I'm begging you to give me this job!

[+ FreshFluff]

It's time for another odd Fluffy thread!

 

Every year, I invite a few over the very students I know well to apply for a part time job lasting a few months. It's easier and pays better per hour than food service, but because of the low number of hours, most students would consider it a 2nd or 3rd job. Also, a lot of similar positions are available.

 

One of the top candidates, whom I'll call John, is an extremely bright kid who sent me several emails which asked/begged for the position with increasing intensity. While it was close, I picked another candidate. I knew John would be disappointed, so I offered to serve as a strong reference for his real job search.

 

John replied with a note that was the equivalent of getting down on his hands and knees. He told me he "would be lying if he said he wasn't very disappointed." He asked for a "compromise" (splitting the position between the two) and then wrote:

I just really want some way for this to work out. I would honestly be shocked if this other candidate is more passionate about this position than I am or is more prepared for this position than I am. I know completely than I deserve this job and want nothing more right now than to have it this Fall.

 

This 4 hour/week job is what he wants more than anything else? If he needs the money or wants this type of position, there are many similar positions that pay the same; a highly qualified person like him could easily land one. If he's interested in the subject matter, as he says, then taking a position like this makes no sense, and he's smart enough to know it.

 

Is it me, or does the email sounds more like a guy asking his girlfriend not to break up with him than a candidate trying to get a job?

 

(BTW, if you reply, please don't quote the post. That way, I can edit for privacy reasons if necessary.)

[+ FreshFluff]

Ever had anyone beg you for something in an unexpectedly intense way? I still don't what's behind all this.

[rvwnsd]

John's note seems a little over the top, particularly over a four hour a week job. Do you think he is infatuated with you?

[leeper]

OK, let me venture a couple of options:

 

1) The student is actually an entitled millennial who can't bear the thought of not getting his way. He has developed a tool bag of tactics to use if things don't seem to be going his way. These tactics actually work very well on his parents.

2) The student actually feels this small job will look absolutely phenomenal on his resume. He really wants to be able to plug this experience into it.

3) The student is actually passionate about the job and/or working with you and feels it would be an excellent overall experience.

 

From this distance, it is difficult to determine if any of these might be the root cause of his desperation, but if you feel you picked the best candidate, I would acknowledge his fervor, stick to the original decision, and let him know that if circumstances change with the chosen candidate you will let him know.

[bigvalboy]

John's note seems a little over the top, particularly over a four hour a week job. Do you think he is infatuated with you?

 

That was my thought. If you think that is a possibility, then stick to your original decision.

[+ Gar1eth]

John's note seems a little over the top, particularly over a four hour a week job. Do you think he is infatuated with you?

 

That was my thought. If you think that is a possibility, then stick to your original decision.

 

I was wondering if he might have a crush too. After all Fluff, you are extremely pretty!!!

 

Gman

[bigvalboy]

I was wondering if he might have a crush too. After all Fluff, you are extremely pretty!!!

Gman

 

Indeed the young lady is!!! If only I was 30 years younger.

[Diverdan]

I too think it is over the top, and if you change your mind and give him the job, it will only reinforce his idea that he can get what ever HE wants. Stick to your decision and see what he does. Don't be surprised if he keeps after you and wants to know how the person you selected is working out, etc., etc., etc. When I was in graduate school, I had a position where I was able to have an assistant on a part time basis. I had a similar experience with an attractive young lady. I didn't select her, but a very good looking guy, who was more qualified than her. She started coming by my office to "see if everything was ok" with the person I selected. I finally told her that she had to stop coming by my office, and if she didn't change her behavior, I was going to have to have a discussion with her advisor about her inappropriate behavior. She stopped coming to the office and I never saw her again. It turned out she dropped out of graduate school the following semester, and I was so glad I had not hired her. Your instincts are right on Fluff... this guy is potentially trouble.

[+ FreshFluff]

Leeper, It's not a position that would help on a resume . He is indeed a millennial and that might explain the sense of entitlement.

 

Diverdan, Interesting parallel situation. This isn't even an graduate RA position, which it sounds like yours was. The student is an undergrad and the position is mostly marking and administrative gruntwork.

 

BVB, Gman, and rvw,

 

Yes, that's how the email sounded. But he never tried to flirt with me when we were face to face, which a few of the more fratty guys do. That's why I was surprised.

 

I definitely won't change my mind; I already had a problem with an unstable assistant a few years ago, and this latest email concerns me. l. I'm just thinking of emailing him to see if there's some way I can help get what he wants--a similar position, a way to pursue the field, or whatever.

 

(BTW, thanks for the sweet compliment, BVB and Gman.)

[+ Gar1eth]

I was wondering if he might have a crush too. After all Fluff, you are extremely pretty!!!

 

Gman

 

Indeed the young lady is!!! If only I was 30 years younger.

 

Me too!! And straight of course. Although it's a paradox. if I were straight, I probably never would have found this website. And if I had never found this website, I most likely would never have made the acquaintance of FreshFluff. Just as well that I've met her on here, I guess. If I were straight and had met her in person , I wouldn't be in Fresh's class.

 

 

 

Gman

[+ purplekow]

i would briefly e mail him that the position is definitely filled and that further discussion is unwarranted and unwelcome. I would not respond to any further correspondence except to inform him that as he is unwilling to let this matter drop, you find it necessary to contact the appropriate authorities so that they may deal with this.

Probably a crush, but young man with a crush and a young man with a problem are hard to distinguish and you should protect yourself professionally.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Fluff - One other possibility. He may have assumed that the job would be his and may have embellished that you asked him to apply for the position. So he may be fully embarrassed and does not know tell his friends he wasn't selected.

[+ FreshFluff]

i would briefly e mail him that the position is definitely filled and that further discussion is unwarranted and unwelcome. I would not respond to any further correspondence except to inform him that as he is unwilling to let this matter drop, you find it necessary to contact the appropriate authorities so that they may deal with this.

Probably a crush, but young man with a crush and a young man with a problem are hard to distinguish and you should protect yourself professionally.

 

Actually, I already replied to him before I posted. The reply reiterated the answer and my consolation prize offer. I also told him how hard the decision was and that I understood his disappointment. Having him take the "consolation prize" job would have helped me, but I was relieved that he didn't reply.

 

You make a good point about not inquiring further about how I can help him out. Who knows if this is an innocent crush , desire for a job, or a deeper problem.

 

Fluff - One other possibility. He may have assumed that the job would be his and may have embellished that you asked him to apply for the position. So he may be fully embarrassed and does not know tell his friends he wasn't selected.

 

I hadn't thought of that but it's definitely possible. Last year, I gave him him a lot of (deserved) praise for his work, so maybe he thought the job was his.

 

Indeed the young lady is!!! If only I was 30 years younger.

 

Aw thanks but I think you're exaggerating. I don't look as good when I'm as tired as I am tonight, after a night out.

 

I'd much prefer your and Gman's current ages versus 30 years younger. The bigger problem, BVB, is that bouncing boobs make you soft!

Interesting; I can definitely see that. I can't fathom why his friends would care, but I could see him talking about it.

[+ friendofsheila]

It's also possible he lied to someone else (maybe another employer?) about having your job already, and needs to make good on that in case the other (employer) has reason to contact you.

 

I did think first of the "crush" idea, but I realized that's just me having a fantasy.

[Daverwr]

Either A: He thinks the position will lead to something more substantial within the company. He's looking to get his foot in the door. Or, more likely, B: He's looking to get his foot in your bedroom!

 

Tell him you only have relationships with gay men!

 

Luv ya, Fluff!

[+ FreshFluff]

Thanks for your replies. The last couple of emails from him are of increasing concern, with references to crushing his dream.

 

I have informal contacts with counseling services, and I have asked for their advice (while stripping out his name). After Virginia Tech, no one fools around with this stuff anymore.

[bigvalboy]

Thanks for your replies. The last couple of emails from him are of increasing concern, with references to crushing his dream.

 

I have informal contacts with counseling services, and I have asked for their advice (while stripping out his name). After Virginia Tech, no one fools around with this stuff anymore.

 

You are definitely doing the right thing by asking for counseling services advice. He obviously has issues, and keeping your distance is probably smart. Be safe and be careful. Let us know how all of this shakes out.

[+ friendofsheila]

keeping your distance is probably smart.

 

Let us know how all of this shakes out.

 

Agreed.

[+ FreshFluff]

Fluff - One other possibility. He may have assumed that the job would be his and may have embellished that you asked him to apply for the position. So he may be fully embarrassed and does not know tell his friends he wasn't selected.

 

It's also possible he lied to someone else (maybe another employer?) about having your job already, and needs to make good on that in case the other (employer) has reason to contact you.

 

 

 

So I talked to the student's adviser confidentially. Turned out he knew him pretty well and said he was pretty intense, although he had never pushed back to that degree. But the adviser mentioned that that the student "told me that he would be a [name of the position] this fall."

 

Bingo. I had given him some deserved high praise last year. But I warned hi earlier this summer that there were several excellent applicants and that it would take time to decide between them. The fact that he assumed he had the job complements the arrogance he showed in his emails challenging the decision.

[BSR]

That was my guess, that he assumed the job was his, to the point that he was bragging about it. The funny thing is that Mr. Millennial sounds like a typical youth, you know, at the age of 20-something (or maybe even teen-something), he knows everything. Hey son, if you know everything, then why don't you know that you can't count your chickens before they hatch? Golly, even country bumpkins (who Mr. Know It All most likely looks down on) know better than that.

 

Congrats, FF, on doing the right thing. He sounds like a manipulative little bugger who's waaaaaaay to used to getting what he wants.

[+ friendofsheila]

Bingo.

 

Yay! I'll take the Acapulco vacation, the Ford Fiesta, the rim-job from Ricky Martin, and the rest I'll take on a gift certificate.