If Guys Acted In Real Life The Way They Do On Gay Apps

[Kevin Slater]

[video=youtube;5Zk5XC8tu64]

 

Kevin Slater

[bigvalboy]

"No fats, no fems, no Asians"

 

A Little slap of reality....love it.

[marylander1940]

"No fats, no fems, no Asians"

 

A Little slap of reality....love it.

 

Wonderful!

 

I don't want to hijack this thread but sometimes escorts advertise that way too and it was legal on housing till 1955. (thank you activist judges of the Supreme Court!)

[+ quoththeraven]

 

Technology sure can enable some to act as if they weren't communicating with a real, autonomous human being with feelings.

[shadowcatzxxx]

Truth be told, if that guy with the bag on his head came on to me, I'd give him a whirl!

 

(and I just noticed that I somehow became a Baron on this forum. I don't remember marrying royalty ... but thanks!)

[+ Hoover42]

Honestly, I'd be thrilled if some hot guy walked up and dropped his pants in front of me without prompting!

 

The last time that happened, I was 16 years old!

[Diverdan]

Hoover... that must have been fun at 16 !!! I hope you followed through on the invitation... Can you share? Inquiring minds would like to know what happened....

[+ purplekow]

Well if it was before Hoover was Hoover, there are two options, nothing happened or that is how he got the name Hoover. If it is after he got the name Hoover, well. I do not think we need to speculate any further.

[+ Hoover42]

OK, Diver, here's the slightly shortened version of that story.

 

Back in the day, I used to be friends with a family of seven brothers, many of whom I secretly (or so I thought) lusted after, and one of whom I blowing on a regular basis.

 

One of the other brothers found out that I'd been blowing one of his siblings and decided he wanted in on the action. We were watching TV one evening, and out of the blue, he said, "Hey, you know what I could use right now? A fucking blowjob!"

 

I was coy and pretended to be disinterested and he dropped the subject.

 

However, every time I saw him over the next few days, he brought up the subject again, and every time, I pretended to be disinterested or annoyed.

 

After a week of that, he gave up and I was certain that I'd managed to preserve my image as a total prude.

 

On the fifth day, I came home from school and he was standing in my living room waiting for me (this was not uncommon for me then as all my friends had free reign of each other's homes). When I asked him what was going on, he said again, "Well, I want you to suck my dick!" When I responded, "I told you...I'm not interested!", he walked up to me, dropped his pants, and exposed a seven inch, almost hard, uncut dick, and said, "Still not interested?"

 

My charade ended that day!

[maninsoma]

Not that very many guys pursue me online, but I'll confess to sometimes ignoring guys on hook-up apps if it's obvious to me from their profiles that I have no interest in them. I learned the hard way that it's actually worse to "lead someone on" by responding than simply not acknowledging their initial messages. I think most people are smart enough and mature enough to understand that a lack of reply means a lack of interest. No biggie.

[+ FreshFluff]

Funny!

 

But as I watched, I thought, "Wait, messaging someone on Grindr =/= coming up to a guy keeping to himself on a park bench" A better analogue to Grindr would be a bathhouse, where everyone is there to meet guys and get laid. I'll bet you see a lot of guys turning away from "fats/Asians/fems," dropping trou, etc. in bathhouses.

[+ SimplyAdam]

Hysterical (and a bit tragic).

 

To echo the raven quoter: "Technology sure can enable some to act as if they weren't communicating with a real, autonomous human being with feelings." It makes you wonder the many ways in which technology tends to separate us from our own humanness.

 

I was mostly on ManHunt, Gay Romeo, and Grindr when I lived in Madrid and quickly was over reading "sin pluma" (without feathers), profile after profile, only to see the same "musculoca" (muscle Mary) strutting her stuff down Calle de Hortaleza.

 

"I’m tired of using my body as a faceless thing to lure another faceless thing. I want to love a person!” - Larry Kramer, Faggots (1978)

[caliguy]

Not that very many guys pursue me online, but I'll confess to sometimes ignoring guys on hook-up apps if it's obvious to me from their profiles that I have no interest in them. I learned the hard way that it's actually worse to "lead someone on" by responding than simply not acknowledging their initial messages. I think most people are smart enough and mature enough to understand that a lack of reply means a lack of interest. No biggie.

 

What if someone praises your pics or profile or just says something nice like how are you today. Do you just take the safe route and ignore them?

[maninsoma]

What if someone praises your pics or profile or just says something nice like how are you today. Do you just take the safe route and ignore them?

 

No. If I get an actual compliment or nice message, I'll respond. But someone who just unlocks his pictures and then says "hi" or, worse yet, just sends a "smile" on Adam4Adam gets ignored.

[EastbayMike]

No. If I get an actual compliment or nice message, I'll respond. But someone who just unlocks his pictures and then says "hi" or, worse yet, just sends a "smile" on Adam4Adam gets ignored.

 

Curious about your approach to a4a. Seems like the best wat to judge if a person is interested in you is sending a "hi" or a smile. If i get no response i assume they're not. Why waste time with a long first message?

[Juan Vancouver]

As I watched, I thought, "Wait, messaging someone on Grindr =/= coming up to a guy keeping to himself on a park bench" A better analogue to Grindr would be a bathhouse, where everyone is there to meet guys and get laid.

 

That is a very common misconception that even some people in Grinder believe. As a matter of fact a very small percentage log on to Grinder to actually get laid. Most are just looking at pics, rubbing one off, wanting hot chat, wanting friendly chat or wasting time between activities. Very few people are actually looking to meet someone. They wish they did, but thats all. People open grinder at the office between tasks, at school, at the gym, and yes, at a park bench. I found that this was perfect example. The constant, aggressively sexual interruption of a normal day.

 

Curious about your approach to a4a. Seems like the best wat to judge if a person is interested in you is sending a "hi" or a smile. If i get no response i assume they're not. Why waste time with a long first message?

 

Personally I would never answer to a Hi message. Unless it was Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth. I believe that the amount people put in their interactions -always- shows how much effort and ability they will devote to the actual meet or sex. Hi to me is just an interruption, an annoyance. On the other hand "Hey man, what a beautiful picture, You sure sound fun! I am downtown killing some time, what are you up to?" Gives me enough information to make a decision on whether or not to actually answer.

 

The same applies to enquiring clients. Only ten percent of clients who start with an email or text that says "Hi Juan" ever book. When I get a "Hi" more often than not I feel like ignoring it altogether.

 

Of course, that is just my experience.

[EastbayMike]

Thanks Juan. I've also had the opposite experience with masseurs and escorts when traveling. I'll write a detailed message about what I'm looking for, when I'll be in town, where I'm staying... Most times the only response i receive is "text me when you arrive." I understand that service providers must get many similar requests and maybe it's easier to ignore them, but I'm a consultant and would be soon out of a job if i treated potential clients that way. For what it's worth, I've never responded to those responses with a text when i get to town.

[Juan Vancouver]

I find that we all have different standards and ways of conducting business and interpersonal relationships. I would say that they are all valid as they fulfill a specific niche. I believe that the only trick for a happy life with others is to find the people with whom you share a common way and focus on dealing exclusively with those.

 

It's my experience that if I try to please everyone I will just leave everyone unfulfilled and I am going to feel angry, hurt and uncomfortable.

 

Show me the few ones who see interpersonal relationships the way I do, and I will love them, enjoy them and take care of them for the precious gifts that they are.

[+ Gar1eth]

Not that very many guys pursue me online, but I'll confess to sometimes ignoring guys on hook-up apps if it's obvious to me from their profiles that I have no interest in them.

 

Actually unfortunately it is a biggie to me. For example I think almost the only people who have contacted me on any of the apps over the last two weeks have been more than a 1000 miles away. And several of those were the ones who write a 4 paragraph message saying "I'm looking for my life partner. I don't care how far away he is' type of message which if they aren't scams, then I really worry about these guys' mental state. I've deleted the apps at least 3 or 4 times in the past because I'm at that awkward stage-too bear for some and not bear enough for others when on the inside I'm just me and not really into the 'bear culture' mindset at all. At the moment I look at the apps occasionally, but I really don't even care enough to to take the time to delete them at moment. Unlike Juan though, I'd gladly meet a guy I was attracted to. While surfing the pictures may be all most want to do, I have enough virtual relationships in my

life from either Facebook or a few gay penpals I've made over the years from various Forums or Bulletin Boards. If the apps don't lead to a meeting for me- and I can't remember the last time they did lead to a meeting- they are useless to me. If I get the urge to look at naughty pictures of men who would never be interested in me/never want to meet, I can do without the apps and look at Rentboy, M4RN, Rentmen, or various other porn sites.

 

Gman

[maninsoma]

Actually unfortunately it is a biggie to me. For example I think almost the only people who have contacted me on any of the apps over the last two weeks have been more than a 1000 miles away. And several of those were the ones who write a 4 paragraph message saying "I'm looking for my life partner. I don't care how far away he is' type of message which if they aren't scams, then I really worry about these guys' mental state. I've deleted the apps at least 3 or 4 times in the past because I'm at that awkward stage-too bear for some and not bear enough for others when on the inside I'm just me and not really into the 'bear culture' mindset at all. At the moment I look at the apps occasionally, but I really don't even care enough to to take the time to delete them at moment. Unlike Juan though, I'd gladly meet a guy I was attracted to. While surfing the pictures may be all most want to do, I have enough virtual relationships in my

life from either Facebook or a few gay penpals I've made over the years from various Forums or Bulletin Boards. If the apps don't lead to a meeting for me- and I can't remember the last time they did lead to a meeting- they are useless to me. If I get the urge to look at naughty pictures of men who would never be interested in me/never want to meet, I can do without the apps and look at Rentboy, M4RN, Rentmen, or various other porn sites.

 

Gman

 

I've always assumed that those messages from people 1,000+ miles away are actually just scams. They are hoping to find someone lonely enough and gullible enough to believe that he's found his "soul mate" online, and then they'll start asking you for money so they can get their lives in order to fly to your destination to be with you forever. I'm sometimes lonely, but I'm never that stupid. If I want to hire a hot guy to spend some time with me, I've got local options.

[Nvr2Thick]

Not that very many guys pursue me online, but I'll confess to sometimes ignoring guys on hook-up apps if it's obvious to me from their profiles that I have no interest in them. I learned the hard way that it's actually worse to "lead someone on" by responding than simply not acknowledging their initial messages. I think most people are smart enough and mature enough to understand that a lack of reply means a lack of interest. No biggie.

 

My two pet peeves online:

 

1) Guys who don't know how to say "I'm not interested". I usually say more than "hi"; I express some interest. I can take a hint from the guys that don't respond. There's a surprising number of guys who will continue to give short replies. I suppose I can understand their points of view -- I'm sure a lot of guys go into heavy drama when you reject them.

 

2) Guys who get pissed off when you look at their profiles. On A4A I have tracking turned on. At least once every couple of months I'll get bashed by someone I haven't sent a message to, but who responds negatively to seeing that I viewed his profile. "Dude, I am SO not interested" "Read my profile. I'm only into black men" "Don't you have something better to do than check out my pics?"

 

and OK, there's a third:

 

3) The "hi" "hi" "hi" guy from the video. He just doesn't know when to stop. A bit of polite chat exposes that he wants to hook up and we're both total bottoms, so we agree that there's no point. Until the next time and the next time. And when you block him you find out that he maintains two profiles, and he starts flaming you from the other one.

 

four:

 

4) Mixed messages. Profile is something like Penetrator9in. Pics are all body and erection. Profile text is three paragraphs about how all everyone wants to do is hook up and he's looking for something real -- long walks on the beach, theater, someone to hang with and work out. And he's looking for "Friendship" and "Relationship", but his status is "Online - for Right Now"