Anonymity

[Guest Starbuck]

The only problem I run into is remembering that I'm "Sam" when I meet the escort. I've twice used my real first name slip as I'm introducing myself.

 

Whoa! I haven't revealed my last name to an escort, but never considered a phony first one.

[down_to_business]

This is sound advice and I have a separate account as well. The only problem I run into is remembering that I'm "Sam" when I meet the escort. I've twice used my real first name slip as I'm introducing myself at the first face to face meeting to only get a 'deer in the headlights' response from the escort worried that he had double booked.

 

You can use your real first name without worrying too much about giving up your anonymity. If you are uncomfortable using your real first name, use something that you will easily remember, like a variation of your name (i.e. Bobby for Robert), your middle name, or the same alias consistently so you don't forget it.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

You can use your real first name without worrying too much about giving up your anonymity. If you are uncomfortable using your real first name, use something that you will easily remember, like a variation of your name (i.e. Bobby for Robert), your middle name, or the same alias consistently so you don't forget it.

 

The funny thing is "Sam" is a nickname that I respond to in my real life, so that's why I initially chose to use it. I just didn't realize that I don't ever use it myself.

[tom1980]

I don't give escorts my last name, address, home phone number, real email address, etc., but I do share general information. For example, I'll admit to being a married, tell them my profession, tell them how many children I have, and answer similar questions that could possibly allow an escort who wants to spend many hours trying to figure out my identity to do so.

 

For those of you who don't understand how having an escort over to your house would reveal your identity, I have to ask: Aren't property ownership and tax records public in your state(s)? They have been public record in all four of the states I've lived in.

[tom1980]

I just saw that not2rowdy explained in another thread (http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?94440-Client-Verification-Taboo) how to find the owner of property in North Carolina (not one of the 4 states I've lived in, but it's a similar process in those states). I guess I could claim to be renting the house to hide my identity, but if the escort Googled the owner's name, it probably wouldn't take long to figure out I'm really the owner.

[+ purplekow]

Perhaps I am naive or especially oblivious but I make no effort to hide my identity. I have paid escorts with personal checks. i have given some of them my business card with the idea that they may need to contact me. I am not especially fond of the idea of it becoming common knowledge that I hire escorts but I cannot imagine why anyone would want to make that known. i understand that there are those whose life would be in upheaval should hiring information become public. i also realize that there are some who might be subject to blackmail and so anonymity may be crucial but that is not my situation. I do take precautions if I am having someone come to my home or hotel. i do keep valuables out of sight or in a safe. But I also do that if cleaning people are coming or repairmen. So, in short, I may no special precautions because it is an escort coming to meet me.

Now the one thing i have done is hire well reviewed escorts only. No backpage. No Craig's List. No picking up at an escort bar.

[Guest boiworship08]

The funny thing is "Sam" is a nickname that I respond to in my real life, so that's why I initially chose to use it. I just didn't realize that I don't ever use it myself.

 

I use a fake first and last name that is the same as my separate email. I also use a pay as you go phone associated with that name. Although I'm single and semi- out, I do value my privacy.

[Phil_musc]

PK, you and I must suffer from the same naiveté on this issue. I've never felt the need to come up with some sort of alias - it's just too "cloak-and-dagger" for me. I can't really imagine that an escort would have the time or inclination to find out anything else about me - I'm clearly not rich, I lead a pretty simple uncomplicated life. What would be the gain?

[daviddd49]

You can use your real first name without worrying too much about giving up your anonymity. If you are uncomfortable using your real first name, use something that you will easily remember, like a variation of your name (i.e. Bobby for Robert), your middle name, or the same alias consistently so you don't forget it.

 

That is precisely correct; I do one of those, and it works for me. I don't really expect it to cover my identity for very long. I figure that, if I enjoy an Escort enough to want to see him again, it's only a matter of time before sufficient details about my identity will come out in conversations, etc. Even such mundane matters as dinner reservations can give away my full name ... so, I usually wait until I'm comfortable enough with an Escort before I allow that kind of thing to happen.

[Epigonos]

My only problem with using an alias is that I would NEVER remember the damn name let alone answer to it. This is just WAY too much trouble for me.

[Buddy15]

After reading posts on Daddy's for a couple of weeks, I'm curious about how often clients surrender their anonymity and let an escort know exactly who they are. I'm especially interested to hear thoughts/experience on this from those who have been hiring for a long time, or have repeat engagements with particular escorts ... and, also, to know if there are some of you who think this is never a good idea.

 

I am not real comfortable giving my last name but in many hotels if someone calls you they just can't ask for a room number. They have to give the guest's name as well. How do you handle this?

[Guest Starbuck]

I am not real comfortable giving my last name but in many hotels if someone calls you they just can't ask for a room number. They have to give the guest's name as well. How do you handle this?

 

Absolutely true--but can't the communication take place on your cell phone instead of through your hotel room phone?

[instudiocity]

I am not real comfortable giving my last name but in many hotels if someone calls you they just can't ask for a room number. They have to give the guest's name as well. How do you handle this?

If anonymity is that important to you, get a pre-paid cell phone, paid for in cash, and use it for communicating with those you're seeing.

[down_to_business]

I am not real comfortable giving my last name but in many hotels if someone calls you they just can't ask for a room number. They have to give the guest's name as well. How do you handle this?

 

Using your cell phone instead of the hotel phone is a good suggestion. If you absolutely want to use the hotel's phone system and protect your anonymity, you can add your alias to your room. This way when the escort calls your hotel room and asks to be connected to "John Smith", the call is connected to your room and your own secret identity stays secret.

[chelseanyc]

I was recently with an inexperienced escort. We ended up talking about a particular industry/topic and he said out of the blue "do you know XXXXX?". Based on our conversation up til that point, I knew he was totally ignorant of that business and its industry leaders, so it was clear this businessman had used the services of this escort. I don't believe this escort had a malicious bone in his body, but he clearly didn't know the basics of discretion so I was glad I hadn't given him my real name, lest he discuss me to other clients.

[Epigonos]

You know guys the ABSOLUTE truth is that if ABSOLUTE anonymity is an ABSOLUTE requirement then one SHOULD NOT be hiring escorts simply because there is NO WAY to guarantee ABSOLUTE anonymity. Now that is an ABSOLUTE fact!!!!!

[gallahadesquire]

You know guys the ABSOLUTE truth is that if ABSOLUTE anonymity is an ABSOLUTE requirement then one SHOULD NOT be hiring escorts simply because there is NO WAY to guarantee ABSOLUTE anonymity. Now that is an ABSOLUTE fact!!!!!

 

I NEVER overgeneralize.

[adriano46]

I have only revealed my full name and background to three escorts. One has become a truly trusted friend over the years and never ever used this against me; the second has become also a friend, and often teases me in e-mails and letters, but it is innocent and he too would never betray that trust. However the third tried to blackmail me threatening to out me (and other clients of his) in a tell-all book he threatened to publish about his years as an escort on both sides of the Atlantic. Fortunately I was in a position at the time that the blackmail would not have seriously impacted my work or position (later, definitely YES but at the time he tried this, I could simply change my contact info and move on) and it seems he sadly passed away before the book ever saw the light of day.

 

From that I have learned to be discreet and careful, knowing (and accepting wholeheartedly) what Epigonos wrote above about ABSOLUTE anonymity and all of its pitfalls.

 

I hire using a pseudonym which I have used for two decades and feel comfortable enough employing. I also have developed over the years a description of my real work that is actually a mirror of what I do - not the job or profession, but the general outlines of it seen from a totally different perspective - so that, as inevitably happens when the escort, in the afterglow of some hot and sweaty sex, looks up and bats his eyes and asks innocently, "So what do you do for a living?" I have something to say which says... nothing.

 

I also generally hire only in hotels when visiting an area (using my cell phone - and a number that is hard to trace back to ME as it seems to have fortuitously been owned by a couple from Central America who skipped town years back owing a LOT of people money. I still get occasional calls from their creditors who did a check and came up with "my" number - and whenever I check this same number (using those internet services) I come up with the couple's names and an address in a place I never lived. So, it is helpful for my "cover".

 

Whether in my hotel room or my home (a very very rare occurrence), I clean the area of anything personal. The computer is turned off and put away in its case; my wallet is locked away, personal jewelry is put away in drawers that are not easily accessible, and my bathroom has products that I do not mind if they go missing (I always provide for example, new mouthwash, a new toothbrush, various soaps and shampoos, hair product etc... and make sure even my medications (all pretty normal things) are well hidden. The fee is ALWAYS in the open and in an envelope; thank God I never had those scenes where someone scoops up the money and runs.

 

IF -- and this is a BIG "IF" - I really like a guy and see him more than once, we might exchange real names, but my real name is easily "googled" with my profession, status, etc... and although not a recognized famous name, it is out there so I rarely give out this information. In fact... in the last decade, I have never divulged it willingly or wittingly.

 

On the other side, 3 or 4 escorts whom I have seen in recent years have given me their real names (and one or two of them have real jobs that are easily discoverable, and they know it by giving me their names). There is trust. I never ever use their real name when we are in public; even today when we are having sex, I continue to call one guy by his stage name and he laughs about it as he knows that I know his real name and is more surprised I still refuse to use it. This guy is so able to carry two personas that I am jealous, but he is also a rare guy among escorts.

 

Very recently I met two new guys and clicked with both of them. One guy openly told me his stage name and real name are the exact same; he is refreshingly open about his work, his background - everything, and is one heck of a hot hire. The other is a guy I would like to see over and over down the line, a guy in his mid- to late 40's in real years, HOT, sexy, and interesting, and he again spoke to me of his real job and place of work - and I assume he felt the same trust and confidence in me when sharing that information. Whether we get into exchanging real names will be a question down the line.

 

How great it would be to not hide behind anonymity but in the real world where there are high class, trustworthy, honest and sexy escorts mixed with more common, devious, dishonest (in advertising, services and persona) hustlers... anonymity still reigns. I tip my hat too those clients here on this forum and out there who are comfortable enough in their life at this point to be openly out, up front and "themselves" with both other clients and with escorts. You are the guys I openly admire and secretly envy.

[robberbaron4u]

In my opinion, Epigonos has stated the truth of the matter.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I know that every escort I have ever been with has known my real name. And, with only one exception I can think of, there is only one escort that I have ever seen that I don't know their real name. Most of the guys I see, I become friends with. Most very close personal friends. We know a great deal about each others' lives. Partners, ex-partners, spouse and kids (in my case), jobs, family background. You name it, we have and do talk about it.

 

Every single one of my escorts have met my partner on multiple occasions. I would wager my partner may have spent more time with Daddy this year than any single forum member. It's been tough for him learning their stage names and having to translate to their real names because that is how he knows them -- as our friends, with their real names. Yes, he knows my relationships with them and has no problems with that. I told him I hired escorts on our second date. His answer became our typical answer for when something was no big deal: "Whatever". And he has no problem with them knowing his name either. A couple of have been to his house. And he has never hired anyone. They are simply friends because they are my friends.

 

Where it gets confusing sometimes for me is when I bring them together sometimes. Networking has helped them make connection in other cities, as well as creating friendships in the industry too. But I always have to get clearance ahead of time: do I use your real name or stage name. And then remembering. Especially in the heat of the moment. Because at that moment, I will tend to revert to the real name because that to me is more intimate.

 

And it isn't only escorts. How many guys here, how many forum members here know my real name? A dozen or more? How many have my cell phone and email to get hold of me whenever they want to?

 

I'm probably just too naive for my own good I guess. But I don't think I could be anything other than me. The line I use to describe myself best comes from the movie Shrek: "I have the right to remain silent. What I lack is the ability".

 

I've often wondered why I do have the relationships I have with so many guys. Guys I consider the tops in the industry. EOYs, 1st & 2nd runner ups, other top of the list guys. But maybe it's because I consider them first and foremost friends. Friends with incredible benefits. Naive? Somewhat, yeah. But I treat them no differently than any other friend. The same courtesy and concern and care I would for any other friend in my life. It blows away any anonymity immediately. But for me it opens up incredible relationships with men who have brought so much to my life.

[Diverdan]

Hi Lee,

As I have told you several times, you are a very exceptional guy. Most would never be comfortable with the degree of openness that you have, but it is just who you are. Most of the guys whom I have gotten to know well, know my real name and a lot about me. However, like Lee, I know them well and trust them. Fortunately, I have never had a problem. However, that mutual trust does not happen automatically nor on first contact. It comes about over time, at least for me. With one guy, I have accompanied him on outings with his son (he is divorced so the wife was not involved), helped him celebrate birthdays with him and his friends, and was introduced by him to his friends as just another friend who happened to be from out of town. I travel a lot for work, so I do have a lot of friends around the country, so it is pretty easy to handle the situation in that way. But each of us has to find our own comfort level with disclosure, but as Lee has said, intimacy grows as anonymity decreases IMHO.

DD

[+ WilliamM]

 

I'm probably just too naive for my own good I guess. But I don't think I could be anything other than me. The line I use to describe myself best comes from the movie Shrek: "I have the right to remain silent. What I lack is the ability".

 

I've often wondered why I do have the relationships I have with so many guys. Guys I consider the tops in the industry. EOYs, 1st & 2nd runner ups, other top of the list guys. But maybe it's because I consider them first and foremost friends. Friends with incredible benefits. Naive? Somewhat, yeah. But I treat them no differently than any other friend. The same courtesy and concern and care I would for any other friend in my life. It blows away any anonymity immediately. But for me it opens up incredible relationships with men who have brought so much to my life.

 

Every escorts I have ever hired knows my name as well. Yes, you are somewhat naive, I believe, in calling so many people friends. I grew up in New England, and perhaps have a too narrow view of the term 'friend.' You deserve a lot of credit for changing your life in such a positive way (just going by what I have read on this site).

[tyro]

My boys all know my name too. And I know theirs.

T

[bigvalboy]

Well none of the guys that I hire know my real name, and I don't want to know theirs. An escort once told me his real name and I inadvertently kept calling him by his advertised age, he got irritated, but I like the anonymity of it all. The truth is that very few of the guys we hire will become real friends. There are exceptions of course, as in the case of Lee, but I believe that there is a time and place for everything. On those rare occasions when someone breaks through that private threshold, I have cautiously revealed that part of me. Only one person in my family knows my address, and no one has been to my house. This is all clearly a personal choice that I am comfortable with. I admire those that can give so freely of themselves, but me...no so much.

[MiamiLooker]

...I inadvertently kept calling him by his advertised age...

That's a funny slip