Bondage - Secure or not?

[Businessguy]

I enjoy viewing photos of guys in various forms of bondage. Some of our fellow posters have put up some great shots. Many are very elaborate situations with some great fixtures and equipment. Most are situations where the sub is very secure with no means of escape. However, some show lose ropes or cuffs such that a little wiggling and the sub could easily be free.

My question is for all the bondage subs out there. What kind of bondage is most exciting to you? How secure do you want it to be? What are the elements and dynamics that make it a turn-on? What if your Dom is not proficient at tying rope? How comfortable or uncomfortable does it have to be?

For me, I like it very secure and inescapable but I'm a bit of a wimp so I like it to be comfortable - something I can in for awhile. Nothing worse than going numb or getting a cramp once you are all tied up.

What floats your boat? Tips? Good or bad experiences? Lets hear about it!

[uwsman2]

When I've submitted to bondage situations, I've wanted it to feel like real bondage - not so tight as to inflict significant pain, but tight enough to know that I'm restrained and can't get out of it on my own. Otherwise, where's the thrill? I agree that I want to be reasonably comfortable, but if there isn't at least a little bit of discomfort, it feels fake. I do think it is very important that the bondage top be alert and sensitive at all times to how his bottom is getting along, and ready to loosen things up if numbness or significant discomfort occurs.

 

And, of course, for me bondage isn't complete unless the top is also abusing me somehow - titplay, CBT, flogging, etc. Bondage for me should be part of a more inclusive scenario of which it is a component part.

[whipped guy]

For me the bondage aspect is secondary. It can be a thrill to feel helpless, but one needs to be reasonably comfortable and safe as well. When I first got involved in all of this I was always tied up or somehow restrained. However, most guys (and that includes this not so swift with knots and rope guy who only made it as far as a Cub Scout) really don't have the expertise to tie someone up properly. As a result I now feel that the bondage aspect... at least in its more elaborate forms... is superfluous... at least for my personal needs. For others it's the ultimate thrill... and with or without the S&M aspect.

[ErieBear]

I love bondage. I like it to be tight, but I MUST know that I can trust the DOM. I'm also not into pain, so now I'm trying to figure out what I like, and what I don't like.

[+ poolboy48220]

I love bondage. I like it to be tight, but I MUST know that I can trust the DOM. I'm also not into pain, so now I'm trying to figure out what I like, and what I don't like.

Sounds like me. I enjoy the loss of control but have a very low pain tolerance. I enjoy someone getting off using me against my will, and turning me on despite my (not-very-convincing ) struggles.

[uwsman2]

Poolboy - you describe my interests exactly - low pain tolerance, but at least a smidgen of pain is necessary to the complete experience. Loss of control is important, the feeling of exposing myself for my top's pleasure is very important, of being used as a sex toy, as it were.

[Businessguy]

Me Too!

 

Me too! Me too! One of my favorite Doms is Master Jeff in San Francisco. The excitement builds as he is applying additional layers of restraints. He might start out with just wrist and ankle cuffs that are secured to something. I know I can't get out but there is a lot of wiggle room. At first, I expected that was it but then came the arm and shoulder restraints and the the thigh and waist too. As he applied each layer, more and more wiggle room disappeared. At some point there is a realization that he is in complete control...surrender is the only option...instant hardon!

I too am not into pain. For me the restraint is to hold me back...slow me down so to speak. As a Dom - yes, I enjoy flipping too - I've used this phrase to describe my view of bondage. "I don't tie you up to keep you from getting away from me...I tie you up to keep you from getting to me until you have earned it." Piggy bottoms just love that - evil grin!

[Decatur Guy]

I'm not a fan of the elaborate bondage for a several reasons.

 

One: It's a mood killer for me. It can take a long time and I just get bored.

 

Two: It can get very uncomfortable in an unsexy way.

 

Three: Practically speaking, I don't want to be in or don't want someone else in a situation where I or he can't be released fairly quickly -- what if a fire breaks out, etc.

 

I often enjoy a strong element of dominance and submission in sex play, but I don't need bondage for that to happen. I haven't done it often. But there have been a few times when just handcuffs and/or ankle cuffs were involved, and that can get really hot.

 

I think the last time I was in bondage was about a year ago with Tom Isern. He tied my wrists and my ankles to the bedposts while I was on my stomach and then he and Jake Havoc (who has a huge cock) proceeded to fuck me how they wanted for as long as they wanted. And I have to say the restraints made it pretty damn hot. But i would have been just fine without them and frankly felt very dominated by them anyway. What I like, though, was I was comfortable in them, they didn't take a but a few minutes to get in and out of and they did the trick -- I was helpless. Nothing anymore elaborate was needed.

[whipped guy]

I agree with everything that Decatur Guy has stated...

 

I have seen too many bondage exhibitions where it seemed to take forever to get all the rope work to be functional and look esthetic as well. Then it takes another month of Sundays to undo the entire damned spider's web long after what should be the "final event " has long taken place.

 

I always feel sorry for the victim as that is a time where one would want to light up a cigarette and simply relax and bask in the pleasures. Instead he is made to go through all sorts of twisting, contortions, and machinations to be safely delivered from the grim latticework of doom.

[doitb4ugo]

Me too! Me too! One of my favorite Doms is Master Jeff in San Francisco. The excitement builds as he is applying additional layers of restraints. He might start out with just wrist and ankle cuffs that are secured to something. I know I can't get out but there is a lot of wiggle room. At first, I expected that was it but then came the arm and shoulder restraints and the the thigh and waist too. As he applied each layer, more and more wiggle room disappeared. At some point there is a realization that he is in complete control...surrender is the only option...instant hardon!

I too am not into pain. For me the restraint is to hold me back...slow me down so to speak. As a Dom - yes, I enjoy flipping too - I've used this phrase to describe my view of bondage. "I don't tie you up to keep you from getting away from me...I tie you up to keep you from getting to me until you have earned it." Piggy bottoms just love that - evil grin!

 

 

Yes, Yes....the excitement and sexual energy created by the act of being tied up is the essence of it....If you are into bondage, you are not trying to get to the point where you are tied up....you wnat the act of being tied....I also agree with BG that it is a means of being controlled...AndrewD did this masterfully....

[BaronArtz]

I have seen bondage in movies, etc. and I have always been attracted to it, but haven't 'done it' yet. What is a good way to get started? Should I go to a club and be an observer at first? Should I hire an experienced escort? I live in NYC. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

[whipped guy]

Baron... Since you live in NYC I suggest that you visit the NYBC for starters. Observe at first and see if it something in which you might want to partake. Many guys go simply to watch so there is no harm in that at all. If you then feel inclined you might then ask one of the experts to slowly introduce you to some simple aspects of bondage. At any rate, that would be the easiest way to get introduced to how it's done. Some nights are quite slow and at other times all sorts of things can occur. They meet every Sunday night at Paddles on W 26 bet 7 and 8. Have fun...

[uwsman2]

BaronArtz - NYBC is New York Bondage Club. They have a website where you can see photos of past Sunday gatherings. They are careful to obscure faces in photos. It is usually a friendly crowd, and plenty of people are there to watch and get excited, so it's easy to just blend in to the crowd.

[whipped guy]

Uwsman2... Thanks for the clarification. Here's the link. It will explain all.

www.nybondageclub.com

 

At times anything goes. Just don't let the pics scare you. As the saying goes, "No subs were harmed... "

[BaronArtz]

Thank you whipped and uws ... I'll make sure to check it out, in person. This could be the beginning of something really interesting. Appreciate the advice.

[Adam_6969]

Just now getting around to "chiming" in on this thread. I too, am not an advocate for elaborate rope bondage. It takes too much time to "set up and take down." For me, simple leather restraints work best. When the sub involving bondage, I enjoy being securely restrained with multiple leather restraints and belts located at ankles, calves, thighs, small of back, under armpits, wrists. Bondage is a totally liberating experience that is further enhanced by a bit of nervous uncertainty. Makes my cock hard just thinking about it.

[raulgmanzo]

BaronArtz - NYBC is New York Bondage Club. They have a website where you can see photos of past Sunday gatherings. They are careful to obscure faces in photos. It is usually a friendly crowd, and plenty of people are there to watch and get excited, so it's easy to just blend in to the crowd.

 

Well they didn't have to obscure my face in the photos of me since I was wearing a hood!

 

I agree with Whipped Guy and Uwsman2 that the New York Bondage Club can be a good place to start. When in NYC I try and stop by there if I can, the only caveat is that it's attendance is highly variable and some parts of it are a bit dark. I like to see whats happening not just form a safety/educational point of view but also because I'm very visual. In this sense I really enjoy a couple of the bondage clubs here in Chicago that have a ton of very well lit, clean and carefuly maintained stations.

[raulgmanzo]

Just now getting around to "chiming" in on this thread. I too, am not an advocate for elaborate rope bondage. It takes too much time to "set up and take down." For me, simple leather restraints work best. When the sub involving bondage, I enjoy being securely restrained with multiple leather restraints and belts located at ankles, calves, thighs, small of back, under armpits, wrists. Bondage is a totally liberating experience that is further enhanced by a bit of nervous uncertainty. Makes my cock hard just thinking about it.

 

Yes rope can take a while, especially some of the more fancy and visually appealing shibari, but not necessarily. But sometimes the time needed can be used to effect and can really increase a sense of anticipation. Each wrap of a basic one or two column tie can send shivers and waves of excitement through the subs body but can also be alternated with carresses, or teasing of the balls etc. This can be used to heighten the sensations or calmly acclimate the sub.

 

Still I always have a variety of quick leather restraints and also leather cuffs, belts, collars, and mitts can be combined with rope "captive ties" and such rather quickly.

 

If one finds oneself playing in unfamiliar hotel rooms and a variety of people then often it becomes a mix of techniques combined creatively with whatever furnishings the hotel has thoughtfully provided.

[Businessguy]

Raul - it's great to see your post and participation again. I for one have been missing your input and experience on some of the recent Fetish Forum threads. Welcome back!