The Real Meaning of "ESCORT"

[NYTomcat]

A TALE OF TWO MEN

 

Less than three years ago a scared married father of two sat alone each night before his computer watching gay porn and dreaming of a life that had clearly been denied him. For many reasons he had chosen to stay in the closet. A decision he will never regret. No matter what the price his two children are and will always be his world, as any father will attest. But he could no longer survive pretending. Broken and all but defeated he would sit each night dreaming that he could become the man he was born to be. Slowly becoming a zombie… neither alive nor dead… simple going through the motions of what should have been a joyous life.

 

In an act of desperation, he made an appointment to meet an escort … to him at the time… a hooker. To find at least some point of happiness that might help him keep going in his façade of a life. How was he to know that in finding this “hooker,” who was to be no more than an evening’s pleasure, he would find a friend. No … a catalyst to change.

 

The appointment went well the reviews all positive but below the surface something more was brewing. The joy of the moment brought the fall to reality and the man could not raise the façade again. Lost and scared he never thought he could find himself. Just when he was sure he wanted to die, from the blue came a text message on his phone “Don’t worry, we will get you through this.”

 

The man found a light into his dark hell of an existence. Each night, as before, as the man would sit by his computer, this man he had hired for a simple good time would write to him, share his time and his thoughts. More he would share his life. Slowly, night by night, this escort, this man he had hired to be no more than a pleasure toy would walk the dark and lonely nights with him. Teaching him about men… about relationships…about heartbreak…about life.

 

For over a year this escort would share his joys and help bear his pains. Occasionally, the man would even share in the escorts joys and burdens as well. Day by day… night by night they would recap the day and help prepare for the next day to come. Over this time, the man grew and learned and found himself. The escort he had hired for “a good time” had done what no one else had seen or known to do. He had given the man back his life.

 

After a year, the man had come out to the world…. Accepted who he was and accepted what he wanted to be. Still he relied daily on the escort to be his constant support.. his guide… his confident. While he searched for his place in the world, the escort was there to boost him up or clip his wings when he pushed too far… too fast. Ever keeping him on course.

 

I am that man and It was one year ago that had my last sexual encounter with my guide… my escort through the turmoil that was my life. As much as I needed and relied on him, I had to say goodbye and find my own way or never be able to stand on my own. He knew that even before I did as he had with all my steps through this process. As I boarded a plane to leave him he walked me to my gate and told me “ I love you and miss you already” and so do I even today. Not a day will go by that I do not think of him. Not an occasion happens in my life that I do not want to share with him. Not a thing I achieve do I not in some way credit to him. I am the man I am today because of many people. But few will ever have the impact that this “escort” did to me.

 

So today I am a much happier man. Comfortable with myself. Finding my own way. Even happily starting a relationship with high hopes and realistic expectations. But I cannot let this weekend pass without a thought for every member of the forum.

 

We are a close knit group, we may bicker and fight. And many have accused each of us of being doggedly loyal to our “favorites” But what is most important to remember is that many of the men we hire for very short periods are incredible people. Who often have a much greater impact on our lives than simply sexual gratification. They are listeners, they are counselors, they are lovers and most of all they are friends.

 

I have on many occasions been ridiculed here for sharing too much of my life with the forum. For telling too much about how my experiences with forum members and escorts have affected me. For this reason, I have pulled back however, though I am sure my escort would berate me, I am posting this anyway.

 

To all the great gentleman who I have met along the way…. My best to you

 

To all the great gentleman enjoying Palm Springs…. I wish I were with you

 

To all the escorts who have meant so much to me… Thank you

 

To my escort “I love you and still miss you to.”

[healthguy]

Thank you so much, and don't ever pull away from your keyboard! Rand

[jjkrkwood]

A TALE OF TWO MEN

 

We are a close knit group, we may bicker and fight. And many have accused each of us of being doggedly loyal to our “favorites” But what is most important to remember is that many of the men we hire for very short periods are incredible people. Who often have a much greater impact on our lives than simply sexual gratification. They are listeners, they are counselors, they are lovers and most of all they are friends.

 

NYTOM, firstly Congrats on your coming out and your finding Happiness and Peace in the process... THAT is the true meaning of Life. However, forgive me if I put a slight change to this Post.

It should really be "MY True Meaning of an Escort". While people like you and Leigh have shared success stories about your experiences with them, having found friendship and compassion in the process, I believe that is the "proverbial EXCEPTION" to the rule. While escorts may be wonderful human beings, their purpose and goal is NOT to brefriend clients. It can happen but I dont think its a conscious, pre-established goal. For the most part, for many and I would think the majority, an escort experience is merely a "Gay for play" kinda relationship and nothing more. I dont intend to open a Firestorm of controversy here, but I just wanted other readers who may be in your original position of life, venturing into their FIRST encounter to realize there is another side to this, and that they shouldnt EXPECT the Fairy Tale ending you have received in your journey and presented here. For many the experience can probably turn out to be a fulfilling, yet Empty one. I still would NEVER discount the importance of hiring, if this is truly something you want to do. DO IT. It has many advantages and benefits.

Again, congrats NYTC, and Stay Happy....

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Tomcat - Thanks for writing such a thoughtful, caring message. A great tribute to the guys that allow clients to be themselves.

[Diverdan]

Dear Tom,

Thank you for sharing the most beautiful and loving story and tribute to your "escort". I have had some similar experiences along the way where the "escort"was much more than what I expected and in the process found a couple of dear friends who have supported me through life's journeys. I am so happy for you, and while I agree with JJ too that not all encounters with an escort will lead to your experience, your sharing of your story and journey will help a lot of other guys venture out in ways that they may not have thought possible. I still do hope to meet you personally, and thank you for baring your soul so many times these past few years as we shared your roller coaster that is life. My very best wishes to you for a life filled with happiness, for your children to continue to enjoy and appreciate their loving father, for your ex to appreciate what you had to do and for the success of your new found relationship. Thanks again for this post. It reaffirms my belief that you are one incredible MAN in the truest sense of that word.

DD

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

...While escorts may be wonderful human beings, their purpose and goal is NOT to brefriend clients. It can happen but I dont think its a conscious, pre-established goal. For the most part, for many and I would think the majority, an escort experience is merely a "Gay for play" kinda relationship and nothing more. I dont intend to open a Firestorm of controversy here, but I just wanted other readers who may be in your original position of life, venturing into their FIRST encounter to realize there is another side to this, and that they shouldnt EXPECT the Fairy Tale ending you have received in your journey and presented here. For many the experience can probably turn out to be a fulfilling, yet Empty one....

 

JJ - I think your point is valid - not every escort is capable of being more than someone to have fun with. In fact, the first couple of escorts that I hired provided a great playtime experience. Nice, friendly, sexy, punctual, and clean gentlemen - everything I'm looking for when hiring. And while I've hired both escorts again, they did not build connections with me that Tomcat describes.

 

It took a few times before I hired an escort that I would speak about as glowingly as Tomcat did in his post. And while we don't communicate daily, if I need a friend to talk to, I wouldn't hesitate picking up the phone and calling him. In all honesty, when I hired him, I wasn't even aware that I needed something more than a casual encounter in my life. Timing was right, this escort was right, and I was open to being true to myself.

[seeker630]

NYTomcat,

 

Thanks for having the courage to share your experience and your evolution with us.

 

Like the Forum itself, escorts provide different things to different clients/posters, dependent on the needs of the clients and the capabilities of the escorts.

 

I'm happy that you found what YOU needed - and I'm also happy when JJK find what HE needs.

[jjkrkwood]

NYTomcat,

 

Thanks for having the courage to share your experience and your evolution with us.

 

Like the Forum itself, escorts provide different things to different clients/posters, dependent on the needs of the clients and the capabilities of the escorts.

 

I'm happy that you found what YOU needed - and I'm also happy when JJK find what HE needs.

 

Seeker, I guess the point I was "trying" to make for the "newbies" is that they should go into hiring "EXPECTING" to find the sort of relationship that NYTOM found. That would only set them up for disappoint. Its wonderful if it does HAPPEN, and yes it can, but I dont think that should be your primary goal when engaging an escort. First and foremost its a business, and escorts are businessmen, and ANY businessman is looking to make money. Every cloud doesnt have a silver lining, and every story doesnt have a happy ending.

I was just offering a different persepctive, and certainly not minimizing NYTOMS personal, heartfelt story.

[leeper]

Tomcat,

Hat's off to you for sharing your retrospective on this part of your journey. You have told us a lot about your experiences while you were going through them and it has been overall, a positive story. It is nice to know that in your look backward over these past two years that your perspective is also a positive one, largely without regret. It speaks to the impact one person, the right person, can have on one's life, regardless of how you met. And yes the Palms Springs gathering is off to a good start; it is too bad you are not able to be with us.

[JT Brooklyn]

The Best of Luck to you Tomcat!

[whipped guy]

Tomcat... I was thinking about you for the past several days... and well before your thoughtful posting... and now I realize why... I guess I was subconsciously reliving your astonishing voyage and feeling such happiness for you... and now I realize that the timing was not a coincidence... Gotta love you man... You are one of the good ones... as is that other special person of whom you speak so highly...

 

Here's wishing you all the best as your incredible journey continues!

[seeker630]

Seeker, I guess the point I was "trying" to make for the "newbies" is that they should go into hiring "EXPECTING" to find the sort of relationship that NYTOM found. That would only set them up for disappoint. Its wonderful if it does HAPPEN, and yes it can, but I dont think that should be your primary goal when engaging an escort. First and foremost its a business, and escorts are businessmen, and ANY businessman is looking to make money. Every cloud doesnt have a silver lining, and every story doesnt have a happy ending.

I was just offering a different persepctive, and certainly not minimizing NYTOMS personal, heartfelt story.

 

JJK, I got your point and was not disagreeing with it. Not everyone is looking for the same thing, nor do we always FIND it (hence my reference to the 'capabilities' of the escorts as well as to the 'wants' of the clients.)

[Cooper]

Tomcat,

 

A wonderful story that came straight from your heart. I've enjoyed reading about and following your journey. Glad you found the right person at the right time.

 

Hope you'll spend more time posting on daddy's and sharing your struggles/triumphs.

 

Stay well.

[+ FreshFluff]

Glad you found the right person

 

Exactly. TomCat's escort may be a special case. I remember that, at some point, he also helped another closeted forum member who was feeling down.

[NYTomcat]

Seeker, I guess the point I was "trying" to make for the "newbies" is that they should go into hiring "EXPECTING" to find the sort of relationship that NYTOM found. That would only set them up for disappoint. Its wonderful if it does HAPPEN, and yes it can, but I dont think that should be your primary goal when engaging an escort. First and foremost its a business, and escorts are businessmen, and ANY businessman is looking to make money. Every cloud doesnt have a silver lining, and every story doesnt have a happy ending.

I was just offering a different persepctive, and certainly not minimizing NYTOMS personal, heartfelt story.

 

I never took as minimizing in any way... i do consider myself very lucky to have met the amazing men i have here. In many ways my experience may not be the norm. But it can and does happen. Im just glad the forum has been here for me and for all the wonderful people who have so influenced my life i found here. My escort was the linchpin. No doubt but there are so many others. The real truth is if you are open to the people here they can have amazing effects on your life.

 

From romann to tyger to dane to raul to ace to nate to david to brandon. To lbt to whipped to doit to daddy to cooper to lucky to oliver to so many i cant even name them all. Its been a family to me and gave me the strength to reinvent myself and my life... i cant even begin to thank them all for where i am today.....

 

This may not be the norm. But you all made this an amazing and possible trip for me. I adore you all.

[Racketjock]

Tom,

 

Thanks for sharing your journey with the board. Certainly a heartfelt tribute to someone who had an impact on your life and how it has transformed things for you. I do not have your talent with words, but know that I share a similar but different path. I will remain forever thankful to one escort who pulled me off the ledge, gave me perspective, shared himself, and helped me remember some very important things about myself. He gave me far more than he received, and I am a better man because of it.

[Phil_musc]

Tom,

I don't personally know you but I had always enjoyed reading your posts and I was aware that your posts had become less frequent. Now I understand why. Thanks for being a presence again and writing so eloquently of your experiences. It sounds like you were at the right place at the right time with the right escort. A number of points had to be in correct alignment for it to work out so well. I'm glad that it did for you and that you cared to share your experiences with the rest of us. I guess the lesson here is to be open to life and its infinite possibilities and to take each encounter and experience for what it has to offer. An open, positive attitude creates situations that will allow you grow and become all that you can be.

 

At the same time I too understand JJK's position. I'm somewhere between the two of you and wouldn't discount or disagree with either side on this one.

[dapurplebear]

TK -- awesome -- you have taken a journey and are better for it and so glad that you are doing so well - great to read it and to check in every now and then on our phones!! :-)

[jjkrkwood]

I think the "take-away" lesson to be learned here is not to delay YOUR happiness to make other people happy. In most coming out stories, fear of rejection, fear of disappointing others, fear of loss etc all play a large part in the decision to stay closeted. Life is short, and you have to be happy to realize and fulfill your full potential. And the roads to happiness are vaired

with the journey different for each person. But as NYTOM demonstrates, there can be a silver lining. Best of luck and God speed to all those out there embarking on their own journey.

[seeker630]

I think the "take-away" lesson to be learned here is not to delay YOUR happiness to make other people happy. In most coming out stories, fear of rejection, fear of disappointing others, fear of loss etc all play a large part in the decision to stay closeted. Life is short, and you have to be happy to realize and fulfill your full potential. And the roads to happiness are vaired

with the journey different for each person. But as NYTOM demonstrates, there can be a silver lining. Best of luck and God speed to all those out there embarking on their own journey.

 

Well said, JJK!

[bigvalboy]

Well NYT, a member just phoned me an told me that I should read your post. It was fascinating. I thank you for your thoughts and candor about your life. In the past some escorts that I have met have remained just that, an escort for hire, however, I to have developed a couple of friendships that have lasted now more than 10 years. We have long ago stopped sleeping together, and now see each other on strictly a friendship bases, so that does happen. There are those that do not have the ability emotionally or the character to develop a further relationship. For some it just is not in their nature. I have embraced the spirit of the human condition for so long, that befriending someone is almost second nature to me. As LBT and I were discussing over the weekend, it is a fine line between escorts and friendships.

 

After personally meeting so many escorts and just laughing and hanging out socially with all of them, I know that more than a few I will soon call my friend.

 

I must tell you also, that your name came up repeatedly this weekend. You are VERY highly thought of among the members and escorts that were there. You were very much missed by everyone in attendance. I only wish that I could have met you. Perhaps next year!

 

best to you for now, BVB

[+ Lucky]

A very interesting thread, NYTomcat, and it is good to know that you find yourself in a good place after an interesting journey.

[+ Tygerscent]

When at times we feel loss, it is Spirit we inevitably find~

Love Tyger~

971.400.2633

 

 

A TALE OF TWO MEN

 

Less than three years ago a scared married father of two sat alone each night before his computer watching gay porn and dreaming of a life that had clearly been denied him. For many reasons he had chosen to stay in the closet. A decision he will never regret. No matter what the price his two children are and will always be his world, as any father will attest. But he could no longer survive pretending. Broken and all but defeated he would sit each night dreaming that he could become the man he was born to be. Slowly becoming a zombie… neither alive nor dead… simple going through the motions of what should have been a joyous life.

 

In an act of desperation, he made an appointment to meet an escort … to him at the time… a hooker. To find at least some point of happiness that might help him keep going in his façade of a life. How was he to know that in finding this “hooker,” who was to be no more than an evening’s pleasure, he would find a friend. No … a catalyst to change.

 

The appointment went well the reviews all positive but below the surface something more was brewing. The joy of the moment brought the fall to reality and the man could not raise the façade again. Lost and scared he never thought he could find himself. Just when he was sure he wanted to die, from the blue came a text message on his phone “Don’t worry, we will get you through this.”

 

The man found a light into his dark hell of an existence. Each night, as before, as the man would sit by his computer, this man he had hired for a simple good time would write to him, share his time and his thoughts. More he would share his life. Slowly, night by night, this escort, this man he had hired to be no more than a pleasure toy would walk the dark and lonely nights with him. Teaching him about men… about relationships…about heartbreak…about life.

 

For over a year this escort would share his joys and help bear his pains. Occasionally, the man would even share in the escorts joys and burdens as well. Day by day… night by night they would recap the day and help prepare for the next day to come. Over this time, the man grew and learned and found himself. The escort he had hired for “a good time” had done what no one else had seen or known to do. He had given the man back his life.

 

After a year, the man had come out to the world…. Accepted who he was and accepted what he wanted to be. Still he relied daily on the escort to be his constant support.. his guide… his confident. While he searched for his place in the world, the escort was there to boost him up or clip his wings when he pushed too far… too fast. Ever keeping him on course.

 

I am that man and It was one year ago that had my last sexual encounter with my guide… my escort through the turmoil that was my life. As much as I needed and relied on him, I had to say goodbye and find my own way or never be able to stand on my own. He knew that even before I did as he had with all my steps through this process. As I boarded a plane to leave him he walked me to my gate and told me “ I love you and miss you already” and so do I even today. Not a day will go by that I do not think of him. Not an occasion happens in my life that I do not want to share with him. Not a thing I achieve do I not in some way credit to him. I am the man I am today because of many people. But few will ever have the impact that this “escort” did to me.

 

So today I am a much happier man. Comfortable with myself. Finding my own way. Even happily starting a relationship with high hopes and realistic expectations. But I cannot let this weekend pass without a thought for every member of the forum.

 

We are a close knit group, we may bicker and fight. And many have accused each of us of being doggedly loyal to our “favorites” But what is most important to remember is that many of the men we hire for very short periods are incredible people. Who often have a much greater impact on our lives than simply sexual gratification. They are listeners, they are counselors, they are lovers and most of all they are friends.

 

I have on many occasions been ridiculed here for sharing too much of my life with the forum. For telling too much about how my experiences with forum members and escorts have affected me. For this reason, I have pulled back however, though I am sure my escort would berate me, I am posting this anyway.

 

To all the great gentleman who I have met along the way…. My best to you

 

To all the great gentleman enjoying Palm Springs…. I wish I were with you

 

To all the escorts who have meant so much to me… Thank you

 

To my escort “I love you and still miss you to.”

[Guest countryboywny]

Tom,

 

Thanks for your post. It epitomizes the feeling about escorts that you, I, and I'm sure SOME others feel about the men they hire. Eloquently said, on target and a touching representation of your feelings. Bravo! Hope to see you soon, my friend.

[Bosguy]

TC,

 

Great post. So glad that you emphasized the fact that there are "working guys" out there that are so meaningful in our lives. Thanks for the feelings you so eloquently provided.

 

Boston Bill