Why I Can't Get Hard

[actor61]

At the suggestion of several other posters, I'm starting this thread just for fun. Here are some of the reasons I've heard for why an escort couldn't get it up with me:

 

1. I'm taking Prozac.

2. I haven't drunk enough water.

3. I thought I was in the mood. Guess not.

4. It needs stimulation. (This after me giving him about 30 minutes of really ambitious head!!)

5. I only get hard if I watch porn.

 

And words that were supposed to make me feel better about the unsuccessful session:

 

1. It's not you. It's me. (duh!)

2. I don't need to get hard to have fun, and this was fun. (No, it wasn't!)

3. I'll take $10 off the price.

[tom1980]

Awesome. Thanks for the laugh! The ones I've heard are:

 

1. You're ass is too tight for me to stay hard. (Yeah, I've got buns of steel.)

2. I'm taking supplements [read steroids] for my workout and can't cum. You can suck me though. (Because it's soooo much fun sucking on a soft dick while the guy displays no evidence of enjoyment.)

3. I can't get hard with a condom on. (Well I'm not gonna let you fuck me bareback. I actually have a slight amount of sympathy for this issue because I've had the same issue at times, but an escort who advertises as a "total top" is not allowed to use this excuse.)

[gallahadesquire]

"I took my levitra too late."

"The lubricant was too cold / hot."

And never heard:

"I'm just not into you."

 

The testosterone supplement has done wonders. And it is indicated: My levels were 20% below "normal" lower limits.

[+ purplekow]

I did an hour on the stationery bike before I left and I think there was too much pressure in the area.

[+ azdr0710]

I wanted to watch a very hung ex-Marine top another dude....he couldn't get it up and was embarrassed and sincerely apologetic....I asked why and he said he was nervous with a third (me) in the room watching, though the three of us had met before once or twice.....later, he bottomed for me and got off within seconds....there may've been some other confidence issues going on with him, too....good guy, though, and I still meet him occasionally

[gallahadesquire]

I wanted to watch a very hung ex-Marine top another dude....he couldn't get it up and was embarrassed and sincerely apologetic....I asked why and he said he was nervous with a third (me) in the room watching, though the three of us had met before once or twice.....later, he bottomed for me and got off within seconds....there may've been some other confidence issues going on with him, too....good guy, though, and I still meet him occasionally

 

Someone can be ex-Army, ex-Air Force, ex-Navy, or ex-Coastguard, but I have been instructed in no uncertain words that one is never an ex-Marine. Former Marine is acceptable.

[McLeanspider]

1. I'm taking Prozac.

2. I haven't drunk enough water.

3. I thought I was in the mood. Guess not.

4. It needs stimulation. (This after me giving him about 30 minutes of really ambitious head!!)

5. I only get hard if I watch porn.

 

I'm sure escorts listen to this excuses too, besides the typical: "I didn't take Viagra because I never needed to..."

[+ azdr0710]

Someone can be ex-Army, ex-Air Force, ex-Navy, or ex-Coastguard, but I have been instructed in no uncertain words that one is never an ex-Marine. Former Marine is acceptable.

 

thank you, Gallahad!.....funny, I thought that same thing as I was typing it, but just wanted to be accurate...or something....Semper Fi

[gallahadesquire]

Former vs. ex- Marine

 

An interesting thread on the subject:

 

http://usmc.tribe.net/thread/ced5fab3-d3b0-4291-ae53-7019382f6f50

 

An interesting [?] factoid is that, doing a google search on "Ex-marine", returns "former marine" in the results. Try it!

[leigh.bess.toad]

Anyone ever gotten the "It's a reaction to the allergy medicine I'm taking"?

[+ Tygerscent]

Alternatives to the top wearing a wrapper:

1). Use the female condom.

2). Go to fort Troff and buy the "raw dawg", essentially a soft silicone butt plug with a hole in it where the top inserts and plows~

3). Cock ring~?

4). Find an Escort who is not on roids~

 

Tyger~

[email protected]

971.400.2633

http://www.tygerscent.biz

men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Oregon

rentmen.com AAAtygerscentxxx

Daddy's reviews: Ty in Portland Oregon

 

 

 

 

Awesome. Thanks for the laugh! The ones I've heard are:

 

1. You're ass is too tight for me to stay hard. (Yeah, I've got buns of steel.)

2. I'm taking supplements [read steroids] for my workout and can't cum. You can suck me though. (Because it's soooo much fun sucking on a soft dick while the guy displays no evidence of enjoyment.)

3. I can't get hard with a condom on. (Well I'm not gonna let you fuck me bareback. I actually have a slight amount of sympathy for this issue because I've had the same issue at times, but an escort who advertises as a "total top" is not allowed to use this excuse.)

[actor61]

Anyone ever gotten the "It's a reaction to the allergy medicine I'm taking"?

 

Yes, I've heard that one. I've also heard, "I must be allergic to your cologne", when I wasn't wearing any. I never do.

 

The one that really ticks me off, though, is "I'm not a machine." Of course you're not, bucky, but this appointment was set and confirmed 2 days ago. You have assured me several times that your "huge" dick gets hard in 10 seconds and stays hard, and that you just can't wait to get over here and fuck me, but now nothing's moving upwards so you're accusing me of being insensitive because I'm a little frustrated, and state "I'm not a machine" as though my expectations were unreasonable.

 

I'm sure escorts have equally negative tales about us customers, especially the photo collectors and no-shows, but if an appointment has been set up, you've talked on the phone, and everybody knows what everybody wants, then it's time to cut bait or fish. I would much rather an escort say to me, "this isn't going to work. Let's try another time", and we both leave with your dignity intact. I'll even pay half the fee and call it a night. But when his limp dick becomes the basis for a confrontation, and I'm accused of being demanding because I simply want to see it reaching for the stars, then I head for the hills!

[Michael Wayne]

certainly the MAIN qualification for a male escort is to get hard and stay hard for guys he is NOT attracted too. Very few guys can do this which is why most guys who TRY escorting wash out really quick. This happened to my last apprentice. They will make all the excuses in the world but the bottom line is that to them YOU ARE NOT HOT and THEY ARE NOT A REAL PRO. http://www.rentboy.com/magicmikey

[desertguy1954]

I once had a guy tell me it had been a long day, so he just wanted me to suck him off. I had gone to him because he said he was a top. Well I said this was not working, paid him for the time I was there, which was not long. I am sure that escorts get crap also from clients, but if you dont feel like meeting with me, tell me. No problem with that at all.

[desertguy1954]

The first thing I make sure of is that the escort uses a condom. When he is getting ready to plow my ass, if he says he prefers without, we finish our time together another way or I pay for the time I was with him and say thanks but no thanks. Though I agree, if he is a total top I expect him to be hard regardless of having to use a condom.

[adannyboy]

1) The prozac thing is for realz. just sayin.

2) The best way to counteract the prozac (or any antidepressant) is to practice, practice, practice. Masturbate regularly until you can build up erections quickly.

3) cockrings are an antidepressant taker's best friend.

4) You got me drunk first.

[actor61]

If an escort is completely honest, his business grows in proportion. I once had a guy in Santa Monica I loved seeing - funny, gorgeous, hung, and an expert top. One time, I called him late in the afternoon and we made an appointment for 8 that evening. Around 6:30, he phoned me to say that someone had called him in the meantime and offered him 5 times what I would have paid him to spend a couple of hours but he felt bad because he had already made an appointment with me. He said he was really worried I would be pissed and never see him again but I said, "Are you kidding? I understand completely. Thanks for telling me. You could have just not shown up. Go see the other guy and make some money. I'll see you some other time." He laughed with relief, said thanks and I assume made a shitload of money that night with the other guy. A few days later, he called and said he was available if I felt like seeing him. I drove over that evening, we had a really, really good time, and when I went to leave the bucks on his nightstand, he peeled off a $20 for himself and then handed the rest back to me, saying, "Thanks for being so understanding the other night." That guy got my weekly business for the next 3 years until he moved out of town, and I really miss him!

[Bart]

Well, well this thread is timed. What to do? The two biggest disappointments in the last year relate specifically to this topic, there were two others who had the up and down issue, just cant keep it hard but did enough not to warrant mentioning it. But probably lost me as a client.

 

Just so it is clear I have written a negative review before and this was a key part of the subject 2-1/2 years ago. There is a point when I feel that you can live with a little bit of the hard and go soft. However, for mature tops I think this is where gentlemen need to strongly find a new career path when getting up is more than just an occasional issue. I will say to some of the stuff read here, hilarious but true. Although no one, thankfully has said this to my face, "not just into you" they probably think it and say it when I leave but at least not to my face.

 

The second just happened. It was a top ten bucket list person too, in the business since I started hiring and maybe that is just it, used up so to speak. Does not advertise and only goes to regulars and referrals. To his credit he did not make any excuse, only charged me half but he did get hard enough to fuck me and cum in about 7 min and great body and personality. Thankfully I had one of the best with me at the time who made it easy to have Mr. Bucket list be second banana or should I say second "wet noodle." He wants an opportunity to make it up to me we will see. Friends have suggested maybe do otherwise, but he is dangling a connection to #2 on my bucket list, which really is #1 since my previous #1 is never going to happen. I can overlook a lot for that and he offered a bigger cut than I expected in the rate.

 

Now the other guy, ugh, he too was very nice but seriously I think you all know I am a bottom. I had this guy for an overnight last year, great pics, shows up claims 5'11 really 5'9 with shoes on. Body okay match to pics but then said he was recovering from a shoulder injury, but still enough muscle to make me interested. Then his huge thick, lasagna noodle thick, was just plain old and tired. My jaw was so tired sucking on it finally I said lets go to dinner but I am not having pasta. Engaging as hell but back to room, we are talking about how he wants me to come NY and meet some friends that they would give a great time and I am saying "hey as long I am getting fucked," emphasizing the point that I am looking to get fucked. Finally 3 hours in there is life, we are getting huge matching pics and then WTF he jerks off no attempt to fuck me what-so-ever. Why I don't have guts to kick these guys to the curb I don't know. I am way to nice and dumb. Just like a cow lead to slaughter, or in this case lead to the pasta machine. The guy was so fucking into himself did not notice I was cold as ice the next morning when I woke him to tell him he better get going not to miss his flight. I know stupid why not write a review. You my goal here is not to be negative. I don't like being negative and writing a negative review does not make me feel better.

 

I at least got some balls later to write to him ask WTF. Of course the excuses came, he had no idea I was disappointed and I should have said something. I responded by saying "what do you think an in-charge top is." Then he says well you were sucking me and was not sure. What I only talked about getting fucked a hundred times during the previous three hours of while his dick was on life-support. I should have asked really what was I suppose to do yell dont you fucking come without fucking me and see it end up soft again. Thankfully I had a guy the next night. Then sometimes when I inquire they seem a bit put off that I am blunt about what I am looking for but for me and I think most of us it is pretty basic. I love all the other stuff about the gentlemen I meet but it starts with the "meat." If you cant get hard and stay don't advertise as a Top. it just isn't that "hard." For me size is not the most important but getting fucked is my thing.

 

When will I get balls enough to call a guy out for it in front of me. Ugh

[rocky]

Well more often than not there are not "ex" or "former' military at all, only someone to make us feel excited.

[+ Tygerscent]

Seems as though many escorts need to pace them selves better~?

ie: not see multiple clients per day or hold there loads for the "special" Client or off work fun...

Be rested and ready.

Avoid steroids and recreational drugs so they can perform to greatest ability for the pleasure and satisfaction of the Client~

Communicate properly when they feel they can't provide the service agreed upon~

...and flip side of that coin~ Clients should choose Escorts who don't over extend themselves, are roided out, doing drugs... are honest about their ability and human condition~?

I'm just asking: given the porn world and marketed male fantasy image that promotes the caverject, trimix, steroid muscled image vs the natural bodied, performing, well paced Escort... What do you as Clients find most beneficial when hiring an Escort~

Tyger

[email protected]

971.400.2633

http://www.tygerscent.biz

Men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Portland

Rentmen.com AAAtygerscentxxx Tyger in Portland

Daddy's reviews: Tyger in Portland Oregon.

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