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Curse of the 18 inch penis.

dutchmuch

By + dutchmuch
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dutchmuch Experienced

+ dutchmuch

Posted
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ROBERTO Esquivel Cabrera has just set a world record for having the longest penis.

 

The 52-year-old Mexican measured in at a whopping 18.9 inches (48.2cm), with a tip circumference of 10 inches (25cm), at certification by World Record Academy officials yesterday.

 

Mr Cabrera had been hoping for recognition by Guinness World Records but had to settle for the less famous certifier after Guinness confirmed it had no category for penis size.

 

The World Record Academy stepped in after Mr Cabrera shared his story with a local journalist in an interview that was picked up by the world press over the weekend.

 

He told how his massive member had ruined his life, preventing him from having a relationship and even getting a job.

 

“Look where it is, it goes far below the knees,” Mr Cabrera said.

 

“I cannot do anything, I cannot work, and I am disabled so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support.”

 

Women were too frightened to have sex with him, so he had never had a long-term girlfriend, let alone a wife.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/lonely-life-of-roberto-esquivel-cabrera-the-man-with-the-worlds-longest-penis/story-fneuzlbd-1227506743937

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
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Hmmmm " Doc, I need you to fill out these disability forms because I cannot work because of my gigantic penis. " While someone has to have the world's largest penis, you wonder, is it really such a disability that he could not find some work? Let's see: Professional three legged racer. Human dipstick. Dildo model. Football coach at Penn State. IRS worker (they are all big dicks)

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Mocha Mentor

Mocha

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Lol, I wanna see pictures haha....they never have pictures!

 

Jobwise, there was a substitute teacher who'd work at our middle school. Now, at the time I was a bit too young to make sense of it, but this guy always had a "bump" in his pants...and not the typical zipper line bump.

 

He looked like he had a perpetual hardon. It was hard to not notice and look lol...and there were rumors...but it spectra only wasn't below his knees lol. I don't see how they let him work around kids. He had to have been in his 50s or 60s.

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Guest Starbuck

Guest Starbuck

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[Man with 18 inch penis says,] “I cannot do anything, I cannot work..."

 

Are we talking ruler inches or escort inches?

 

Because if it's the latter, maybe he could run an ad for foot fetishists.

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Phil_musc Mentor

Phil_musc

Posted
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Though I understand how this could be a touchy subject to report on (no pun intended), it seems odd to me that he's already 52 and we're only hearing about it now. Obviously he's been dealing with this for many years.

 

Though, you know, sometimes things just build up over time and one day you wake up with your 18+ inch penis (maybe with a particularly vicious case of morning wood. . . ) and you think to yourself, "enough is enough. My 18+ inch penis has ruined my life but I think maybe I should get some sort of government subsidy to ease my pain and torment." And who here can't understand his terrible plight?

 

Altogether now, let's sing (to the tune of "Do your ears hang low?" -

 

Do your balls hang low

Do they wobble to and fro

Can you tie 'em in a knot?

Can you tie 'em in a bow?

Can you sling 'em o'er your shoulder like a continental soldier?

Do your balls hang low?

 

Do your balls hang high?

Do they reach up to the sky?

Do they droop when wet,

Hang high when dry?

Can you semaphore your neighbor without any extra labor?

Do your balls hang high?

 

With apologies - too much leisure time here.

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bigvalboy Grand Master

bigvalboy

Posted
Posted
Faintly amusing tangent -- Googling 'Long Dong Silver' pulls up image after image of Clarence Thomas. (Mug shots of course!)

 

True dat...Clarence Thomas will forever remain etched into the pages of Google, whereas there is nary a mention of poor Anthony Weiner. I guess it's true what they say. :eek: (No nasty emails please, I just call it how I see it folks) :D

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dutchmuch Experienced

+ dutchmuch

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Tutankhamun's penis was fully ERECT when he was mummified so he would look like a god in afterlife

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/tutenkhamuns-penis-fully-erect-mummified-6358363

 

 

Buried with a donkey

(Funky Tut)

He's my favorite honkey!

Born in Arizona,

Moved to Babylonia

(King Tut)

 

(Tut, Tut)

Dancin' by the Nile,

(Disco Tut, Tut)

The ladies love his style,

(Boss Tut, Tut)

Rockin' for a mile

(Rockin' Tut, Tut)

He ate a crocodile.

 

Steve Martin / Saturday Night Live

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
Posted

 

Buried with a donkey

(Funky Tut)

He's my favorite honkey!

Born in Arizona,

Moved to Babylonia

(King Tut)

 

(Tut, Tut)

Dancin' by the Nile,

(Disco Tut, Tut)

The ladies love his style,

(Boss Tut, Tut)

Rockin' for a mile

(Rockin' Tut, Tut)

He ate a crocodile.

 

Steve Martin / Saturday Night Live

Shouldnt that be Born in Babylonia Move to Arizona. No one leaves Arizona to go go Babylonia.

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Guest Starbuck

Guest Starbuck

Posted
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Googling 'Long Dong Silver' pulls up image after image of Clarence Thomas. (Mug shots of course!)

 

I don't understand. Why?

 

Long Dong Silver, a porn actor famous for the size of his penis, attracted additional attention when his name was mentioned during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings in the U.S. Senate in 1991. Anita Hill alleged that Thomas had mentioned to her that he was a viewer of Long Dong Silver's films.

And why mugshots?

 

All the Justices have them. You can collect a full set!

http://rlv.zcache.com/justice_clarence_thomas_u_s_supreme_court_mug-rff6523fe82894c3a81e33d36dcc1c8b0_x7js1_8byvr_512.jpg

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AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted

So (continuing the hijack s'il vous plait :p ) shortly after the Clarence Thomas Hearings Circus a straight friend was getting married, the bachelor party was to be a van trip from Boston to the Foxy Lady strip club in Providence, and yours truly volunteered to select and procure the dirty videos to play in the hired-driver van on the ride down.

 

Of course the first title I played for these liberal but rather straightlaced Boston/Cambridge types was a Long Dong Silver feature.

 

That van full of straight boys was spellbound! :D

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quoththeraven Grand Master

+ quoththeraven

Posted
Posted
So (continuing the hijack s'il vous plait :p ) shortly after the Clarence Thomas Hearings Circus a straight friend was getting married, the bachelor party was to be a van trip from Boston to the Foxy Lady strip club in Providence, and yours truly volunteered to select and procure the dirty videos to play in the hired-driver van on the ride down.

 

Of course the first title I played for these liberal but rather straightlaced Boston/Cambridge types was a Long Dong Silver feature.

 

That van full of straight boys was spellbound! :D

 

The Combat Zone was too declasse for your friends?

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AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted
The Combat Zone was too declasse for your friends?

 

Even then the Combat Zone was not what it used to be. Never mind today.

 

(There is still one goil strip club there where one time after hiring a female escort, she took me there to meet her girlfriend dancing there. Sweet couple.)

 

But of course these Cambridge men got dispensation from their wives to do this thing specifically because it was far away. (They all did ask!)

 

(And then caught hell from the wives anyway! :D )

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