What makes one a 'loser'???

[+ glutes]

Having dinner with friends who never met the 'ex', they asked me to describe him. After about 45 seconds of my description, they both fashioned a "L" with there fingers on there foreheads and screamed laughing LOSER!!

What critierion makes one a loser fellow HooVillagers???

[GRoca]

Hi

 

What I'm about to describe is just MY opinion: For me...a "LOSER" is someone who is self-centered and an opportunist who sponges and mooches off others. This type does not try to find a job... and is always making stupid excuses to WHY he/she did not find a job. This person has NO credit, or BAD credit and usually NOT responsible enough to pay their own rent...get a phone or cell phone in their own name ...can't ever buy a car or home...etc. Sometimes, but not always this person might have a drinking problem or is a substance abuser (including steroid abuse).

This person does not have good personal hygiene and is very inconsiderate of other's time...ALWAYS showing up over an hourlate, and of course with excuses for WHY they are late. Eventually, you will catch this person in a lie. How do I know? Unfortunately, I've met quite a few...LOSERS.

 

:-(

[VaHawk]

Hey are we hanging out in the same circles? That was a pretty darn good description, except I don't agree 100% about the hygiene part. A lot of LOSERS are so self-centered that they are always up on the latest fashions and self-grooming takes up a whole lot of their time.

 

In addition, I would add that everything is centered around "I". They shunt aside the other's concerns - don't think about them twice - always back to "I".

 

Losers always take more than they give and are totally clueless in the sense that you should do the most for them for the minimum amount of effort in return. The iniquity in that is a totally foreign concept to them. There is no "ours", it's always "I bought this so it's all mine" and "you bought that for us both, so 1/2 is mine and if you want it you owe me for my half".

[Trixie]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with the part about not buying a car or house. I am auto- deficient, as well as a renter, and I know that many of my friends and coworkers regard me with a touch of something akin to bewildered sympathy. As if I'm a little tetched in the head for not desiring these things, just a little "special". It doesn't matter that I have very good, well-thought-out reasons for not wanting a car or a house at this point in my life. (ie; I'm a single gay man with no family who doesn't really need such things, I don't want to spend a lifetime in debt to obtain such things, and the money i make I'd rather use for things that really appeal to me, such as travel. The money I am setting aside in my 401K will buy me a rather nice house in Mexico or Ecuador when I retire.)

But, of course, people listen to my rationale with a guarded look in their eyes that says "There there, honey... you don't have to explain... YA BIG LOSER!"

La Trixie

[+ deej]

>What critierion makes one a loser fellow HooVillagers???

 

Asking for the money up front is a front-runner. :+

[+ glutes]

>>What critierion makes one a loser fellow HooVillagers???

>

>Asking for the money up front is a front-runner. :+

 

Well yes Deej, and we can include asking for a international money transfer after the fee is paid also, no??

[+ deej]

>Unfortunately, I have to agree with the part about not buying

>a car or house. I am auto- deficient, as well as a renter,

>and I know that many of my friends and coworkers regard me

>with a touch of something akin to bewildered sympathy.

 

Can we differentiate between can't and won't?

 

I was auto-impaired, intentionally, for 20 years. Of course, during those years I was living in cities with fabulous transit systems and lousy parking facilities. And I was traveling on business most of the time anyway so the car would spend most of its time in airport parking facilities.

 

Once an auto became a necessity I could and did acquire one.

 

I'm also a renter, by choice (let someone ELSE worry about mowing the grass or fixing the plumbing!), but I'm rethinking it. I find myself in an income bracket that makes buying a home almost a self-defense move.

[+ deej]

 

Hey, you asked what makes a loser.... :*

[GRoca]

Hi Guys

 

Just to clarify myself in my description of a "loser": In my earlier post when I wrote, " ...can't ever buy a car or house."... I meant

that such a person with no credit or lousy credit would NEVER be able to own such things. Most likely this kind of person ("loser")wouldn't have the ambition to want to live a better quality of life,anyway. I did NOT mean that anyone who does not own a car or a house qualifies themself as a "loser". As a few of you had mentioned...some of you simply don't feel the need to own a car or home at this point in your life. It's nice to know that you can, if you really wanted to, right?

And those who can't but are honest, responsible, and hard workers will

get there one day.

 

I also LOVED what Vahawk added in what his idea of a "loser" is.

[Guest JON1265]

Well, many of the things mentioned were external things that a good person might not be able to help. I know quite a few pwople who have had money problems or such where they damaged their credit - and it forced them to do things they did not plan on. Many people are also born into circumstances that they cannot help - and never learn the proper way to handle money. All these things are meaningless to me if the person has a kind and gentle soul. But, sadly, we tend to judge people in this world by how much they earn, what they drive, and where they live.

 

My own criteria is more of an internal look at people. How they behave, treat other people, treat animals, do they discriminate, are they bigoted, or do they ust behave nasty as a way of life.

 

I am sure there are many people who would consider many of the people on here "losers" for hanging out on a message board that reviews escorts or for that matter - people who hire them.

 

I am sure many people would consider overweight people losers. And I have no doubt many of us are on here.

 

To me - to label someone a loser is a way of making the person doing the labeling feel better about themselves.

 

There is a lot more to this rough and cruel world than if someone can get a bank loan.

 

jmtc

Jon

[Michael]

Anyone who, never having met someone, after listening to 45 seconds of a description of that person,

fashions an "L" with their fingers on thir forehead and screams "LOSER" is definitely a real big loser.

[VaHawk]

Well, to use a trite cliche, LIGHTEN UP. Are you gay?

 

The scene as posted sounds like a typical encounter among gay friends who know each other and each other's history and experiences well. In those cases, you really don't need a whole lot of words exchanged to get the full description and meaning. It only takes a gesture or two and very few words

[VaHawk]

Thanks, man. I really don't think anyone misunderstood your "can't" for "don't" as far as cars and houses go and if they did then they really didn't read your words.

 

LOL, my thoughts are based only on my own experiences and are not meant as a definitive answer. It seems like I've met more than my alloted share of LOSERS, so someone must be getting my due share of WINNERS.

 

Did you ever notice that a LOSER will often change lovers/residences/employers? Take everything he can from that group and when they realize they are being used, he moves on to a whole new group, without ever acknowledging the old group or honoring his commitments to the old group?

[GRoca]

Hey VaHawk

 

>LOL, my thoughts are based only on my own experiences and are

>not meant as a definitive answer.

 

 

Same for me! Why do some people feel the need to make a major issue over every little thing?? I thought someone posed a question?? Here-Here on telling that poster to "lighten" up.

 

 

>Did you ever notice that a LOSER will often change

>lovers/residences/employers? Take everything he can from that

>group and when they realize they are being used, he moves on

>to a whole new group, without ever acknowledging the old group

>or honoring his commitments to the old group?

 

DAMN! You sure got them (LOSERS) down, VaHawk. You sure do have a way with words! Question: Did these LOSERS go from you...to me...or me...to you?

 

Here's to our DUE share of winners!

 

GRoca

[Trixie]

GRoca, I hope I didn't sound too testy in my post! I know you were not being accusatory in your assessments. But, whether you intended it or not, your words did ring true in reflecting the general American perception of those of us who go through life NOT pursuing the American middle class dream. A house and a car are wonderful luxury items, to be sure. And I would even say that in our current culture, they have moved beyond "luxury" and into the realm of necessity. Unless one lives in a "large city with fab public transportation" as another poster said (was it Deej?), life has been made unreasonably difficult if one doesn't own a car in the US.

I have travelled to many countries all over the world, and have seen people living on so, so, so MUCH less than the bare minimum we take for granted here. People living without things such as plumbing, and electricity, and daily food. It's not that they don't work hard all their lives (if there's work available) or that they don't want these luxuries. But, as the world stands now, they will never, ever be able to achieve them. These people (probably 3/4 of the world's population) are not losers. They are survivors. Their lives make the reality tv show look like a farce.

The real kick in the butt is that they all look at the US, (or, the West in general)and our economic standard here, as inspiration, and hope to achieve the same thing some day. But right now, those of us in the West are using up 2/3 of the world's resources to support the lifestyle of less than 1/4 of the world's population. (Yes, I have a subscription to National Geographic). One can fail pre-algebra, as I did, and still figure out that in order for the "rest" of the world to have more, we here in the West are going to have to somehow find a way to make do with less. How gracious will we be about that?

I think about that every time I hear someone complain about how much it costs to fill the tank of their SUV, or how far away they have to park at Costco. And every time I rent an escort.

Sigh... I've gotten so far off track of this thread. I do apologize, but this is a subject close to my heart.

What makes a loser... hmmm... VaHawk set some good examples...

Oh dear, I've broken a nail! I really must skeedaddle! G, I simply adore your sister Almond. I could just eat her up! Ok, bye! Call me!

Trix

[GRoca]

Hi Trixie

 

You have excellent points and I even agree with what your point of view. I never post a message on these boards with the intention to start a debate or riot. In case anyone does not understand the point of what I was trying to make ( with the exception of VaHawk, of course...THANK YOU) ...is that a LOSER can't put anything in his/her name. In Manhattan, one can not rent an apartment without

a good credit history. One can have a year's rent in cash, but

without good credit...you can't rent. This is why a LOSER would mooch or free-load off a kind person. It's about being a responsible human being....showing that one can be trusted. Again, I was just answering the question based on my own opinion and based from past experiences. I had NO intentions of offending anyone, or striking any nerves. Normally, I don't add my two-cents, but I thought it was a fun post to contribute to.

Thanks Glutes ,VaHawk, Trixie.

[Samai139]

I've been away for a couple of days but when I read the "loser" thread I had to read all the responses. It's amazing to me the variety of things that were brought up by those who responded. I'm curious: was the original purpose of the posting to find out a generic definition of "loser?" If it was meant to be more specific, why didn't you just ask the two guys who formed the "L" with their hands and see what they said? They might also consider you a loser, in which case I'd avoid them. Those of US who have to label people with something are pretty sad---I do it and usually end up regretting it--as GRoca can tell you. I make a generic comment about "jocks" and she gently and intelligently corrected me, and I appreciated it. Are "winners" those who manage to go through life amassing all the "toys" and status symbols that are considered important by......who??? Who determines who WINS?

I loved the poster, forgot your screen name, sorry, who felt that surviving the life you are born into makes many winners, even though looking at their lives they "have" nearly nothing. To many in the non-industrial world, having healthy children makes them "winners" and in their eyes all of us who never experience that are doomed to be "losers." I don't subscribe to that, but I can understand where they are coming from and appreciate their views. Losers are everywhere, just as selfish, ego-centered people are everywhere. The best we can do is to spend as little time and emotion on them as possible. Have I met my share? Sure. And I suspect some people consdier their experience with ME in the same light.

[+ Charlie]

IMHO, being a loser has nothing to do with possessions and everything to do with accomplishments and attitudes. A loser can't do anything useful or interesting (mix a martini, write a poem, soothe a sick child, fix a frozen computer, restructure a company, suck cock, etc., etc.) very well, and usually doesn't even realize it. He also doesn't try to improve, and blames someone else for his failures. The worst kind of loser tries to win by beating--or beating up on--others. What I can never understand is why anyone would be attracted to such a person in the first place (unless, of course, he has an adorable love trail leading to a ten inch cock).

[catnip]

>>To me - to label someone a loser is a way of making the person

>doing the labeling feel better about themselves.

>

>There is a lot more to this rough and cruel world than if

>someone can get a bank loan. >

 

AMEN! Very well put.

 

This reminds me of the Emily Dickinsons poem kids read in high school. Just change "nobody" to "a loser" and "somebody" to " a winner," and it kind of works (unless your a meter queen).

 

I ’M nobody! Who are you?

Are you nobody, too?

Then there ’s a pair of us—don’t tell!

They ’d banish us, you know.

 

How dreary to be somebody!

How public, like a frog

To tell your name the livelong day

To an admiring bog!

 

>

>

[Trixie]

RE: What makes one Emily Dickenson?

 

Catnip, thank you, what an elegant post! I adore Emily!

It serves to remind me how much more good poetry (and art in general) can reveal about a subject than arch tirades such as the one I subjected poor GRoca to.

La Trix

[bigjake8]

I couldnt agree with this more. In fact, most of the people that I would think of as "losers" (not that I appreciate such judgmental terms) have more money and success than they know what to do with.

 

In fact, thats what would make them losers to me. Someone who has spent so much time chasing "things" to fill something that missing, and never really getting it. Never really understanding things that are important, like a fleeting moment, or love (real love, not ownership of a person).

 

If you can sit on your couch with your partner of X amount of years, and your dog and cat, and have the realization that everything that really matters is sitting right there with you, you are my hero. Doesnt matter what you've done (or havent done) your life, what you own, or what you look like.

 

As for your friends, they just sound like a couple of young gay kids who dont know anything about life or love or loss yet.

 

 

>IMHO, being a loser has nothing to do with possessions and

>everything to do with accomplishments and attitudes. A loser

>can't do anything useful or interesting (mix a martini, write

>a poem, soothe a sick child, fix a frozen computer,

>restructure a company, suck cock, etc., etc.) very well, and

>usually doesn't even realize it. He also doesn't try to

>improve, and blames someone else for his failures. The worst

>kind of loser tries to win by beating--or beating up

>on--others. What I can never understand is why anyone would be

>attracted to such a person in the first place (unless, of

>course, he has an adorable love trail leading to a ten inch

>cock).

[trilingual]

>I am auto- deficient, as well as a renter,

>and I know that many of my friends and coworkers regard me

>with a touch of something akin to bewildered sympathy. As if

>I'm a little tetched in the head for not desiring these

>things, just a little "special". It doesn't matter that I

>have very good, well-thought-out reasons for not wanting a car

>or a house at this point in my life.

 

Hey Trix,

 

I'm in exactly the same position. I've rented ever since I moved to San Francisco back in the Pleistocene, and never wanted to own a car. The savings got plowed into trips to fascinating places, opera and symphony subscriptions, a vast book and CD collection, my IRA and 401(k) accounts, etc.

 

Now I've retired and am going to be dividing my time commuting between a very nice lifestyle in the amazingly inexpensive Midwest (where I also need to spend time with aging parents) and in my spacious apartment in an Art Deco building in Copacabana, three blocks from the beach. I'm sure some of my co-workers and friends thought I was crazy or a "loser" for not taking the stereotypical middle-class American route, but when they hear that I'm REALLY going to be living out my dream in Rio they just go green from envy! So who are the losers? One thing's for sure, we certainly aren't. We're among the FABULOUS!

 

Of course, you and I DID think out our choices and have solid reasons for our decisions, which is a major difference between us and losers. Those are the people who never thought at all about their lives, their futures, their relationships, etc. and just lived for themselves, the moment, and the latest sensation. That's a whole other kettle of fish (and, after a while, a rather rank one at that)!

[+ glutes]

After recent events here on the MC, I can profile one loser:

 

Sit at home on Saturday night in the southern part of a mid-Western state eating a Value Meal complaining that he is lonely, then contemplate what under-aged boy will rim his fat ass!

[JT Brooklyn]

glutes..Very Good! LOL :P

[+ glutes]

A loser?

 

-Supporting & defending a disgraced escort

-Being a aviation 'buff' whilst in real life being a mear LSG food trolley shlep

-Wanting to fly in a questionable aircraft wherein the last two crashes neither of the black boxes have been retrieved (historic in it own right, even TWA Flight 800s' was recovered)

-Suggesting that the SF tiger mauling victims have not gotten 'proper treatment' after multiple drug and driving arrests, and $900K