I can't take it anymore. I'm just tired of talking about the same thing over and over

[gallahadesquire]

Joey: I hear you. I understand.. I think you need to ask yourself why you are doing something you don't like. Dentists have to deal with people who don't take their advice about tooth care. Doctors have to deal with diabetics who continue to load up on sugar. Teachers have to deal with students who don't do their homework. Plumbers have to deal with people who flush the most godawful crap down their drains. It's part of life. If you can't or don't want to deal with the negativities in your profession, then change jobs. I know a woman who was a terrible elementary teacher who changed jobs and was a brilliant banker. But to get there she had to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't do well what she initially wanted to do. That was hard. My advice to you is either accept the reality of your work and manage it so that it works for you and for your clients, so that all, including you, go away from their time with you with a smile and a lighter step, or do something else. The last thing I want from an escort is attitude. I want him smiling and glad to see me and focused on making me happy. Escorting is more than three parts show biz, after all. You will get from it what you give it. And the contact work, as frustratng as it can be, is a big part -- maybe the biggest part -- of your work, because that is how people form their impressions of you.

 

To the poster above who put down fat/old people: Well, someday I hope you too may find yourself on the other side of middle age. The body is not always a cooperative instrument. Get a grip on reality. Who are the people who want escorts, after all, and why? Maybe its because God did not give them the body they want, or the ruthless self discipline to achieve physical perfection when it has become difficult to do so. They (we) are the market here guys! Get real. And have some compassion.

 

Speaking of which, Joey. It is no shameful thing to discover that you need to change paths in life. More power to you if that is what you decide. I think we all want the best for you and all the other brave lads who put themselves out for us.

 

+1. that's all that I can say. Well done, MgMstr4u

[+ Gar1eth]

He tried that but he wasn't successful at disguising himself. Surely you remember "Mocha". It was like stereo!

 

Joey posted under an alias named Mocha?

 

Gman

[whipped guy]

Dentists have to deal with people who don't take their advice about tooth care... It's part of life...

 

+1. that's all that I can say. Well done, MgMstr4u

 

And Joey thinks that he is the only one out there that has a job that's "like pulling teeth"!!! Well that's life!

 

In any event, BgMstr4u said it a bit differently and perhaps a bit more clearly, but that's more or less what I was trying to get across as well...

[Guest Starbuck]

Joey ... I think you need to ask yourself why you are doing something you don't like ... It is no shameful thing to discover that you need to change paths in life. More power to you if that is what you decide.

 

I don't think anyone is going to respond to this thread with a better balance of reality and compassion than BgMstr4u. I'll just add that I was disappointed to see the original post--and to see it close on the heels of the other thread slamming folks from Ohio and Indiana.

 

Joey, we exchanged a few messages within the last couple of weeks--I complimented you on your new website; we talked about traveling in the New England states--and hopefully you will trust from those conversations that I am not here to dump on you. I just wish--for your own sake--that you would give more thought to what you say out loud on the forum. When a display of negativity gets too big, when it sounds like ranting, when you think out loud about retirement before making any actual decision about it, you are alienating people here who might have been your next clients.

 

Whatever you decide about your future, I'll be wishing the best for you.

[down_to_business]

For what it is worth, I hate my job too, but I am pretty well stuck. I don't want to be an escort, but I also don't want to do a lot of other things (like a dentist, a butcher, a garbage man, or a cop). Still, in general, you will probably be happier in life if you chose a career that you really enjoy doing. You might have to sacrifice material things in order to make that work but sometimes happiness and sanity are more important long term. Only you can decide what is best for you. If I had it to do all over again, I would have definitely chosen a different career, myself.

[Glenn1441]

To the poster above who put down fat/old people: Well, someday I hope you too may find yourself on the other side of middle age. The body is not always a cooperative instrument. Get a grip on reality. Who are the people who want escorts, after all, and why? Maybe its because God did not give them the body they want, or the ruthless self discipline to achieve physical perfection when it has become difficult to do so. They (we) are the market here guys! Get real. And have some compassion.

 

An on-the-money response to a thread if there ever was one. But I'd like to add to MgMstr4u's comment regarding the forum member who included in his response the derogatory statement about clients being old and fat... We don't have statistics regarding the escort-client biz to refer to, but I do know from my own experience hiring escorts that all sorts of guys, and couples, etc., hire escorts -- and for reasons that are as particular as the individuals involved. The idea that all clients of gay male escorts are unattractive, old, out-of-shape men who can not get laid otherwise is just not true.

[BgMstr4u]

Of course you're right, Glenn. I wrote what I wrote late at night, in the heat of the moment. I didn't intend to cover every base.

[BallerBoy]

To those of you who selectively focused on only 'parts' of my previous comments; let me say that I was attempting to point out the crap most male escorts have to contend with while trying to make a living. And yes, out-of-shape elderly men are included in that equation. If you want to be lied to, or mislead about reality, then maybe online forums isn't the place for you. Being old and/or fat is a fact of life. To take offense to that reality says a lot more about you than my (perceived) lack of tact or sensibility.

 

I didn't mean to disparage anyone.

[AdamSmith]

I just wish--for your own sake--that you would give more thought to what you say out loud on the forum. When a display of negativity gets too big, when it sounds like ranting, when you think out loud about retirement before making any actual decision about it, you are alienating people here who might have been your next clients.

 

BgMstr4u's post among others put the deep strategic questions. On your way to answering them, I'd second this tactical advice from Starbuck.

 

When I happen to be in a business setting with my colleagues/competitors, we indulge the usual amount of griping among ourselves about the irritations and insults built into our profession. Sometimes we even seek or share useful advice. But we make damned sure to do this way out of earshot of any current or potential customers.

 

And if any of us were to go on LinkedIn and vent such thoughts in front of one and all -- customers, prospects, the wide world -- that person would not have a business tomorrow.

[Glenn1441]

So again, out-of-shape elderly men are part of the "crap" an escort must contend with while "trying to make a living." As has been discussed in these forums plenty of times: The most successful escorts -- those who actually can and do make a living from it -- can find a genuine sexual vibe or connection with just about any man, regardless of race, age, body type, etc. And those escorts, many participating in these forums, clearly do not consider such men part of the "crap" of escorting. The very fact that you make the reference should stand as clear evidence to Mr. Bryant that he should indeed leave the business.

 

To those of you who selectively focused on only 'parts' of my previous comments; let me say that I was attempting to point out the crap most male escorts have to contend with while trying to make a living. And yes, out-of-shape elderly men are included in that equation. If you want to be lied to, or mislead about reality, then maybe online forums isn't the place for you. Being old and/or fat is a fact of life. To take offense to that reality says a lot more about you than my (perceived) lack of tact or sensibility.

 

I didn't mean to disparage anyone.

[Steven_Draker]

I was attempting to point out the crap most male escorts have to contend with while trying to make a living.

 

Please do not make statements in the name of all or most male escorts.

[Nvr2Thick]

Sup Joey, unlike some of the other sanctimonious replies you've gotten to this thread, I personally want to thank you for sharing your frustrations in this public forum. It allows people like myself and others to get a glimpse of what goes on in the "real world" of male escorts. It's often not very glamorous nor fulfilling, but with the right mix of clients and situations, it can be what you make of it. I just visited your site and I'm very impressed with the level of professionalism and effort you've placed into your work (and you're very sexy btw ). I wish you were near my city. Your professionalism would be both appreciated and rewarded.

 

As for those criticizing Joey's "attitude". Let me suggest that ALL the proper attitude in the world will not end the frustrations of dealing with a client's 1. Cancellations 2. Poor hygiene 3. Time wasting 4. No shows 5. Fat/Old attractive bodies.

 

I would never question an escort's commitment after he's clearly shown his willingness to put up with the things that many of you won't!

 

You've missed the boat. Joey's complaining about (among other things) items 1, 3, and 4 from your list. By piling on and embellishing with the items 2 and 5 you aren't doing Joey any favors.

 

Regarding professionalism, Joey's frequent rants about the business are starting to put that into question; especially when he blames his client base for his problems rather than accepting what goes on in the "real world". And this thread and others illustrate an increasing UNwillingness to put up with things.

 

Everyone understands the downsides of escorting. Clients want an escort who makes it seem fun. An escort who develops contempt for his overall client base is about as exciting (and professional) as any other performer who hates his or her audience.

[Glenn1441]

+10

 

Please do not make statements in the name of all or most male escorts.[/color]

[Glenn1441]

Well done. And that folks, is the ballgame.

 

You've missed the boat. Joey's complaining about (among other things) items 1, 3, and 4 from your list. By piling on and embellishing with the items 2 and 5 you aren't doing Joey any favors.

 

Regarding professionalism, Joey's frequent rants about the business are starting to put that into question; especially when he blames his client base for his problems rather than accepting what goes on in the "real world". And this thread and others illustrate an increasing UNwillingness to put up with things.

 

Everyone understands the downsides of escorting. Clients want an escort who makes it seem fun. An escort who develops contempt for his overall client base is about as exciting (and professional) as any other performer who hates his or her audience.

[Guest]

So again, out-of-shape elderly men are part of the "crap" an escort must contend with while "trying to make a living." As has been discussed in these forums plenty of times: The most successful escorts -- those who actually can and do make a living from it -- can find a genuine sexual vibe or connection with just about any man, regardless of race, age, body type, etc. And those escorts, many participating in these forums, clearly do not consider such men part of the "crap" of escorting. The very fact that you make the reference should stand as clear evidence to Mr. Bryant that he should indeed leave the business.

 

Now, hold on. Joey Bryant never said that that elderly and/or out-of-shape men are "part of the crap." Yes, there's certainly a lack of wisdom in airing his frustrations here, non-anonymously. But he vented about potential clients' obnoxious behaviors, not their appearance. I guess he was (unsuccessfully) seeking support. As others have pointed out, he might have been more successful in getting support had he made up a new user ID, but at least he's being honest. The behaviors he described are, indeed, quite obnoxious and callous, and would cause at least a certain amount of frustration in just about anyone. If Mr. Bryant lets these frustrations spill out onto his clients, then he will not be able to be successful. If he doesn't, I don't see why he couldn't continue to be successful. Sometimes I see in escorts' websites statements such as "Don't be a flake" and so forth, which make me wonder if the escort is burnt out. Mr. Bryant's website, however, looks professional, and I wouldn't hesitate to hire him based on the website (if he were my type, which he isn't quite). I have a fantasy world in my mind in which everybody is honest, respectful, and thoughtful of others. I even have a fantasy that I'm a total dictator, and that in my land, all jerks are banished to "Asshole Island," and there is another island for liars. But, boy, do I realize that this is a completely out-there fantasy (and those islands would have to be really large!). Everybody in every walk of life has to deal with assholes on a daily basis. Even from the client's side, I will tell you that when I go on a trip, the majority of escorts don't even have the courtesy to respond to my e-mails, and I have been flaked out by them often. I don't blame them for being anxious that I may flake out on them, but they sure as hell can't make the assumption that I'm a flake.

Even just driving to work, there are times I want to yank some drivers out of their cars and slap them around saying "Was lifting a finger to turn on your turn signal really such an insurmountable effort?". And don't get my started with patients who lie, flake out, etc. But I would be nuts if I really thought I could change all peoples' behaviors, or live in a world without assholes and liars. Whenever one is confronted with a frustrating situation, one really has to stop for a few seconds and think of some version of the "serenity prayer": God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.. Other versions include the Bhuddist

If there’s a remedy when trouble strikes,

What reason is there for dejection?

And if there is no help for it,

What use is there in being glum?

 

Or:

For every ailment under the sun

There is a remedy, or there is none;

If there be one, try to find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

 

There is no way to avoid flakes, assholes, and liars. The escort business has more than its share, by the nature of the business. The escort business has its advantages, such as not having to deal with a boss or employees, and setting your own times. The disadvantage of the business is probably having to deal with more flakes. The original poster had best realize that he can't change the realities of his business. If he prefers the frustrations of other jobs to the frustration of escort work, what he can change is his line of work. That's the choice: accept what you can't change, or change what you can (your job).

[Glenn1441]

That was and is absolutely understood. Your response was bang-on

 

Of course you're right, Glenn. I wrote what I wrote late at night, in the heat of the moment. I didn't intend to cover every base.

[adriano46]

I didn't mean to disparage anyone.

 

And yet you do... again. Amazing.

[N13]

And yet you do... again. Amazing.

 

+1

 

Anyone who is fat and/or old that hires BallerBoy seems to be agreeing that they are crap. Why would anyone have such a low opinion of themselves?

[jackhammer91406]

Sizing up life...

 

One of the true judges of a person's character is how we handle adversity. In large part, it is we who must take responsibility for living a happy life. Our happiness does not depend on others, it depends on how we deal with the bad things and the trying times. To me, if I am constantly faced with situations and people who make my life unpleasant, I cannot blame them if I stay in that arena. I have to own the responsibility I have to myself for my own happiness.

 

I seldom get involved in these kinds of threads, but I can't see much value to doing something with my life that I so clearly hate when I could be so much happier even doing nothing, unless blaming others for my unhappiness is what actually makes me happy.

 

My advice to the original poster is put on your big boy pants and move on. As others have said more compassionately and eloquently, not everyone is cut out to be an escort. Just having a nice body is not the only qualification and looking pretty is not an entitlement for a happy life. Happiness requires something more than looks. It's all in the attitude.

[Diverdan]

Very well said, Jackhammer.... I wish a lot of guys who post here would follow your advice. I agree with you 100%.... it is up to us to deal with what happens in our life and only we can change it and deal with it.

DD

 

PS.... I think it is time for Daddy to put this thread to bed permanently.

[Michael Wayne]

I love the biz. I love my clients of ALL ages, shapes and sizes. Are there problems and stress in this job? yes? Any more than in any other profession? I dont think so. My hours are great... My pay is great...most clients are nice people. Yes there are cancellations and i had a long thread on them a while back. I also was the op on a long thread called, "The death of common courtesy," that got alot of responses. The fact is that we now live in an INSANT and NOW society. More and more clients have a main plan and 3 back up plans for a certain night. I hear every possible excuse for cancellations and every possible reason why guys cant book in advance and NONE are plausible. (I mean 3 potential new clients' father died or had a massive heart attack in one week????really??) However...instead of getting pissed or freaking out these days I just let it roll off of me like water off a ducks back..... not worth worrying about. My new interview on rentmen is up @ http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

[EZEtoGRU]

Very well said, Jackhammer.... I wish a lot of guys who post here would follow your advice. I agree with you 100%.... it is up to us to deal with what happens in our life and only we can change it and deal with it.

 

I agree that Jackhammer's response was spot-on. Nothing more needs to be said really.

[kevininsa]

...I just let it roll off of me like water off a ducks back..... not worth worrying about.

 

This was my point. This is how I perceive most other escorts. And this is not what I have observed from Joey for years.

[wisconsinguy]

As a health care provider for decades, I have dealt with non-compliant clients everyday. From cardiac, renal, respiratory, nutritional, and all else from head to toe. There was a time I told myself that as long as I suppled the correct information, in a way that could be understood, I had done the best in a day that was possible. If I could not supply that need, it was my obligation to refer them to others. Joey, it sounds like you have done just that. Supplied the information about what you have to offer, and many don't like it. Unfortunately, the escorting business has a different curve. I still get paid if clients don't like what I said, or they don't show. In a big way, the economics is different in your world. Good luck finding a balance.

[jimboivyo]

tell tale that the op never came back to say much of anything especially after being the personality type to want to have the last word

 

any predictions as to how long the explosive reply might take?