Initial Contact -- Telephone or Email

[Guest Starbuck]

Clients, given a choice between making an initial contact with an escort by telephone or email, which do you prefer and why? And do you make sure that "what you want to do" is always part of that first communication?

[bigvalboy]

Clients, given a choice between making an initial contact with an escort by telephone or email, which do you prefer and why? And do you make sure that "what you want to do" is always part of that first communication?

 

Speaking for myself, the very first contact is always text. I never call or email until further plans and more detailed understanding of what I am looking for is needed. I have found that almost everyone is comfortable with a text message. It is quick, concise and to the point. Regardless of what the escort is doing during his day, he will most likely have a few moments to return a text. Of course for us clients, I'm sure we have all been on the other side, like when you are trying to spend some quality time with an escort, and he is more interested in sending a text out than giving his full attention to you...lol

 

Following the original text, ongoing communication is done by email. I will only call if communication via email presents problems. As an example of feeling a little uneasy with escorts not answering all of my questions, or escorts who misunderstand what you are trying to say, or escorts that communicate in a cold or unfriendly manner. When that happens I will request to speak to them directly.

[down_to_business]

Clients, given a choice between making an initial contact with an escort by telephone or email, which do you prefer and why? And do you make sure that "what you want to do" is always part of that first communication?

 

Email. Several reasons. 1) safety.. The few law enforcement people I know use telephone to "snag". 2) Missed/returned emails are no big deal for me, but when I call, the escort usually takes it upon themselves to call me back with or without permission to do so. This is usually at the worst possible time for me personally. 3) I don't enjoy phone contact in general. 4) I refuse to discuss specifics, acts, money or anything else by phone (see my #1 above) which usually makes for an uncomfortable phone conversation.

 

No, I usually never discuss exactly what I want to do in the first contact. I do usually inquire about availability, rates, and location/logistics in the opening email (depending upon what I already know).

[Tighty]

Speaking for myself, the very first contact is always text. I never call or email until further plans and more detailed understanding of what I am looking for is needed. I have found that almost everyone is comfortable with a text message. It is quick, concise and to the point. Regardless of what the escort is doing during his day, he will most likely have a few moments to return a text. Of course for us clients, I'm sure we have all been on the other side, like when you are trying to spend some quality time with an escort, and he is more interested in sending a text out than giving his full attention to you...lol

 

Following the original text, ongoing communication is done by email. I will only call if communication via email presents problems. As an example of feeling a little uneasy with escorts not answering all of my questions, or escorts who misunderstand what you are trying to say, or escorts that communicate in a cold or unfriendly manner. When that happens I will request to speak to them directly.

 

What do you text? Give us an example.

[whipped guy]

Always an initial email that it is coherently written in sentences and is usually short and to the point regarding availability, rates, etc. In an ideal world I will get a response that is also written in sentences and not silly acronyms and text speak. Now I won't eliminate a hot guy from consideration if he writes, "i want 2 c u". However, it does give me an indication regarding his level of maturity, plus a hint as to what's going on between his ears.

 

If you can't tell I absolute hate texting. It is an excuse to avoid an intelligent manner of communicating. In the rare times that I do text I use complete and organized sentences and say what needs to be said in one long text... as opposed to a series of random thoughts that often indicate a lack of communication skills. Not to go off in a tangent, but younger individuals have lost many of the basic skills needed to converse in a logical manner... be they written or verbal. Hence the need to hide behind a text message.

 

In any event, virtually all my contact is made via email as, the NSA not withstanding, it is the safest and most anonymous manner by which to initiate contact. When appropriate, and eventually to indicate a level of sincerity, I will in due time share my mobile contact information.

[Epigonos]

My first three contracts with a prospective hire are always by email – I’m old and hate texting.

 

Email #1 goes something like the following: I am interested in the possibility of getting together with you for lunch or dinner (your choice) and then return to your place for a couple of hours of play time. Are you interested in this type of arrangement and is so what would your fee be? Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you

 

If his response is positive and his fee is in the range I am willing to pay then I respond with something like the following;

 

Email #2 I feel it is unfair that clients know far more about the escorts they hire than the escorts know about the clients who hire them. I then provide a rather detailed physical description of myself. I also clearly state my sexual likes and dislikes as well general dislikes such as rudeness and poor hygiene.

I then state that if none of the provided information is a problem let me know.

 

If his response is positive.

 

Email#3 I suggest some possible dates and times for the get together. I also provide my telephone number and assure him that he is welcome to give me a call at his convenience if he would like to talk.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Of course, being, the odd duck that I am, my preferred method is none of those. It seems like every one of the escorts I've hired I have gotten to know either through their postings here (and in subsequent PMs) or I have first met them in person at a forum function, be it Palm Springs or DC weekends. It's one reason I really regret that fewer escorts are posting here than they were when I joined a few years ago.

[bigvalboy]

What do you text? Give us an example.

 

Something on this order. Hi (insert name of escort) hope things are good with you. You come highly recommended. If you have some time in the next few days for a hire, please give me a call or text or email. (insert email). Warm regards, (insert my name)

 

 

That's it. Short, personable, to the point. Like whipped Guy, I don't abbreviate or use letters to represent words, like BTW, LTR, or CU. I text in complete sentences, until a connection is made, then I will text with abbreviations. Most younger escorts have said that they prefer texting. I personally love communicating by text. It's fast, there is no wasted time, it makes it easy for the escort, it is short, simple, and most importantly, it allows an escort to take a pass on my initial contact, change plans, move appointments around without having to explain himself.

[Scorpio]

My first three contracts with a prospective hire are always by email – I’m old and hate texting.

 

Email #1 goes something like the following: I am interested in the possibility of getting together with you for lunch or dinner (your choice) and then return to your place for a couple of hours of play time. Are you interested in this type of arrangement and is so what would your fee be? Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you

 

If his response is positive and his fee is in the range I am willing to pay then I respond with something like the following;

 

Email #2 I feel it is unfair that clients know far more about the escorts they hire than the escorts know about the clients who hire them. I then provide a rather detailed physical description of myself. I also clearly state my sexual likes and dislikes as well general dislikes such as rudeness and poor hygiene.

I then state that if none of the provided information is a problem let me know.

 

If his response is positive.

 

Email#3 I suggest some possible dates and times for the get together. I also provide my telephone number and assure him that he is welcome to give me a call at his convenience if he would like to talk.

 

This is my approach as well, except I accomplish the task in one email instead of three. If the reply is positive, then the second email usually schedules the appointment.

 

I wouldn't be opposed to using text, except it would take to much back and forth.

[JoshChgo]

Clients, given a choice between making an initial contact with an escort by telephone or email, which do you prefer and why? And do you make sure that "what you want to do" is always part of that first communication?

 

I take the escorts suggested preference for contact into first consideration. After that, I will always choose to speak on the phone. Nothing seals the deal or clarifies the indifference like mouth to mouth. Conversation.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I almost always use email for first contact. Email allows me to proof and edit so I don't come across as an idiot for the first contact. I've not quite figured out how to sound confident when contacting someone by phone.

[bostonman]

I definitely prefer emails. I feel I can express myself much better by being able to write it out and organize it, and I like emails rather than texts because there's less of a constraint on message size, etc. (Plus, I much prefer typing on regular-size keys, lol)

 

I met a nice young man last week through Rentboy, and had an odd situation - I tried to send him an email through the site, but it wouldn't go through...so I took the chance on being a bit silly, and texted him to say that I'd love to get in touch but would prefer to start by email, but the rentboy system seemed to be down - I offered my email address and asked him to write me back. He did, and it wasn't a problem at all.

 

I do like to get somewhat detailed in a first email, given that I'm often looking to hire someone good at roleplay, or who'd let me indulge in certain fetishes, etc - so without going overboard, I do like the escort to know the specialties I'm looking for. Real details can wait, but I might say, something like "I do have a foot fetish, and I see you posted a pic of your feet, so I assume you're cool with me wanting to get into that" etc. (I do try to base what I say on things I notice about his ad, or questions I may have given things not in his ad, etc.)

 

Taking into account that not everyone is good at writing/spelling/expressing themselves through email, I try to be understanding if I get a response back that isn't as detailed as my query. But I do have to say, in the limited hiring I've done so far, I've actually only hired guys who have indeed put some personality, enthusiasm, and care into their email responses. It makes me feel more at ease (and more like I've found a good fit) if the response sounds human and friendly instead of guarded and simply businesslike.

 

Sometimes this has led to phone calls - I do like to get the chance to hear the escort's voice - but a few times, including my session last week, it's just been through emails. (He, frankly, was so personable in his emails that it just felt right anyway, lol.)

 

As for the escorts that can't seem to communicate - well, I tend to feel that if they can't set things up in a way that makes me feel I'm making the right choice, I probably wouldn't enjoy our time together either. I had a weird experience a few months ago - I was indeed looking for a guy who could be into some footplay and roleplay - I sent an initial email with *some* details and he wrote back saying he wasn't really sure what I wanted. I went into more detail, trying to spell out the scenario I was looking for. I never heard back from him. But I did see that shortly thereafter he amended his online profile with a sentence such as "sorry guys, I don't do the roleplay thing." Gee - nice of him to tell me. The fact that he couldn't even write me back to say "sorry, not my scene" or something said to me that he would have made an awful partner in the sack even if he wound up being into what I wanted. And I have to say it was rather galling to see him, in effect, turning me down by saying so in his profile, but not at all to me personally. Tactless, if you ask me.

[Tighty]

Wut? Idk u dun like ez txtng. Bisly, jtlyk. Coo?

[Tighty]

Law enforcement snoops emails too right? Not just phone calls.

[JoshChgo]

Law enforcement snoops emails too right? Not just phone calls.

 

If you want to fuck yourself legally put it in writing. An oral conversation over the phone is open to interpretation in many many ways.

[bostonman]

Wut? Idk u dun like ez txtng. Bisly, jtlyk. Coo?

 

"I can haz cheezburger" to you too...;-)

[whipped guy]

I definitely prefer emails... Taking into account that not everyone is good at writing/spelling/expressing themselves through email, I try to be understanding if I get a response back that isn't as detailed as my query. But I do have to say, in the limited hiring I've done so far, I've actually only hired guys who have indeed put some personality, enthusiasm, and care into their email responses. It makes me feel more at ease (and more like I've found a good fit) if the response sounds human and friendly instead of guarded and simply businesslike.

 

Sometimes this has led to phone calls - I do like to get the chance to hear the escort's voice - but a few times, including my session last week, it's just been through emails. (He, frankly, was so personable in his emails that it just felt right anyway, lol.)

 

As for the escorts that can't seem to communicate - well, I tend to feel that if they can't set things up in a way that makes me feel I'm making the right choice, I probably wouldn't enjoy our time together either.

Bostonman... This more or less nails it!!! Great advice!!

[tom1980]

My initial contact is almost always via text because I find it more convenient, and most escorts and masseurs I contact say they prefer phone contact. I write something like, "Hi, I'm Tom. I saw ur ad on [rentboy/men4rent/masseurfinder] and would like to meet u while u r visiting Dallas. R u available for an incall tomorrow evening around 7:30 or later?" Over the last several years, I've learned that the things most escorts want to know immediately when I contact them are my name, where I saw their ad, incall or outcall, and when I want to meet. My initial message is designed to convey all of that information.

 

As for what I want to do, I never link money to sex when talking to an escort. If the escort doesn't list a rate in his ad, I'll ask how much he charges for his time. If he says he charges different amounts for different activities, I tell him that I only pay for time and usually move onto someone else. If an escort asks me what I want to do with him, I say something like, "How I want to spend our time together will depend on our chemistry. I've read ur ad and think we r compatible. Let's talk when I get to ur hotel room and see how things go." If he presses me, I will provide general information about my sexual preferences.

[Guest verymarried]

I really like private messaging on this website or on Adam4Adam. Phone, texting and email are complicated for me for personal reasons, and web-site messaging has been real helpful. Griffin Donovan, for example, is a wonderful correspondent and is easily reachable via the private messaging system on this site.

[Guest]

I'm almost always at one of four places: (1) at work, (2) at home, (3) at the gym or some other place where I'm indisposed, or (4) in my car traveling between those places. Although I'm in an open relationship, none of these places is appropriate for me to be discussing escort matters. Therefore I will almost always initiate the contact by e-mail. I wouldn't initiate the contact unless I knew what the escort does, so I don't discuss what we will be doing in the e-mail. If I can't tell from either this website or from the escort's ad what he does, I'm not interested. I don't mind calling the escort if he'll answer his phone right when I call, but I'm not going to leave my number for him to call back at his convenience, because it almost certainly will not be at a convenient or appropriate time for me. I have to deal with e-mail in my work, and I expect an escort to check his e-mail a few times a day also. Contacting potential clients is the escort's business, and if he can't be bothered, that says something about his work ethic. I can understand not being able to answer every phone call right at the time I call. But an escort should be answering his friggin' e-mails. That's part of his job.

[SteveEscort]

I don't mind either

 

I hate first timers making initial contact by text. Especially when they expect replies, on demand. Over 80% of my regulars will set up a repeat appointment though by text. I really don't mind that because I know who they are.

 

Guys who make an initial enquiry by email tend to tell you exactly what they want, when they want it, how long for etc. Guys who make an initial enquiry by text tend to drip feed you questions "are you working Friday" then "how big are you" then "do you kiss". They never ever seem to be able to ask a concise list of questions in the first few texts, then when you don't reply in a timely manner (possibly because you're entertaining) you'll get a "??????" And often "I've found someone else you took too long to reply" all because I had an appointment in, yet they'd be the first to complain at me texting other clients during our time together. Anyone who follows my twitter feed will seeing on an almost daily basis how many text timewasters us working boys get. I get an average 15 texts a day from guys, of which possibly one will be a genuine enquiry. The rest are guys who are bored and fancy a text toss or want me to amuse them for 20 minutes asking for pictures and dick sizes, telling me how they're going to fuck me. [[[[yawn]]]]

[whipped guy]

Some here have mentioned using this forum's PM system for initial contact. At least initially I prefer a bit of anonymity so I never take that route. Of course over the years some escorts have contacted me via PM and suggested that we might get together and then the wheels are initially set in motion via this forum. However, it usually then gets shifted to the email format. At times I have met escorts in person through other individuals, but again the "negotiations" then switch to the email format.

 

Still, regarding escorts who post here, I usually decide after we have established a relationship if I want to divulge my forum identity. However, at least one guy figured it out during our first session. I guess I was a guy who wanted to be whipped and he put two and two together. All kidding aside, as Lee mentioned above a lot of escorts don't post here much anymore. Some have no clue that the message center even exists. I have told more than one guy about it and even if they don't want to post here at the very least they can get some free advertising in the travel section.

 

Incidentally, the one time and only time that I initially volunteered my screen name here was shortly after joining. It was to a well-reviewed escort who used to post here. He might be retired now. We did not click for what ever reason and it made for an awkward situation. He thought that I was going to give him a bad review. I decided not to submit a review as it was a clash of personalities, not something the escort did improperly. Not everything works out perfectly in this imperfect world. Incidentally my review moniker is different from my screen name here. That's because I was writing reviews for about five years prior to joining the message center officially.

 

In any event, just a bit of my history here... and either way I eventually prefer to eventually go the email and then phone route as in my case when I hire a basically vanilla escort I don't want to initially scare them away. I do like to hire vanilla guys to do S&M and that is off putting to many of them. I need to establish that I am responsible, trustworthy, sane, and sincere. I also need to know more than a bit about them as well. It's a two way street. Furthermore, since I schedule things mostly in advance I like the spaciousness of the email format to establish how, when, and what I would like to accomplish during our time together.

[Decatur Guy]

I will not hire anyone for the first time without eventually having a phone conversation. But it's OK with me for the initial contact to be through e-mail if they indicate in their ad they prefer e-mail contact. I usually write a short note along the lines of:

 

I saw your ad on (insert site here). I am intrigued and would like to talk to determine whether we want to set an appointment, generally the best times for you to meet, etc. I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Sometimes I put my phone number in the e-mail; other times I let the escort supply his phone number., especially if I'm more curious than 100% sure I'm interested.

 

Now if the escort has his phone number in the ad and indicates he prefers phone contact, I skip the e-mail and call and leave a verbal message similar to the above if he doesn't pick up live and will say the best time to call back. Sometimes I'll even follow that up with a short e-mail: I called and left you a message just now. My number again is 696-9696. Look forward to hearing from you!

 

I HATE texting except for brief communications: "Hey, I'm leaving for your hotel room now." / Here's my address: 69 Blow Job Avenue / etc. I will not hold extensive conversations on texting. I'll write long e-mails if necessary at a computer keyboard.

 

But at some point, I have to have that phone call. I make my first-time hiring determinations by the sound of his voice, ease of conversation, etc. If it's a local guy I've hired before, I will set appointments via text or e-mail.

[Tighty]

I don't mind either

 

I hate first timers making initial contact by text. Especially when they expect replies, on demand. Over 80% of my regulars will set up a repeat appointment though by text. I really don't mind that because I know who they are.

 

Guys who make an initial enquiry by email tend to tell you exactly what they want, when they want it, how long for etc. Guys who make an initial enquiry by text tend to drip feed you questions "are you working Friday" then "how big are you" then "do you kiss". They never ever seem to be able to ask a concise list of questions in the first few texts, then when you don't reply in a timely manner (possibly because you're entertaining) you'll get a "??????" And often "I've found someone else you took too long to reply" all because I had an appointment in, yet they'd be the first to complain at me texting other clients during our time together. Anyone who follows my twitter feed will seeing on an almost daily basis how many text timewasters us working boys get. I get an average 15 texts a day from guys, of which possibly one will be a genuine enquiry. The rest are guys who are bored and fancy a text toss or want me to amuse them for 20 minutes asking for pictures and dick sizes, telling me how they're going to fuck me. [[[[yawn]]]]

 

Lol @ '??????'

[bostonman]

Here's my address: 69 Blow Job Avenue

 

Damn - I'd love to live there...