Of Speech and Sex

[Will]

Random's thread on English usage raises the question of why it is important that we write what we mean and mean what we write. In my dealings with escorts, I have noticed over and over that the one thing they share is the ability to use words to say exactly what they mean. Some of those articulate escorts post here: Rick Munroe, Gino Mancuso, Jeff in Ohio, and even the redoubtable Jim in NYC, who uses words like buckshot but to good effect. I don't feel comfortable with someone when I can't figure out what he means. And if I don't feel comfortable with him, I don't want to have sex with him.

 

Communication is the bread and butter of escort/client relationships, and a website like this one requires that the communication be in writing. Even so, the apparently inherent poverty of online communication as a resource for exchanging any kind of subtle meaning has given rise to all those awful little symbols that take the place of inflected language -- <g> to denote amusement, for good intentions. These and all the others are substitutes for the communication of personhood. Yes, it's troublesome to figure out how to say what I mean without recourse to all those gimmicks. On the other hand, going to that trouble makes me think seriously about what I actually want to say.

 

From all this I conclude that it's good business for escorts to write clearly, simply, and to use their spell-checks. As a result, they might find themselves increasing their client base. And if the clients in their turn would go to a similar effort when they post, we might not kick up quite so much sand that obscures the genuinely interesting issues.

[ValleyDwellerNorth]

Dear Sirs (and some odd Madams),

 

Since there is this influential treatise on the use, and gross lack thereof, of appropriate English and grammar I felt it compulsory to add these two pieces of information below. The first piece has to do with the word “fuck” and the other is a succinct lexicon regarding computer “emoticons” and abbreviations.

 

VDN

 

FUCK

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the

English language today is the word "fuck". It is the magical

word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many Grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb both transitive (John fucked Tina) and

intransitive (Tina was Fucked by John).

It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb

(Tina really doesn't give a fuck), and adverb (Tina is fucking

interested in John), or as a noun (Tina is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for

my date with Tina). It can even be ued as a conjunction (Tina is easy,

fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see there aren't very many words with the overall

versitility of the word fuck. Aside from its sexual connotations,

this word can be used to describe many situations:

 

1. Greetings........."How the fuck are ya?"

2. Fraud..............."I got fucked by the car dealer."

3. Resignation......."Oh, fuck it!"

4. Trouble............."I guess I'm fucked now."

5. Agression........."FUCK YOU!"

6. Disgust................"Fuck me."

7. Confusion............." What the fuck....?"

8. Displeasure............"Fucking shit man..."

9. Lost........................"where the fuck are we?"

10.Disbelief.............."UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!"

11.Retaliation............."Up your fucking ass!"

12.Apathy................."Who really gives a fuck?"

13.Suspicion............."Who the fuck are you?"

14.Directions.............."Fuck off."

It can be maternal........"MOTHERFUCKER!!"

It can be used to tell time......." It's four fucking twenty!"

It can be used as an anatomical description.............

"He's a fucking asshole."

 

Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:

"What the fuck was that?" ~Mayor of Hiroshema~

"Thats not a real fucking gun." ~John Lennon~

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" ~Captain of the Titanic~

"Who the fuck is gonna find out?" ~Richard Nixon~

"Heads are gonna fucking roll." ~Anne Boleyn~

"Any fucking idiot could answer that." ~Albert Einstein~

"It does so fucking look like her!" ~Picasso~

"You want what on the fucking celiling?" ~Michaelangelo~

"Fuck a duck." ~Walt Disney~

"Houston we Have a big fucking problem." ~The crew of Apollo 13~

---

AFK: Away from keyboard

A/S/L: Age/Sex/Location

BTW: by the way

BAK: Back at Keyboard

BRB: be right back

GMTA: Great Minds think Alike

IM: Instant Message

IMHO: In my own humble opinion

LTNS: Long time no see

LOL: Laughing out loud

LMAO: Laughing my Ass off

ROTFL: Rolling on the floor laughing

TOS: Terms of service

TTFN: ta ta for now

VBG: very big grin

WB: Welcome Back

WTG: Way to go

or :-) Smile

Smile/laughing/big grin

** kiss kiss

wmink

{ } Hug

frown

:, ( crying

0:) angel

:X my lips are sealed

sticking out tongue

(_I_) Moon

** kiss kiss

wink

{ } Hug

frown

:, ( crying

[+ Lucky]

RE: Basics

 

Fuck Dick. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

See Dick fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Come, Dick. Come. Come. Come.

See Dick fuck and come.

[btmstudnyc]

Will, Will, Will

 

I have to put in my 2 cents...My TWO SENSE.

 

I am sorry my Enlish grammar is not perfect...which Rick Munroe always seems to be pointing out to me. I am not a digital person. I actually feel better once I have a person in front of me. Body language is much more important to me before, during and after sex.

 

Someone could have perfect English....and yet portray a completely different person through body language.

 

There are some guys I'd rather write and talk too. There are others I'd rather they keep their words to themselves.

 

Some guys are kinesthetic.

Some guys are visual.

Some guys are aural....NO, not oral.

So, give some people a break. Try and understand their mode of operendum. (Did I spell that right?)

 

I could go on and on...but I know my grammar will give some of you a headache.

 

In the famous words of a drag queen....

 

GIRL!!!

I will READ YOU,

WRITE YOU,

AND

ERASE YOU...

OK

 

Will, I semi-agree with you. Can you come over so we can debate this issue in bed? You do have a point. I do have to play devil's advocate. It's just in my nature.

 

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!

 

JIM

If it dont fit, force it

btmstudnyc@aol.com

[+ Lucky]

"I conclude that it's good business for escorts to write clearly, simply, and to use their spell-checks."

 

Jim, isn't Will's request fairly easy to comply with? Why would you need to go to bed to understand his point?

 

And now that I know you are not digital or aural...

[btmstudnyc]

>Jim, isn't Will's request fairly easy to comply with? Why

>would you need to go to bed to understand his point?

 

Because I only understand someone when I sleep with them.

That's why I can't wait to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU.

 

JIM

 

 

If it dont fit, force it

btmstudnyc@aol.com

[Rick Munroe]

>I am sorry my Enlish grammar is not perfect...which Rick

>Munroe always seems to be pointing out to me.

 

Maybe you'll just have to massage me a little deeper so I can't speak at all.

[Rick Munroe]

>even the redoubtable Jim in NYC, who uses words like buckshot

 

That's funny...I have known Jim for over a year and I have never once heard him use the word "buckshot."

 

>the apparently inherent

>poverty of online communication as a resource for exchanging

>any kind of subtle meaning has given rise to all those awful

>little symbols that take the place of inflected language --

><g> to denote amusement, for good intentions.

 

You know what's sad? I now use emoticons when I write with pen and paper. The other day I actually found myself putting a colon followed by a parenthesis on a note to my neighbor. I realized it looked weird so I started to change it to an old-fashioned smiley face with a circle around it but that would just be so "12-year-old girl" so I left the emoticon as it was. Life in 2003. :o

[Will]

Bingo! You got me, Rick. "Like" and "as" frequently betray me. Here's the edited version: "Jim in NYC uses words as though they were buckshot." I stand corrected.

[Rick Munroe]

>Here's the edited version: "Jim in NYC uses words as

>though they were buckshot."

 

But...that's not as funny. I like the original version.

[VaHawk]

RE: Basics

 

>Fuck Dick. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

>See Dick fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

>Come, Dick. Come. Come. Come.

>See Dick fuck and come.

 

Fuck Jane. Fuck Fuck Fuck

Dick Fuck Jane. Fuck Fuck

Jane say Dick not hit spot

Woof, woof in comes Spot hot to trot

Dick fuck Spot doggy style

While Spot use tongue to drive Jane wild

 

Sally only like pussys like Puff

And teddys bears like Tim - they're hot stuff

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Basics

 

>While Spot use tongue to drive Jane wild

 

I did that this afternoon: I was Jane and a cute guy, who followed me home from the gym like a puppy, played Spot. }(

[VaHawk]

RE: Basics - And Dick Was?

 

LOL! So who the heck played Dick in this 3some scenario? Damn I feel like Oliver "please sir, some more".

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Basics - And Dick Was?

 

>LOL! So who the heck played Dick in this 3some scenario?

 

Well, it sure wasn't Derek because he always hits my spot.

[Will]

I like the original version, too. It's not only funnier; it sounds more like speech, which is more forgiving in gray grammatical zones than is writing. But the flattened affect of cybertalk obscured your preference, and I was merely trying not to be one-upped by letting you have the last word on English usage!<g>

[Trixie]

I don't know why so many of you are concerned with an escort's ability to speak (or write) in proper English... let's face it, a guy who cannot (or can act decently that he cannot) is more of a turn on! How many of you fantasize about Oscar Wilde as opposed to Stanley (Marlon Brando) in "Streetcar..." (an allusion chosen in honor of the "Cat/Roof" thread... long live Tennessee!)

What would you rather hear during the height of an orgasm: "Oh my, how fabulous," or

"STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

[btmstudnyc]

>>even the redoubtable Jim in NYC, who uses words like

>buckshot

>

>That's funny...I have known Jim for over a year and I have

>never once heard him use the word "buckshot."

>

 

RICK, Yes you have...I said..."I wish you could have been there when BUCK SHOT in my face." Or maybe that was just a dream...Maybe it should be rickshot. I use words like rickshot in my face.

 

Is that what you meant Will?

 

JIM

 

If it dont fit, force it

btmstudnyc@aol.com

[Will]

To each her own turn-on, I suppose. Speaking only for myself, of course, the less articulate, the less sexy. That isn't to say that articulate equals sexy. There was more difference between Oscar Wilde and Stanley/Brando, after all, than their command of English. Come to that, Brando himself is extremely articulate. Maybe I'm in the minority -- there's nothing new about that -- but I'm just not interested in parts of men. I like the whole thing, including his head. (Pun not intended, but welcome.)

[+ Charlie]

My most recent escort encounter was with a hunk who was absolutely ideal visually, and was really into the same acts I was into, but I had a great deal of difficulty understanding him much of the time, because we spoke different languages. In a way it was more exciting at times because the whole thing was slightly unpredictable and uncontrolled, but often it was simply frustrating because I didn't know what he wanted, and he obviously wasn't sure what I wanted. I like to talk after the scene, but it was impossible, so the experience seemed incomplete.