Escorts: A semantic rumination

[+ Charlie]

When I was a young man, an oft heard term was "trade." This word described a straight man who would agree to have sex with a gay man in exchange for money or something of value to him, even something as trivial as a cigarette. The sex was almost always fellatio, performed by the gay man. The British term "rentboy" referred to a a younger man, straight or gay, who was available for sex in a more businesslike transaction; a "rentboy" was usually willing to do whatever sexual activity the gay client wished, for an agreed upon sum of money, and was generally indistinguishable from a prostitute. A "hustler" was more aggressive about promoting his availability, and usually gave less than he had promised.

 

When sex for pay started to be advertised in publications, the term often used was "model." The term "model" has a long history of positive uses (unlike the above terms), but the connotation of "model" is passive, suggesting a beautiful man who allows a client to appreciate, even worship, his physical attributes, with minimal responsiveness. The model label finally morphed into "escort," which has a very different connotation: someone who is offering his personality even more than his body, for multi-level interaction with the client. Perhaps because it has the most positive connotations in this PR-conscious world, it has become the all-purpose commercial word for men engaged in the sex business (even if the most popular advertising site winks slyly with its nod to fashionable British slang).

 

I think a lot of disagreements about escorts on this MB arise from this fuzzy use of a word, rather than from differences of taste in age, ethnicity, body type, etc. Many of the men who advertise as "escorts" are really more appropriately categorized as one of the other terms above. Many clients actually want someone who fits one of those other definitions. I have met several of the most popular "escorts" on this site, and often I am surprised to find that they are not physically prepossessing, in the "model" sense of having beautiful faces or fabulous physiques. What endears them to their connoisseurs is their personalities, because those clients want someone with whom they can have a stimulating conversation, whom they can take to dinner or the theater, in whose company they can spend more than a night. But that is not necessarily what other posters are looking for.

 

I know it won't happen here, for obvious reasons, but I would really like it if we could come up with a more accurate set of labels--a taxonomy of men who are available for money--than the catch-all word "escort." The number of "escorts" who actually are escorts is pretty small.

[seeker630]

When I was a young man, an oft heard term was "trade." This word described a straight man who would agree to have sex with a gay man in exchange for money or something of value to him, even something as trivial as a cigarette. The sex was almost always fellatio, performed by the gay man. The British term "rentboy" referred to a a younger man, straight or gay, who was available for sex in a more businesslike transaction; a "rentboy" was usually willing to do whatever sexual activity the gay client wished, for an agreed upon sum of money, and was generally indistinguishable from a prostitute. A "hustler" was more aggressive about promoting his availability, and usually gave less than he had promised.

 

When sex for pay started to be advertised in publications, the term often used was "model." The term "model" has a long history of positive uses (unlike the above terms), but the connotation of "model" is passive, suggesting a beautiful man who allows a client to appreciate, even worship, his physical attributes, with minimal responsiveness. The model label finally morphed into "escort," which has a very different connotation: someone who is offering his personality even more than his body, for multi-level interaction with the client. Perhaps because it has the most positive connotations in this PR-conscious world, it has become the all-purpose commercial word for men engaged in the sex business (even if the most popular advertising site winks slyly with its nod to fashionable British slang).

 

I think a lot of disagreements about escorts on this MB arise from this fuzzy use of a word, rather than from differences of taste in age, ethnicity, body type, etc. Many of the men who advertise as "escorts" are really more appropriately categorized as one of the other terms above. Many clients actually want someone who fits one of those other definitions. I have met several of the most popular "escorts" on this site, and often I am surprised to find that they are not physically prepossessing, in the "model" sense of having beautiful faces or fabulous physiques. What endears them to their connoisseurs is their personalities, because those clients want someone with whom they can have a stimulating conversation, whom they can take to dinner or the theater, in whose company they can spend more than a night. But that is not necessarily what other posters are looking for.

 

I know it won't happen here, for obvious reasons, but I would really like it if we could come up with a more accurate set of labels--a taxonomy of men who are available for money--than the catch-all word "escort." The number of "escorts" who actually are escorts is pretty small.

 

Charlie, thanks for an interesting post, but I'm not sure I understand your point about the source of many disagreements. Are you saying that clients may be looking for an 'escort' by your definition, for example, and hire someone who is actually a 'rentboy' but has been called an 'escort'?

 

It seems more individual & subjective than quantifiable, to me. It also seems to me that different clients might have different experiences with the same person - particularly if we compare short hires and longer hires.

[maxwellissmart]

Charlie, thanks for an interesting post, but I'm not sure I understand your point about the source of many disagreements. Are you saying that clients may be looking for an 'escort' by your definition, for example, and hire someone who is actually a 'rentboy' but has been called an 'escort'?

 

It seems more individual & subjective than quantifiable, to me. It also seems to me that different clients might have different experiences with the same person - particularly if we compare short hires and longer hires.

 

I escort my clients through a shared intimate experience—so there you go.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Interesting post, as usual Charlie. And I think Maxwell is onto something with his answer. The men I've hired, those who are closest to me, have helped escort me from the closet to being an out and proud gay man. We have shared many intimate moments: some sexual, some not. But they have been there for me, both as my escort and now as my friends. Even though I am not hiring any more, they remain my friends and we remain in touch frequently. Of the 7 guys I am closest to, I have been in communication with each of them in the last week alone, just catching up on life -- mine and theirs. Nothing lengthy, just a few texts or emails to catch up. Of the seven, 3 have already met my partner. The rest will soon, I have no doubt.

 

I have thought a lot about the differences between an escort, prostitute and the censored W word. For me, the escort does provide that intimacy, that connection that others may not. I am so very lucky to count 7 of the very best in the business as my escorts, my friends. What we have shared is so far beyond simply the sex, as great as that has been (and God knows it's been great). The intimacy, the joy of my journey is what we have shared most. And I will be eternally grateful to each of them for sharing in that journey. And we will continue to share that journey, long into the future.

[JT Brooklyn]

"Pay the Boys Rent" very Oscar Wilde! The guys do a JOB just as the Girl's do! It's "Work for Pay" therefore "Working Guys"/Working Girl's..one size fits all!

 

"Escort" definitely fits the Female Worker more than the Male Worker due to the fact they usually Dress much much better!

[orbital sander]

I think escort is a fine word to use, and I am not sure that I ever found the title used in a "fuzzy" way. I guess to each his own. I would also point out that some folks occasionally employ the services of an escort for non-intimate experiences...I know, it is hard to believe, but it does happen.

[jjkrkwood]

If the OP is using the term "escort" in its literal sense, then it would be a person who "accompanies" you to various events. This MAY be what some people hire for, but in most cases, sex is involved. What difference does it really make what the term is or what label you place on it.? Thats one of the biggest problems with our society, Labelling..... You are paying for the companionship or another person, for whatever reasons that may be. Why isnt that enough ????

[+ Charlie]

My rumination was prompted by a long rain delay at the French Open, during which my mind wandered on inconsequential topics, like sex and language. It seemed silly to me that anyone who offers to have sex with me for money now identifies himself, and is identified by us on sites like this, as an "escort," even though he does little or no escorting. It's sort of like advertising in the help wanteds for a restaurant waiter under "accountants." I have never hired anyone to take me anywhere, other than heaven, and from the evidence of the reviews here, I am not unusual.

 

OK, I know the obvious: that exchanging money for sex is illegal in most places, so one must maintain the fiction that only time or companionship is being sold, in order to advertise one's availability, and other things just happen. I just wish there were more accurate non-pejorative terms to use for the escorts that don't escort. Maybe we could have a contest? (Sorry, no prizes.)

[josephga]

I noticed in the straight community allot of guys that hire female escorts call it the hobby

[+ WilliamM]

Nadal Vs. Djokovic

 

No offense, Charlie. But, I spent the long rain delay at the French Open yesterday thinking about what a delay until today would do to Djokovic's momentum...he had just beated Nadal in eight straight games.

 

As I guessed when the match resumed today, Nadal was back in charge and won his record-breaking seventh French Open.

 

I understand that condition were better right after they called the match for the night. So Djokovic may take a long time to get over the loss. A win would have given him four Grand Slams victories in a row.

[+ Charlie]

I admit to partisanship: I hoped that Nadal would win. I'm tired of Djokovic beating his chest and pointing to heaven each time he wins, as though God is his manager.

[maxwellissmart]

I admit to partisanship: I hoped that Nadal would win. I'm tired of Djokovic beating his chest and pointing to heaven each time he wins, as though God is his manager.

 

Who are we to pass judgment on his spirituality? As long as he's not pointing at me and using it as a weapon—kudos to him.

[+ honcho]

Back to the Original Topic ...

 

I'm perfectly OK with the notion that some of the people here accompany others (for a free) in travels which may be voyages of self-discovery rather than

geographic destinations, and are fully worthy of the term 'escort' (And I'm thinking of the support that folks like Doit and Leigh got).

 

I don't remember Charlie using the term "Sex-Worker' and that would be appropriate some other experiences (of which I've been willing to pay for on occasion).

 

Another term that's been used in the forum here is "The Boyfriend Experience" (although we haven't come up with a specific name for the providers).

 

[by the way, (to toot my own horn, I had a divisible-by-10 birth last friday and kind of celebrated by tooting a woodwind instrument playing a solo in an

old fashioned band concert in a public park two days later ... ]

[AdamSmith]

"...And I believe it's derogatory to refer to a woman's breasts as 'boobs,' 'jugs,' 'winnebagos' or 'golden bozos' ... and that you should only refer to them as 'hooters.'" -- Steve Martin

[+ Charlie]

Since there have been no suggestions, I would like to nominate the term "yeoman." It has positive connotations of strength, independence, physical skill and persistence. I would much rather hire a "yeoman" than an "escort" or a "rentboy."

[+ Oliver]

Yeoman or "Yo, man!"

 

...I would like to nominate the term "yeoman." It has positive connotations of strength, independence, physical skill and persistence. I would much rather hire a "yeoman" than an "escort" or a "rentboy."

 

As in “one that performs great and loyal service”?

 

Or (as an adjective) “… doing a good job all round; working hard and competently …”,

or “…performed or rendered in a loyal, valiant, useful, or workmanlike manner, especially in situations that involve a great deal of effort or labor …”

 

Or even in a Gilbert and Sullivan opera!

 

I think that works!

[JT Brooklyn]

I knew a few Gorgeous Yeomen when I was in the Navy I never have used the "Escort" Term since I have never gone to any "Balls" where dancing was involved

[unsub2O17]

I remember a time when the word "companion" proceeded by the sex desired was specifically for non-sexual encounters i.e. "male traveling companion wanted for a continental tour". Words like "escort," especially male, left the door open for more intimate goings on.

[maxwellissmart]

I remember a time when the word "companion" proceeded by the sex desired was specifically for non-sexual encounters i.e. "male traveling companion wanted for a continental tour". Words like "escort," especially male, left the door open for more intimate goings on.

 

I like manslut.

[jjkrkwood]

I like manslut.

 

 

 

Those are the guys with "mangina's" right ?????

[Phil_musc]

Gentlemen, where are our manners and social graces? Our brother Honcho has confessed to an important birthday and no one offered so much as a peep of congratulations or even a whisper of everybody's favorite audition song, "Happy Birthday to You." He even admitted to tooting his own horn - probably blowing his horn would have gotten more of a response here - maybe even some movie offers {Chaos Men - disrupt your day}. Nevertheless, congratulations Honch! Many happy returns of the day.

 

Since his post, however, there have been good suggestions - both "yeoman" and "manslut." I see no bad choice here - but perhaps a hyphenated term "yeoman-manlut" or usage of the dying out adverbial form "yeomanly manslut" would be acceptable. Might I even propose a mash-up, "yeomanslut." But that sounds like a greeting out of the original Rocky: "Yo, manslut." For it to work, you have to speak fairly fast as we do on the east coast. But for a moment, think outside the box and hear it drawled by jawjateck or one of our other southern boys, Yo-man-slut. I like it!

[jjkrkwood]

Gentlemen, where are our manners and social graces? Our brother Honcho has confessed to an important birthday and no one offered so much as a peep of congratulations or even a whisper of everybody's favorite audition song, "Happy Birthday to You." He even admitted to tooting his own horn - probably blowing his horn would have gotten more of a response here - maybe even some movie offers {Chaos Men - disrupt your day}. Nevertheless, congratulations Honch! Many happy returns of the day.

 

Since his post, however, there have been good suggestions - both "yeoman" and "manslut." I see no bad choice here - but perhaps a hyphenated term "yeoman-manlut" or usage of the dying out adverbial form "yeomanly manslut" would be acceptable. Might I even propose a mash-up, "yeomanslut." But that sounds like a greeting out of the original Rocky: "Yo, manslut." For it to work, you have to speak fairly fast as we do on the east coast. But for a moment, think outside the box and hear it drawled by jawjateck or one of our other southern boys, Yo-man-slut. I like it!

 

Phil, as you may know, self-tooting is looked down on around here, and its usually only the posse of the tooter that add their support (except for a few wannabees that wanna be part of their elite group) So separatist ! But we all must learn to adjust to things we might not support if we are to survive peacefully amongst !

[Phil_musc]

I distinctly remember a thread on this very site that extolled the virtues of the self-suck. I believe you, JJ, even admitted to this very practice (and I responded how envious I was of anyone who could do this - by the way, I'm still practicing my stitches . . .). Still a happy b-day seems innocuous enough.

 

But enough on this point - back to the virtues (?!) of the yeomanslut.

[+ Lucky]

I focused on honcho's mention of the term "sex-worker," which I think fits many of the definitions mentioned here. I am glad that he enjoyed his birthday and can toot his own flute when needed.

[Rick Munroe]

I used to call myself (and Fin Fang Foom used to use it as my nickname as a result), "Just a dumb w h o r e" (although we didn't need to space out the word in those days before it was banned). I think it's a sexy word and I'm still partial to it.

 

The intimacy, the joy of my journey is what we have shared most. And I will be eternally grateful to each of them for sharing in that journey. And we will continue to share that journey, long into the future.

 

I think you got your threads confused, Lee. This isn't the one about "Most Overused Words" (at the end of the day, I think "journey" was on that list, as awkward, random and epic as that may be).

 

I had a divisible-by-10 birth last friday

 

Happy 30th, sexy centerfold!

 

Since there have been no suggestions, I would like to nominate the term "yeoman."

 

That would really get confusing in Brooklyn, where the word has other connotations. (As in, "Yeoman, why da fuck didja hit my car?!")

 

I like manslut.

 

Thanks. I like you, too.