Married Guys Who Cheat

[EZEtoGRU]

There is a young married guy I met on Craigslist about 3 years ago that I see 2-3 times per year. He is now in his late 20's......married and with children. He is one of the very few real jewels I have met on Criagslist anywhere (most are complete duds). Handsome guy with short blond hair. Nice build and about 8 inches.

 

The location is suburban Detroit and I think he likes my setup which is a hotel in the 'burbs that has a free parking deck in the back from which one can enter directly into the hotel without being seen by anyone on the street. He can come straight up to my room on the elevator without requiring a room key. It's totally discreet. At the time I initially met him I don't think he had much experience hooking up with guys. Our hook-ups have consisted mainly of oral and mostly me doing him (which I am totally OK with). He has a very short window when he can slip in this sort of activity which is between 3:30pm-4:30pm (after work and before he goes home to the family). I normally e-mail him the morning of the day I will be available at the hotel. He responds if he is available or not. (Sometimes yes and sometimes no). If yes, we agree a time, he turns up, immediately strips and hops in the shower to clean off, we play, we cum, and he leaves.......all in about 20 minutes. There is no money exchanged during these encounters BTW.

 

 

So I am in Michigan and I send him an e-mail this morning. He responds back that he is available and would like to bring a buddy that he plays with from time to time. We exchanged a few e-mails to discuss the specifics of what would happen. We agreed a time. They came to my room, showered together, we all played together and they left just now. We all had a good time. Everyone was rock hard and everyone busted a nut. It was a strictly oral encounter for all of us........which is perfectly fine by me.

 

The reason for this thread is as follows: I was quite fascinated with the verbal interaction between them when they came in, during their shower, and after the sex. Both talking about their wives and kids and plans for the summer. I do not think they are friends.....strictly the occasional sex hook-up. Also they were discussing how much time they had before they had to leave. My guy had a max of 25 minutes....his buddy had up to an hour. Interestingly, the buddy commented before the shower that neither should get their hair wet for fear of drawing suspicion from the wives. I was quite surprised how easy it was for them to undertake this activity knowing they are cheating on the wives.......and almost laughing about it. They think carefully about not doing anything (getting hair wet) that will raise any eyebrows with the wife.

 

Did you ever have hookups with married guys? Did anything about it surprise you?

[Frequentflier]

There is a young married guy I met on Craigslist about 3 years ago that I see 2-3 times per year. He is now in his late 20's......married and with children. He is one of the very few real jewels I have met on Criagslist anywhere (most are complete duds). Handsome guy with short blond hair. Nice build and about 8 inches.

 

The location is suburban Detroit and I think he likes my setup which is a hotel in the 'burbs that has a free parking deck in the back from which one can enter directly into the hotel without being seen by anyone on the street. He can come straight up to my room on the elevator without requiring a room key. It's totally discreet. At the time I initially met him I don't think he had much experience hooking up with guys. Our hook-ups have consisted mainly of oral and mostly me doing him (which I am totally OK with). He has a very short window when he can slip in this sort of activity which is between 3:30pm-4:30pm (after work and before he goes home to the family). I normally e-mail him the morning of the day I will be available at the hotel. He responds if he is available or not. (Sometimes yes and sometimes no). If yes, we agree a time, he turns up, immediately strips and hops in the shower to clean off, we play, we cum, and he leaves.......all in about 20 minutes. There is no money exchanged during these encounters BTW.

 

 

So I am in Michigan and I send him an e-mail this morning. He responds back that he is available and would like to bring a buddy that he plays with from time to time. We exchanged a few e-mails to discuss the specifics of what would happen. We agreed a time. They came to my room, showered together, we all played together and they left just now. We all had a good time. Everyone was rock hard and everyone busted a nut. It was a strictly oral encounter for all of us........which is perfectly fine by me.

 

The reason for this thread is as follows: I was quite fascinated with the verbal interaction between them when they came in, during their shower, and after the sex. Both talking about their wives and kids and plans for the summer. I do not think they are friends.....strictly the occasional sex hook-up. Also they were discussing how much time they had before they had to leave. My guy had a max of 25 minutes....his buddy had up to an hour. Interestingly, the buddy commented before the shower that neither should get their hair wet for fear of drawing suspicion from the wives. I was quite surprised how easy it was for them to undertake this activity knowing they are cheating on the wives.......and almost laughing about it. They think carefully about not doing anything (getting hair wet) that will raise any eyebrows with the wife.

 

Did you ever have hookups with married guys? Did anything about it surprise you?

 

Wow, you lead a charmed life! Nice arrangement and like that there are guys like this out there. I just haven't connected with any - and to be fair don't actually try - so my fault I guess.

[leigh.bess.toad]

T

Did you ever have hookups with married guys? Did anything about it surprise you?

 

I don't know. I'd have to ask the guys I hooked up with if I surprised them before I came out to my wife, when I was that guy. But it was nothing like your situation, I can tell you that.

[BallerBoy]

Did you ever have hookups with married guys?

 

Yes.. I met him 2 yrs ago on a hook up phone app. He was in his late 20s college educated upward bound with a beautiful wife. He was about 6'2 lite complexion and nearly perfect. He and I would hook up and my place, and we'd have atleast two sessions before he leaves. The sexual energy was off the meter with this guy.He bottomed for for and loved taking my big dick. But of course nothing good can last for long. I did the unthinkable by "catching feelings" for this guy. I did my best to hide it from him because I didn't want to make him freak out and begin worrying about my emotional stability. I knew what we were doing was wrong, but he was so affectionate and perfect for me (at least that's what my heart wanted to believe). Anyway, after two months of incredible sex, he eventually moved on. I think I scared him by becoming interested in him beyond the bedroom... I will NEVER sleep with someone else's Man again.

 

 

 

 

Did anything about it surprise you?

 

I was surprised at his willingness to bottom for me. He was very masculine, yet he wanted to try it with me. I was honored lol... I was also surprised and disappointed at how I allowed myself to engage a married man in the first place.. And lastly, I was surprised and saddened at how easy it is for a married guy to move on and pretend you never existed.. It was all a very painful lesson.

[EZEtoGRU]

Yes.. I met him 2 yrs ago on a hook up phone app. He was in his late 20s college educated upward bound with a beautiful wife. He was about 6'2 lite complexion and nearly perfect. He and I would hook up and my place, and we'd have atleast two sessions before he leaves. The sexual energy was off the meter with this guy.He bottomed for for and loved taking my big dick. But of course nothing good can last for long. I did the unthinkable by "catching feelings" for this guy. I did my best to hide it from him because I didn't want to make him freak out and begin worrying about my emotional stability. I knew what we were doing was wrong, but he was so affectionate and perfect for me (at least that's what my heart wanted to believe). Anyway, after two months of incredible sex, he eventually moved on. I think I scared him by becoming interested in him beyond the bedroom... I will NEVER sleep with someone else's Man again.

 

I was surprised at his willingness to bottom for me. He was very masculine, yet he wanted to try it with me. I was honored lol... I was also surprised and disappointed at how I allowed myself to engage a married man in the first place.. And lastly, I was surprised and saddened at how easy it is for a married guy to move on and pretend you never existed.. It was all a very painful lesson.

 

Your big mistake was falling for the guy. I am under no illusions about my guy. For him, its strictly to get off with a guy. I may be in lust.......but not in love or even in like. He's hot, with a big piece, and he is alright hooking up with an older guy (even his buddy today was a few years older than he is). I prefer married guys or guys with girlfriends. Just works better for me. They are uncomplicated and enjoy the attention. I'm not really looking for a relationship and neither are they.

[EZEtoGRU]

Wow, you lead a charmed life! Nice arrangement and like that there are guys like this out there. I just haven't connected with any - and to be fair don't actually try - so my fault I guess.

 

Not easy to find them. I have one similar situation at home with a guy in Houston. He is mid-30's and married with kids. He is quite attractive and he likes oral from a guy. It does not go further than that......and I'm not looking for more than that.

[BallerBoy]

Yeah, I've kicked myself many times for falling for someone who was obviously unavailable to me. I told myself it wouldn't happen, but this guy had a way of making even the hardest hearts melt. And you're right about married guys being uncomplicated. They can literally move on from you without any pomp and circumstance. Most of them get their sexual curiosities met before stepping off to the next conquest.

 

If that works for you, fine, but I'm too compassionate a guy to risk falling for someone so cold.

[EZEtoGRU]

If that works for you, fine, but I'm too compassionate a guy to risk falling for someone so cold.

 

Sounds to me like you shouldn't be hooking up with anyone for casual sex (irrespective of marital status or sexual orientation) if you keep falling for your conquests and have fragile emotions. Gay men can also be cold and calculating as far as NSA connections go. Seems like you should be looking for dating rather than sex hook-ups.

[Mac64]

EZ, I think your threesome needs to be upgraded to a foursome! LOL! Suburban Detroit guy here who would be happy to take on that role. Very nice arrangement, have perused Craigslist before and have had converstations with a few gents but never found one I was comfortable enough to follow through with. And if you're at the hotel I am thinking of, it brings back great memories from numerous meetings there with one of my first and favorites, the now retired Sean Knight.

[EZEtoGRU]

EZ, I think your threesome needs to be upgraded to a foursome! LOL! Suburban Detroit guy here who would be happy to take on that role. Very nice arrangement, have perused Craigslist before and have had converstations with a few gents but never found one I was comfortable enough to follow through with. And if you're at the hotel I am thinking of, it brings back great memories from numerous meetings there with one of my first and favorites, the now retired Sean Knight.

LOL. It was nice today.......although, truth be told, I prefer one-on-one with the original guy. Not at all easy to find this sort of set-up anywhere. Craigslist is mostly a big waste of time. I am struck at how blasé these guys are about the cheating aspect of what they are doing. Doesn't seem to phase them at all. Hook-up was in Troy by the way.

[+ azdr0710]

hey EZE.....good to hear your story.....can I ask which category within CL you have the best luck with regarding hooking up with married/masculine guys?....and, in trying to answer your cheating concern, I'm wondering if these guys don't really count it as "cheating" because it's with a dude and not a chick?.....I know that's not a revelation, but trying to understand the casual non-concern these guys have that you mention....thanks

[EZEtoGRU]

hey EZE.....good to hear your story.....can I ask which category within CL you have the best luck with regarding hooking up with married/masculine guys?....and, in trying to answer your cheating concern, I'm wondering if these guys don't really count it as "cheating" because it's with a dude and not a chick?.....I know that's not a revelation, but trying to understand the casual non-concern these guys have that you mention....thanks

 

Hi Az. I posted in Casual Encounters on CL when I first me him some 3 years ago. However, I repeat, I have not had good luck with CL overall. This guy in Detroit is the rare exception. Don't get your hopes up too much.

 

Agree with your comments on the cheating aspect. It may also be that they don't consider a strictly physical encounter to be cheating.....ie no emotional or romantic connection.....no kissing. There was nothing romantic or emotional about what the three of us did today. Just blowjobs and cumshots. LOL.

[+ Travis69]

I do not condone cheating but I do think in some cases it actually saves a marriage if the guy is able to quench his thirst for something he needs but is not getting in his marriage. I just don't understand why they get married in the first place if they know they will not be sexually satisfied in the confines of the marriage.

[+ Gar1eth]

I don't know if I'd be satisfied with this. I mean I'm glad the OP is. But if all I want to do is cum- I can sometimes masturbate ( the older I get the more stimulation I need- sometimes it's easier for someone else to jerk me off than me jerking me off - old age is really wonderful). But anyway- the whole reason I hire is to get what I can't get by myself. When I first started hiring, I couldn't imagine myself with a boyfriend or even going out on a date with a guy. But I was lonely for that - so I hired. I'm not sure if I had been brave enough to come out earlier in my life whether I would have ever hired at all. Now even though I'd like to date- it still doesn't work out of me. So assuming I had a job right now- I'd hire. But kissing is major for me- and I don't like giving oral that much. I can do it a little bit. But I have TMJ- plus while a double standard- all I can think about is what might I be catching from doing this- even though I love receiving oral. So not that any hot bi- married stud is going to fall into my bed- or a gay one either. But in some fantasy land where they might- if this was all that was going to happen- I'd probably skip it-it would be too frustrating without kissing or being able to top them- and just give myself a hand or two.

 

Gman

[want2bwrestled]

OK - here's a different perspective because I'm the married guy with kids. For as long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with hot looking men. And truthfully, it's always been the upper body for me. Don't get me completely wrong - I like giving head and like getting blown too - but nothing beats a guy with a perfect looking chest - strong, some hair, sensitive nips - you get the picture. Damn, wish I could find a married friend into the same thing. And last but certainly not least, I love my wife and love being a father. I just can't get the passion at home like I can with an escort. There - I feel a huge weight just lift off me.

[tom1980]

I do not condone cheating but I do think in some cases it actually saves a marriage if the guy is able to quench his thirst for something he needs but is not getting in his marriage. I just don't understand why they get married in the first place if they know they will not be sexually satisfied in the confines of the marriage.

 

You assume the guys will know before getting married that their wives won't be enough to fully satisfy them sexually. I never had sex with a guy until after I was married (to a woman). I can't speak for the guys EZ hooked up with, but I can tell you my personal take on his question.

 

The first time I decided to have sex with someone other than my wife, I didn't make the decision lightly. I thought about hiring a male escort for years before I made the decision to do so. A lot of factors went into that decision. In no particular order, the following influenced my personal choice:

 

1. I knew I would never be happy until I explored my attraction to other men. I love my wife and enjoy having sex with her, but there was something missing from my sexual experience, and I needed to figure out what it was.

 

2. I didn't have a lot of sexual experience before I got married. I got married fairly young and come from a religious background. After I was married for a few years and had more experience with sex, it became much less sacred to me. Based on my personal experience and talking with friends, I realized that sex was not a mystical activity that transformed relationships into something special or unique (as my religious indoctrination tried to make me believe). I began feeling like sex was something that could be enjoyed without commitment, which is a belief shared by my wife.

 

3. I did not want a relationship. I just wanted to try sex with another guy. I also didn't want to work to pick up a guy (I'll also admit to thinking it was unlikely that I could pick up an attractive guy). I was earning plenty of money and saw numerous very attractive guys advertising. The opportunity provided by escorts finally proved too enticing to pass up.

 

4. My first hire was an impulse decision. I was in Las Vegas with some friends and spent the whole weekend (Friday through Monday) intoxicated. The second afternoon, I had lost a couple thousand dollars gambling and was rather drunk. I told my friends I was going to take a nap to get ready for the night's festivities and avoid losing more money. When I got up to my room, I decided to go for a sure thing. I checked out rentboy and started calling guys. The 3rd or 4th guy I called answered his phone and was available to come to my hotel room right away.

 

5. I am selfish and really wanted to do it. I hate to admit it, but there it is.

 

6. My wife and I were having marital problems. I was pissed off at her and used that as an excuse. Ultimately, I do believe that hiring escorts helps me give my wife and children more attention. I do not act as kindly when I go too long without hiring. Is that a justification or rationalization? I'm sure it is, at least in part. I have enough self awareness to know that I do this for myself and not to protect my wife. However, hiring escorts does make my marriage happier. This outlet also helped me move away from a path of self destruction and pain I was heading down.

 

If my wife found out about this part of my life and confronted me tomorrow, I'd tell her much the same thing that I've written here. The hardest part about cheating was making the decision to do it the first time. For a couple of months after that first Vegas hire, I kept waiting to feel bad or feel like I had betrayed my wife in some terrible way. I felt a little bit of guilt, but I never felt like I had done something terrible to her. We were both much happier than we had been in a long time. Perhaps I was giving her extra attention to assuage my guilt, but I was also more pleasant to be around because I was a happier person in general. I used the improvement to justify my behavior.

 

After a few months, I had to try it again. The second time I hired, I met a truly wonderful man. He is one of the very highly regarded escorts who has been talked about on this site. He had been escorting for a while already and had lots of married clients. He took a personal interest in me and gave me an outlet to talk to about my marriage and my desires. I saw him a few times before I started also hiring other escorts. Each time I hired a new guy, it got easier.

 

Today, I fully understand those guys EZ met with. I've had the same thought about not getting my hair wet when I shower at the end of a meeting. I also avoid masseurs who use scented oils and other scents/odors (like escorts who smoke or who use too much cologne) that might seems strange to my wife. I know that I'm not going to change my hiring practices anytime soon. I confess to lacking self control and also having no desire to change. That probably sounds callous, but I never claimed to be a perfect husband, not even to my wife. She knows my flaws better than anyone, and even if she does not know about this specific behavior, she knows of other behaviors that are based on the same personality flaws.

 

This turned out to be a much longer and more open answer than I had intended to provide. However, this is a subject matter that I felt very qualified to address.

 

Tom

 

P.S. By posting this, I'm not looking for approval or sympathy from others. I'm sure other married guys can sympathize, but we all have our own reasons for doing this. I'm sure many who read my message above will decide I'm scum, and that is also fine. I simply wanted to provide my perspective on what seemed to be a sincere attempt to understand how guys could make a statement like the one EZ heard.

[+ Travis69]

You assume the guys will know before getting married that their wives won't be enough to fully satisfy them sexually. I never had sex with a guy until after I was married (to a woman). I can't speak for the guys EZ hooked up with, but I can tell you my personal take on his question.

 

The first time I decided to have sex with someone other than my wife, I didn't make the decision lightly. I thought about hiring a male escort for years before I made the decision to do so. A lot of factors went into that decision. In no particular order, the following influenced my personal choice:

 

1. I knew I would never be happy until I explored my attraction to other men. I love my wife and enjoy having sex with her, but there was something missing from my sexual experience, and I needed to figure out what it was.

 

2. I didn't have a lot of sexual experience before I got married. I got married fairly young and come from a religious background. After I was married for a few years and had more experience with sex, it became much less sacred to me. Based on my personal experience and talking with friends, I realized that sex was not a mystical activity that transformed relationships into something special or unique (as my religious indoctrination tried to make me believe). I began feeling like sex was something that could be enjoyed without commitment, which is a belief shared by my wife.

 

3. I did not want a relationship. I just wanted to try sex with another guy. I also didn't want to work to pick up a guy (I'll also admit to thinking it was unlikely that I could pick up an attractive guy). I was earning plenty of money and saw numerous very attractive guys advertising. The opportunity provided by escorts finally proved too enticing to pass up.

 

4. My first hire was an impulse decision. I was in Las Vegas with some friends and spent the whole weekend (Friday through Monday) intoxicated. The second afternoon, I had lost a couple thousand dollars gambling and was rather drunk. I told my friends I was going to take a nap to get ready for the night's festivities and avoid losing more money. When I got up to my room, I decided to go for a sure thing. I checked out rentboy and started calling guys. The 3rd or 4th guy I called answered his phone and was available to come to my hotel room right away.

 

5. I am selfish and really wanted to do it. I hate to admit it, but there it is.

 

6. My wife and I were having marital problems. I was pissed off at her and used that as an excuse. Ultimately, I do believe that hiring escorts helps me give my wife and children more attention. I do not act as kindly when I go too long without hiring. Is that a justification or rationalization? I'm sure it is, at least in part. I have enough self awareness to know that I do this for myself and not to protect my wife. However, hiring escorts does make my marriage happier. This outlet also helped me move away from a path of self destruction and pain I was heading down.

 

If my wife found out about this part of my life and confronted me tomorrow, I'd tell her much the same thing that I've written here. The hardest part about cheating was making the decision to do it the first time. For a couple of months after that first Vegas hire, I kept waiting to feel bad or feel like I had betrayed my wife in some terrible way. I felt a little bit of guilt, but I never felt like I had done something terrible to her. We were both much happier than we had been in a long time. Perhaps I was giving her extra attention to assuage my guilt, but I was also more pleasant to be around because I was a happier person in general. I used the improvement to justify my behavior.

 

After a few months, I had to try it again. The second time I hired, I met a truly wonderful man. He is one of the very highly regarded escorts who has been talked about on this site. He had been escorting for a while already and had lots of married clients. He took a personal interest in me and gave me an outlet to talk to about my marriage and my desires. I saw him a few times before I started also hiring other escorts. Each time I hired a new guy, it got easier.

 

Today, I fully understand those guys EZ met with. I've had the same thought about not getting my hair wet when I shower at the end of a meeting. I also avoid masseurs who use scented oils and other scents/odors (like escorts who smoke or who use too much cologne) that might seems strange to my wife. I know that I'm not going to change my hiring practices anytime soon. I confess to lacking self control and also having no desire to change. That probably sounds callous, but I never claimed to be a perfect husband, not even to my wife. She knows my flaws better than anyone, and even if she does not know about this specific behavior, she knows of other behaviors that are based on the same personality flaws.

 

This turned out to be a much longer and more open answer than I had intended to provide. However, this is a subject matter that I felt very qualified to address.

 

Tom

 

P.S. By posting this, I'm not looking for approval or sympathy from others. I'm sure other married guys can sympathize, but we all have our own reasons for doing this. I'm sure many who read my message above will decide I'm scum, and that is also fine. I simply wanted to provide my perspective on what seemed to be a sincere attempt to understand how guys could make a statement like the one EZ heard.

 

I said "IF they know".

[Guest verymarried]

Without boring you with all my life situation etc, I wanted to make one point about all this. Did you know that you are good at sex? real good? When I started having sex in my college years, it was with guys only. I felt I was no better or worse at love making than the next guy. In my late 20's I had my first sex with a woman, then with another and another and another woman. I discovered that I had gained a "reputation" among good looking young woman in my town as "an amazing lover." I was shocked. "Me?" - the guy who was unsure even of my capability to satisfy a woman and the one who was just so-so with the guys, is now some legendary sexual being with the women?? What I learned is that men teach you how to have sex and women love the lessons we have learned from other guys. Hard to fathom. I learned from listening to the women that most str8 guys (even the hot ones we lust after) stick it in, get off and roll off to sleep. Nothing like what we do.

[Michael Wayne]

Let me answer from the escorts' point of view. I dont think alot of Daddys members realize just how HIGH a percentage the married clients make of our total client base. Most (not all) but most Daddys members are gay men who are out. In my case over 75% of my client base are currently married men with kids/grandkids. As a masculine sports loving jock these clients are very comfortable around me. They have NO desire to leave their wife and they know that the leading escorts offer 100% discretion and will NOT fall for them. So , to me, this behavior is common. Also, many of these married guys are hot and severalk are hotter than me. God I love my job! http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

[tyro]

Truth!

 

Without boring you with all my life situation etc, I wanted to make one point about all this. Did you know that you are good at sex? real good? When I started having sex in my college years, it was with guys only. I felt I was no better or worse at love making than the next guy. In my late 20's I had my first sex with a woman, then with another and another and another woman. I discovered that I had gained a "reputation" among good looking young woman in my town as "an amazing lover." I was shocked. "Me?" - the guy who was unsure even of my capability to satisfy a woman and the one who was just so-so with the guys, is now some legendary sexual being with the women?? What I learned is that men teach you how to have sex and women love the lessons we have learned from other guys. Hard to fathom. I learned from listening to the women that most str8 guys (even the hot ones we lust after) stick it in, get off and roll off to sleep. Nothing like what we do.

 

VM, the last four sentences are some of the truest I've ever read.

T

[cany10011]

Does it count as cheating if you are having sex with a guy? Some "straight" friends of mine will actually hook up with other guys when away for work because they promised their wives they would not cheat (with another women). To me, sex is shared intimacy and i'm not sure if "cheating" with someone of the same gender would be any different than hiring a female escort.

 

 

 

 

There is a young married guy I met on Craigslist about 3 years ago that I see 2-3 times per year. He is now in his late 20's......married and with children. He is one of the very few real jewels I have met on Criagslist anywhere (most are complete duds). Handsome guy with short blond hair. Nice build and about 8 inches.

 

The location is suburban Detroit and I think he likes my setup which is a hotel in the 'burbs that has a free parking deck in the back from which one can enter directly into the hotel without being seen by anyone on the street. He can come straight up to my room on the elevator without requiring a room key. It's totally discreet. At the time I initially met him I don't think he had much experience hooking up with guys. Our hook-ups have consisted mainly of oral and mostly me doing him (which I am totally OK with). He has a very short window when he can slip in this sort of activity which is between 3:30pm-4:30pm (after work and before he goes home to the family). I normally e-mail him the morning of the day I will be available at the hotel. He responds if he is available or not. (Sometimes yes and sometimes no). If yes, we agree a time, he turns up, immediately strips and hops in the shower to clean off, we play, we cum, and he leaves.......all in about 20 minutes. There is no money exchanged during these encounters BTW.

 

 

So I am in Michigan and I send him an e-mail this morning. He responds back that he is available and would like to bring a buddy that he plays with from time to time. We exchanged a few e-mails to discuss the specifics of what would happen. We agreed a time. They came to my room, showered together, we all played together and they left just now. We all had a good time. Everyone was rock hard and everyone busted a nut. It was a strictly oral encounter for all of us........which is perfectly fine by me.

 

The reason for this thread is as follows: I was quite fascinated with the verbal interaction between them when they came in, during their shower, and after the sex. Both talking about their wives and kids and plans for the summer. I do not think they are friends.....strictly the occasional sex hook-up. Also they were discussing how much time they had before they had to leave. My guy had a max of 25 minutes....his buddy had up to an hour. Interestingly, the buddy commented before the shower that neither should get their hair wet for fear of drawing suspicion from the wives. I was quite surprised how easy it was for them to undertake this activity knowing they are cheating on the wives.......and almost laughing about it. They think carefully about not doing anything (getting hair wet) that will raise any eyebrows with the wife.

 

Did you ever have hookups with married guys? Did anything about it surprise you?

[bostonman]

Does it count as cheating if you are having sex with a guy? Some "straight" friends of mine will actually hook up with other guys when away for work because they promised their wives they would not cheat (with another women). To me, sex is shared intimacy and i'm not sure if "cheating" with someone of the same gender would be any different than hiring a female escort.

 

I wonder if a lot of straight men (and women) subscribe to the "Bill Clinton" defense - that only vaginal intercourse is *really* sex. I tend to agree with you that shared intimacy, particularly (but not limited to) genital contact should count as sex and would therefore be cheating - but I suspect a lot of people try to rationalize (or even believe) that it's not.

 

I suspect there may also be a number of married women who either know or sense that their husbands are having physical relationships with men "on the DL" and excuse it because it's not perceived as an *emotional* threat to the marriage (and/or excuse it because they can't face the reality of it, etc - as if they don't acknowledge it it's not really happening, etc).

 

I remember an odd experience from when I was in my late 20's - odd especially because I'm not a size queen and am not really into getting fucked - but here I was, off a phone-line hookup, getting fucked by this really nice, sexy, young married guy with a real 9". (I actually met him because I wanted to try getting better at deepthroating, but then he convinced me to let him fuck me - go figure. I'm amazed I survived it, lol, but I remember that he was very good, lol.) I remember talking to him - he knew he was more interested in men, but now had a young child, and felt he needed to stay with his wife for the child's sake (I remember him saying he still loved her a lot - he just was more excited by men sexually). I was also amused (and concerned) that he said he had told her he was just going out to the store...but we spent much more time together than your average grocery trip, lol. So I hope he covered his tracks ok...or hell, maybe she knew?

 

I have a married friend who flirts with me much more than he should - but of course I love the attention (he gives awesome hugs, lol). He knows I'm gay, and given our theatre connections, he's very comfortable around gay men - I tend to want to think that he's secure enough in his own sexuality to be able to have fun flirting, rather than there being any real interest on his part - though there's a part of me that wants to say that's naive, lol. I freely admit I have a crush on him, but I don't dare really act on it - though I flirt back, of course. He's been married for 5 years or so - and he told me a few months ago that he and his wife are expecting a baby. Is it odd to admit that in some ways that makes me want him more, lol? (Siring a child being an affirmation of masculinity, of course). But it also makes me want to back off more - the child also representing a stronger bond in the marriage - something I wouldn't want to get in the middle of, even if it was his idea to initiate something. Well, he makes for nice fantasy material anyway...

[BaronArtz]

OK - here's a different perspective because I'm the married guy with kids. For as long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with hot looking men. And truthfully, it's always been the upper body for me. Don't get me completely wrong - I like giving head and like getting blown too - but nothing beats a guy with a perfect looking chest - strong, some hair, sensitive nips - you get the picture. Damn, wish I could find a married friend into the same thing. And last but certainly not least, I love my wife and love being a father. I just can't get the passion at home like I can with an escort. There - I feel a huge weight just lift off me.

 

First let me say: welcome to this board and thanks for being so open about your emotions and feelings. I am glad to read that a huge weight was lift off you. I hope this will be the beginning of a new exploration for you. Just one thing though: keep in mind that your wife should NEVER find out about this. No woman in the world will forgive you. Even if they say they want 'the honest truth', they don't. Make sure to disguise all your tracks (phone, email, visits to websites like this one). And if you must, always pay cash. I am really serious about this.

[rocky]

I have to add my two cents and mind you I am not a smug person. Cheating is cheating; whether it be an escort who cheats with a married so called "straight" man or who cheats with a married man who is married to another person. Escorts provide a service, one that I think should be legalized, I enjoy the company of escorts and see one for some time who has over 50% of his clients as supposed straight males. My point, the person paying is cheating, plain and simple. If an escort is ok with that, that's fine. I think at some point we should recognize this. I read a previous post on the decline of gay bars; me as a single gay older person, I love the bars, love the cruising, but again I'm single. Just my thoughts..

[seeker630]

I have to add my two cents and mind you I am not a smug person. Cheating is cheating; whether it be an escort who cheats with a married so called "straight" man or who cheats with a married man who is married to another person. Escorts provide a service, one that I think should be legalized, I enjoy the company of escorts and see one for some time who has over 50% of his clients as supposed straight males. My point, the person paying is cheating, plain and simple. If an escort is ok with that, that's fine. I think at some point we should recognize this. I read a previous post on the decline of gay bars; me as a single gay older person, I love the bars, love the cruising, but again I'm single. Just my thoughts..

 

I'm not sure I agree that the ESCORT is cheating. He isn't breaking any vows.