What to do about a review request from an escort

[N13]

I had a 'not bad' escort appointment the other night. I received an emai from the escort requesting that I do a review for him. I am hesitant because, as I say, it wasn't bad. It just wasn't anything great either. He lived up to his 'promises' but nothing more or special. If I write what was right with the liaison without including what was missing, I think it would be unfair to the reader of the review. Missing was that extra spark and the 'taking over the action' that I had asked for. I don't want to hurt the escort's feelings but don't want to write back that I can't do a great review either. What do I do? Just be rude and ignore the request or be up front and tell the escort why I am not writing one? Or..... maybe the escort will read this and understand my difficulty!

[+ azdr0710]

I always try to reply to all emails, letters, texts, what-have-you....always good to be upfront and honest, so I'd reply and tell him why you aren't writing one, but cloak it in some mild praise and good wishes....

 

just an idea....your actual relationship with him, such as it is, may call for something different.....fortunately, the so-so escorts I've met with have not requested I write a review....

[BallerBoy]

I say write an "honest review". By doing so you can list all the things you enjoyed about the encounter and then follow with the things you weren't so thrilled about. I think those kinds of reviews are the most helpful to potential clients because they seem REAL. If I read a glowing praise of an escort, I tend to discount it somewhat. Also, by writing an "honest review", you can help the escort improve his craft...

 

Man up and write the review!

[Lewis H]

I've taken note of escort responses (to posted reviews) that basically said they wished the client had gone to them with their concerns instead of airing them in a review. Of course, your case is a bit difficult since he requested a review. You might want to tell him your concerns directly before you write anything, and hopefully he'll understand. If he's the sort that may want to make it up to you (as some escorts have done) you might get some sort of deal...?

 

The other recourse is to present the review as merely 'Satisfactory' and perhaps add a comment to the effect that maybe you two didn't have the chemistry to have a really noteworthy session, which seems to be at least partially true.

[corndog]

I think that you should either write a review, explaining the good and bad points, or tell the escort why you're not going to. Doing nothing may be more comfortable, but it doesn't really help anyone.

 

By asking for a review, he's opened the door for feedback, and he probably thinks that it is going to be 100% positive, because he believes he did everything right. If you can tell him, either directly or through a review, what his shortcomings were then you're giving him an opportunity to learn and improve. That is a big favor to him, and his future clients.

[down_to_business]

I would be very surprised if the escort is going to follow-up with you demanding an explanation as to why the review he asked for never posted.

 

As to what you should do, I totally empathize with you. If you feel that the your fellow clients need to be warned about something specifically wrong about this escort- I think you have an obligation to review him. If he did nothing "wrong" per se, then you may want to write the escort a response that includes just what you said here- that you can't write a good review because _______________. This will allow the escort to get feedback that might help him better serve the next client or he might completely ignore it. Give him a chance to respond to you. In the meanwhile reflect honestly on your experience. If you deem it appropriate, write the review. If you can't focus on a great experience, perhaps you can focus on whether or not he looked like his pictures and/or lived up to his ad. You can discuss your issue as to why you will not rehire this escort if you want to- and maybe even how he acknowledged your comments and responded (or didn't).

[+ beethoven]

An escort has no right to ask for a review. I think it's tacky. If you want to write one, you will, and if you don't, you won't. So if you ignore a request that should never have been made, you're not being "rude."

 

Based on what you write here, I don't think you intend to see him again, so ignoring his request won't embarrass you, as there will be no awkward confrontation. (Unless you both get your coffee at the same Starbucks.)

 

But if you're uncomfortable with ignoring his request, I suggest that you politely inform him that you just don't write reviews. You can tell him that you enjoyed your time together, but you just don't feel comfortable writing reviews. Come to think of it, that will probably get you in deeper, as he will probably reply, "Why not? You had a good time, didn't you?"

 

We have two eyes, two years, and only one mouth. Look and listen most of the time, and speak less. In this case, just let it go.

[Nvr2Thick]

You might write the review, send it to him, and ask him if he wants you to post it. Frame this in the context of a polite letter.

[+ azdr0710]

You might write the review, send it to him, and ask him if he wants you to post it. Frame this in the context of a polite letter.

 

 

great idea.....but still wondering if you do go ahead and write an HONEST review, will the escort be miffed, go ballistic, not care, want to make it up to you, or what?.....are you particularly "close" to this guy?

[adriano46]

I have had a few escorts - who discovered that I do write occasional reviews - ask me if I would consider it. They have all been perceptive enough to know that I thoroughly enjoyed the encounter before they ask. So, on one level, I don't believe it is tacky but more a smart marketing tool.

 

Up front, I admit that I have rarely written a negative review. Unless the guy was a complete wipe out (shows up drunk, stoned, absolutely reeking, not at all the guy from the photo etc...) I simply "walk away" from the encounter, chalking it up to one of the downs in an "up and downs" type of experience. I do - if someone else HERE asks about the guy in question, either make a comment based on my personal experience or more likely, send the questioner a private message of warning.

 

Once in the distant past I had an encounter with a guy who has 99% rave reviews here (and has had them for over 15 years). After a lot of back and forth and not listening to my own inner voice telling me he was definitely NOT a type I would enjoy, I hired him. On the day of the encounter everything seemed to go wrong on his side: delay in meeting, delay in where we would meet (I had taken out a hotel room and he insisted I meet at HIS place, so I was out the cost of the room that I had already taken), and then insisting his partner be part of the equation (in those days I did not like duos)... by the time I arrived I was stressed. His place was messy, filled with odor of a dog, sort of a very awkward time all around as it looked like he had just arrived when I did. I had to walk some 25 blocks to his place quickly in spring; arrived sweaty and wanting (needing) a shower. He was not too welcoming to that idea - had to take one himself and had no extra towels. I did the best I could do with a quick sponge bath at the sink while he put on one clean sheet on the messy bed. His partner (thank God) turned out to be very hot and I was more in to him than the guy I had hired who in all this could not even get hard, which is a real let down for a client (his partner was HARD and receptive the whole time... )

 

In the end I wrote to the escort directly - big risk - telling him what I thought and why I would not write a review. He wrote a letter back thanking me for not putting that into a review and keeping it "between us."

 

Within a week this guy started attacking every post I made here - insinuating things about me, and even threatening me. So... I walked away from the Forum for 2 years, changed name and moniker and returned. I learned a lesson on a few of the "prized escorts" here who have their very loyal and protective champions - never ever attack them, or insinuate anything negative about them.

 

My advice to N13 -- depending on who the escort was, if the encounter was so-so, write the diplomatic, nuanced private note to him as suggested by many here telling him the pros and cons you saw in the encounter, but don't feel constrained to write the review if you fear an ad hominum reprisal -- it isn't worth it.

[Diverdan]

Adriano,

Thanks for your post above. I am glad that I have never had that experience, and it is unfortunate that some folks can't handle an honest review. I rarely write a review, and only do so when I have had a spectacular time. However, even if I have had a great time with someone, it does not mean that everyone else will. In spite of the professionalism of some guys, CHEMISTRY plays a very big part of the difference between an ok experience and a spectacular one. However, I have requested more information in a PM when a post here on the Forum suggests that all may not be perfect. I have really appreciated the candor and information that some have shared in a PM. But, even there when I have gone ahead with an appointment, I have had a different experience, and I again chalk that up to chemistry.

 

But, there is no excuse for a setting and experience that you had with a well known individual. And, he should have cancelled that appointment before you arrived, IMHO.

 

Thanks for this post, N13 and good luck with your final decision, which only you can make.

[ncc1701d]

I think DD gave a great response, and I'm in complete agreement. I've now met a few of the great guys here where the chemistry between us just didn't exist. It was not a bad encounter, just not great and no sparks. One of them was actually an hour late despite clear confirmation of time! And I never wrote negative reviews on them either, rightfully so or not. Chemistry is such a personal thing, and for all I know it was me (though some of them wrote me afterwards asking to meet again). That's why I think this site is so amazing, and am disappointed at the lower traffic/posting rates here. So here's to crossing my fingers that this site stays up and we get folks back here for the purpose that it is suppose to be.

[+ not2rowdy]

Maybe respond you're not comfortable writing a review based on the chemistry of a single session. Of course that brings it's own issues.

[rvwnsd]

I had a 'not bad' escort appointment the other night. I received an emai from the escort requesting that I do a review for him. I am hesitant because, as I say, it wasn't bad. It just wasn't anything great either. He lived up to his 'promises' but nothing more or special...

 

OK, so he lived up to what he said he would deliver. I think that's good information to put in a review.

 

...If I write what was right with the liaison without including what was missing, I think it would be unfair to the reader of the review...

 

I would agree with this statement if you hadn't said he lived up to his promises and you didn't say:

 

Missing was that extra spark and the 'taking over the action'...

 

Without having met you, there is no way he would know what the "extra spark" or "taking over the action" means.

 

...that I had asked for...

 

To me, this sounds like you were asking for extraordinary chemistry. I don't think one can ask for that.

 

 

...I don't want to hurt the escort's feelings but don't want to write back that I can't do a great review either...

 

You don't need to do this.

 

...What do I do? Just be rude and ignore the request or be up front and tell the escort why I am not writing one?...

 

I don't think the choices are limited to just these two things.

 

...Or..... maybe the escort will read this and understand my difficulty!

 

Unless his name is C. Laird Voyant, don't count on him to figure it out.

 

Here's my suggestion:

 

First, think about whether you even want to write a review. If you truly do not want to write one, don't write one. When faced with a similar quandary, I replied that I typically prefer to write reviews after I have had more than one session with a guy. If you want to write a review, then write one. You can state that he delivered on what he said he would and leave it at that. Readers will get that he delivered on what he said he would deliver.

 

Second, there are some escorts who are adept at "reading" their clients and they can provide that "something extra." "Something extra" means different things to different clients. It sounds to me as if the "something extra" isn't "extra" at all for you. "Extra" is defined as follows:

 

When used as a noun,

1. Something more than is usual or necessary.

2. Something, such as an accessory on a motor vehicle, for which an additional charge is made.

 

When used as an adjective,

1. More than or beyond what is usual, normal, expected, or necessary.

2. Better than ordinary; superior

3. Subject to an additional charge:

 

Do you really want to write a review stating that you were disappointed with an escort because he did not do more than is usual or necessary? If an escort does more than is usual/expected, then it should definitely be mentioned. If an escort does less than is usual/expected, that should be mentioned as well. If he lives up to his end of the bargain, why should he be dinged for not doing more?

[Phil_musc]

I haven't written all that many reviews myself - for me it is an emotional choice and what prompts it is if I had a spectacular time or the direct opposite, i.e., the time was a complete unmitigated disaster. I'm glad to say that the good experiences radically outnumber the disasters. And yet, wouldn't more reviews of average or so-so encounters be helpful to us all? As has been noted above, so much is a result of chemistry and generally those great encounters are really more about the individuals involved and how they got along. As such these reviews may well be less valid and useful for the general body of hirers. Whereas, it would seem that an ok or average encounter might be more typical of what most people should expect. Since so much is "chemistry" shouldn't we readers be able to read between the lines and figure that out? The reviewer should present his experience and be as objective as he can be and simply state how the encounter went - how it made him feel, was it a positive experience? Did he feel affirmed? Did he feel that it was money well spent? Was the sex (if any) fair, adequate, mind-blowing (circle one)? Would he counsel others not to hire the guy or should they go ahead, realizing that their "mileage may vary?"

[Phil_musc]

Have just read rvwsnd's excellent post above my previous one which appeared while I was crafting mine. He writes cogently and compellingly - I defer to his excellent post (which actually I think is similar to mine anyway;-) at least in my intent.)

[Bart]

Hello N13,

The dreaded "Satisfactory, but not rehire review" is more difficult than any other review around here. The answers are mixed. I asked this question maybe a year ago to escorts in ask the escort and was told by gentlemen no and clients yes. Then a while back it popped up again with some commentary about just such a review, most forum members said the review should never have been posted. So while many would like to tell you what to do because they dont have the guts to do it themselves they will be the first to turn on you when you do.

 

I am a person who posts a ton of reviews and I have only had one posted negative review and I actually just submitted only my second negative review. Like you I have had plenty of "okay but no I wont rehire." How can you really put in a review that we did not click, it happens and to me with some very well reviewed people. They did not do anything wrong but just did not see what all the pizazz was about.

 

My suggestion which is by the way my way of handling most of these situations, I dont write a positive or negative review unless I meet a second time unless it is something serious like guy lied, pictures not his or some other key component I feel would be critical to someone who would hire.

In your case a few questions:

Did he mention dogs ahead of time before you came over? If not yes I would think that is important because many people of have allergies.

That is just an example of what I call a key component. So for me review the key components of your request if he deliberately did not include something or represent an ability that was not there or treated anything less than a great guy than yes a review is warranted but if it was more yeah got off but ehh nothing special I am not so sure it is that important, but regardless your decision and hopefully the public here wont jump down your back, especially if it is a popular gentleman.

[rvwnsd]

Have just read rvwsnd's excellent post above my previous one which appeared while I was crafting mine. He writes cogently and compellingly...

 

Thank you. :o (I really am smiling and blushing as I type.)

 

...(which actually I think is similar to mine anyway;-) at least in my intent.)

 

I agree. We said the same things in different ways.

[N13]

I really appreciate everyone taking this seriously. A whole lot of thoughtful answers! I think that I will go down low on this one after all. I was not going to write a review before I received the request. It is probably best to go with my first instinct. If he contacts me again I will be truthful with him; but I don't think he will.

 

Thanks for all the good thoughts and advice!!!! Sincerely.

[instudiocity]

An escort has no right to ask for a review. I think it's tacky. If you want to write one, you will, and if you don't, you won't. So if you ignore a request that should never have been made, you're not being "rude."

 

Based on what you write here, I don't think you intend to see him again, so ignoring his request won't embarrass you, as there will be no awkward confrontation. (Unless you both get your coffee at the same Starbucks.)

 

But if you're uncomfortable with ignoring his request, I suggest that you politely inform him that you just don't write reviews. You can tell him that you enjoyed your time together, but you just don't feel comfortable writing reviews. Come to think of it, that will probably get you in deeper, as he will probably reply, "Why not? You had a good time, didn't you?"

 

We have two eyes, two years, and only one mouth. Look and listen most of the time, and speak less. In this case, just let it go.

Actually, the escort has every RIGHT to ask for a review... geez... why are you invoking RIGHTS?

 

The patron has every RIGHT to ignore the request, write the review, or anything else he may want to do, not do or maybe do.

 

It's a free world.

 

I hope the patron has more than two years...

[instudiocity]

I really appreciate everyone taking this seriously. A whole lot of thoughtful answers! I think that I will go down low on this one after all. I was not going to write a review before I received the request. It is probably best to go with my first instinct. If he contacts me again I will be truthful with him; but I don't think he will.

 

Thanks for all the good thoughts and advice!!!! Sincerely.

Do as you please.

 

But in reading your posts here, I am of the impression that you would only write GREAT POSITIVE REVIEWS, no so-so reviews or negative reviews. I hope you'd consider this:

 

I am of the belief that a review is not necessarily Great, positive or negative but possesses the possibility of Great, Glowing, Positive and Negative comments. To me, a review is neutral entity that may contain positives and negatives while reviewing the encounter.

[whipped guy]

N13... I think that you made the correct decision... Plus, you feel comfortable with it... so that means that you made the right decision for you. Incidentally, it is what I think I would have done as well if I interpret the events correctly... but that in itself would not make it the right choice for your situation.

 

Heck, reviews often come from our hearts... to help others... We are not under contract with the New York Times... as such it is not an obligation.

[+ Axiom2001]

I say write an "honest review". By doing so you can list all the things you enjoyed about the encounter and then follow with the things you weren't so thrilled about. I think those kinds of reviews are the most helpful to potential clients because they seem REAL. If I read a glowing praise of an escort, I tend to discount it somewhat. Also, by writing an "honest review", you can help the escort improve his craft...

 

Man up and write the review!

 

I concur with BallerBoy! What you choose to write with help others in deciding to get with this individual. But remember: one man's experience is, in many cases, different than

another's. Chemistry and other factors play a great role. Do write and in detail.

[Guest Starbuck]

I learned a lesson on a few of the "prized escorts" here who have their very loyal and protective champions - never ever attack them, or insinuate anything negative about them.

 

Frankly, I got distracted from the OP's original question when I got to this quote in Adriano's thoughtful response. It's kind of the flip side of the oft-expressed concern about trusting a bunch of first reviews of a little known escort ... in this case, whether to believe that a "star" escort is all that his reviews say he is or if, instead, his disappointed clients keep their opinions to themselves because they're too uncomfortable to swim against the tide or too worried about being bullied by the escort or his champions.

[bigvalboy]

Adriano you are spot on in your response. In many ways you cut to the heart of the problem with entire review process, and I dare say with the dynamics that are this MF....