Writing & Reading Escort Reviews

[Will]

There are reviews and there are reviews. Today I happened to look at some on Men4RentNow.com, and was surprised and disappointed to see that a "review" is really just a list of questions, most of which could be answered with "yes" or "no." I've always thought that the review of an escort should be like a book or movie review, that it should give me a sense of a lived experience and not simply a string of facts.

 

When you decide to write a review, what do you intend your readers to learn about your experience? Do you think it's enough just to describe in general terms what happened, or do you want to try to convey something of what was special about it?

 

Similarly, what do you look for when you read a review? Do want to know only whether or not the escort lived up to his advertised promises? Do you want to know what the reviewer/client is like? Are you looking for information beyond the merely descriptive?

 

I ask, because I don't write all that many reviews, and when I do, I work hard at it. I want to convey something of the background that led up to the appointment, because they don't all happen the same way; I want to characterize the tone of the experience, because not everybody is interested in the same things; and -- most of all -- I want to try to give a sense of what the escort is like, because a list of stats and a bunch of pictures don't tell me much about a person.

 

But there are probably lots of different formats that are equally useful. I'd be interested to know your opinions.

[+ Axiom2001]

I have written a few reviews of escorts during the past three years, and when I have written one-- I have wanted the reader to relive my experience vicariously. I have done more than a mere listing; I've principally described the escorts and their general demeanor, their professionalism, their sexual adeptness, and the time that I have spent with them. My reviews have definitely not been a mere listing which makes for mundane reading.

 

I have always enjoyed reading reviews that have been written with a style, very descriptively that vividly recapitulates the encounter of the client with the escort.

[tedbear]

Re-reading my own reviews always seems to result in an inability to stand up in front of others until Mr. Happy settles down. Occassionally a shower is called for afterwards. I guess that says about all I need to regarding just how much I discuss in one of my reviews! }(

[Southern Blue Suicide]

When hiring, I try to cut through all the obnoxious sales adjectives and professional photos to see who can actually put out a statement about themselves--not I'm hot or I'm the best. That's generally bullshit and everyone uses it. The guy has to be able to put together a coherent email or he's eliminated from consideration. Strippers and thongs are total turnoffs for me since I see all that as unmasculine. The same goes for queens who try to pull off that tough Titan Video shit.

 

Realistic portrayal is what I'm after when writing. I'm not going to fall in love. I just want a guy to do what he says he'll do without being mechanical, a bad ass or trying to just get through it as quickly as possible.

 

It's very easy to determine whether or not the escort actually wanted to be with me or if they are just going through the motions.

 

I won't tolerate ANY escort that shows up on crystal meth. I'm not paying to support a jacked up whore.

 

-mc-

[+ Charlie]

When I read a review, I usually skip over most of the "facts" at the beginning and go straight to the description of the experience. I know from trying to submit reviews how limiting the either/or or fill in the blank questions are, and how little they tell me about what I really want to know: what was the interaction like? Not only what the escort did, but what was his attitude toward what he did (or didn't do)? How did he make the client feel? Why would the client hire/not hire him again? I also need to hear the reviewer's voice, which can only come through in the narrative, so I can form my own picture of what happened. If all the review says is that "he is gorgeous, he's a great guy, we had a good time," I feel like I've been invited to dinner and then been served take-out from McDonalds.

[+ Axiom2001]

Will's question related to what one writes as well as reads in reviews, not what escorts themselves put out there in writing!

[+ Axiom2001]

I second the preceding remarks. Last year I read a really hot review which involved a threesome in New York; it was so descriptive that my nips began to stir; I produced an intense boner, and said to myself, I have to see those men when I get to the "Big Apple" although I'm not into S/M but am willing to try light stuff if it's among the escorts mentioned in this particular review and me... So, torrid, descriptive reviews peak my libido and interest to such a point that I want to be a participant with that escort who has been reviewed.

 

When a writer states that he will not reveal what went on between him an an escort, I find that to be the shits: how many folks on this board know the writers?

[HooBoy]

I am putting together a list of phrases that I think, when used in a review, will simply be deleted. Reviews by people who make no effort whatsoever to be informative or interesting already have their "review" discarded with no comment.

 

Here are some of the clichés that are on the top of my list --- SO FAR. Please feel free to add to it.

 

"I don't want to go into detail..."

 

"What happened is between us..."

 

"His picture doesn't do him justice..."

 

"He is very accommodating..." (Just what the heck is that, anyway?)

 

"What can I say...?"

 

"He will be the best (fill in the blank) you've ever had..." (How does this person know what the heck I want or what makes me happy?)

 

Anything that smacks of something written by an ad agency.

 

Perhaps I can post a succinct set of suggestions on what to include in the review might help, not that people would actually bother to read it, much less adhere to it. If I can just figure out how to put the suggestions in pictorial form...

 

;-) ;-)

[alanalt]

>Perhaps I can post a succinct set of suggestions on what to

>include in the review might help, not that people would

>actually bother to read it, much less adhere to it. If I can

>just figure out how to put the suggestions in pictorial

>form...

>

>;-) ;-)

>

Face it, Hoo, even if you figured something like that out, they(/we)'d still ignore it!

 

When making a decision to hire, I'm rarely influenced by a single review. Going over an aggregate of reviews, I look for the following:

- attitude to the customer (friendly, relates well to different personalities, doesn't treat the customer as an ATM, etc.)

- attitude towards sex (open-minded, versatile, respects the client's limits, etc.)

- companionship (since I like to go for longer appointments, this is very much a factor as I'm looking for someone who is not only able, but willing, to carry on extended conversations -- okay, is willing to listen to me talk at length! }( )

- personality (self-confident without being arrogant or pushy)

 

So naturally, when I write a review, those are the sort of things I tend to include, because they're what matter to me. Quite honestly, I often get as much insight from how an escort handled his initial contact with the client (i.e. response to e-mail was prompt and friendly) as from a long and steamy description of who did what to whom, and how it felt, etc. Also, what the client chooses to write about can often be as revealing as what he actually says...

 

That's why I love this site and why it's infinitely superior to anything else that's attempting to rival it. A written review (and yes, I've certainly 'agonized' over what to write/include, how detailed to get, etc.) is so much better than rating out of 4-5 'stars' or answering a few questions with 'yes', 'no' or 'maybe'

 

Thanks Hoo!

 

[+ Lucky]

RE: Writing Reviews & Eating Potato Chips

 

How about "He's all that and a bag of potato chips?" Although it is a cute phrase it didn't say much, and neither did the review. This reviewer usually gives much more detail so I cannot imagine what happened here. Maybe there were only two chips in the bag.