Do You Tell Any Friends That you See Escorts?

[bcohen7719]

Or do you tell no one, not anyone else?

 

BC

[KMEM]

All my friends are escorts and ....they already know.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Epigonos]

I have attended the Palm Spring Weekends for the last few years and we, of course, discuss our hiring practices. Over the years I have made several friends at these functions with whom I keep in contact during the rest of the year. We do on occasion speak or email with each other regarding our hiring experiences and even occasionally ask for recommendations.

 

As regards friends outside the hiring community I definitely NO NOT discuss my hiring of escorts. There is, however, one exception to the above sentence. The mother of a former student of mine lives in my condo complex. The daughter is in her late fifties and lives in New Zealand with her long time lesbian partner. The last time she visited, about a month ago, we discussed my hiring of escorts. She was absolutely fascinated and thought the whole idea was a hoot.

[bigvalboy]

I do not volunteer that kind of information to those outside of the forum, however on several occasions people have asked me who was the person that they saw me with, and I am always very upfront with that sort of information. I will simply say that he is a paid companion. I would say that my immediate family are the only ones that I keep that kind of information from.

[jjkrkwood]

I dont live in an "escort" world. Hiring is a service I ocassionally subscribe to. and YES my friends and co-workers know. Nothing to be ashamed about. I am an OUT gay man. Its par for the course.

[jawjateck]

The many fine men of Hooville know my hiring habits; but outside of our world, it's no one else's business.

[maxwellissmart]

The many fine men of Hooville know my hiring habits; but outside of our world, it's no one else's business.

 

I concur. I've always thought it odd that clients would discuss something so personal and intimate—I think it cheapens it, and I'm personally not a fan of sport sex.

 

Well, not a huge fan.

 

Well... I don't hold season tickets.

[best hotel]

I told my therapist who eventually understood. Only my gay friends know.

[Decatur Guy]

The many fine men of Hooville know my hiring habits; but outside of our world, it's no one else's business.

 

Same for me. I've made a friend here (thank you sir) and hope to meet more. But I keep it within this circle.

[leigh.bess.toad]

BC -- back to asking interesting, great questions. Thank you.

 

I have only told one "friend". My now bf/partner. On our second date. I was advised in no uncertain terms not to. But I figured if he had a problem with that, he would have a problem accepting me. And I didn't want to waste time on a relationship if he couldn't accept me as I was then. And he had no problem with it. I have continued to see escorts while our relationship grew. Now it is at the point I want to be fully monogamous with him and so I have made the decision to stop hiring. And he is aware of it. We talked about it tonight, as we were returning from dinner where he met the first of my forum friends (a client). But in the coming months, and perhaps as early as this week, he will start meeting my friends who are also escorts. He knows they are part of my life, and because they are my friends, he accepts them as my friends. I have met his former partner (now a good friend) and several of his past boyfriends and I don't worry about his previous sexual relations. It's what made him the man I fell in love with. And he feels the same about my escorts.

 

Last week, at PS weekend, I was at Streetbar for karaoke with Rockin Dave, my escort for the weekend, and my final hire. We were standing on the patio talking when another man approached us. He was there with his husband. He asked us if we were lovers. Dave looked at me for the okay which I nodded. And he told him that he was an escort and I was his client. I told him of the many positive things I had gotten from my escorts and how it had prepared me to be in a committed monogamous relationship with my partner. It was so positive.

 

As has BH, I have also told my therapist. He certainly has to have a scorecard to separate my friends into the client or escort category. There are many men from both categories who have been an influence in my life as I have come out of the closet and into a wonderful relationship. But he is impressed with what I tell him of my escorts and how they care for me as a friend. I have read some of the things that some have written me and he is amazed. But it is especially hard for him when I slip back and forth between their escort name and their real name. And it is especially confusing since I have so many first names duplicated in my life: between client friends, escort friends, and friends and co-workers in my everyday life. I have to constantly spell out name, city and relationship. But he knows so many of these men from our talks. And he is equally impressed with both client and escort friends alike. The nature and origin of the relationship doesn't matter. All that matters is that they are all friends.

[+ Shoreboy]

I have only told one person and that is a close friend of mine who is married to the wicked witch of the west and east and he would love nothing more than to jump in the sack with another guy.....he did experiment a lot before he was married (for over 10 years) and his wife once found his stash of gay porn.

 

He and I can't do anything together since the friendship is more important to us than anything else.

 

He uses my house when I am traveling to watch gay porn and of course you know what follows. He feeds my dog when I am away and he also gets to jerk off...great arrangement for me and I am sure him.

 

For his birthday for the last few years I have offered to hire someone to come to my house and let them go at it....but he is still way to nervous about being caught by his wife...trust me there is a lot to be nervous about with her since she really is a witch.

 

So yes, I have told him about my hiring and I think he lives vicariously through my experiences.

 

The reason he does not leave her is that they have a child and he is so afraid of losing custody.

 

I am sure there are many men in similar situations.

 

So yes, he is the one person I have told and he wants/needs a detailed account of all of my hirings

[Bosguy]

Since I have become single again, I have informed 4 of my closest friends (all gay men) and 3 of the 4 had no problem with me seeing working guys--in fact, were very happy for me. In fact, some of them have even met each other.

 

Boston Bill

[jgoo]

Since I have become single again, I have informed 4 of my closest friends (all gay men) and 3 of the 4 had no problem with me seeing working guys--in fact, were very happy for me. In fact, some of them have even met each other.

 

Boston Bill

 

Not to intrude but may I ask what the 1 had a problem with you hiring an escort? Was it on moral grounds, safety (physical, health) or something else? I ask because I haven't told any of my friends as I am quite worried about a possible negative judgement on me by them that may impact our friendship going forward.

[EZEtoGRU]

My two best friends (both gay) know that I hire. They enjoy hearing my stories. No-one else knows however.

[Bosguy]

Not to intrude but may I ask what the 1 had a problem with you hiring an escort? Was it on moral grounds, safety (physical, health) or something else? I ask because I haven't told any of my friends as I am quite worried about a possible negative judgement on me by them that may impact our friendship going forward.

 

Don't know what his (or his partner's) problem is but they totally disagree with my choice as a gay man. Many guys feel that it is possible one or both may have hired working guys in the past and had a bad experience or fear that this information may surface. We did not communicate for almost a year but I met him for drinks last week while vacationing in his area. We mended our friendship but I still never got an answer.

 

Boston Bill

[Cal28]

I find this to be a particularly thought-provoking question and thread. I've only been a client for a few months; it started as my long-term relationship began to break up. My partner knows... and I still refer to him as such, as we remain financially and legally entwined. He disapproves, but not because of the difficulty of imagining me being intimate with someone else (he goes out on plenty of dates). Instead, he believes that it makes me vulnerable to all kinds of things, and that it saps one's soul (he has never been a client himself). I don't agree, obviously, but I know that his concern comes from a good place, and it's not something we discuss all that much. My best gay friend knows, but he and I don't get to see or talk to each other as much as I'd like. And my lesbian next-door neighbor knows. She is the most effusively supportive and curious out of the three... she wants to know every detail!

 

I have many straight female friends, and I haven't told any of them. It's an unusual place for me to be, because I'm an open book with many of them. On this topic, though, I just don't think they would understand.

 

So I guess that's why I check in on what's going on here nearly every day... for enlightenment, perspective and even some validation. I've never followed a forum of any kind like I have this one. Fascinating stuff...

[JoeBlow]

This forum is my only social outlet for discussing my hiring of escorts. No one else knows...not even my wife!

[leigh.bess.toad]

This forum is my only social outlet for discussing my hiring of escorts. No one else knows...not even my wife!

 

Not even, or especially?

 

That's certainly one person in my life I haven't told -- my wife. And I doubt if many (any?) gay married men have.

[+ Axiom2001]

I've been hiring for over a decade [plus], and only two of my "best friends" know about my engaging the services of escorts. One of these two amigos hires; the other one doesn't and we do not discuss it too much.

A few weeks back, I lied to him about my journey to San Francisco, only to divulge the truth later. I volunteered to him that I had not told him the truth about my journey [which I definitely could have done] and that

I drove up to the "City-by-the-Bay to see my "hot Chilango boi." He, my amigo did not say too much.

 

One's sexual liaisons are his business and no one else's.

[bcohen7719]

I find this to be a particularly thought-provoking question and thread. I've only been a client for a few months; it started as my long-term relationship began to break up. My partner knows... and I still refer to him as such, as we remain financially and legally entwined. He disapproves, but not because of the difficulty of imagining me being intimate with someone else (he goes out on plenty of dates). Instead, he believes that it makes me vulnerable to all kinds of things, and that it saps one's soul (he has never been a client himself). I don't agree, obviously, but I know that his concern comes from a good place, and it's not something we discuss all that much. My best gay friend knows, but he and I don't get to see or talk to each other as much as I'd like. And my lesbian next-door neighbor knows. She is the most effusively supportive and curious out of the three... she wants to know every detail!

 

I have many straight female friends, and I haven't told any of them. It's an unusual place for me to be, because I'm an open book with many of them. On this topic, though, I just don't think they would understand.

 

So I guess that's why I check in on what's going on here nearly every day... for enlightenment, perspective and even some validation. I've never followed a forum of any kind like I have this one. Fascinating stuff...

 

______________________________________

 

This is a fascinating and insightful commentary. My personal theory is that if you admit you hire to a gay man outside of this "world" (e.g., readers/contributors to Daddy's Reviews) you are admitting that you can't get sex without paying for it. In other words, a lesser human being or what was once termed in an even less kind period of human

history, a [gay] untermenschen. Straight women may be titillated; lesbians may find it hilarious; straight men might be amused. But another gay man? I think, regretfully, contempt.

BC

[happyguy2]

My close friends know I am gay, but while we have spoken of how there is little stigma for escorts in the gay world, I have never told anyone. I am sad to say I don't even have the guts to go to one of your wonderful fet-togethers. Reading this site means a great deal to a guy like me - and I often wonder how many of your participants and readers are like me?

[whipped guy]

I have only told friends that post here... and come to think of it that's how we became friends in the first place... but that's the way it has to be... and it that regard I guess I am far from being alone.

[unsub2O17]

I guess it's my turn. No one knows except this forum and the escorts I've contacted or hired. I'd like to think that it's because I care about the feelings of others and not the repercussions to myself.

[jjkrkwood]

I guess it's my turn. No one knows except this forum and the escorts I've contacted or hired. I'd like to think that it's because I care about the feelings of others and not the repercussions to myself.

 

Why should anyone really care if they are people that truly care about and love you ? If you are happy with your choices, that is all that should matter to THEM.... I guess I've just been fortunate ?

[+ Travis69]

I have told friends in the past but find it more fun not to tell them. Keeping it my little secret makes it more fun.