short answer is yes. Most of my friends were from the industry that I worked in, but I don't think it's a matter of one size fits all. I have many interests, but not every friend will share all of the same interests as I do. When I was in business, and socializing with colleagues, the conversations were always about business, because we were all passionate about what we did. I wouldn't necessarily expect a business partner, or any specific friend for that matter, to have the same passion as I do, in all the other areas of my life. Each friend I have is unique, and rarely does any one friend share all my interests, and of course the reverse is true also. One friend as an example has a passion for cars and sports. Cars I'm good with, sports, not so much...though I do know who Tom Brady and Tim Tebow are, only because they're cute.

[mike carey]

Who is Tom Brady. Or Tim Tebow for that matter?

[RockyHardon]

I think most successful professionals spend alot of time with their professional colleagues. It is kinda par for the course...lawyers, accountants, doctors, educators who are successful surround themselves with other people in their field, develop an expertise, and build their professional reputation among their peers.

 

I would expect escorts to do the same, and even more so, since it is a profession that you can't really share with everyone, and many work secretly. I'm certain many working boys are grateful, excited, and happy they can be open about their business with another escort, and therefore share information and experiences. Clients when they discover another client actually do the same, ergo "DaddyReviews.com".

 

Also, my observation over the years is that more than any other profession, escorting is very mentally time consuming. It is NOT just throwing up an ad in a magazine, website, dating app, and/or escort directory, waiting for the phone to ring, and getting rich. Not even close...escorting is REALLY HARD WORK, and quite tedious in the day to day details. However, I'm certain it has its financial and emotional rewards, and for those who enjoy sex, it is definitely an enjoyable line of work. So, I'm not surprised when you are with your escort buddies, they are constantly looking at their apps, texting, and well...working...because they believe you understand, and they don't have to hide it from you.

 

I was at a group session recently with about 4 escorts servicing one client (the client apparently liked group sessions)...it was so funny, they were all on their apps looking for the next client, while sitting in the room chit chatting as the client was being taken care of by escort #4.

[bigvalboy]

Who is Tom Brady. Or Tim Tebow for that matter?

 

Now with this one, I'll talk about anything his little heart desires.

 

 

:D:D:D:D...Tom who?

[seaboy4hire]

I rarely socialize with other working guys. Its not that I feel I am better than them but if I'm not being hired or the forum I prefer to not talk about it. For me it's about trying to keep that balance of work and my private life. I do the same with my day job. I rarely hang out with coworkers unless I have to and I keep my personal life and day job as seperate as I can.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[JDXXX]

I rarely socialize with other working guys. Its not that I feel I am better than them but if I'm not being hired or the forum I prefer to not talk about it. For me it's about trying to keep that balance of work and my private life. I do the same with my day job. I rarely hang out with coworkers unless I have to and I keep my personal life and day job as seperate as I can.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

Hey Greg,

 

Out of curiosity, do you think its best to keep an open mind to connect with other escorts from time-to-time as you never know when an escort may look out for you regarding an opportunity that might be in your best interest?

[JDXXX]

Can you see yourself involved or good friends with someone who does the same line of work you do? Now, I don't mean weekday lunches with co-workers, but I guess the question should be rather open ended. I'm referring more to getting serious or being regular friends with another lawyer, Doctor, contractor, teacher, or whatever profession you do outside of business hours.

 

I ask because after 6 years, I'm starting to realize that I dont find i sync well with other guys in the industry on a face to face, dating/friend level. It's not to be judgemental or bitchy, it's just I find guys who are not involved in the business, or even may have been formerly involved in the adult industry...seem to have broader horizons than some guys I've come across in the business. When they are off of work and with me, they're not on their phone the whole time with the possibility of getting called back into work.

 

I can't stop thinkin about a guy I dated who was an erotic masseur. I think he really scarred me, because I think about the things he would suggest to me, and how he often just revolved himself around the business 24/7. He was always on his apps, even suggesting me to "work my ads", meaning to contact clients who looked at me on adam4adam and solicit business, just because he did that. I did it briefly, but I knew better it wouldn't work. Every deep conversation was about the business, because that's all he had to talk about. I appreciated it, and sometimes instigated it...but talking about it with him bought absolutely no benefit except collecting information.

 

I also didn't like the feeling that he could (and would) at any time, take a call during the couple nights a week I'd see him. At this point in my career, I've learned to turn down appointments, or even better....work them into a time that fits mutually, and to also calculate my expected free time so I can hang with friends, family, or other commitments.

 

One of the other things is, I guess in a business like this...someone always has to be the teacher. Or the leader. Or the coach. Or they just want to talk about it. But, I actually feel better when I can go out with someone and not talk about the business at all. Like it never exists. Because it's like a trap, Once someone in the business starts talking about escorting... it goes on and on about how they do things, and how much money they make, and how good the market is for them, etc. I'm tired of all that. I rather just do my appoitments discreetly, and go on about my life. I'm not saying I don't want to have any escort friends (guys like JD Daniels, Mikey, Mike Vincenzo have all been great confidants), but the average guy in town with an ad up, seeing that I'm also an escort...nah.

 

I recently traveled for the last 4 weeks, and felt so free. I went the entire trip not discussing escorting with anyone...and for the first time in months, I felt a sense of peace. I wasn't trying to make numbers, I just took the calls, and kept myself busy with other things to the point I wasnt counting numbers.

 

Great Post, Mocha. Truly enjoyed it, and am quite thrilled you me and a few of the other guys as confidents as I feel likewise about you too.

[seaboy4hire]

Hey Greg,

 

Out of curiosity, do you think its best to keep an open mind to connect with other escorts from time-to-time as you never know when an escort may look out for you regarding an opportunity that might be in your best interest?

 

If another guy contacts me I'm not going to be an ass hole and brush him off or ignore him.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[JDXXX]

If another guy contacts me I'm not going to be an ass hole and brush him off or ignore him.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

That's good to know. Reason I'm asking because I know I have clients who look for a 2nd escort to join in, and wanted to know what your policies are regarding other escorts reaching out to you or if the escort himself may wanna hire you for a future meeting himself.

 

Glad to know you have an "open door" policy when it comes to those situations. .

[seaboy4hire]

That's good to know. Reason I'm asking because I know I have clients who look for a 2nd escort to join in, and wanted to know what your policies are regarding other escorts reaching out to you or if the escort himself may wanna hire you for a future meeting himself.

 

Glad to know you have an "open door" policy when it comes to those situations. .

My door is always open. Over the years I've had guys email me askjng for advice ranging from health questions, how to price themselves to where to advertise. I'm always happy to help when I can.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[corndog]

Mocha,

 

I think that the underlying premise of your question is that people can be lumped together and you can expect guys who belong to these groups to behave in similar ways. It's a natural human tendency to try to find patterns in the world around us, but sometimes this works against our better interests. If I recall correctly, in previous posts you've characterized "guys in Denver" to have certain traits, you've characterized "young guys" to have certain behaviors, etc., etc., etc. In each case, you've excluded large chunks of the dating pool due the behavior you've witnessed from a few people.

 

Now, you're deciding that dating people within "the industry" to be undesirable. I have no doubt that the erotic masseur that you dated was phone-obsessed and rude. I'm sure that there are other people in the industry who are also phone-obsessed and rude. But, to assume that everyone in the industry is phone-obsessed and rude is just eliminating a huge chunk from your dating pool without knowing them personally. Consider the possibility that there may be other people in the industry like you who want to disconnect during their "date time" and be with someone who understands their lifestyle without needing to talk about it. Also, consider previous discussions here (which I think you may have participated in) which have discussed how difficult it is for escorts and porn stars to date outside the industry. If you eliminate everyone in the industry from your dating pool, and then eliminate everyone outside the industry from your dating pool, you're going to end up a lonely old maid.

 

So, my advice you -- and I hope that you won't take this as a personal attack -- is to stop trying to judge people based on the groups that they belong to, and open your mind and heart to the whole spectrum of possibilities. I'm not trying to say that a lot of these generalizations are not often true, but you're only looking for one exception -- you only need to find one Mr. Right. This kind of thinking is the basis for prejudice and racism, and although you may feel fine when you say "guys in Denver are flakey" or "guys in the industry are phone-obsessed and rude," this kind of thinking is only one gray shade away from "black guys are thugs."

[Nebost]

If a person is the same line of work as you, they share some common experiences and understanding with you that sometimes makes understanding each other easy. After all, we spend a good deal of our time and effort at work. On the other hand , sometimes we want to get away from work, and shop is the last thing we want to discuss. It works both ways. I would not rule out dating or being good friends with someone in the same field, it all depends on the overall person.

[Nebost]

If a person is the same line of work as you, they share some common experiences and understanding with you that sometimes makes understanding each other easy. After all, we spend a good deal of our time and effort at work. On the other hand , sometimes we want to get away from work, and shop is the last thing we want to discuss. It works both ways. I would not rule out dating or being good friends with someone in the same field, it all depends on the overall person.

[Mocha]

That's good to know. Reason I'm asking because I know I have clients who look for a 2nd escort to join in, and wanted to know what your policies are regarding other escorts reaching out to you or if the escort himself may wanna hire you for a future meeting himself.

 

Glad to know you have an "open door" policy when it comes to those situations. .

 

I know the question wasn't directed at me, BUT....my answer is absolutely. I wouldn't mind meeting with a guy, or even chatting on the phone. I love chatting on the phone with guys. I'm also open to setting up 3 way scenes as well.

 

My first client who called me from the deceased rentboy, set up a 3 way scene with another escort. It ended up being a flop. But, the next day I reached out to the escort and in 15 minutes, he gave me some very good tips, that I still live by til this day.

[Mocha]

Mocha,

 

If you eliminate everyone in the industry from your dating pool, and then eliminate everyone outside the industry from your dating pool, you're going to end up a lonely old maid. So, my advice you -- and I hope that you won't take this as a personal attack -- is to stop trying to judge people based on the groups that they belong to, and open your mind and heart to the whole spectrum of possibilities.

 

I totally agree. But, that would be valid only if I didn't have lots of experiences over a course of 7 years and many cities. On a grand scale of things, I've had better experiences with men outside the industry, versus those in the industry. Some guys I've come across in the industry have come across as very flighty and self-serving. One day they're on your side, next time you meet, don't know what you're going to get. Matter of fact, I met a guy in Phoenix like that. I didn't even realize he was an escort until months later. I've seen his ads many times before then, but it just didn't register. He flipped shit on me the very next day I met him over nothing.

 

I hate to come off as judgemental, but that's just what I've dealt with. And it's not to put anyone down...I just think some things lead to the next. Many of us are forced to be independent and isolate to a certain extent, but some people integrate it into their life where fantasy becomes reality. Literally. Lol.

 

I still can't see myself getting involved with a guy who's actively escorting like me. Why? Not that I'm judging, but I realize I just can't do it because I can't have him always on the phone and on call, and me always being on call. In my last relationship with the guy, he would cancel plans all the time Saying clients would be calling. Not all escorts have the willpower or resources to separate from the business. If I meet a guy who can, that'll be great and we will live happily ever after.

 

I've had enough situations this year where I thought certain escorts either dating or met were going to be there for me, not overly criticize/judge me, and I just ended up walking away feeling like less of a person/businessman before I met them. So...one has to be discriminate of who they come across. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander. Or, what's good for a client may not be good for another escort.

 

And let's just be real: It doesn't matter what mindset you have nowadays. The dating scene is a battlefield. Guys nowadays cant be trusted for shit, because they're all full of shit. And clients, I know what y'all have to sift thru sometimes.

[corndog]

The dating scene is a battlefield. Guys nowadays cant be trusted for shit, because they're all full of shit.

As long as you continue to believe this, it will be your truth.

[+ Truereview]

Hmmmm...good topic and string. I've dated and made friends within my profession. In the majority of those situations, we've shared one thing in common at first - a passion for what we do- and then we discovered other differences and similarities that moved us closer or further apart.

 

To corndog's wise perspective, to me, it boils down to seeing the world the way it is, not the way we are. By this i mean that we all have biases. biases are based on past experience and biases are neither good nor bad. it is what you do with your biases - your behavior- that can lead to stereotypes, prejudices, discrimination.

 

Mocha, I dont think you are discriminating, but I do believe you may have a conscious or unconscious bias based on your particular set of experiences. Posting what you did is a perfect way to get a variety of markers/opinions to identify whether it is a bias or not. You gotta figure that out first before you answer your own intriguing question.

 

With that said, today,I choose to surround myself with friends, lovers and partners who are in drastically different professions and from different backgrounds...why? Not b/c I'm closed or discriminating or telling myself some story or truth. Instead, I do so by design b/c they help me see what I don't see and that makes, in my humble opinion, a better guy. I also remain open to meeting those in my field for whatever may come of it. Big hug and good luck on your journey.

[Mocha]

As long as you continue to believe this, it will be your truth.

 

Well, regardless of what I believe...It doesn't change the current trends. The reasons why? I'm going to explain, so that you can see that I'm not God, and can't create everything: More gay men are living with multiple roommates; creating less private time to think and focus on one another. Reason I believe is, despite gay becoming more normalized, gay guys still tend to congregate in expensive inner city neighborhoods, and a lot of guys under 30 still struggle with being underemployed, or finding stability in living situations.

 

Then, Dating and hookups are at the touch of a finger. The porn industry has become so normalized, broad, and accessible...making it easy to be "bored and horny."

 

Now, that said....I've had some great dating experiences. Most of the men I date, and clients, usually see me more than once, and usually multiple times. However, things don't tend to last as long as say, when I was gay in 2005, versus now in 2015. Because of the above reasons. But, I still feel that the quality guys are out there.

 

Recently, a favorite client in a very remote western state informed me of something. We've been seeing each other for over 3 years. Just recently he said he found another escort nearby, and said it succinctly: "too many men, not enough time". As they say though, variety is the spice of life.

 

But on the dating playing field, too much variety means you'll be running a lot of yards, making good plays, but not getting into the end zone. Lil football 101 for ya.

[corndog]

Recently, a favorite client in a very remote western state informed me of something. We've been seeing each other for over 3 years. Just recently he said he found another escort nearby, and said it succinctly: "too many men, not enough time".

 

Pick your stereotype:

 

All clients in western states are only interested in sex. As soon as they find someone new, they'll drop you. There is no loyalty among the clients in the western states. If you want to be successful and happy in this industry, you must avoid the western states.

 

- or -

 

Clients will drop you after 3 years. It doesn't matter how spectacular your service has been, once the 3-year mark rolls around, they'll find another escort and say goodbye. From now on, I'm going to do myself a favor, and after 2 years and 11 months, I'm going to stop answering calls from a regular client. It just isn't worth the bullshit.

 

- or -

 

Be careful about ever considering a client a "favorite." Once a client knows that you enjoy your time with them, they'll have a few more sessions and then drop you for some newer piece of meat. From now on, I'm going to make sure I'm equally miserable with all clients.