Special anal situation

[unsub2O17]

Yes, it's me asking about anal one more time. I have an upcoming all day cross country flight, followed by dinner, followed by, hopefully, a mind blowing bottoming experience for me. Question: what can I do to prepare myself for this evening romp given that I'll be in an airplane all day and then having dinner almost as soon as I land?

[jjkrkwood]

Yes, it's me asking about anal one more time. I have an upcoming all day cross country flight, followed by dinner, followed by, hopefully, a mind blowing bottoming experience for me. Question: what can I do to prepare myself for this evening romp given that I'll be in an airplane all day and then having dinner almost as soon as I land?

 

WOW unsub, you sure are Anal about anal...... (just kidding !)

[jjkrkwood]

Yes, it's me asking about anal one more time. I have an upcoming all day cross country flight, followed by dinner, followed by, hopefully, a mind blowing bottoming experience for me. Question: what can I do to prepare myself for this evening romp given that I'll be in an airplane all day and then having dinner almost as soon as I land?

 

If the anal is that much of a priority AFTER a long cross country flight (all I would be able to think about is SLEEP), then liquids ONLY until AFTER the deed is completed....

 

YOU sure are determined !

[josephga]

you could always go to one of those places that does a professional colon cleanse. that cleans everything out. you would be good for about 48hrs

[Sparky12]

When I read the thread title, I immediately thought "This is Tom Brokaw with a Special Anal Situation"

[jjkrkwood]

When I read the thread title, I immediately thought "This is Tom Brokaw with a Special Anal Situation"

 

For my money, I would call Dr Oz......

[maxwellissmart]

Yes, it's me asking about anal one more time. I have an upcoming all day cross country flight, followed by dinner, followed by, hopefully, a mind blowing bottoming experience for me. Question: what can I do to prepare myself for this evening romp given that I'll be in an airplane all day and then having dinner almost as soon as I land?

 

Best thread title ever.

[tom1980]

When you go to wherever (your place/hotel or his) after dinner, take a shower before getting started and clean up as well as you can in there. Let him know ahead of time that you'll be on a plane all day and will want to take a shower to freshen up after dinner. He'll probably be glad that you want to get clean before the good times begin.

[Decatur Guy]

Well, first of all, don't schedule a long flight / immediate dinner / immediate fuck like that.

 

But since you have: Cut out red meat / Mexican / spicy foods two days before flight. Don't eat a heavy meal the night before the flight -- moderate portions of well-balanced meal. Eat yogurt and/or toast before the flight. Carry an Imodium on board and take it during flight.

 

I'm not sure what kind of timetable you have afterward, but you'll have to buy a Fleet enema either after you've left the airport or either pack one if you're doing carry-on luggage. If you're getting a hotel, do it just before your meal or just after and eat lightly at the meal. Very lightly.

 

Dude, you really didn't think out this schedule.

[jjkrkwood]

Well, first of all, don't schedule a long flight / immediate dinner / immediate fuck like that.

 

But since you have: Cut out red meat / Mexican / spicy foods two days before flight. Don't eat a heavy meal the night before the flight -- moderate portions of well-balanced meal. Eat yogurt and/or toast before the flight. Carry an Imodium on board and take it during flight.

 

I'm not sure what kind of timetable you have afterward, but you'll have to buy a Fleet enema either after you've left the airport or either pack one if you're doing carry-on luggage. If you're getting a hotel, do it just before your meal or just after and eat lightly at the meal. Very lightly.

 

Dude, you really didn't think out this schedule.

 

 

 

MY mind is "reeling"...... WHO gives this shit so much thought ? I havent spent THAT much time with my financial planner on my retirement.... Priorities, priorities.........

[+ Travis69]

Would TSA allow you to have a Fleet enema in your carry-on luggage?

[maxwellissmart]

Well, first of all, don't schedule a long flight / immediate dinner / immediate fuck like that.

 

But since you have: Cut out red meat / Mexican / spicy foods two days before flight. Don't eat a heavy meal the night before the flight -- moderate portions of well-balanced meal. Eat yogurt and/or toast before the flight. Carry an Imodium on board and take it during flight.

 

I'm not sure what kind of timetable you have afterward, but you'll have to buy a Fleet enema either after you've left the airport or either pack one if you're doing carry-on luggage. If you're getting a hotel, do it just before your meal or just after and eat lightly at the meal. Very lightly.

 

Dude, you really didn't think out this schedule.

 

Just have your colon resected to come out your foot—and tell Escortboy that your feet are ticklish and to avoid them. Wear socks. Problem solved.

[unsub2O17]

"Dude, you really didn't think out this schedule".

 

DG, I've been accused of many things, but, I promise you that under-thinking an issue has never been one of them. Yes, I would have done this differently, and now you know why I asked the question with the "best thread title ever". Oh, and no, you can't take a Fleets on board because they're 4 oz. (see, I do over think). However, I will pack it in my luggage. I am beginning to think that JJ has a point. This really is getting ridiculous. Others simply can't be having this much of an issue. Oh well, thank you, DG. I'll muddle through somehow.

[jjkrkwood]

"Dude, you really didn't think out this schedule".

 

DG, I've been accused of many things, but, I promise you that under-thinking an issue has never been one of them. Yes, I would have done this differently, and now you know why I asked the question with the "best thread title ever". Oh, and no, you can't take a Fleets on board because they're 4 oz. (see, I do over think). However, I will pack it in my luggage. I am beginning to think that JJ has a point. This really is getting ridiculous. Others simply can't be having this much of an issue. Oh well, thank you, DG. I'll muddle through somehow.

 

For lack of a better pun, this really is a "shitty" situation. How the fuck can you really enjoy yourself in the end ? (oops, another pun)

[maxwellissmart]

For lack of a better pun, this really is a "shitty" situation. How the fuck can you really enjoy yourself in the end ? (oops, another pun)

 

Well here's a thought (and I don't know if anyone has suggested it already or not)... you're the client and you can always choose to skip the anal sex this time. I mean, is it THAT important?

[jjkrkwood]

Well here's a thought (and I don't know if anyone has suggested it already or not)... you're the client and you can always choose to skip the anal sex this time. I mean, is it THAT important?

 

If you know unsub's personality, you know that pleasing his escort is a Priority for him, so with that said, he wants to be prepared "in the event" the escorts wants anal... So as not to disappoint him.

 

Max, you really need to study up !

[+ Travis69]

Separate the 4 oz enema into 2 smaller bottles. Carry them on the plane. When you are over the Rocky Mountains do the enema in the plane's bathroom. Pray there isn't violent turbulence or the whole bottle will end up up your butt and emergency medical personnel will have to meet you at your destination and your date with the escort will be delayed....

[Juan Vancouver]

Warning: Earnest Hemming-gay strikes again! (Get some snacks and get comfy.)

 

Hey my man,

 

I am a little confused by your post, so I'm going to address a few things that caught my attention.

 

You have said that you don't care for anal and that you would be fine putting it in the back burner, however here not only you are wanting to do it in a really stressful schedule, but you have the expectation that it will be a "hopefully, a mind blowing bottoming experience". If I were life coaching you I would have to tell you that you are very purposefully setting yourself up for disappointment. You have pretty much everything lined up against fulfilling your desire: you don't like anal, you get really stressed about being clean, you now have a generous compendium of conflicting information about how to go about this, you have an all day flight and you don't know your escort. Your chances of getting a mind blowing bottoming experience would only be worse if you had an angry haemorrhoid and you had just taken a powerful laxative. You are building a nightmare scenario for yourself.

 

Judging by what you say you want, you are taking every single step necessary to not have it.

 

And- you have said that this is to achieve something that you don't even enjoy.

 

Not all is lost, though. Let's imagine you are someone who loves getting fucked and who is somewhat relaxed about it. There are very simple ways to make sure this will work.

 

1. Forget the fleet enemas forever. (NO! I meant, forever, and you just thought about them again!) =) Fleet enemas are to freshen up the lady parts and they are designed to take away only unpleasant smell, not solid waste. Someone very clever had the idea that men could also use them but the amount of liquid in insufficient to prepare you for anal activity with an adult penis. A Fleet enema could perhaps prepare you to being fingered by a pinky finger, but you can expect accidents half of the time. I would also recommend to forget douching with those plastic syringes or douche bottles.If you clean with bottles, a large cock will go past the inner sphincter and your douched will be useless.

 

There are only two methods that will help you: a shower shot attached to your plumbing or a Streem master. The latter is portable and you can pack it easily and is usable with most showers when you travel. (Disclaimer: some fancy hotel showers may be a bitch to attach to this, but that doesn't happen always.)

 

http://www.streemmaster.com/

 

2. Sure, avoid heavy foods the night before your flight and eat some rice. The morning before your flight, using your streemaster, with very little pressure, preferably sitting on the toilet, let water little by little go into your body, past your colon into your intestine. With practice you will learn to feel it happening. If you use little pressure it is perfectly safe and it won't hurt. Take the nuzzle out and keep the water in if you can, and get in a horizontal position or even with your head lower than your ass so that the water goes al over your intestines. It feels funny, but that is what you want. After five minutes take the water out. Douche a few times, as many as are necessary to get clean water and then wait for half an hour before going to the airport to make sure no surprise water will come out.

 

3. Eat light in the plain, but make sure to eat. Again try to avoid irritants, but also avoid an empty stomach; not only it will give you terrible breath, you won't have energy for playing. If you are trying Imodium, you can take it one hour before landing.

 

4. As soon as you get to the hotel, preferably 30 minutes before you have to go to dinner, douche again till everything comes clean, and then wait to make sure no water is coming out.

 

5. Go have dinner, and eat, but eat lightly. Don't eat irritants but don't over do the salads or the fibre. Unless the food you eat is rotten, you will not have to evacuate that until 8 hours later, so the issue here is not whether you will be clean or not, but whether you will feel too full to be comfortable.

 

6. When you go back to the hotel take a quick break in the bathroom and stick one or two fingers heavily lubed with silicone lube. If you are empty there and smell clean chances are that you will be good to go for many hours. If you are not clean, however, there is not much you can do, because if you douche then, chances are you will end up spurting water during your session. If you are not clean and your lover is waiting in the room, I would recommend to try other things.

 

 

I write all this thinking that you love anal. I love getting fucked, and I can bottom after a whole day of travel and I have barely ever had anything less than perfect. It is a lot of work and it is an art. If you are doing all this because you think you should, you will end up uncomfortable and unfulfilled and you would be better off trying stuff that excites you and makes you feel good.

 

You said that you want to please your escort. I can tell you that there is nothing more pleasing for me than a guy who is relaxed, comfortable, knows his limits, is enjoying what is, as opposed to forcing himself to do what "should be" and is appreciative of what is happening in the session.

 

A challenging client would be someone who doesn't know his limits and is trying to push something that won't happen, someone who is stressed, tense, in his head, judging and evaluating himself and the session and especially, someone who comes to the session with a huge expectation of having delivered something life changing. Also, nothing can ruin a session more than a client that is ashamed by some perceived shortcoming of his and is unable to relax after that.

 

My advise would be to learn what you enjoy, learn about your body, try different things, but focus on those that come with ease and pleasurably. You are just becoming acquainted with your sexuality. Adding more stress where there's already a lot of it is not helping. Relax! It's all supposed to be fun.

 

Lastly, if you want to learn the best ways to douche... practice when you don't have an appointment with a hung escort. Practice at home and become acquainted with your ass and your equipment. Then play with long dildos. If you are going to master this, you must practice without so much stress.

[unsub2O17]

Hey my man,

 

I am a little confused by your post, so I'm going to address a few things that caught my attention.

 

You have said that you don't care for anal and that you would be fine putting it in the back burner, however here not only you are wanting to do it in a really stressful schedule, but you have the expectation that it will be a "hopefully, a mind blowing bottoming experience". If I were life coaching you I would have to tell you that you are very purposefully setting yourself up for disappointment. You have pretty much everything lined up against fulfilling your desire: you don't like anal, you get really stressed about being clean, you now have a generous compendium of conflicting information about how to go about this, you have an all day flight and you don't know your escort. Your chances of getting a mind blowing bottoming experience would only be worse if you had an angry haemorrhoid and you had just taken a powerful laxative. You are building a nightmare scenario for yourself.

 

Judging by what you say you want, you are taking every single step necessary to not have it.

 

And- you have said that this is to achieve something that you don't even enjoy.

 

Not all is lost, though. Let's imagine you are someone who loves getting fucked and who is somewhat relaxed about it. There are very simple ways to make sure this will work.

 

1. Forget the fleet enemas forever. (NO! I meant, forever, and you just thought about them again!) =) Fleet enemas are to freshen up the lady parts and they are designed to take away only unpleasant smell, not solid waste. Someone very clever had the idea that men could also use them but the amount of liquid in insufficient to prepare you for anal activity with an adult penis. A Fleet enema could perhaps prepare you to being fingered by a pinky finger, but you can expect accidents half of the time. I would also recommend to forget douching with those plastic syringes or douche bottles.If you clean with bottles, a large cock will go past the inner sphincter and your douched will be useless.

 

There are only two methods that will help you: a shower shot attached to your plumbing or a Streem master. The latter is portable and you can pack it easily and is usable with most showers when you travel. (Disclaimer: some fancy hotel showers may be a bitch to attach to this, but that doesn't happen always.)

 

http://www.streemmaster.com/

 

2. Sure, avoid heavy foods the night before your flight and eat some rice. The morning before your flight, using your streemaster, with very little pressure, preferably sitting on the toilet, let water little by little go into your body, past your colon into your intestine. With practice you will learn to feel it happening. If you use little pressure it is perfectly safe and it won't hurt. Take the nuzzle out and keep the water in if you can, and get in a horizontal position or even with your head lower than your ass so that the water goes al over your intestines. It feels funny, but that is what you want. After five minutes take the water out. Douche a few times, as many as are necessary to get clean water and then wait for half an hour before going to the airport to make sure no surprise water will come out.

 

3. Eat light in the plain, but make sure to eat. Again try to avoid irritants, but also avoid an empty stomach; not only it will give you terrible breath, you won't have energy for playing. If you are trying Imodium, you can take it one hour before landing.

 

4. As soon as you get to the hotel, preferably 30 minutes before you have to go to dinner, douche again till everything comes clean, and then wait to make sure no water is coming out.

 

5. Go have dinner, and eat, but eat lightly. Don't eat irritants but don't over do the salads or the fibre. Unless the food you eat is rotten, you will not have to evacuate that until 8 hours later, so the issue here is not whether you will be clean or not, but whether you will feel too full to be comfortable.

 

6. When you go back to the hotel take a quick break in the bathroom and stick one or two fingers heavily lubed with silicone lube. If you are empty there and smell clean chances are that you will be good to go for many hours. If you are not clean, however, there is not much you can do, because if you douche then, chances are you will end up spurting water during your session. If you are not clean and your lover is waiting in the room, I would recommend to try other things.

 

 

I write all this thinking that you love anal. I love getting fucked, and I can bottom after a whole day of travel and I have barely ever had anything less than perfect. It is a lot of work and it is an art. If you are doing all this because you think you should, you will end up uncomfortable and unfulfilled and you would be better off trying stuff that excites you and makes you feel good.

 

You said that you want to please your escort. I can tell you that there is nothing more pleasing for me than a guy who is relaxed, comfortable, knows his limits, is enjoying what is, as opposed to forcing himself to do what "should be" and is appreciative of what is happening in the session.

 

A challenging client would be someone who doesn't know his limits and is trying to push something that won't happen, someone who is stressed, tense, in his head, judging and evaluating himself and the session and especially, someone who comes to the session with a huge expectation of having delivered something life changing. Also, nothing can ruin a session more than a client that is ashamed by some perceived shortcoming of his and is unable to relax after that.

 

My advise would be to learn what you enjoy, learn about your body, try different things, but focus on those that come with ease and pleasurably. You are just becoming acquainted with your sexuality. Adding more stress where there's already a lot of it is not helping. Relax! It's all supposed to be fun.

 

Lastly, if you want to learn the best ways to douche... practice when you don't have an appointment with a hung escort. Practice at home and become acquainted with your ass and your equipment. Then play with long dildos. If you are going to master this, you must practice without so much stress.

 

 

 

 

WOW! What a post. How can I ever thank you for taking such time and care with a stranger?! You are, indeed, one of those very special guys. So, thank you very very much. Just to clear up your confusion, I'm still not sure about anal--mainly because I don't really have a handle on this cleaning out issue (isn't it obvious?). I "assumed" that I couldn't evaluate anal until I was, indeed, able to NOT worry about having an accident. I still am at that point, but your point about setting myself up for failure and disappointment is superb. Well, I have a couple of weeks, and I intend to think this through so that by the time of the appointment, I'll know what I want (well, as much as thinking can get me), and I'll be relaxed about it. Fair enough?

[Phil_musc]

Actually after Juan's thoughtful and definitive posting above, I'm hesitant to write anything (aside: thanks, Juan, you gave me somethings to think about) of a humorous nature - but ok, here goes. I'd propose that the poster take his streemaster on the plane with him and somewhere over the Rockies maybe or Utah (there's a perverse satisfaction in doing anything remotely scandalous or sexual over the Mormon state. No telling what alarms may go off) quietly and confidently get up and go to the little cubicle down the aisle that the airlines pretentiously label as a bathroom, hook said Streemaster into the faucet and begin preparations at that point. Who knows, perhaps the flight attendant may offer assistance, especially if the OP has never used one of those contraptions before. Maybe the OP could take a cigarette onboard, light it in the bathroom, hope that the cute attendant comes to check on him. Maybe if said attendant is kinda dominant, he might even offer to ream the guy a new asshole - with the streemaster of course. I'd say a little air turbulence would only be a good thing in this instance and might aid in the cleaning process. Given the hair-trigger schedule that the OP mentions, it would be best to err on the side of early rather than waiting until douching between dinner courses as seems to be recommended above - probably between the sherbet course and the entree. Too late, I think.

Nevertheless, OP, know that we all wish you well on this cross-country dalliance that necessitates this recherché preparation and planning. My hat is truly off to you and I hope that it all works out well for you. Keep us posted, and keep those amazing questions about anal preparations coming. I always enjoy learning something new. ;-)

[jjkrkwood]

Something tells me this "scatalogical Anthology" aint over yet !

[maxwellissmart]

If you know unsub's personality, you know that pleasing his escort is a Priority for him, so with that said, he wants to be prepared "in the event" the escorts wants anal... So as not to disappoint him.

 

Max, you really need to study up !

 

NEWSFLASH: The escort doesn't care. Actually, let me rephrase that—the escort should be concerned with making sure you are a satisfied client. Allowing yourself to get into a mental situation where you can't be pleased unless you feel like you're pleasing your escort can make things needlessly stressful and complicated. It's one thing for both of you to have fun. It's another entirely to jump through a bunch of hoops to prepare yourself for an activity that—in all honesty—your escort most likely could take or leave.

[unsub2O17]

NEWSFLASH: The escort doesn't care. Actually, let me rephrase that—the escort should be concerned with making sure you are a satisfied client. Allowing yourself to get into a mental situation where you can't be pleased unless you feel like you're pleasing your escort can make things needlessly stressful and complicated. It's one thing for both of you to have fun. It's another entirely to jump through a bunch of hoops to prepare yourself for an activity that—in all honesty—your escort most likely could take or leave.

 

Ouch! Got it. Well, OK. I will (try to) concentrate on myself and relax. BTW, Phil, I did order the Streemmaster (clever little device) for the "turbulence over the Rockies".

[+ Travis69]

NEWSFLASH: The escort doesn't care. Actually, let me rephrase that—the escort should be concerned with making sure you are a satisfied client. Allowing yourself to get into a mental situation where you can't be pleased unless you feel like you're pleasing your escort can make things needlessly stressful and complicated. It's one thing for both of you to have fun. It's another entirely to jump through a bunch of hoops to prepare yourself for an activity that—in all honesty—your escort most likely could take or leave.

 

These are extremely wise words Max writes.

[maxwellissmart]

Ouch! Got it. Well, OK. I will (try to) concentrate on myself and relax. BTW, Phil, I did order the Streemmaster (clever little device) for the "turbulence over the Rockies".

 

Compare these two sentences.

 

1) You excite me, you thrill me in person. Let's take it up a notch this time—I would love for you to fuck me.

 

2) You excite me, you thrill me from your pictures. This is the first time we've met and I have no idea what sort of chemistry we have, but I expect that you're going to want to fuck me.