ejaculation - by advance arrangement only?

[+ RyanDean]

Feel free to put this in the "I feel stupid for asking this" column as well...

 

Recently, I had an experience hiring a very well-reviewed guy who, when I indicated that I hoped to see him shoot, replied with something like "that's hard for me" (which communicated, gently but firmly, "that's not gonna happen"). This was in the context of a very pleasant encounter, in which the guy lived up to his hype in terms of good looks and friendly attitude. This wasn't a spontaneous call, as we had made arrangements well in advance (making adjustments via text as we went along). However, we had *not* discussed "the particulars" of the encounter in advance. I had opened the subject several times, though perhaps too generally ("anything you need to know from me"), and he never engaged ("I'm good"). We had a pleasant enough time, to be sure; he's a dreamboat and a sweetheart. But the experience did confirm that seeing a guy have his happy ending is pretty important to me.

 

SO - I guess main my question is:

1) Was this a "not unusual" situation? (I get it that the gig might bring multiple clients in a day, which might deplete certain resources.)

 

And, as follow-up:

2) Was it my mistake not to have specified in advance that I definitely wanted HIM to cum?

3) And, if so, what's the least obnoxious way to make such a "special order"?

 

Thanks, gents.

[+ Gar1eth]

Feel free to put this in the "I feel stupid for asking this" column as well...

 

Recently, I had an experience hiring a very well-reviewed guy who, when I indicated that I hoped to see him shoot, replied with something like "that's hard for me" (which communicated, gently but firmly, "that's not gonna happen"). This was in the context of a very pleasant encounter, in which the guy lived up to his hype in terms of good looks and friendly attitude. This wasn't a spontaneous call, as we had made arrangements well in advance (making adjustments via text as we went along). However, we had *not* discussed "the particulars" of the encounter in advance. I had opened the subject several times, though perhaps too generally ("anything you need to know from me"), and he never engaged ("I'm good"). We had a pleasant enough time, to be sure; he's a dreamboat and a sweetheart. But the experience did confirm that seeing a guy have his happy ending is pretty important to me.

 

SO - I guess main my question is:

1) Was this a "not unusual" situation? (I get it that the gig might bring multiple clients in a day, which might deplete certain resources.)

 

And, as follow-up:

2) Was it my mistake not to have specified in advance that I definitely wanted HIM to cum?

3) And, if so, what's the least obnoxious way to make such a "special order"?

 

Thanks, gents.

 

It's been talked about before on here that if you want the escort to cum, it's better to talk with them about this beforehand. For example maybe a top can only cum once without hours of recovery. And why happens if you are the first client of the day? He might be out of commission for hours after that. So usually unless it's an overnight or longer, and you are specifically wanting the guy to see the guy cum- and it goes for bottoms too, you should ask about it ahead of time.

 

As for discussing it, all you need to do is say something like, 'I really like to see the guys I'm with cum. Will you be able to when we meet?'

 

Believe me, it won't be be the 1st time someone has asked him.

 

Gman

[Steven_Draker]

Eugenio, if seeing your escort cum is paramount, definitely communicate that in the initial conversation ahead of time and ask him what would be the best time to meet up considering that.

[+ RyanDean]

Thanks, gents.

I don't think I understood that it was as important as it was until this experience, so this is all very clarifying

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Always communicate anything you want to happen (or not happen) no matter how basic it may seem. And it may change from time to time with an escort you've hired several times.

 

For example, I often like to start with a cocktail or glass of wine before heading up to the hotel room when traveling. During my last time with an escort I let him know that I was in the middle of a cleanse which excluded any use of alcohol, so we would not have our regular "catching up" cocktail chat and would be going straight to the room.

[jawjateck]

It's not a biggie with me, but you must be clear upfront because alot of providers will get through a session without cumming if they can. What frustrates me are the guys who are too fatigued to get or keep it up, and even further, the guys who assume I expect them to come, and waste alot of time trying to come, and simply can't. They jack and jack and jack, and ask me to kiss this or twist this or bite this, and nothing happens. They're just tired, not into me, or likely both. :-(

[+ Gar1eth]

Feel free to put this in the "I feel stupid for asking this" column as well...

 

Recently, I had an experience hiring a very well-reviewed guy who, when I indicated that I hoped to see him shoot, replied with something like "that's hard for me" (which communicated, gently but firmly, "that's not gonna happen"...

 

Something to consider- it might not have been that he had already shot a load or was wanting to save himself. In 12 years of hiring, I've come across guys who have different threshholds for being able to 'shoot'. Most of the guys I've been with have had better control than I have. I really think it is in many an inborn trait that I wish I had. Andrew Justice for one great (as well as handsome, sexy, and really,really large tallywacker) example seems to be able to delay or cum on command.

 

I'm better than I used to be. But still nowhere near able to delay my cuming to the extent that most escorts I've met have. But over the years, I have met some guys/escorts who carry this to the point of extremes. In fact a few of these 'takes-a-long-time-to-shoot-his-load-guys' have told me what a 'pain' it is for them that they can't cum more quickly. There is one guy- a bottom that I saw intermittently for over two years that I have never seen cum. He tells me that he doesn't cum very often, he usually is watching porn, and it takes him a long time. And it's not that he is flaccid during our meetings. He is totally erect. So if you run into someone saying that in the future, it might be the truth.

 

Gman

[+ RyanDean]

Understood.

 

I'm not speculating on the whys behind this gent's response, which was expressed in a way that felt kind and genuine (whatever his actual physiological situation). The situation, however, did clarify that this particular detail seems to be an important one for me (perhaps not unlike kissing is for you, Gman). Likewise, everyone's replies have clarified that I need to be forthright about that (both with myself and with the guy), and also aware that even then it can't be guaranteed.

[BryanKnight]

1) Based on my experiences and those of other escorts I've talked to about this subject, the answer is 'yes.' The reasons vary, but yes, it's not unusual to hold off on cumming.

2) For a first time encounter, it's not appropriate to discuss specifics (will you cum? Can I fuck you? Will you fuck me? etc) for legal reasons.

3) This is a tough one. There's no best way to go about it. Make it a mandatory requirement, you may get a no, or a yes with the intention of no. Escorts don't want to lose the deal.

 

You can ask, "What times of the day/week are normally quiet for you?"

On quiet days, the escort will not feel pressured to conserve energy.

 

You can also ask to meet them at the end of their shift. My coworkers and I feel more comfortable cumming at the end of the work shift when we are not pressured afterwards to perform.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Eugenio,

 

Glad you asked this question. You have received many great answers already but I would like to offer and entirely different point of view.

 

Yes, sure, choose a well reviewed escort with consistent reviews, communicate, let him know what's important for you, share your turn ons and so on...

 

What I really want to share with you is something that is a very well kept secret in the world of escorting, something that is seldom discussed and often forgotten. I might be lambasted for breaking the vow of secrecy around this but I think it is important to say it now: Escorts are people too. Even though most great escorts are very physically able, talented, know their bodies much better than the average person and show up prepared fresh and ready, escorts are still human beings with bodies that react in ways that are very similar to your own body. Like a well trained athlete an escort will be able to accommodate many of your requests, will be prepared and eager, and will have the energy to do it. Some physical reactions, however, are unpredictable and impossible to force.

 

A great escort will try to accommodate your requests. It is true; this is our job and we will try to book the session and then we will try to turn you into a regular client by providing an unforgettable experience. Sadly, and entirely unrelated to being tired or overworked, certain physical responses are just impossible to force. I am not talking about being hard, which is kind of a given. I am talking about ejaculation, body odour, urination or being able to bottom, to give some examples. (Yeah, those are some of the things that people request.) While a great escort knows how to prepare and is very capable of making these things happen, there will be instances in which the planets might just not align.

 

My advise is: accept the fact that he is a human being. Acknowledge his great attitude and his over all efforts to provide you with a fun, sexy, satisfying encounter. Remember you are paying him for the time he is spending with you and if you decide to hire him again know that he will do his best to keep you happy.

 

I, myself, love ejaculating. I do it as often as I can. I am a marathon fucker, though, and to take me to that happy place I need to be fucking for at least an hour and a half. Cumming after 20 minutes of play with me is kind of unlikely. It's possible but not likely. On the other hand when I have been fucking for four or five hours I cross that threshold into no cum land and while I can keep fucking forever reaching an orgasm is not likely either.

 

My ideal client is someone who is looking to meet with a passionate man and who is interested in having a deep, intense, intimate connection. My ideal client is one who knows what he wants and is willing to explore our bodies and allow the energy to take us where it will. In sessions like those the mutual energy always ends up taking us to wonderful places.

 

When I receive a call or an email from a potential client who is interested in a list of specific sex acts or for whom the presence of certain bodily fluids will determine the success of the session I right away let them know that we might not be a right match. While I love bringing my whole arsenal to the playing field I have to meet only with men who want to have an intimate human interaction over anything else.

 

Be direct. Tell your potential escort that for you to be satisfied you MUST see him ejaculate. Some will very gladly promise orgasms so meet those guys. You have to be aware that for some others this is not something that you can sell, negotiate or promise. If you find such an escort I think you would both be better off if you realized you are not a match and moved on.

 

What's the least obnoxious way to make such a "special order"?

 

It's not a restaurant. With an escort you don't make orders, don't give orders, don't place orders. With an escort you share your turn ons, you make requests, you make suggestions.

 

Only a robot can execute orders like these. If you are wanting to meet someone who will do things exactly as you want them when you want them, then don't be surprised if his performance is a little robotic.

 

If you want a real human being, reacting genuinely to you, sharing a true moment of intimacy and pleasure, then remember, accept and honour the fact that you are with a human being.

 

Either way I wish you only intensely fulfilling experiences in the future.

[+ RyanDean]

Thanks, Juan, for this thoughtful & thorough reply.

Please do not misunderstand my use of the term "special orders" as a gesture of disrespect, but simply as one way to cue that I (now) appreciate the importance of being communicative on this point. And, frankly, I'm not sure if it's a MUST but it is something I (now) realize that is somewhat important to me and I'm just trying to understand whether/how to proceed with that insight.

 

But your comment also makes me wonder...

The guy I just spent time with was a total sweetheart, an absolute dreamboat and really good at his job. No question/complaint about any of that... BUT, even though we got on fine, I'm not sure there was a lot of chemistry. Our encounter was entirely pleasant but not especially hot. So maybe I'm just pinning my post-play ambivalence on the ejaculation question, when it might have as much or more to do with our not finding chemistry.

[desertguy1954]

Juan,

 

That was a great response. It was very good to hear what you as the escort enjoy and look for when with a client. With the few escorts that I have been with that I consider fantastic our time together was much like you described. I do not like the experience to be a laundry list of what I like and what I want experience with you. I love for the passion to build. I want to bodies to be explored, lips kissing sucking, hands moving over each other. Finding a spot that just drives the other one to a point of no return.

I guess I should say is the only thing that I say I want is to bottom, but I want it be a great time in getting there. Now the only thing if hopefully I ever get to be with you is, I don't know if I could walk after an hour and half of your pounding away, but I would sure like to try. Also, if either one of us can cum, that would be great, but not really needed for me.

[Steven_Draker]

Please do not misunderstand my use of the term "special orders" as a gesture of disrespect, but simply as one way to cue that I (now) appreciate the importance of being communicative on this point.

 

Eugenio, you're fine here.

I didn't take offense at the term "special order" you used in your post. It certainly wasn't interpreted as a gesture of disrespect. I saw it as a "special request".

 

You can certainly place a special order or even order off the menu with me.

 

Cheers!

 

Steven ~

[rossthebosssf]

Most escorts won't cum for you unless you book a multi hour appointment, it's the end of the night or it's requested in advance. I usually book multi hour appointments, but even then I really don't care as long as I finished.

[Strafe13]

Okay, seriously, I need to hop on a flight to Vancouver right now. Juan is so dreamy... I understand the original poster's feeling, since when I first hired, it was important to me, as a bottom, that the escort came. Now, as I'm a bit older and wiser, it doesn't really matter if the escort comes, although it'd always be a welcome surprise. Usually, I have to explain to the pro why I never come, and assuage his ego that I enjoyed our experience. So, sometimes even the escorts might have some insecurities about the client not cumming.

 

Hey Eugenio,

 

Glad you asked this question. You have received many great answers already but I would like to offer and entirely different point of view.

 

Yes, sure, choose a well reviewed escort with consistent reviews, communicate, let him know what's important for you, share your turn ons and so on...

 

What I really want to share with you is something that is a very well kept secret in the world of escorting, something that is seldom discussed and often forgotten. I might be lambasted for breaking the vow of secrecy around this but I think it is important to say it now: Escorts are people too. Even though most great escorts are very physically able, talented, know their bodies much better than the average person and show up prepared fresh and ready, escorts are still human beings with bodies that react in ways that are very similar to your own body. Like a well trained athlete an escort will be able to accommodate many of your requests, will be prepared and eager, and will have the energy to do it. Some physical reactions, however, are unpredictable and impossible to force.

 

A great escort will try to accommodate your requests. It is true; this is our job and we will try to book the session and then we will try to turn you into a regular client by providing an unforgettable experience. Sadly, and entirely unrelated to being tired or overworked, certain physical responses are just impossible to force. I am not talking about being hard, which is kind of a given. I am talking about ejaculation, body odour, urination or being able to bottom, to give some examples. (Yeah, those are some of the things that people request.) While a great escort knows how to prepare and is very capable of making these things happen, there will be instances in which the planets might just not align.

 

My advise is: accept the fact that he is a human being. Acknowledge his great attitude and his over all efforts to provide you with a fun, sexy, satisfying encounter. Remember you are paying him for the time he is spending with you and if you decide to hire him again know that he will do his best to keep you happy.

 

I, myself, love ejaculating. I do it as often as I can. I am a marathon fucker, though, and to take me to that happy place I need to be fucking for at least an hour and a half. Cumming after 20 minutes of play with me is kind of unlikely. It's possible but not likely. On the other hand when I have been fucking for four or five hours I cross that threshold into no cum land and while I can keep fucking forever reaching an orgasm is not likely either.

 

My ideal client is someone who is looking to meet with a passionate man and who is interested in having a deep, intense, intimate connection. My ideal client is one who knows what he wants and is willing to explore our bodies and allow the energy to take us where it will. In sessions like those the mutual energy always ends up taking us to wonderful places.

 

When I receive a call or an email from a potential client who is interested in a list of specific sex acts or for whom the presence of certain bodily fluids will determine the success of the session I right away let them know that we might not be a right match. While I love bringing my whole arsenal to the playing field I have to meet only with men who want to have an intimate human interaction over anything else.

 

Be direct. Tell your potential escort that for you to be satisfied you MUST see him ejaculate. Some will very gladly promise orgasms so meet those guys. You have to be aware that for some others this is not something that you can sell, negotiate or promise. If you find such an escort I think you would both be better off if you realized you are not a match and moved on.

 

 

 

It's not a restaurant. With an escort you don't make orders, don't give orders, don't place orders. With an escort you share your turn ons, you make requests, you make suggestions.

 

Only a robot can execute orders like these. If you are wanting to meet someone who will do things exactly as you want them when you want them, then don't be surprised if his performance is a little robotic.

 

If you want a real human being, reacting genuinely to you, sharing a true moment of intimacy and pleasure, then remember, accept and honour the fact that you are with a human being.

 

Either way I wish you only intensely fulfilling experiences in the future.

[Diverdan]

Thanks Juan, for another wonderful and well thought out reply. As one who has enjoyed your company, but unfortunately not for a long time, I can second everything you have said in describing your approach to time spent with a client, and such great advise to Eugenio.

[bigvalboy]

Thanks Juan, for another wonderful and well thought out reply. As one who has enjoyed your company, but unfortunately not for a long time, I can second everything you have said in describing your approach to time spent with a client, and such great advise to Eugenio.

 

Absolutely Diverdan. I too have long admired Juan's posts. They are thoughful, articulate and informative. And he often shows compassion and understanding. I Much appreciate his contributions here.

[+ RyanDean]

Usually, I have to explain to the pro why I never come, and assuage his ego that I enjoyed our experience. So, sometimes even the escorts might have some insecurities about the client not cumming.

 

What do you say, Strafe13? (In my very limited experience, I too have found that the fact that I don't need/want to cum myself has seemed to "come" as a surprise to the guys I've hired.)

 

This whole conversation has helped me understand that "to cum or not to cum" was likely not actually the question stirred by my recent encounter. Rather it was probably something much more to do with the fact that we had a lovely and quite pleasant (though not especially electric) connection. I'm now wondering whether I might have fixated on his not cumming precisely because we hit it off so nicely, and everything else was so on point, but still the session left me feeling a bit underwhelmed. I started this thread because I wanted to tap into the collective wisdom of the board to help me in communicating my own needs when hiring, and -- though I'm not sure I'm much closer to that -- I do feel I've gotten some insight into my own peculiar desires. So, thanks!

[tom1980]

In my experience, about half the escorts I hire cum during a session. In the best/most memorable experiences I've had, the escort usually does have an orgasm (occasionally 2). There was a recent thread about the boyfriend experience, and I've found that the escorts who deliver that usually cum with their clients. For me, part of being intimate with a significant other is sharing the mutual pleasure of orgasm. It's also interesting that I've never asked those guys to cum; they just do it naturally as part of the experience. So if having the other guy cum is important to you, I'd suggest looking for the escorts who are well known for offering the BFE.

[Juan Vancouver]

This whole conversation has helped me understand that "to cum or not to cum" was likely not actually the question stirred by my recent encounter. Rather it was probably something much more to do with the fact that we had a lovely and quite pleasant (though not especially electric) connection. I'm now wondering whether I might have fixated on his not cumming precisely because we hit it off so nicely, and everything else was so on point, but still the session left me feeling a bit underwhelmed. I started this thread because I wanted to tap into the collective wisdom of the board to help me in communicating my own needs when hiring, and -- though I'm not sure I'm much closer to that -- I do feel I've gotten some insight into my own peculiar desires. So, thanks!

 

It's great to read that coming here and sharing your experience with us has given you the chance to reflect on what actually happened. It would seem to me you are right on target. It is also possible that you really, really like watching a guy cum, which is perfectly fine. A lot of people actually prefer the escort doesn't cum, some couldn't give a rat's ass and for some others it is very important. Learn about yourself and then communicate your fantasies clearly to your escort.

 

If having the other guy cum is important to you, I'd suggest looking for the escorts who are well known for offering the BFE.

 

I would disagree Tom. BFE is a vague term that means entirely different things for every person that uses it. You would be surprised by the answers I have gotten whenever I ask people what is it that they mean by it.

 

If I really, really like eating baguettes, cheese and wine and I go to a restaurant I don't ask for the French Dinner. I would ask for baguettes, cheese and wine. That is the only way to make sure I am communicating clearly and leave no room for interpretation. I know I just wrote that with an escort you don't place orders, as if it were a restaurant, I am just using this example for clarity.

 

If what you really need to have in an experience is ejaculation, let your escort know specifically that this really turns you on and that you really, really would love to experience that. Happily you will find many great escorts -Like Steven- who will have no problem committing to providing that for you. Most will do everything in their power to make it happen. We all want to keep you happy. There's a perfect match for all of us, the trick is to communicate clearly, openly and kindly to make sure we find such a man.

 

And Eugenio, just wanted to clarify that nothing on your post offended me in any way. I understood where you were coming from and that is why I allowed my post to be a little tongue in cheek. As for "making a special order" I think I sensed on your post that there was something that felt uncomfortable about it, something that felt obnoxious, which is why I suggested trying to look for a different perspective, trying to share your desires, open up about your fantasies and making suggestions as opposed to placing a special order.

 

We have dealt with very emotional and delicate situations every day of our professional lives. Except for a very few of us, it is very difficult to offend a good escort. We have heard it all, seen it all, done it almost all... a few times... and liked it! This is about you, so that you can find that comfortable place in which you can share your desires without feeling weird.

 

Big hug to you!

[Frankly Rich]

I like to see the escort cum too. If he works in a sauna, I may not insist since I know he has to continually get hard. Thankfully, young guys can get hard easily in most cases. I brought a hot stud home from the Gaiety once, and he got so excited by what we were doing, that he came a gusher...but too early! He told me not to worry, he'd cum again at the right time, and boy, did he. He then went back to the Gaiety where he could get hard for each dance that called for it. Ah, to be 21.

[SteveEscort]

I cum in maybe 1 in every 10 appointments. If a guy mentions it at the beginning of the appointment, I am cool with it. If he mentions in within the last 10 minutes, he's asking the impossible.

 

I had one such guy whisper it on an appointment last week, when he over his agreed time (I don't clockwatch but I am not going to cum after he's a good 20 minutes over time) and he was a little disappointed.

 

Being able to cum for a client isn't a problem but it needs to be discussed. I also know which regular guys expect and which ones don't care less.

 

It's rare I do tours but when I do, I don't offer "top services". One ejaculation can put me out of action for 3-4 hours especially if the next guy wants me to top and I've a hotel, travel costs and the cost of living to cover for a few days.

 

If a guy insists he wants to see me and wants me to ejactulate and is cool with time, I ask that he come later in the evening. That way I am unlikely to be seeing anyone else afterwards.

[wisconsinguy]

My hope is that my gentleman has as much enjoyment out of a session as I do. In answering the question, "What do you like?" it goes in both directions. Since I have only been engaged in extended sessions, perhaps that makes it easier to explore likes and dislikes with each other. I find it very sensual to "satisfy" the needs, wants, and desires of the person I am with.

[Frankly Rich]

As an escort who is 66, going on 67 soon, I need advance notice that the client expects me to cum. Then, I see my doc, get shots of testosterone and Viagra, and refrain from sex for three weeks in advance of the session. The client must book at least three hours- one for me to get naked, one for me to do my stretches, and one for the sex. I always warn them that I'm a dribbler at my age, but they keep coming back for more. Who knew?

[instudiocity]

As an escort who is 66, going on 67 soon, I need advance notice that the client expects me to cum. Then, I see my doc, get shots of testosterone and Viagra, and refrain from sex for three weeks in advance of the session. The client must book at least three hours- one for me to get naked, one for me to do my stretches, and one for the sex. I always warn them that I'm a dribbler at my age, but they keep coming back for more. Who knew?

In my profession, I billed $150/hour in my 20's, $350/hr in my 30's, $550/hr in my 40's and $700/hr in my 50's.

 

By my example, your escorting in your 7th Decade must mean you're getting $1,000-$1,200/hr. Of course, you would need that much per hour to pay for the doctor visits and your shots. And the interminable wait between appointments.

 

But seriously, when I'm with my young men, the greatest joy is in the heat of the action is saying, "You don't need to cum for me." and the escort says, "Oh, hell yes, I'm gonna bust!"