A moral and ethical dilema

[+ Italiano]

Mikey, bizarre that you write this, you are one of the 2 only escorts who canceled an appointment (about 14 months ago, one morning when you were supposed to come to me in Sarasota) and disappeared without even calling me to notify it.....

[Guest joeburger]

Mike, I'd say it's the nature of the beast. If you're being notified of the cancelation then that's something. i've had many clients cancel before and most were no shows which sucks even more. if they're calling to cancel at least you have time to rebound. As far as a small market, it depends on your location. I would think SW florida would be decent with all the retirees. If there's a high population then you have to be creative with advertising to reach them.

 

joeburger

[Stagger]

I've cancelled two times over the last ten years, most recently last week. Both times were due to being sick. I could have showed up and gone through with the appointments, but I feel a responsibility to not spread germs to a person who makes their living with intimate contact with others. I rescheduled the appointments and definitely increase the amount of the tip to make up for the cancelled visit- to me this should be expected.

[Michael Wayne]

EXCELLENT RESPONSE GUYS!!!!!! 1. adriano: RIGHT ON! and for me offering to reschedule is best. 2. THE LEGEND: that is why you are the best! You, like me, are old school all the way. 3. JOEY-your approach makes alot of sense. Alot of clients want to feel as if they are the only one for that day, though. They don't want to be sloppy seconds or second choice (and rightfully so!) 4.very happy customer: WISH MORE CLIENTS DID THAT (VERY FEW EVEN OFFER) 5. Country Boy: I wish I knew you! For the record: I ALMOST NEVER cancel. It happened twice in all of 2,011. Once my bf showed up unannounced in atlanta during tour and demanded an evening with me alone which screwed up my evening wiuth DECATUR GUY and the other time I had honestly came 5 times that day and did not want to charge for a limp dick! (lol) 6. RAUL: At least I am not the only one! I thought my dick had shrunk or something (lol!) cheer up stud! There are still thousands of great clients out there for you and me. 7. instudiocity: from day 1 with me it has always been about superior customer service and , as a result, my clients have always been so good to me- and loyal. It is setting up with thr new clients yhese days that is frustrating.

[Michael Wayne]

Continuing my response to the posts......

 

8. juan: u and i have the same approach and attitude. I was just asking the question about double booking. It is not my practice. 9. MAXWELL: hush, stud! You are letting all our in house biz secrets out to the world! lol! 10. DECATUR GUY : as I said an example that sometimes cancelllations are unavoidable. And u r so kind and understanding. 11. xafnndapp: and i will publicly offer you a free session same as the one I owe decatur guy in atl. I was visiting family then on a hectic trip but now i am ion fla full time. If I cancel I offer a free session . That is my policy now. call me and i will honor it-anytime. sorry. 12. Joe Burger : unfortunately in this economt along with the term, "retiree," also comes the unfortunate adjective, "CHEAP!" There are wonderful exceptions downhere, thanks God! If only the asses here were as tight as the wallets that ride their asses. Ok, sorry, I vented. Again, their are exceptions........

[Dave]

A man's word should count for something[/color][/b] - I know that sounds like out-take dialog from a Clint Eastwood or John Wayne flick, but nevertheless, it's true).

 

yeah, i thought that sentence about us both going down in a good cause was a little weird too. Philmusc, you are right, it seems so simple... "people should follow through with what they say they will do." i like that you attribute it to a man's word, but i would assert that a woman's word should count for something, too. and if something comes up (which DOES happen) - - -

 

There may be good reasons the client has to cancel[/color][/b]:

 

-- He's gotten a stomach virus, feels lousy and doesn't want to give it to the escort (it happens)

-- He's gotten called into work unexpectedly and can't refuse the boss, especially in this economy.

-- His car has broken down and he needs to use the hiring money to repair it.

-- Perhaps the client's BF has unexpectedly showed up in town and he's now caught in an awkward position.

-- Perhaps the client is tired from a long day of attending a sports event and is just physically wiped out.

 

Legitimate things do happen to cause planned meetings to go awry... Not every client canceling on an escort is playing games, just as every escort canceling on clients is not playing games.

i mean, we as humans can choose to walk around the planet either BELIEVING others, or NOT. i use the word "choose" here because it really is a choice, although many people are unaware that they even have a choice in the matter. in my life, i choose to TRUST people and TAKE THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE SAYING in most cases. i'm not some naive waif, i just know the alternative is to distrust, and that's not something i want to practice (i know how i got this way, i was heavily influenced by a culture i discovered overseas, several years ago.)

 

let's take a station break and hear

 

now, while i choose to think that people are being honest with me, i also give them space to change their personal histories or recounting of situations. we've all been there, right?

 

people just don't even bother to call[/color]. When I would be happy if they even just said: "Sorry something came up"

 

this really is one of the ultimate rude behaviors in escort/client relationships. everyone - client and escort alike - should prioritize communication. and cancelling an appointment by sending an email or text message, or leaving a voicemail message, without getting a confirmation that the intended recipient actually RECEIVED the message, warrants additional communication from the sender. its not so great if someone needs to cancel an appointment with me, but i get that shit happens sometimes. what's really bad is when they send an email doing so. if i dont get the email, then i'm still planning on that appt, right?

 

better would be if they pick up the phone and call me. once they hear my voice on the other end, they can cancel knowing i'm actually getting that cancellation. (leaving a voicemail works too, as long as i call them back to say "i got your message..." and it should go without saying that if they leave a voicemail message, but don't hear back from me in say, 6 hours, they should call again to insure i've got their message.)

 

so much of this is just common courtesy, and yet somehow in the realm of escorting, some people think the rules don't have to apply. professional escorts and respectful clients choose otherwise.

[KMEM]

 

so much of this is just common courtesy, and yet somehow in the realm of escorting, some people think the rules don't have to apply. professional escorts and respectful clients choose otherwise.

 

But, there doesn't seem to be an abundance of either one, does there?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Decatur Guy]

I have never canceled a firm appointment with an escort. One time, I did cancel a "penciled in" appointment five days ahead of time.

 

Because of my schedule, it's difficult to commit to an appointment weeks ahead. One week out is about the best I can do. (I have committed further out for traveling escorts before). So often, I will do a penciled-in appointment, and the understanding is this: If the escort gets another offer in the same time slot, he is absolutely free to and should take it, because I am not committed yet.

 

So when I do the check-in call to firm it up, I know that time slot might be gone. And that's happened to me -- once. All the other times when I've called to firm up the appointment 48 to 72 hours out, the spot has always still been opened. I think that arrangement is fair to both parties. The escort knows possible/probable business is looming at xx p.m. xxxday, but is also 100% free and clear to book another appointment if a firm offer comes in. And this way, I know I probably will have that session when I know I'll be able to make it, though there's the risk I'll lose the time slot.

 

That's yet another reason I don't do fly-ins and overnights. In addition to the expense and all the things that can go wrong, I just am not in a position to promise someone that six weeks from now, I'll be free that weekend.

 

In 2012, I have a few escorts and cities in mind, but I'll be doing the traveling to them if I can swing it.

[maxwellissmart]

I have never canceled a firm appointment with an escort. One time, I did cancel a "penciled in" appointment five days ahead of time.

 

Because of my schedule, it's difficult to commit to an appointment weeks ahead. One week out is about the best I can do. (I have committed further out for traveling escorts before). So often, I will do a penciled-in appointment, and the understanding is this: If the escort gets another offer in the same time slot, he is absolutely free to and should take it, because I am not committed yet.

 

So when I do the check-in call to firm it up, I know that time slot might be gone. And that's happened to me -- once. All the other times when I've called to firm up the appointment 48 to 72 hours out, the spot has always still been opened. I think that arrangement is fair to both parties. The escort knows possible/probable business is looming at xx p.m. xxxday, but is also 100% free and clear to book another appointment if a firm offer comes in. And this way, I know I probably will have that session when I know I'll be able to make it, though there's the risk I'll lose the time slot.

 

That's yet another reason I don't do fly-ins and overnights. In addition to the expense and all the things that can go wrong, I just am not in a position to promise someone that six weeks from now, I'll be free that weekend.

 

In 2012, I have a few escorts and cities in mind, but I'll be doing the traveling to them if I can swing it.

 

Speaking of cancelations and integrity—my appointment for tomorrow (you know, the one made by the guy who was SO EXCITED to come see me and SO GRATEFUL blah blah blah) has been canceled, because he has a cold. Fair enough. So while trying to reschedule for the next weekend (part of which I have responsibilities I can't get out of), he's refusing to meet at the time I can get together—because he has a haircut appointment.

 

And no... he doesn't want to reschedule it because that might upset his hairstylist.

 

And yes... I canceled a personal trip out of town for NYE because he booked with me.

[MsGuy]

the next weekend... he's refusing to meet at the time I can get together—because he has a haircut appointment.

 

And no... he doesn't want to reschedule it because that might upset his hairstylist.

 

http://www.city-data.com/forum/attachments/politics-other-controversies/86099d1318715790-finally-guide-ows-hand-gestures-face-palm-300x300.jpg

 

Some folks are just too self-oriented to waste your time on.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I understand how many of the escorts feel about this because I've talked to many of them about it. The behavior of the bad clients out there who cancel for no reason, short notice, or no show is a problem for the clients such as myself and many of the others here. I know I've found that the forum members here do tend to be among the best clients around who would never dream of pulling some of the crap that I've heard about from so many of my escorts.

 

I do think I'm a pretty good client. My word to my escort when I schedule an appointment is my bond. I don't want to screw up my own reputation with them for any reason at all. And being a good client is to my benefit as well. I've had more than one guy add DC to their schedule simply because they knew my time with them was guaranteed. I've even recently had a guy, one of the top guys around, offer to come to dc just to see me for a cup of coffee, knowing i had been recouping from knee surgery.

 

I remember last year I was planning on flying from Richmond to NY to see one of my favorite guys who was touring there. This was February. And if you remember last winter here on the east coast, it was dicey at times with air travel. I spent the preceding 10 days monitoring the weather channel damned near hourly. I stayed in touch with my guy. Fortunately, I was given a very small window of good weather to fly in and then fly back out (mind you this was for a 3-4 hour appointment only). But had the weather prevented me from flying, I would have paid him the entire fee owed. Certainly the presence of weather which would have made flying impossible wouldn't have been my fault. But I had made the commitment, he had reserved the time for me and therefore I feel I would have owed him his fee.

 

I have never cancelled an appointment once set, but if I did, and my guy was not able to schedule someone in that time, I feel I would be obligated to pay for it.

 

Dave is right (as usual): this is simply a matter of common decency and courtesy. You treat someone as you would want to be treated. Plain and simple. But from what I hear from my guys, that simple concept is more the exception rather than the rule.

[Bosguy]

I understand how many of the escorts feel about this because I've talked to many of them about it. The behavior of the bad clients out there who cancel for no reason, short notice, or no show is a problem for the clients such as myself and many of the others here. I know I've found that the forum members here do tend to be among the best clients around who would never dream of pulling some of the crap that I've heard about from so many of my escorts.

 

I do think I'm a pretty good client. My word to my escort when I schedule an appointment is my bond. I don't want to screw up my own reputation with them for any reason at all. And being a good client is to my benefit as well. I've had more than one guy add DC to their schedule simply because they knew my time with them was guaranteed. I've even recently had a guy, one of the top guys around, offer to come to dc just to see me for a cup of coffee, knowing i had been recouping from knee surgery.

 

I remember last year I was planning on flying from Richmond to NY to see one of my favorite guys who was touring there. This was February. And if you remember last winter here on the east coast, it was dicey at times with air travel. I spent the preceding 10 days monitoring the weather channel damned near hourly. I stayed in touch with my guy. Fortunately, I was given a very small window of good weather to fly in and then fly back out (mind you this was for a 3-4 hour appointment only). But had the weather prevented me from flying, I would have paid him the entire fee owed. Certainly the presence of weather which would have made flying impossible wouldn't have been my fault. But I had made the commitment, he had reserved the time for me and therefore I feel I would have owed him his fee.

 

I have never cancelled an appointment once set, but if I did, and my guy was not able to schedule someone in that time, I feel I would be obligated to pay for it.

 

Dave is right (as usual): this is simply a matter of common decency and courtesy. You treat someone as you would want to be treated. Plain and simple. But from what I hear from my guys, that simple concept is more the exception rather than the rule.

 

I had the same experience with I believe the same guy (my favorite) the end of January in Boston. We had planned an extended overnight during his stay. As Lee stated, the weather on the East Coast was not good. We both monitored the weather and kept in touch. The day of the appointment, I shoveled my ass off to get there no matter what.

Point of story. He had a client who asked him to come to Boston a day earlier than posted and he called this wonderful working guy at his home airport as he was waiting to board and CANCELLED with no reason. The end result was I was the only one who followed through on his commitment. Disgusting!!!

After that, this no show, last minute cancellation issue seems to have grown. These people claim they have REASONS--BS. They have EXCUSES or LIES! The working guys have substantial expenses when they travel, and this type of behavior costs them lots of increased expenses plus lost revenue--cancelled appointment plus possible other clients for that time period

 

Let's think about ALL people involved in this type of arrangement

 

Boston Bill

[down_to_business]

Kind of sad when 'keeping your word' or showing common courtesy and mutual respect become a moral or ethical delimma.

 

No shows, late cancels, blatant lies etc etc are prevelant in this business on both sides of the fence. Clients stand up escorts, escorts stand up clients.

 

Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject:

 

First, my one area of disagreement- for those who belive that if a client cancels on the escort they 'owe' everything but when the escort cancels on the client they 'owe' nothing I say utter and complete BULLSHIT. That goes against everything necessary to make escort client relationships work, like common courtesy and mutual respect.

 

Don't intentionally double book clients. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Just because someone cancelled on you, doesn't give you the high ground to cancel on someone else. Likewise, just because one escort no showed on you doesn't grant you the right to cancel on another escort. Be as honest as you can or are willing to be. If you are going to cancel on someone, give them as much notice as possibe and be honest. Don't tell someone your mother died when you are cancelling on them to go to a movie with a friend or because you got a better offer. Don't ever assume that you have a good reason to cancel, communicate. It takes (at leaset 2) to make an appointment and it should take 2 to cancel an appointment. Don't make an appointment if you can't keep it. If you do and you have to cancel, do everything you can to bring a satisfactory cancellation to both sides(reschedule, cancellation fee, return prepaid funds, etc.). BE REASONABLE and if possible be forgiving. NEVER just no show.

 

Also don't ever think that you are the only person or profession where this happens. It happens everywhere and in every thing. Didn't you see the news report the other day about the 'contractor' that burned the lady to death in the elevator because she didn't pay him (ok that is a nutcase and an extreme example). People hire roofing contractors and then refuse to pay after the work is done. Roofing contractors hire day laborers and refuse to pay the workers after the work is complete. Homeowners pay a company to build a swimming pool in their back yard and the company might dig a hole and then they never return to finish the job. The cable company tells you they will fix your cable sometime between 8-5 on Monday and they never show up to do the job. Yes- you took off work to meet the cable repairman, you had expenses and made sacrafices, and they didn't show up at all. You call, they give you some lame ass excuse about how the previous job ran longer than they expected or that they had you down for the following Tuesday. What can you do? Do you feel this now gives you the right to schedule the exterminator to spray your apartment at noon and just not show up to let him in?

 

I will add I have NEVER cancelled on an escort and never plan to, even though several have cancelled or no showed on me. Some of the ones who have no showed have offered to make it up but (possibly expectedly) no one has EVER followed though on that promise. Its excuse after excuse. For this reason, I have come to the belief that there are 2 kinds of people, those that are true to their word and those who aren't.

 

May the good escorts out there find honest clients and may the good clients out there find honest escorts in 2012.

[Dave]

well said, down_to_business!

[JoeyBryant]

To add to all this as I can't quote all the great replies individually, a lot of the cancellation on the part of escorts can also be contributed to the overwhelming task of scheduling. We are disadvantaged due to the fact we don't have secretaries/receptionists, which we should.

 

On many of my travels, I get so stressed by having to be travel agent/secretary/receptionist/companion/manager/accountant/financial analyst all at once. But, when you set aside a moment to gather your thoughts and focus rather than just be pushed around by all the calls and emails...you can think more clearly.

 

What makes it hard though, is the fact of not knowing whether someone will cancel. But that doesn't justify double-booking, just means you have to have a backup plan. Don't depend on any 1 client. Think worst case scenario (cancellation) and act accordingly.

 

everyone - client and escort alike - should prioritize communication.

 

Americans don't know how to communicate. Most of us are phony. Read the headline on my blog and you will see what I mean. In a nutshell, the guy I been dating for 4 months complained about turning 45, and asked NOTHING of me for his birthday. And then 2 weeks later he bitches to me in the form of text messages from 7:30 am to 4:30 pm on New Year's eve about how he wanted a nice dinner on his birthday instead of the 3 gifts I bought him

 

You'd think a 45 year old man with a great career, wonderful personality and 4 months together would be able to express himself. Nope.

[Michael Wayne]

I like looking at the legendary cock at the end of his posts now!

[maxwellissmart]

...the guy I been dating for 4 months complained about turning 45, and asked NOTHING of me for his birthday. And then 2 weeks later he bitches to me in the form of text messages from 7:30 am to 4:30 pm on New Year's eve about how he wanted a nice dinner on his birthday instead of the 3 gifts I bought him

 

You'd think a 45 year old man with a great career, wonderful personality and 4 months together would be able to express himself. Nope.

 

I hope you meant to say: "HAD been dating," as in "we aren't dating anymore [because he's an asshole]."

 

I had a friend who used to pull this p/a shit all the time... he hated Christmas and birthdays and holidays and made numerous public announcements stating as such, but would turn into a petulant child if everyone didn't bend over backwards to get him exactly what he wanted. And he was a terrible gift-giver in return (which, normally I don't want anything—since I'm to the point where it really is much more fun to give someone something than to get it). But he would obviously run out at the last minute and find a "this'll do" gift and then bitch that someone didn't take the time to personalize their gift with his exact taste.

[Dave]

I like looking at the legendary cock at the end of his posts now!

 

thanks, Mikey! i'd like to look at yours, at the end of my ass - now!

[Bosguy]

Shouldn't be difficult. Dave's Florida road trip is right nearby. The video would be priceless!!!!

 

Boston Bill

[JoeyBryant]

I hope you meant to say: "HAD been dating," as in "we aren't dating anymore [because he's an asshole]."

 

I had a friend who used to pull this p/a shit all the time... he hated Christmas and birthdays and holidays and made numerous public announcements stating as such, but would turn into a petulant child if everyone didn't bend over backwards to get him exactly what he wanted. And he was a terrible gift-giver in return (which, normally I don't want anything—since I'm to the point where it really is much more fun to give someone something than to get it). But he would obviously run out at the last minute and find a "this'll do" gift and then bitch that someone didn't take the time to personalize their gift with his exact taste.

 

There must be a name for such a personality disorder. I'm going to google that one...

[Michael Wayne]

I am ALL IN FOR THAT ONE!!!!

[+ Italiano]

11. xafnndapp: and i will publicly offer you a free session same as the one I owe decatur guy in atl. I was visiting family then on a hectic trip but now i am ion fla full time. If I cancel I offer a free session . That is my policy now. call me and i will honor it-anytime. sorry. .

 

This is being professional. I really appreciate it!

[Dave]

I am ALL IN FOR THAT ONE!!!!

 

well Mikey, now all we need is a client who wants to be the first to have a threesome with us!